Chapter 33

"God?"

"Yes."

"You're God?"

"Yes."

"As in the God."

"Yes."

Dean stared at the vessel that was formerly Jacob and chuckled.

"Yeah right."

"You still doubt me?"

"Why would God take over an 80 year old man's body and hang out in a church out in the middle of Nowhere, Utah?"

Jacob looked around the small church with a wistful smile.

"It is quite peaceful here. I rather enjoy it."

Dean shook his head and laughed.

"This is bullshit."

Jacob looked quizzically at him. "What is?"

"There is no freaking way you're God."

"But I am God."

Dean folded his arms across his chest. "Alright then. Prove it."

Jacob arched an eyebrow at him and sighed.

"Very well."

Suddenly, a guitar rift cut through the air. Dean glanced down confused at his jacket pocket. He pulled out his cell phone and shot a confused look at Jacob who nodded patiently at him. Dean hit Send and held it to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Dean. It's Chuck."

"Chuck?" Dean actually held the phone away from himself and stared at it in complete puzzlement for a moment before putting it back to his ear. "Why are you calling me?"

He could tell Chuck was very nervous.

"Um, Dean… that's God you're talking to."

Dean almost dropped the phone.

"What?"

"You're talking to God right now."

Dean didn't know what to say. He stared open mouthed at Jacob who was waiting patiently.

"You're not serious."

"I wrote this chapter last night. You're talking to God. The man in front of you is God in Jacob's vessel."

Now Dean really didn't know what to say.

"Great. So… uh… now you know so I'm just going to hang up now. Um… yeah… bye, Dean."

Dean listened to Chuck hang up. He swallowed hard as he put his phone in his pocket.

"Now, do you believe me?"

Dean nervously moistened his lips with his dry tongue and forced a smile.

"Cute trick," he said with a weak laugh. "How'd you pull that off?"

Jacob sighed. "No trick, Dean."

Dean shook his head. He saw Jacob's face continue to stare calmly at him and his stomach began to knot up as the truth sank in.

"You…" Dean whispered as he began to tremble. "You're God…"

"Yes."

Dean looked down at the floor and could feel a mixture of emotions welling up inside of him. Tears began to form and he could no longer contain himself. He let out a scream of pure rage and lurched forward, hitting the old man in the face.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! You let my mother and my father die by demons! You let Sam drink demon blood! You let that yellow-eyed son of a bitch take him from me! You let me go to HELL!!! And then you let Castiel be raped and tortured and fall and you never did a DAMN THING! WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF GOD ARE YOU!?!?!?!"

Dean continued to scream and cry and pound on the old man with all his strength. God waited, patiently, quietly. Despite the beating he was taking no bruises or other injuries appeared. Dean's outburst lasted for several minutes before he collapsed to the floor in sobs. God knelt beside him silently and waited. Finally Dean looked up at him, his eyes full of anger mixed with grief.

"I hate you," Dean said weakly as he turned his face away.

God smiled gently and placed His hand on Dean's flushed cheek.

"And I love you, my son."

Another sob escaped Dean's throat and he shook his head.

"No, you don't."

"I love you very much, Dean. You are one of my children, how could I not love you?"

"I've done things… horrible things…"

"I know everything you have done, Dean. I have known you even before you were born to this Earth."

God smiled at Dean and Dean could feel a comforting warmth he had never felt before. But he was still full of confusion and pain that would not be soothed. Dean wrapped his arms around himself weakly.

"Why haven't you been there? Why have you been letting all these people get torn to shreds down here? How can you say you love me after everything you've let me go through?"

God sighed and settled Himself down on the floor next to Dean. He carefully wrapped His arms around the young man and pulled him against his chest.

"I am sorry, Dean. I am so sorry you have had to suffer so. I have never left you, though. I have always been watching you and have intervened whenever I could."

"But my mom and dad…"

"They made their own choices, Dean. You must understand that when I gave you humans the gift of freewill that it came with a price. When you make a choice you must live with the consequences of that choice. Your mother made the choice to make the deal with the demon and you have had to live with the consequences of her choice. Your father also made a choice to make his deal. That is freewill, Dean. Any intervention on my part would take that away."

