Earth. From my cell's small window, it looked even farther away than usual. As a child, I used to stare at the blue planet for hours on end, staring as clouds covered oceans and continents, dreaming of setting foot on the surface. I would draw forests, animals and mountains in the corners of my school books, so lost in thought I wouldn't even hear the teacher yelling my name. My grandmother encouraged my longing for Earth. My father, not so much.
I sighed. It was no use dwelling on the past. Not that I had much else to do in my cell. I had been imprisoned for nearly a year, and still, I was surprised to wake up in it every morning.
I sat on the bed, grabbing the book I had been reading for the past week and flipped it open. On the page was the schematic of a handmade bow, one that I knew by heart but still spent hours staring at. All my books were about Earth, and mostly, about how to survive there. Never mind that I probably wouldn't ever need to use them. My grandmother had given them to me, in the hope that I would one day pass on what I'd learnt to my child and in a few decades, my descendant would step on the surface armed with the knowledge of the entire Kane bloodline.
I knew how to scavenge plants and fruits, how to track prey and hunt, how to make traps, find water, build a fire…If the ground wasn't soaked in radiation, I could survive there with ease. It was all theory, of course. The Ark wasn't the best place to practice those skills.
Suddenly, the door to my cell opened. I stood and faced the wall, anticipating the guard's orders. He was probably there for a routine check.
'Prisoner 2-9-7, you have a visitor.'
I frowned. Visitation Day wasn't until the end of the month, more than three weeks away. I'd been counting down the days, eager to see my grandmother again.
But what I saw when the guard stepped away wasn't Vera Kane, with a kind smile on her face. It was someone else entirely.
'Y/N,' my father said.
I could only stare. I hadn't seen my father in nearly three months. The last time, he had accompanied my grandmother and we'd spent twenty minutes staring in silence at the wall.
'Leave us,' he said to the guard. Usually, prisoners weren't allowed to be left with visitors without supervision. But my father was Marcus Kane, second in command of the Ark and the guard left without a word, closing the door behind him.
'You lost weight,' my father said, breaking the silence. 'Are they not feeding you enough?'
He wouldn't look at me. His eyes went from the wall, to the window, to the bed but never on my face. My throat closed. After all this time, nothing had changed. He was still the same man who had sold me out to the guards and sent me to prison.
At night, when my thoughts escaped me and ran to my father, I remembered happier times. I remembered our small cabin in Tesla Station, the bed I shared with my grandmother and the table my mother used to tinker on. When my father was elected Councillor, he had been offered a better, roomier cabin on Alpha Station but had refused. He felt he didn't deserve better lodgings just because he was higher in the hierarchy. He was a man of the people, a defender of the oppressed, a great husband and an even better dad.
And then, my mother had died.
'Please, say something.'
I went back to the present, to my cold cell and my colder father.
'What do you want me to say?' I answered.
My tone was harsh and he flinched. The urge to apologize was strong, but I crushed it. He kept staring at the wall and anger took over.
'Look at me,' I ordered. I had inherited the Kane voice, strong and unwavering, the kind of voice that quieted crowds and started revolutions. It had never worked on my father before, but this time, his head snapped up. His eyes were full of pain, windows into his soul on an otherwise blank face.
I had my father's spirit, but my mother's looks. My grandmother had explained looking at me hurt him too much. I had been heartbroken at the time. Now, I was just tired.
'I know you hate me,' he said after a time. 'I've accepted that.'
It was my turn to flinch. I didn't hate him, not anywhere close. No matter how much I wanted to. But I couldn't bring myself to correct him.
He deserves to suffer, I thought.
'I wish things were better between us,' he continued. 'I wish we had enough time to fix everything. But we only have a few minutes left.'
I breathed in sharply.
'I'm not eighteen yet,' was the only thing that came out of my mouth. In my mind, I could see the empty vacuum of space and my frozen, lifeless body floating away from the Ark. I didn't want to die, not like this. I deserved better than that.
'No, Y/N, you don't understand,' my father said, taking a step forward.
For a moment, I thought he was going to embrace me. But at the last second, he seemed to realize what he was doing and stopped.
