OK! OK! I know I said I was going to post this way earlier, however, when I was writing this originally about halfway through I realized that I wanted to have a whole different chapter before it. *sigh* So it was already late so I called it quits, and then I worked the next two nights, leaving me zero writing time. But here it is! I hope it was worth the wait!

WARNING: Major spoilers for season finale, Lucifer Rising! Don't read if you don't want to be spoiled!

******************************************************************************

Chapter 8

Castiel sat in a chair outside of the room holding Dean, dejected. His last conversation with the hunter had been more than painful. Dean's words had broken his heart.

Zachariah had taken Dean from Bobby's and was now holding him in the angel's "green room." Castiel had felt foolish while Zachariah had talked to Dean, offering him anything the young man could ever want. Castiel knew that the offer of the two women had been a slight against him, something to mock him with, even though the angel had no idea who those women were. He had been relieved, though, when Dean had turned him down. He already hated himself for the things he had done, and the thought of being forced to watch Dean with two other women was more than he could bear.

Still, Castiel knew Dean was angry with him. He had hoped beyond hope that Dean wouldn't ask to see Sam, that seeing Sam would be the last thing on his mind, but then, this was Dean Winchester. And the only thing Dean Winchester ever worried about was Sam Winchester, even if said Winchester had just tried to kill him only hours previously. And that's what he had asked for. He hadn't wanted to say no. Not after everything that had happened, but he couldn't. Zachariah had made that point perfectly clear. So Castiel had done as he had been commanded, removing all the exits to prevent Dean's escape.

Then he heard Dean's conversation with Zachariah. He heard the truth about what Dean's destiny really was. Heard the master plan, in its entirety, for the first time. Castiel felt as though his world was spinning out of control. Everything he had been told… all the work he had done… nothing had been true… he had been betrayed.

And his Father… Zachariah said his Father was gone.

Castiel waited for Zachariah after he had finished talking to Dean. The superior angel could see by Castiel's face he had heard the truth.

"Something wrong, Castiel?"

Castiel stared at him, his eyes filled with unmasked grief. "Is it true? What you told Dean? Has that been the plan all along?"

Zachariah met his gaze, his composure never fluster. "Yes, Castiel. Yes, the plan has been for the Apocalypse to come to pass."

Castiel shook his head in shock. "But… I don't understand…"

Zachariah narrowed his eyes. "You are not meant to understand, Castiel. Again, you forget your place. You are a soldier. Your job is to carry out orders, not to understand them. You had no reason to know what was going on."

"But you said…"

Zachariah took a step closer.

"And what does it matter to you, anyway? I thought you would be happy for Dean and for what awaits him. He will have everlasting peace. The torment he has suffered all these years and his suffering in Hell will be all forgotten. Isn't that what you want for him? You say you love him, so shouldn't you want him to be at peace?"

Castiel swallowed hard. "But… Sam…"

Zachariah sighed. "There must be sacrifices in order to achieve the greater good. Sam will be sacrificed, but, in the end, Dean will learn to accept it. And then the time will come he will be at peace with it. After all, he will be too busy enjoying his rewards for all he has done." Zachariah paused and smirked at Castiel. "Although, I suppose that means you will be forgotten as well. I mean, once this is all over you will return to your regular duties as your services with Dean will no longer be necessary. And Dean will have all the lovely women he could ever ask for laying themselves at his feet. Oh, I suppose he may still remember you in some capacity. He'll remember some courageous angel who pulled him from the bowels of Hell… but… oh what was his name…?"

Castiel felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. His gaze fell and Zachariah's grin broadened.

"I think you understand now, Castiel." He turned and walked away, but called over his shoulder, "Please continue to make sure Dean behaves himself."

All the hurt, all the anger, all the self-loathing welled up inside of Castiel. He closed his eyes and balled up his fists as the grief coursed through him.

Zachariah was right. Dean would be better off this way. No more pain. No more suffering. Dean could finally have the peace that he had been longing for all these years. And he wouldn't need Castiel anymore. Castiel would be forgotten, just like Zachariah said.

He decided to go talk to Dean. He wasn't sure what he was going to say, but he had to do something, even if it meant bringing an end to all of it.

***

"Try to understand, this has been long foretold! This is you-"

"Destiny?! Don't give me that holy crap. Destiny… God's Plan… it's all a bunch of lies, you poor stupid son of a bitch! It's just a way for your bosses to keep me and keep you in line!" Dean looked at Castiel earnestly. "You know what's real? People. Families. That's real! And you're going to watch them all burn!?"

