In This Chapter: We see, er, well, you'll see.
Hermione dreamt of her friends that night. The three of them were far, far away from everything that was happening to them now, and they were laughing and laughing. Hermione had never seen this place before. It seemed like it was in the middle of nowhere. Surrounded by trees and sunshine, there was a small cabin. It seemed as though Ron, Harry, and herself lived in this little place, straight out of a Disney movie. Hermione smiled to herself in spite of it all, and ran over to hug her friends.
Hermione woke up slowly, still trying to run towards her friends. When she realized where she was, her heart sank, she kept her eyes closed and tried to fall back into the wonderful dream, and then realized something:
"Malfoy! Malfoy wake up! We're going back to Hogwarts!"
Hermione's body hummed with excitement and fear. She knew that they were entering a different era. Draco was on their side. How would Ron and Harry take it? Would Draco be invited back to Grimwald place? It was all Harry's now, so it all depended how Harry took it.
Oh Harry! Hermione missed him and Ron so much it hurt her. But, deep inside, she felt she always connected better with Harry. She loved them both equally, but now she felt that Harry could sympathize with her, far better than Ron ever could.
It was like a complete heartache within her. She had never been away from her two best friends this long, and it hurt her more than even she could fully understand.
Hermione and Draco were saying their goodbyes. Lucius had taken his son away for a moment and was whispering quietly and intently with him for about ten minutes, shooting glances at Hermione every so often. It made her feel quite uncomfortable, but she played it off as coolly as possible, when inside she was just dying to go back to her school.
Draco kept shooting curious glances her way. Yahoo, they were going back to school, what was the big deal? But Draco didn't know, and really couldn't understand the bond between people like this. You just have to feel it for yourself.
After what seemed like ages, Lucius and Draco broke their conference with a handshake. Sometimes it amazed Hermione just how cold the Malfoy's seemed.
After the final goodbyes, and the general warning to his son from Malfoy senior, Draco and Hermione left the manor and apparated right outside the Hogwarts grounds.
Hermione gave an involuntary shudder. The castle radiated magical energy, and she was feeling like she just wanted to soak it all up at once.
"Home sweet home," Draco muttered. "Ready to hit the books?"
All Hermione could do was grin broadly. Hit the books? Hell no, she wanted to dive in face first.
On their walk up to the school, Hermione couldn't help but ask: "What did your father say to you before we left?"
Draco smirked. "Watch out for you and Potter," he replied. "He doesn't trust you, and with good reason."
"And he trusts you?" Hermione quirked an eyebrow.
"I'm his son. He's trained me to obey and be trustworthy. I'm the perfect little deatheater, remember?"
Hermione's stomach knotted a bit at the word deatheater. "We aren't really going to have to actually become one of them, will we?"
Draco stopped walking and turned to face Hermione. His expression was stony, and his tone was deathly serious. "That all depends," he said slowly. "On how far you're willing to go for what you believe in. What are you for, what do you believe in, Hermione?"
Hermione was a little taken aback by Draco's reply. "I don't know what I'm for," she admitted. "I know I'm against Voldemort-"
"I did not ask you what you were against. I know what you are against, but what are you for?" Draco actually looked angry. "You can't fight a war with nothing to believe in! Rage, and hate, they can only get you so far! They won't get you where you want to be, Hermione, it's time you grew up and realized that just because you're fighting against what you think is wrong you're going to get away from it alive. You need something to drive you, and if it's hate, then you're going to drive right into a ditch, or an Avada spell. You and Potter and whoever else may have survived the last years, but this is a new game, in fact, this is a whole new sport."
Hermione was quiet for a moment. Shell shocked at Draco's outburst. She suddenly felt like every doubt she had about the Slytherin boy vanish. Passion like that could not be faked.
:"I believe in freedom." She said quietly. "I believe in equality between the blood types. I believe in life, and magic, and unicorns and fairies…" Hermione trailed off uncertainly, wondering where her declaration of magic came from. "And most of all," she said, even more quietly, "I believe in love."