'You're not getting executed. You're going to Earth.'
I stood in a line with the other delinquents, staring at my shaky hands. My mind was a mess of emotions, alternating between terror and exhilaration. I was going to the ground. Home. The Council had elected to send the 100 prisoners from the Sky Box to Earth, after Dr Griffin, Councillor and best medic on the Ark, realized the radiations had dropped low enough for people to survive. And because no one would miss us if we died, they'd decided to make us their guinea pigs. My dad had argued against the entire thing, but I doubted it was for my sake. At least, he'd told me the news himself. That was something.
'You're prepared, he'd said. You know how to hunt. I hope you won't have to, but I've learned a long time ago not to rely on hope. Make a bow. Learn the terrain. And protect the others.'
I had agreed, despite my fear. I was a Kane, and that meant doing whatever I could to keep humanity alive. Whatever the sacrifices. That was the one lesson from my father I would never give up.
As the line slowly moved on, I dragged my fingers across the brace on the inside of my inner arm. It was made of leather, one of the most valuable material on the Ark. Leaves were carved on the edges and a fox ran down the upper length. On the inside, in scrawny letters, were written six words in Polish, my grandmother's mother tongue: 'Jesteś radością mojego życia, mały lis.'
Tears in my eyes, I breathed in slowly. My family was supporting me, and that meant the world at the moment. My father hadn't said anything when he had given it to me, but I knew he was the one who had found the leather. I wished I'd hugged him. My grudge felt stupid in the face of potential death.
On my other arm, a heavy metal wristband was pressing on my hand. I had been told it would transmit my vitals back to the Ark and I hoped that if I died, my father wouldn't have to see it.
I passed him in the hallway and our eyes locked for a brief second before I had walked away. I was stopped by a guard, as the people in front of me climbed ladders and got into the drop ship. A few seconds later, another guard grabbed my arm.
'Let's go,' he said.
He wasn't gentle and I huffed, dragging a little just to express my irritation. His eyes met mine, annoyed. He was young, just a few years older than me, and seemed on edge. There was also something familiar about him but before I could ask if I knew him, he shoved me to a ladder on the other side of the dropship. I huffed but climbed when he ordered me to. However, when he followed me inside, I grew suspicious. Had my father demanded I had a personal escort? It didn't seem likely.
The guard led me to seats in the back of the ship, almost entirely hidden and pushed me down.
'Put your harness on.'
I did, under his watchful eye and even pulled on the straps, proving it was tight enough. But he still didn't leave. Instead, he took off his jacket, stashed it behind my seat and sat down next to me. He strapped in as I gaped, keeping his head down. Like this, he looked like any other delinquent.
He wants to get to the ground, I realized.
But why? Why would anyone risk it? What was he fleeing from that was so bad he would rather die by radiations? How had he even known the Hundred were being sent to Earth? From what I'd seen, the whole operation had been kept secret from the inhabitants of the Ark.
I could have screamed for the guards and have him arrested, but he didn't look like he was a minor and even the smallest crime meant being floated on the Ark. I refused to be responsible for this man's death.
He was looking at me, his dark brown eyes wary.
'You can relax,' I whispered. 'I'm not going to say anything.'
'Why not?' he asked with a voice deeper than I expected. 'You're Kane's daughter, aren't you?'
'So?'
He scoffed, but didn't answer me. I didn't take it personally. My father wasn't popular on the Ark, and as his daughter, I'd taken my fair share of insults. What use would it be to explain to this guy that what my father had done had shocked me as much, if not more, than him? That every time he condemned someone to death, I would feel as if I'd pushed the button myself. That I could barely look at myself in the mirror and my nights were filled with the faces of all those he'd hurt in his quest to save the human race.
So, I stayed silent. A few minutes later, I heard the doors close and the ship was dropped into space with a great lurch that knocked my teeth together. I could feel how fast we were going and I couldn't help the startled laugh that escaped me. The fake guard was tense, his eyes closed.
'What's your name?' I asked after a while.
He stared at me in disbelief and for a moment, I thought he was going to ignore me.
'Bellamy Blake,' he said eventually.