Castiel felt the hurt and desperation rising inside of him. He was tired. So tired of it all.

"What is so worth saving?" He demanded. "I see nothing but pain here! I see inside you. I see your guilt. Your anger. Confusion. In Paradise, all is forgiven. You'll be at peace! Even with Sam."

He wanted to say more. He wanted to say how much he wanted to see Dean at peace. He wanted to put an end to Dean's suffering. He wanted to tell him how much he loved him and how he was doing this because he loved him.

But he couldn't. And it was destroying him inside.

Castiel averted his gaze, not wanting to see Dean's face anymore. But Dean leaned in, forcing the angel to look up.

"You can take your peace," Dean said quietly, but firmly, "And shove it up your lily-white ass. Because I'll take the pain. The guilt. I'll even take Sam as is. It's a lot better than being some Stepford bitch in Paradise!"

Castiel felt his stomach knot and he quickly turned and began walking away. He didn't want to hear anymore.

"This is simple, Cas! No more crap about being a good soldier! There is a right and a there's a wrong here and you know it!"

Castiel didn't want to turn around. This wasn't going how he had hoped, although he knew the chances of Dean accepting the situation were slim. He suddenly felt Dean grab his shoulder and spin him around.

"Look at me!" Dean yelled. "You know it!"

Castiel could see the desperation on Dean's face. He had never felt so confused before. Everything inside him was warring with each other. Everything he had ever known versus the words Dean was saying to him.

"You were going to help me once, weren't you?"

A wave of panic rushed through him and he quickly looked away, but to no avail.

"You were going to warn me about all this before they dragged you away back to Bible Camp. Help me. Now. Please."

Dean's words hit far too uncomfortably close to Castiel's deeply guarded secret. He couldn't bring himself to look Dean in the eye.

"What would you have me do?" Castiel asked hoarsely.

Dean seized on his words. "Get me to Sam! We can stop all this before it's too late!"

He wanted to. Every fiber of his being wanted to say "yes" and help. But the knowledge of what would happen was too terrifying.

"I do that, we will all be hunted! We'll all be killed!"

Castiel looked Dean in the eye with those words, praying that Dean would back down at that.

He should have known better.

"If there's anything worth dying for… this is it."

Castiel couldn't keep the anguish from filling his eyes. He couldn't. He wouldn't let Dean throw away his life in some wasted effort. It didn't matter if Dean didn't understand it now, but Castiel loved him too much to watch him die. He slowly shook his head and dropped his gaze. He could feel Dean's anger begin to roll of him in waves.

"You spineless… soulless… son of a bitch! What do you care about dying? You're already dead! We're done," Dean spat at as he walked away in disgust.

His words cut through the angel like a knife. Castiel struggled to keep his composure.

"Dean-" He whispered quietly, desperately.

"We're done," Dean snapped back.

Castiel dropped his head and left. Once outside the room he collapsed to the floor and buried his head in his hands. Done. Dean had said that they were done. And in his heart Castiel knew it was the truth. There was no way Dean would ever forgive him for everything he had done. He hated him. Wanted nothing more to do with him.

It's better this way. He just doesn't know it yet. This is his chance to be at peace. His suffering can finally end! He will truly be the hero that everyone knows him to be. He will finally receive his just dues.

But at what cost? He thought of Sam and the manipulation he was enduring. He had always liked Sam, despite the demon blood. He had always been amazed at his unfaltering loyalty to Dean, well, when the demon blood wasn't an issue. And back in Utah Sam had known the truth about him and Dean… and it didn't disgust him. And Sam was a hero too. He was only acting because of what Lillith had done to Dean and the misguided notion that destroying Lillith would stop the Apocalypse.

But now… Sam would die… would most likely become Lucifer's vessel… and Dean would be forced to kill his brother in order to bring the Apocalypse to an end. Sam did not deserve such a fate. And Dean should not have to kill his one last family member. They deserved to be together in this fight.

He knew what he had to do… he was just so frightened to have to do it. He knew what was at stake. Sam and Dean's death were not fully ensured as they would both be needed eventually to bring the Apocalypse to an end. Dean would only comply for Sam.

But Castiel knew his own well-being was not needed. He would fall. Once they caught him he would be tortured and his grace removed. He would never see Dean again.

So be it.

******************************************************************************

You know how much I love reviews! Let me know what you think! I will post the next chapter ASAP!

Thanks for reading! : )