Draco smirked. He wasn't surprised at all about the Gryffindors declaration of love and equality. Draco did agree on freedom, however. His interests in this war were purely selfish, he was not, under any circumstances, becoming anyone's minion.
"That's a little better," He said with approval, and continued walking. "Always remember what your cause is. You'll need it in the dark times."
Hermione shivered and wrapped her arms around herself as she walked up the familiar grounds to the castle. She could see Hagrid off towards the other side and had to fight the urge to break into a full blown run towards the huge doors that led into her home.
Finally they reached the doors, and were surprised to see that Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Snape were there waiting for them.
"You heard?" Hermione asked. "I'm supposed to be Mrs. Draco Malfoy, I'm told, but that's only after I get an ugly tattoo. How has your year been going?"
McGonagall and Snape both frowned, but Dumbledore smiled wearily behind his beard. "Let's go somewhere a bit more privet and we'll all have a nice ling discussion." He said, and began to lead the four others to his chambers.
Hermione kept her eyes cast downward, not speaking or looking at anyone. Minerva and Severus were locked in a rushed and whispered discussion behind her, Dumbledore was humming a very cheerful tune and Draco was shifting his eyes from left to right to back to front, never letting any of them out of his gaze for long.
"Peppermint Humbug." Dumbledore said to the guardian of his office. With a quick bow the gargoyle leapt to the side, letting in the slightly odd party.
"Site down, sit down," Dumbledore told everyone. He conjured up extra chairs to accommodate his visitors and sat at his own desk, watching Hermione and Draco intently. "Now," he started when everyone was seated and comfortable. "We need to know the entire story. Let's start with you, Miss Granger, and start off from the last time you saw Harry and Ron."
Hermione began to talk about what had happened to her, which could only be summarized as a crazy chain of events. She told them about accidentally ending up in America and meeting Voldemort and seeing how the Malfoy's lived. Dumbledore and the rest of the faculty listened to her every word, asking about something or other every so often.
When she was finished, Dumbledore cleared his throat. "I see you certainly have had a colorful break from school. I hope that this term won't bore you too much. Your friends are sort of spread out around here. Ron and Jessica are at the village, as it is a Hogsmead weekend. I believe Harry has stayed in though. Lauren and Jared went to visit family for the day. I'm sure you'll be able to find Mr. Potter in your common room. You can go now if you please, we just need to have a few words with Mr. Malfoy." Dumbledore nodded his head to her, cluing her that their meeting was over.
"Good day, Headmaster," Hermione said politly. "Good day Professors." With that, she turned and left the office.
The professors, however, were not through with young Master Malfoy. After Hermione left, Draco could distinctly feel the temperature in the room drop, as if Snapes icy glare had frozen the air around him.
"This is certainly an odd twist of events, Mr. Malfoy," Dumbledore said, not unkindly. "Everything Miss Granger said, would you confirm it to be true?"
Draco of course nodded, unsure of where this was going. He looked at Snape and wondered why Hermione has spoken so freely in front of him, so openly every single on of their secrets and plans. Dumbledore saw this and said, "Miss Granger knows a few more things than you do, I'm afraid, but before we are able to tell you, we are going to need to know of your loyalty, and to whom it belongs. Do you have any ideas of how you could prove yourself?"
Draco looked at each professor in turn, quite unsure of what they were expecting him to do. "I don't know what I could tell you, Professor that would kill all doubts in your mind of my loyalties." He looked up into the aged professors boyish blue eyes.
"Perhaps you should start with telling us about yourself." The Headmaster suggested. "What are your ideals?"
