Chapter 16

Dean looked down at Castiel's sleeping form. He couldn't help but smile at the fallen angel's tussled damp hair and the way his long dark lashes fell on his pale cheeks. Castiel had snuggled up to Dean, unconsciously seeking warmth as he slept. Dean secretly admitted to himself that he didn't mind. It was an opportunity to be close to Castiel, an opportunity he was more than willing to take advantage of. Granted, he'd have some explaining to do if they were seen like this together, especially if Bobby caught them.

Bobby. Dean sighed as he recalled his conversation with the older hunter earlier that evening. Dean had explained to him what had happened when Castiel had taken him to the "green room" and the truths he had learned while he was there. He quickly explained their escape and what happened with Sam and Lillith and Ruby.

"And, well, you know what happened after that," Dean had said with a sigh. "The seal broke and Lucifer began to rise. We barely made it out of there in time."

Bobby nodded slowly as he listened.

"And then on your way here you found Castiel all beat up outside your motel room?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah, he was pretty bad."

He could see Bobby was thinking very hard about something, but not saying anything. The older hunter's eyes were filled with concern and Dean knew it couldn't be good. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"OK, Bobby. Just say it."

Bobby looked at him surprised. "Say what?"

"Whatever it is you're thinking. I can almost read you like a book and I know when you have something to say so just come out and say it."

"Is that right?"

"Yes, that's right."

Bobby leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees. "And if you don't like what I have to say?"

Dean frowned. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Bobby sighed and ran his hand over his face. Dean felt his stomach tighten nervously. This couldn't be good.

"Dean, I understand you care about this… angel quite a bit. I know you think he's helped you and all-"

"He has helped me," Dean replied tersely.

Bobby nodded slowly. "I know that, Dean. But also look at all the crap he's pulled. He's lied to you left and right about what was really going on. Christ, he nearly got your brother killed! I don't see you very concerned about that!"

Dean scowled furiously. "I already said how I feel about that. He's already paid for his screw ups, Bobby. I'm too damn tired to keep holding it over his head. We all managed to survive and we're here now. He's part of the group now and he can help us put a stop to all this."

"Oh really? And you think he's really going to do that?"

"Why the hell wouldn't he?"

"Dean, angel or not, the last thing that guy upstairs is, is human. How do you know he won't betray you to the other angels if he's given the chance to get his grace back?"

"Cas would never do that!" Dean said furiously.

"And how do you know that?"

"Because!" He felt his confidence momentarily shake, but he quickly found his resolve. "I just know. I know Castiel."

Bobby arched an eyebrow at him. "Is that a fact?"

"Yes."

"And what about the fact that he's fallen? How do you know that he's the same Castiel as the one you knew as an angel? Have you read any of the stuff out there about fallen angels and what happens to them? It's not pretty, Dean. Everything I've found talks about how fallen angels are corrupted and turn to Satan and evil. They become demons, Dean!"

Dean felt his stomach plummet to the floor. The thought had never occurred to him until now. He dropped his gaze as his mind wandered to what could happen. He thought of Castiel turning into one of the demons he encountered in Hell, twisted… deformed. The warmth and caring… the emotion that made Castiel unique… that made Dean's heart nearly burst with love… gone. He closed his eyes and shook his head firmly.

"No," Dean said quietly. He opened his eyes and looked back at Bobby. "No, I won't let that happen to him."

"Dean-"

"No!" Dean repeated firmly. "He's with us now and I will do everything I can to make sure that doesn't happen to him! I will save him! I'm gonna save Sam and I will save Castiel too. He's with us now and I'll do everything in my power to keep him safe! I won't let him turn into a… a demon."

Bobby and Dean stared at each other silently for a few minutes, Dean's words weighing heavy in the air. Finally, Bobby sighed and slowly nodded.

"Alright. If that's how you want it and you trust him, that's how it's gonna be," Bobby said quietly.

"Thanks, Bobby," Dean replied.

At that moment they heard footsteps come down the stairs and soon Ellen entered the room.

"Hey, guys," she said.

Her face was drawn and tired as she sat down. She looked over at Dean.

"Dean, I think you should go up there and help Castiel finish getting cleaned up."

Dean frowned and looked at her quizzically. "Why? What's wrong?"

Ellen sighed. "The poor thing is scared to death of me. Sat there like a deer in the headlights. Didn't want me touching him, didn't want to get undressed in front of me."

Dean felt a pang of sadness at Ellen's words. "Yeah… I know. He's been like that since we found him."

He saw the look in Ellen's eyes immediately. Even though she was trying to avoid his gaze he could see there was something she wasn't telling him.

"Ellen… what is it?"

She closed her eyes and took a deep shuddering breath. It was a minute before she opened them again and looked at Dean.

"Dean," she began slowly, "I don't know what he's told you… but… he's been abused… badly… and I don't think just physically…"

Dean's heart began to pound harder in fury, but he tried to push his fears down. He silently prayed she wasn't going to say what he was thinking.

"What are you saying?" His voice sounded hoarser than he wanted.

Ellen looked down at her hands, unable to look Dean in the eyes. Her hands were clasped together tightly, her knuckles white from the force.

"I… I can't say for sure, Dean… but the way he acts… how frightened he is… he had to have been abused every way possible. He was afraid to let me see him without clothes… kept trying to cover himself when I was getting him into the shower… I… I think somebody raped him…"

Dean's jaw clenched and his nails dug into his palms. It took every ounce of his self not to go into a rage at that moment. He took a long, slow breath in an attempt to calm himself before he spoke, he voice thick with emotion.

"Then I guess that's even more of a reason to keep him safe with us," Dean said firmly.

He couldn't stand it anymore. He quickly stood up and went upstairs, unable to meet Ellen's and Bobby's looks anymore. Neither one said a word as he left.

Now, as he lay there in the bed with Castiel's warm body pressed against his own, a wave of grief overcame him. For some strange reason it wasn't the knowledge that someone had raped his beloved angel. Deep down he somehow knew that the person responsible was already punished for what they had done. What grieved him was the knowledge that Castiel was carrying this burden with him, bearing the pain silently and without complaint. And from the conversations Dean had already had with him, Castiel felt that his suffering was completely justified and deserved. That all of the abuse and torture he had suffered was his punishment that he had brought on himself because of his "disobedience."

Dean carefully pushed aside a lock of dark hair from Castiel's forehead, his touch light and gentle. His heart fluttered for a moment when the sleeping angel turned into his touch and let out a content sigh. Dean smiled as he watched him.

This was his Castiel, the one he had fallen in love with. He understood and respected Bobby's concerns, but he also knew his angel, and although Castiel had fallen he would not turn into some corrupt demon. Castiel's heart was too loving and pure for such a thing. And Dean would be there to protect him, to save him. He had to. He loved Castiel too much to do anything else.

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Have I ever mentioned how much I love it when I start writing a chapter and it comes out totally different than what I had started out to write, but it winds up being so much better? : )

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