To say I was surprised would be an understatement. Bellamy Blake had more reason to hate my father than most on the Ark. His mother, Aurora Blake, had broken the only child law and had had a daughter after Bellamy, Octavia. The child was kept hidden under the floor for nearly sixteen years before the guards discovered her. Aurora was floated by my father and Octavia sent to the Skybox. I'd seen her a few times, a quiet, lonely girl in the shadows.
Aurora and Octavia's faces often haunted me in my nightmares.
'I'm sorry,' I said.
Bellamy scoffed, looking disgusted.
'I don't need your pity, Kane.'
'That's fair,' I conceded. At least, I now knew why he wanted to go to Earth so bad. Octavia was part of the Hundred and she was probably somewhere in the drop ship. But there was still one thing left unclear. 'Who helped you get on the dropship? You couldn't have done it alone.'
His eyes snapped up, and for a second, I saw panic in them. But he quickly took back control and glared at me.
'That's none of your damn business.'
The conversation stopped there and I didn't insist. Suddenly, the screens lit up and Chancellor Jaha appeared on them. I'd met the man a few times but my father didn't like me near Alpha Station.
'These people are not like us, Y/N. I work with them, but for our people. The workers. Always remember that.'
I wondered if he still thought that way. After all the workers he'd floated, I thought not.
'Prisoners of the Ark, hear me now,' Chancellor Jaha began on the screen. 'You've been given a second chance. And as your Chancellor, it is my hope that you see this as not just a chance for you but a chance for all of us. Indeed, for mankind itself. We have no idea what is waiting for you down there. If the odds of survival were better, we would've sent others. Frankly, we're sending you because your crimes have made you expendable.'
I had gathered as much, but it still wasn't easy hearing it. I could hear angry shouts from all directions in the dropship. Like my father, Jaha wasn't popular with the lower classes.
'If, however, you do survive,' Jaha continued, 'then those crimes will be forgiven. Your records wiped clean.'
Bellamy inhaled sharply and I turned to look at him. His face was pale, and he stared at Jaha with a haunted look in his eyes. I was curious, but I turned back to the screen.
'The drop site has been chosen carefully,' the Chancellor kept going. 'Before the Last War, Mount Weather was a military base built within a mountain. It was to be stocked with enough non-perishables to sustain 300 people for up to two years. No one ever made it there. Because we could spare you no food, no water, no medicine, I cannot stress this enough. Mount Weather is life. You must locate those supplies immediately. You have one job, one responsibility: stay alive. Finally, I'm sure you're wondering about those wristbands-
The ship lurched suddenly. I screamed, out of shock more than fear, and gripped my harness so tight my fingers hurt. Around me, people were screaming but I could barely see with the sparks flying and the flickering lights. Bellamy's eyes were closed, his body tense. A tear ran down my cheek. I didn't want to die, not like this.
But suddenly, it was over. The ship crashed to the ground and everyone stopped screaming. It took them a few seconds, but they all left their seats. Suddenly, I couldn't wait to get out of the dropship, radiation or not. I almost ripped off my harness and made my way to the lower level, joining the crowd in front of the outer door.
'Hey, just back it up!' Bellamy said.
The crowd looked at him and I noticed he'd put the guard jacket back on. He was establishing himself as a figure of authority, and I wasn't sure I liked it. Power-hungry people and dozens of teenagers put together in a potentially hostile world? That spelled disaster.
'Stop!' someone shouted.
I turned around and saw a blond girl step down a ladder. I recognized her immediately. She was Clarke Griffin, daughter of Dr Abby Griffin and alleged traitor. Like Jaha, I had met her a few times through my father's work and we had actually gotten along when we were young. But our relationship had never went beyond playing hide and seek on Alpha Station and braiding each other's hair.
I had known Clarke was in the Skybox but she was kept in isolation and I had never been able to see her. Not that I'd tried.
'The air could be toxic,' Clarke said, pushing through the crowd until she was right in front of Bellamy.
'The air's toxic, we're all dead anyway,' he answered.
He turned to open the door, but before he could put a hand on the lever, someone spoke.
'Bellamy?'