"My ideals?" Draco snorted. "Well, if you are expecting me to proclaim my love for muggleborns and muggles and say that I am equal to them, I'm afraid I cannot make you happy, at least not honestly. I can tell you that I think that The Dark Lord is a deranged psychopath, and that my father, along with many formally highly respected purebloods, is insanely stupid to be serving a mad half-blood. My interests in this war are not virtuous. I'm not a virtuous man. You can lie all you want, to whoever you want, but never delude yourself. I don't think I'm a good person by any means, I am selfish and am about to be traitorous to my family. I would love to just step away from this entire thing and wipe my hands clean at the end, but I know that's not the way this works. When it comes down to choosing a side to fight for, and perhaps die for, I choose this side, because in the end, this side won't make me stay and serve someone who is lower than me. After this is over, this side will let me go and allow me the freedom I deserve as a Malfoy."
"No hero's among Malfoys," Snape was the first to speak after Draco's speech. Draco was slightly surprised to see his Potions professor with a small smirk. "I think that Mr. Malfoy is being honest with us, brutally so."
"I quite agree, Severus," Dumbledore said. "Mr. Malfoy, what are you willing to risk for your freedom?"
"Live free or die." Draco said simply. "Funny thing, my father taught me that."
"And what of Miss Granger?" McGonagall spoke up at last. "Does she trust you?"
"She trusted me enough to not kill her, although that took some convincing. Hermione is a very trusting person, which could prove to be a downfall amongst deatheaters." Draco replied. "But she is willing to give everything for her cause, and I respect her for that."
"That doesn't answer my question, Mr. Malfoy."
"Then I'm afraid I can't give you a satisfactory answer, Professor. I'm not sure what else I can tell you."
"I think that Miss Granger has a very level head on her shoulders, as much as it pains me to admit it. I think we can trust her to make a judgment like that herself." Snape looked at his colleagues who nodded in return.
"Very well then," Dumbledore said, clapping his hands. "I believe we have come to an agreement. Mister Malfoy, have you ever heard of a group called 'The Order of the Phoenix'?"
Once out into the empty hall, Hermione broke out into a run to her common room. Various portraits called out to her to mind herself and slow down, and she ran straight through the Bloody Baron at one time, but she didn't care, all she cared about was seeing her friends.
She skidded to a top in from of the portrait of the fat lady, her cheeks were tinged with pink and she was completely breathless. And then she remembered.
"Password?"
Hermione's heart broke when the fat lady asked for the password.
"I-I don't have it," Hermione admitted. "Surely you remember me! Hermione Granger? I've been in Gryffindor for six years! Can I please get in?"
"I'm sorry Miss Granger," The fat lady said, not looking sorry at all. "But no password, no entry, it's the rules around here, surely you knew that."
Hermione suddenly was filled with such an emotional surge, she banged on the Fat Lady's frame and yelled "Hello! Anyone in there? Harry! Harry it's Hermione! Let me in!"
Suddenly the portrait swung open and Harry was standing in from of her with his bright green eyes open as wide as saucers. He looked at her for a second, and that grabbed her in a tight hug, bringing her into the common room and letting the portrait close with a loud slam, the guardian of their house screeching all the way.
Hermione for her own part jumped on Harry and wrapped her arms securely around his neck. Harry stumbled backwards onto the floor and Hermione landing in an ungraceful heap on top of him, both still hugging each other as if their lives depending on it.
And it felt like it.
"Harry I've missed you," Hermione said nearly hysterically into his shoulder. "You don't know how much I've missed you and Ron."
"I think I do," Harry replied. "We felt it everyday, we had no idea you were even okay."
Hermione pulled away from Harry very slightly so that she could look at him. "I'm okay Harry," she said quietly.
Harry heard something in the way she said she was okay though, and of course that meant she wasn't. "But?" he prompted.
"But I'm tired." She said, quite wearily. "I'm just so tired of acting and playing a part, and not knowing who to trust, and not knowing where my life is taking me. I just don't know anymore, Harry, nothing makes sense."
"We'll talk." Harry Promised. "You picked a good day, every single person in the castle is down in the village, we have the whole day to talk."
Hermione looked terrified. Well, perhaps not terrified, but scared and confused, and that in itself terrified Harry. Hermione was never the confused one, never the one without answers, and here she was, expecting him to let her know what was going to happen, to tell her everything would be fine. Harry didn't know what to say.
