Interlude 33: Ayaka and Saber
'STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME, YOU MURDERER!'
Those words cut deeper than any blade could. Each word left wounds on my very soul. That's because…
… she's right.
I've killed… so many people. I massacred the Saxtons. And not just the men, but the women, and the children too. I tried to justify that horrific tragedy as 'the ends justify the means.' But that's wrong. You can never justify murder.
Even still all I've done throughout my life is live by that certain philosophy. 'The ends justify the means.' It would later be coined as Consequentialism by a philosopher named Max Weber. Or at least that's what I learned when I was summoned in this far eastern land.
I was foolish to think that I would be able to justify the people I've hurt and the lives I've taken. Even if I preserved all of Camelot, I would only be protecting that one small part of the world. And that would mean the rest of the world would end up suffering.
To say that such a wish is noble and just is hypocritical. Only now do I realize that fact after I put down a young man who wanted to save his sister so badly, he forfeited his one shot at a wish to do so. And in the end… he died for nothing. Just like Mr. Sajyou said-
'… War is all about making the rich even richer. That's the ugly truth about war that people ignore. That's why they try to defend it. Because deep down in their hearts they know that the person they loved died for absolutely nothing. That's why…'
'… War is hell.'
I've lived my life while trying to be righteous and fighting for justice. But all I got was-
'King Arthur does not understand the desires of humans.'
Have I truly never understood humanity? And if I haven't am I even human? Or am I just a Servant, a tool to be used in war and discarded after they've served in purpose? I couldn't even protect my Master's smile. She definitely despises me with every fiber of her being.
But could I blame her? Can I even be considered a hero after what atrocities I've done in the past? No. Much less after I killed that young man. I'm no hero. I'm just a tool. I'm just a tool who's going to be thrown in the garbage as soon as this war is over-
"Hello!" A voice called out to me which broke my train of thought and brought me back to reality.
"Hello, Ayaka. What brings you here?" I asked.
"Well, this is my Mother's garden we're standing in, right?" Ayaka asked with a pout. Only then did I look up and realize that she was correct.
"It seems that you are right." I replied.
"That's right! I've spent tons of time here! I've even named all the flowers here! Want to see them?" Ayaka asked.
"Sure." I replied.
"Look! That tall one is Shirou! This beautiful one is Rin! The one next to her is Sakura! And that one who's about to die… he's Shinji." Ayaka explained as she pointed out all of the flowers to me. Though I wasn't paying too much attention.
"Hmm. Is something wrong?" Ayaka asked.
"I-It's nothing. Really." I replied as I lied through my teeth.
"Hmph! I can tell that you're lying!" Ayaka spoke as she pointed at me.
"Huh?" I asked. Could this girl really see through the façade I've made?
"Just be honest with me! Trust me I don't bite! Only sometimes!" Ayaka spoke as she closed her eyes with a smile.
"T-That's reassuring. Hahaha." I laughed awkwardly. I guess I'll tell her the truth.
"I have a wish." I spoke.
"You mean for the Grail?" Ayaka asked.
"That's right. My wish is for the… prosperity of Camelot. Plenty of people suffered when Camelot fell. I want to save those people. I wanted a nation where people won't have to worry about anything anymore. A place where only happiness exists." I explained.
That's right. This is the truth of my wish. A truth that I've even kept secret from Manaka. If I could wish for Camelot to be reborn into a utopia, then the people who have lost their King can survive there. That way they won't have to face hardships anymore. They will truly be saved.
But that's wrong-
"I think your wish to save Camelot is beautiful." Ayaka admitted.
"What? D-Do you really mean that?" I asked.
"Of course! I'm not a liar! I always tell the truth!" Ayaka admitted with a pissed-off but funny expression.
"Hahaha… I believe you." I laughed.
"Eh? Then why did you just laugh at me?!" Ayaka asked.
"Because you're cute when you get mad." I admitted.
"C-C-CUTE?! I'm not cute! Not in the slightest! I mean Onee-chan is so much more pretty than me." Ayaka replied. But then…
"I-I have a selfish question." Ayaka continued as she bawled up her fists.
"Is something the matter?" I asked.
"Please! Please save Onee-chan!" Ayaka begged as she got on her hands and knees and cried.
"Ah!" I gasped. I was completely taken aback by Ayaka's actions. But I-
"I can't. I'm sorry… but there is no way I could save h-" I spoke but before I finished, she cut me off.
"Y-You have too! I mean your King Arthur, right?! You can do anything!" Ayaka shouted. I want to believe in her words. But how can I? How can I save Manaka when all I've done is pretend to be a righteous hero all this time?! It's impossible! That's why I can't!
"O-Onee-chan has been acting strange! Ever since this Grail War began, she's been growing increasingly distant from me! She even yelled at me and said that I wasn't her sister!" Ayaka admitted. Why would she-AH! Does that mean-
'That girl…'
'… Is not my daughter.'
Those were Mr. Sajyou's words earlier this night! C-Could he have actually meant that Manaka isn't his biological daughter?! But then that means Manaka and Ayaka aren't really sisters! Just what is going on with this family?!
"Please… Saber!" Ayaka begged as tears ran down her face.
"I… I want nothing more than to save her. But how can I? How can I save anybody when I haven't even saved a single person?! I don't believe that I can!" I admitted. That's right. A fake Hero of Justice, a faker like me can't hope to save anyone-
"I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT!" Ayaka roared at the top of her lungs.
"W-What?" I spoke as I was taken aback once more by this girl.
"You… you are my hero! Even if you don't believe that you can save anybody, I do! I believe that you can save anyone! I can't do a single thing right. I've always been average. So average. That's why…" Ayaka spoke until she paused for a second until-
"… YOU HAVE TO SAVE HER! YOU HAVE TO PROTECT ONEE-CHAN!" Ayaka roared once more. Those words, just like the ones from earlier, they pierced into my very soul. However, this time…
… They've given me courage!
"Ayaka." I spoke as I put one knee onto the ground.
"Y-Yes." Ayaka replied as she stared back at me.
"I promise you that I will save her… even if I have to sacrifice my life in the process…" I spoke as I paused for a few seconds until-
"… I WILL SAVE HER!" I declared as I will make this vow a reality! That I swear by my name, King Arthur!
"Thank you… I know you can do it." Ayaka replied with a smile as tears still dripped from her eyes. And then…
"Yeah! You better believe I will! I'm going to bring Manaka home! And you'll be able to be together again once more!" I roared once more as I wiped her tears away. I then stood up and walked away. But then…
"W-Will I ever see you again?" Ayaka asked.
"I don't-no. I'm sure that we'll meet again one day. Perhaps when you grow into a beautiful young woman." I replied.
"B-B-B-" Ayaka spoke as she was stuttering uncontrollably and was definitely bright red. And then…
"No. I'm sure of it. That's when we'll meet again. Whenever you need my help… I will return to save you! That I promise!" I shouted as I left the garden behind. I knew what I had to do now. I have to save Manaka before her heart is completely destroyed! If I can-no. I will do that! After all…
… I'm Ayaka's hero!
'BAM!' A loud noise was unleashed as everything turned grey and time stopped. And then…
"… Saber." Ayaka spoke as she clutched her chest tightly and looked at the back of the Knight in awe.
"Next." Bernkastel replied as she snapped her fingers. And before I knew it…
… time skipped forward to another event.