A brown-haired girl that looked younger than me was staring at him. Octavia Blake. She made her way towards her brother as whispers broke out around her.
'Oh, my God,' Bellamy said with a soft smile on his face. 'Look how big you are.'
Octavia hugged him tightly and he buried his face in her hair. I could still remember the day my father had told me about the Blakes. Marcus Kane only saw a bunch of criminals. I saw a woman brave enough to face death for her daughter, torn away from her children because the Ark didn't allow mercy.
'What the hell are you wearing?' Octavia asked Bellamy, frowning. 'A guard's uniform?'
'I borrowed it to get on the dropship. Someone's gotta keep an eye on you.'
She hugged him again and he laughed.
'Where's your wristband?' Clarke asked Bellamy.
'Do you mind?' Octavia said. 'I haven't seen my brother in a year.'
'No one has a brother!' A boy protested from the back of the room.
'That's Octavia Blake!' A girl said. 'The girl they found hidden in the floor!'
Octavia's face contorted with anger and she lunged towards the girl but Bellamy caught her, easily restraining her.
'Let's give them something else to remember you by,' he said.
'Yeah, like what?'
'Like being the first person on the ground in a hundred years.'
Bellamy turned around and put his hand on the lever. This was it. The moment that I had longed for my entire life. I could die, but at the moment, I didn't care. I just wanted to feel the wind on my face.
The door opened, and all I could see was green. Luscious, vibrant green everywhere. My eyes adjusted to the light and I realized we were in a forest. The leaves rustled, the sky was blue and even the air tasted good. It was unbelievable.
Everyone was silent as Octavia walked towards the ground. She jumped down, and I held my breath.
'We're back, bitches!' Octavia yelled.
The others ran forward, cheering, but I held back. I waited until everyone had left the dropship before finally stepping out. I wanted to savour it, my first step on the surface. My feet touched the ground, one after the other and I knelt, pressing my palms into the dirt. I'd never felt anything like it and for a brief second, I fought not to cry. I ran my fingers on the trunk of a tree, touched the leaves and smelled the flowers. It was everything I'd dreamed of and more.
I took my time and explored my surroundings. Enjoyed the new smells and sights. But after a while, all I'd learnt with my books came back to the front of my mind and I knew I had to get to work.
I've got the theory, I thought. Time to put it in practice.
I needed to find water first. That was the priority. I came back to the camp, where I wasn't surprised to see everyone arguing. From what I could hear, Mount Weather was pretty far away. Which meant we had no food. A fight broke out between Wells Jaha and another delinquent but I didn't stick around. If we had no provisions, then water was even more important.
I walked into the woods and soon enough, I couldn't hear the others. Everything I'd learnt until now had been words on pages but I was surprised to see how well I adapted. In a matter of minutes, I'd found deer tracks that appeared to be a few days old. I followed them, hoping it would lead me to a water source.
Along the way, I looked for dry pieces of wood. If the food from Mount Weather wasn't available, we needed to hunt. And for that, I would need a bow. I knew how to make one, what sort of wood I needed and how to carve it. I just needed to find the right components.
With luck, the makeshift plastic one I'd had on the Ark had been enough practice and I would actually be able to shoot it. I could still remember the day my grandmother had brought it back to the cabin. She'd made it herself, and it had taken her months to find the parts. It had been ugly as hell but had done its job. I had done nothing but practice for almost a year.
Hours later, my search for water was fruitless but I'd found a piece of dry juniper that was the perfect length, thick at its centre and mostly free of knots. It was perfect. I couldn't believe my luck.
Taking it back to the drop ship was a pain, and it was sunset by the time I got there. I silently thanked whoever had put leather gloves in the pockets of my jacket. Probably my father. I wouldn't have to deal with blisters and splinters. I stored the wood in a quiet spot away from the other delinquents and went to find a piece of metal I could use as a knife. It wasn't hard, the drop ship had taken some heavy damage. It took me some time, but I eventually managed to craft a secure and dangerously sharp knife. I also found some thin nylon rope that would work perfectly for the bow. I went back to my spot and got to work.