They were close. Still holding on to one another, but able to look at each other as well. It was almost like they needed the closeness, or they'd fade away.
And then they were kissing. Neither one knew who was responsible, who leaned in first, but that didn't matter really, not at all. They were kissing, slowly at first, Hermione's lips trembling and Harry's would have blushed if they could. And like most things like this, the kiss intensified, Hermione parted her lips to allow Harry's tongue into her mouth, and she retaliated with her own, as though looking for the key to happiness within him.
After a short eternity, they broke apart, both gaping for air like fish out of water.
"Hermione, I'm so sor-" But Harry was cut short.
"I'm scared," Hermione interrupted him. "And I feel like I'm dying. I just want to feel something, anything…" She bit her lip. "Can we pretend everything is alright for a little while? Just for tonight?"
The hurt look in Hermione's eyes floored Harry. He understood the hurt, and he felt like he would do anything at that moment to make it go away.
"Of course," He reassured her, and kissed her lips again. "But only for tonight."
Silently he took Hermione's hand and led her up to the empty boy's dormitory and to his large four poster bed. They both knew nothing would get solved, but the need to feel alive was too great.
An hour later, a very naked Hermione was curled up with a very naked Harry in Harry's bed, feeling calmer than she had for months, maybe longer. Funny thing though, neither felt akward, no shame, no regrets.
"I'm glad it was you," Hermione said softly to Harry. "This was my first…well my first time, and I'm glad I got the chance to give it to my best friend."
"It was mine too," Harry said, not even blushing. "Lauren is very special to me, but you're…you're Hermione, I love you more than anything."
"I know this isn't real," Hermione said thoughtfully. "Neither one of us love the other in the way lovers do, but I love you, does that make sense? I love you but I'm not in love with you?"
"I feel the same," Harry grinned and kissed the top of her head. We can't make a habit out of this, however. This really was just for tonight."
"Agreed," Hermione said as she sat up and smiled at her friend. "Things are going to get crazy around here, but I think we can do it, we can do it if we face it together. Promise that you'll never shut me out, Harry. Promise?"
"I'll promise I'll try, as long as you promise to not let me." Harry grinned. "What can't we face if we're together?"
"Nothing," Hermione confirmed, and began to dress. "And now I think it's time to find our friends, and give Dumbledore another visit. It's time we took action, and I want a few more answers."
"That's the spirit." Harry laughed, rolling out of the bed and getting dressed himself. I'm sure we have quite a term ahead of us."
(A/N)
hides
And the Harry/Hermione shippers rejoice.
Heh. I am an evil sob, aren't I? Oh well, deal with it, it was meant to mean something, you'll just have to figure it out yourself J It has come to light, through JKR's website, that Molly Weasley is a Prewitt. Obviously this story was started long before we knew this, so for goodness sakes, keep your shirts on, it's not a big deal. All the pureblooded families seem to be related, and it's not like Hermione is marrying Ron, now is it? I simply picked the name Prewitt because it was mentioned in the first book that the Prewitts were one of the families that were killed off, so that's the story behind that.
I'm not sure what some of you expect about this in-character business. This is a Draco/Hermione romance fic, if you wanted to read something in character, I suggest you read the five lovely books by Ms. Rowling, as they are the only ones that can be said to be truly cannon, huh?
Now, for some references. "I know what you are against, but what are you for?" Draco's line comes directly from a line from the musical South Pacific. Emile asks Lt. Cable and Captain Bracket why they are in the war in the first place, after they ask him to help them spy on the Japanese during WWII. It's a great line, I think.
"And most of all, I believe in love." I don't know if they have a real copyright on it, but I got the general gist of that line from Moulin Rouge. 'Tis a great movie, and notice that I am a musical fanatic? Heh.
"What can't we face if we're together?" This is from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical. Hah, I crack myself up.
Until next time!
xoariel
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