Dean shook his head against God's chest.

"But Sam…"

"Sam continues to make his own choices. And you chose to make your deal to save him. It is all about what choices you make, Dean."

Dean gulped in a mouthful of air, trying to slow down the stuttering sobs that still escaped him.

"But Castiel…"

God's smile broadened.

"Ah, yes. Castiel. Truly one of my finest and most loyal soldiers."

"So… you're not angry at him? For doubting… and… and me and him…?"

God chuckled. "No, Dean. No, I understand the reasons for his doubting and am actually glad for it. Castiel knew that something was amiss. He knew it was not my order to allow Lucifer to be set free. And as for you and him… do you love him, Dean?"

The question was so simple and basic that Dean could scarcely believe it was actually God asking it.

"Yes."

"And he loves you. Deeply. Love is an incredible thing and there are so many kinds of love. There is love of your family. Love for your friends. And there is the love you and Castiel share. That kind of love can be an incredible thing when nurtured and allowed to grow. While it was not my original intent… I cannot deny my children the joy that kind of love brings."

Dean sat quietly for a moment as he absorbed God's words.

"Are you the same God Pastor Jim told me and Sam about?" Dean couldn't help but ask.

God's smile broadened.

"You were expecting a God who smites down humans for every transgression they commit? A God who expects nothing but unwavering faith and will cast out any who dare question Him?"

Dean shrugged. "Yeah, well, something like that."

"I love all of my children unwaveringly, no matter what their sins may be. While I desire their love in return, I understand that some are reluctant to give it. And I did not create humans to be perfect. You are beautiful creations that are each unique and special in your own way. And I see inside the hearts of all of you and know the truth of who you really are. I know those who truly deserve my wrath, and you and Castiel, do not."

Dean didn't know what to say, but he found himself starting to become calmer and more accepting of the situation.

"How long have you been Jacob?"

"From the moment you first met Me. Jacob's heart was failing when I came to him and he willing gave Me his vessel. All of you acted nobly in your actions to save him."

"So… you saw what happened… and when Sam took you to the hospital?"

"I played the necessary role."

"And you never told Castiel the truth."

"That wasn't the time to tell him."

Dean thought on that statement.

"So… can you help me find Castiel? And stop Lucifer? I mean… the angels told me I'm the only one who can stop him. I don't even know now if that's true or not. I just want Castiel back."

God nodded slowly and Dean couldn't help but notice the look of sadness in His eyes.

"Lucifer seeks to bring down mankind. He wants to show me that humans do not deserve my love. He believes that Castiel can help him with this."

Dean sat up and looked at God in the eyes.

"Tell me how to stop him. I'll do anything."

God studied Dean carefully and nodded slowly.

"Yes… I know you will, Dean. Tomorrow you will receive a phone call from Chuck the Prophet. He will tell you where to find Lucifer."

God stood up and walked up to the platform at the front of the church. Dean stood up, watching Him. From behind the pulpit God pulled out a silver sword with glowing blue inscriptions in the handle. He then came forward and handed it to Dean.

"This is the weapon that will be used to defeat him," God said solemnly. "Use it well."

Dean took the sword in his hand was surprised at how light it was. He looked back at God nervously.

"I have more questions," he said quietly.

God smiled. "And someday you will have eternity to ask them. But tonight you must return to your brother and prepare."

Dean opened his mouth to say something else when God reached forward and touched him on the forehead. Suddenly the church spun and faded from view. The next thing he realized he was sitting in the driver's seat of the Impala parked outside of Singer's Salvage Yard. He looked over and saw the sword lying on the seat next to him. Dean took a deep breath and grabbed the sword. He had to tell Sam and Bobby everything.

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I would like to go on record as saying that writing a conversation with God is HARD!!! *sigh*

Hope you enjoyed. More to come when I figure out what exactly I want to have happen next. Unfortunately, I need to come up with the filler material to get me to the next big event! So, as always, suggestions are VERY welcomed!