For five hours, I carved, and cut, and polished. I only stopped when my arms were screaming with exhaustion. It wasn't done, not by any means, but I was happy with my progress. I leaned back against the trunk of a tree, resting for a few minutes.
'Hey there, Sunshine. Where did you disappear off to today?'
My eyes snapped open and I saw Bellamy, standing in front of me with a smirk on his face. After the drop ship had landed, I'd figured he would leave me alone, too busy with his sister. Apparently, I'd been wrong.
'That's none of your business. And why the hell did you call me Sunshine, anyway?'
'Because of your sunny complexion, what else. Seriously, Kane. Would it kill you to smile?'
'Would it kill you to leave me alone?'
'Seriously, where were you?'
I thought about ignoring him, but what was the point. It wasn't as if I had anything to hide.
'I was looking for a water source. I couldn't find anything though.'
Bellamy nodded and gestured at the unfinished bow.
'And this?'
'After it's finished, this is what's going to feed all of us.'
'Do you even know how to use it?'
I glared at him and he chuckled.
'Bellamy, was there something you wanted?' I asked, annoyed.
'Yeah, actually. I want you to take off that wristband.'
'What?'
He looked me in the eyes, and I realized that he was dead serious. I sprang to my feet, cradling my wrist protectively.
'What the hell, Bellamy? I'm not taking that off!'
'Why not? Everyone else is.'
A sense of dread filled me. I started running, ignoring Bellamy's calls. The others were gathered around a bonfire, cheering as Murphy and another boy I didn't know ripped the wristband off a girl's arm. I could see several wristbands burning in the fire.
I stared in horror as Bellamy caught up to me.
'You're killing us,' I whispered.
'No. I'm liberating us.'
I threw him the darkest look I could muster but he was staring at the fire, grinning.
'Alright, who's next?' he yelled.
'What the hell are you doing?' Wells yelled as he broke through the crowd.
'It's like I told Little Miss Sunshine over there,' Bellamy answered, gesturing at me. 'We're liberating ourselves. What does it look like?'
'It looks like you're trying to get us all killed! The communication system is dead. These wristbands are all we've got. Take them off and the Ark will think we're dying, that it's not safe to follow.
'That's the point, Chancellor. We can take care of ourselves. Can't we?'
The crowd cheered and I scoffed. Bellamy smirked at me in response, and I felt my blood boil.
'Think this is just a game?' Wells said. "Those aren't just our friends and our parents up there. They're our farmers, our doctors, our engineers. I don't care what he tells you. We won't survive here on our own. And besides, if it really is safe, how could you not want the rest of our people to come down?
Bellamy looked at Wells, his face calm. But in his eyes, I could see anger. And that scared me.
'My people already are down,' he said. 'Those people locked my people up. Those people…killed my mother for the crime of having a second child. Your father did that.'
So did mine, I thought. But I wasn't about to remind him of that.
'My father didn't write the laws.'
'No, he enforced them. But not anymore. Not here. Here, there are no laws. Here, we do whatever the hell we want, whenever the hell we want. Now, you don't have to like it, Wells. You can even try to stop it, change it, kill me. You know why? Whatever the hell we want.'
'Whatever the hell we want!' Murphy yelled.
The crowd started chanting, while Wells and Bellamy stared each other down. Meanwhile, my mind was working fast. It was no use trying to convince the others of keeping the bracelets. Bellamy knew how to work a crowd and he had them in the palm of his hand. What I could do, however, was be useful to them. If I finished my bow and brought back food, found a water source or taught them how to survive, they would realize they needed me. And that, hopefully, would make them listen. If I had to bribe them to make them keep the wristbands, I would. I wasn't a Kane for nothing.
I was so lost in thought, I almost didn't feel the rain on my face. Gasping, I raised my head and laughed. This was amazing. I knew I should be collecting it, but I couldn't care about anything at the moment, not when I'd dreamed of feeling the rain on my face for seventeen years.
Across the fire, Bellamy stared at me. I was a threat, the daughter of a man he hated but at that moment, watching me grinning in the rain, all he could do was smile.
Jesteś radością mojego życia, mały lis = You are the joy of my life, little fox.
