Chunky Monkey
I don't own anything you recognize.
Sorry this chapter is shorter, I just... um, thought the place I cut it off was the best place to.
To be really, truly honest, Mulch hadn't asked for this. He'd volunteered to go inform the Mud Boy, seeing as whenever he visited Fowl Manor he got as much food as he wanted (good food, too) and the Fowl boy knew how to treat a fellow felon. Things were fine up until after he'd broken in.
There was a girl, wrapped in a towel, screaming at him with all her might. His beard was practically curling at the repeating noises. As soon as she stopped screaming to breathe, Mulch waved both hands at her, frantically.
"Calm down now, today's not the day I want my ears to start bleeding."
She just ogled at him.
"So… can you get Artemis down here for me?"
She just stared at him, and after a few seconds she sucked in a big breath.
"There's no need for that, Caroline." Artemis was in the doorway leading from the Dining Room, slightly ruffled and out of breath.
"What is that… thing?" She jabbed the fork in her had at his general direction.
"He's a little person. Now don't be rude." Her eyebrows shot up at his evasive answer.
"Yeah, you might hurt my feelings."
She snorted, disbelieving, but decided that she best get out Artemis' business.
"Alright, I'll go back to bed, and when I wake up, this won't have happened."
Artemis closed his eyes and rubbed his temples a bit.
"Caroline, it's really not that healthy for you to sleep that much."
"Artemis," she started, looking him straight in the eyes, "your face isn't healthy." Out of the corner of their eyes, they saw Mulch's hand shoot up to cover his mouth. He obviously didn't expect the remark that followed.
"Caroline, please do homework or something."
"I finished all that already."
"Okay then, just run in place or something." You could tell that Artemis had started to take the 'babysitting duty' seriously.
"Artemis, who is that? I thought Minerva was your little girlfriend."
Artemis' face fell, while Caroline's lit up immediately. It was pretty incredible news.
"Artemis has a girlfriend?!"
"I know!"
"How'd he get the courage to look her in the eyes?"
"I don't know."
"I bet you she's fat."
Artemis had gotten very quiet. Caroline had judged it best to shut up, but she never listened to anyone, including herself. She wasn't even sure if he was angry, maybe just quiet. Mulch, on the other hand, laughed.
"She's got to be smart, though."
"Witty and chunky, nice." Mulch elbowed the girl, signaling her to be quiet.
"I'm Caroline, who're you?"
"I'm Mulch Diggums, little person." They laughed together. Artemis had just watched the exchange with uncanny attention.
"Mulch, you had news to tell me?" Artemis piped up after a couple of seconds.
"Oh, yes." Both men looked at Caroline, and she got the hint to leave.
"Alright, alright; I'm going to rummage around for some clothes." She left.
Artemis turned to Mulch.
"So what's so important that you had to come here and tell me?"
"Didn't Holly tell you?" Artemis thought back to the brief conversation he'd had with her.
"No."
"So you didn't know I was coming?"
"No."
"No wonder the Mud Girl was screaming."
They got down to business.
By the time they were over, Fowl Manor was in need of a good trip to the supermarket. Mulch had eaten everything in several refrigerators, besides the yogurt. Through the last bites of a hunk of Gouda cheese, Mulch posed an interesting question.
"So what about the Mud Girl?"
Artemis looked up from where he was sitting, rubbing his temples.
"What about her?
"What're you going to do with her?"
"We're going to have to bring her along." Mulch screwed up his face.
"Where's your communicator? Headquarters wants to talk to you." Artemis looked down to his hand and cursed mentally. He excused himself and went up to the study, where he picked up the pulsing ring. He turned it and put it up to his ear.
"Hello?"
"Mud Boy, there is no way in hell we're bringing another one of you down here." It was Holly, of course.
"Calm down Holly… Foaly, you've done a background check on Caroline I'm guessing?" There was a grunt.
"It's in the process."
They waited for a couple of seconds, which Artemis used to get back to Mulch.
"Okay; Caroline Victoire Edderstein. She was born on October sixth, 1993. The Daughter of a Pharmaceutical giant and a well-to-do author. That's not where the fortune comes from, though, her grandparents did very well for themselves in the diamond industry, and they invested very well.
"She's the second child of the family, her older brother named Wyatt, born in 1991."
Foaly paused, and then cleared his throat slightly uncomfortably.
"Death date of May 18th, 2006. Both of the children were kidnapped from JFK international airport on April 19th, 2006 on the way to Ireland for their spring break. They were held for around a month before the police finally found the apartment they were being held in. Upon entering, the police had seen two dead bodies and Caroline collapsed on the floor. The smell of decomposition and death made several members of the force puke upon entering. Caroline was barely alive when they carried her to the hospital."
Even Mulch had stopped eating and was sitting abnormally quietly.
"The dead bodies were Wyatt Edderstein and Allan Vahn, one of the kidnappers. Allan was more recently dead, showed signs of strangulation and had several lesions in his skull. The police assumed that the other kidnapper didn't want to split the ransom, but they never found out, as the second kidnapper never returned to the scene.
"Caroline has been prescribed with Lithium, Abilify, and several depression drugs. She refuses to take them, and her mother agrees with the sentiment.
"She's got exceptional grades and is speculated to have an I.Q. of around 145. She enjoys making people uncomfortable and takes comfort in being in control."
There was a heavy silence.
"I'll get her." Artemis' voice was almost a whisper. And it was final.
Edited 6.3.08
I'm so sorry for not updating.
I promise that I'll get something out soon.
