I was sound asleep, enjoying one of my rare nightmare-free nights when Bellamy burst into my tent. I sat up, rubbing my eyes groggily. From the look on his face, he hadn't expected me to be there. Amara had agreed to let me bunk with her so I wouldn't have to go back to my old tent or even worse, to Bellamy's. Obviously, that was news to him.

'Bellamy? What's wrong?' I asked him, my voice hoarse from sleep.

'Have you seen Octavia?'

I thought about it. Now that he was mentioning it, I realized I hadn't seen her in a while. She hadn't been there when we searched the river and certainly not when we had built the flares.

'No,' I answered. 'She isn't here?'

'I searched everywhere. The last time I saw her, we were in the woods. She was going back to camp.'

I nodded and pulled on my boots, exiting the tent as I slipped on my jacket. Bellamy watched as I took my bow and secured my quiver on my back.

'You keep looking,' I said. 'I'll wake up the others.'

He nodded wordlessly and I made my way through camp, rousing people as gently as I could. None were happy to be woken up in the middle of the night, but one mention of Bellamy and they were on their feet. It was a wonder how loyal they were to him, even after what had happened the day before with the radio. We all gathered in front of the dropship, waiting for Bellamy. When he came back, he looked even more worried than before.

'Hey,' he said to the group as he put down the bag that contained most of our weaponry. 'Everybody, gather around and grab a weapon. My sister's been out there alone for twelve hours. Arm up. We're not coming back without her.'

I already had what I needed with my bow and the two knives I kept on me at all times. The others grabbed spears, hatchets and machetes and headed for the camp's gate, Jasper included. I was surprised to see him with us. Ever since he'd been captured by Grounders, he hadn't gone outside. But I supposed Octavia was reason enough to face his fears.

'We need a tracker,' Bellamy said to Clarke and me.

'What am I, chopped liver?' I answered, slightly insulted.

Bellamy rolled his eyes, clearly unamused.

'I need you focused on the Grounders. You're the only one who can use a ranged weapon. Finn can handle the tracking.'

I had to agree. Even though the others had started carving bows after I taught them how, they weren't even close to knowing how to shoot. For now, I had to admit Bellamy's logic had sense. We were going to venture straight in Grounder territory and the odds of our trip going without trouble were slim at best.

'Finn, get out here!' Bellamy called.

We waited for him, but after a minute without answer, Bellamy grew impatient.

'Finn, we're leaving!' he said loudly.

'All right, I'm coming!' came his answer from within the tent.

I walked to the head of the group, intending to scout ahead when I heard people start to shout in wonder.

'Look up there!'

'It's so bright!'

I looked up, and saw hundreds of bright lights falling from the sky, high above our heads. But they weren't shooting stars. They were bodies, the bodies of the three hundred people that had been sacrificed on the Ark. It was sad, horrifying even, but that wasn't the worst part.

'They didn't work,' Raven said as she joined us. 'They didn't see the flares.'

Which meant the Ark still didn't know we were alive. I forced myself to stay calm. Raven was trying to repair the radio, so we still had a chance of contacting them. Until then, there was no need to panic.

'A meteor shower tells you that?' Bellamy asked.

'It's not a meteor shower, it's a funeral,' Clarke answered darkly. 'Hundreds of bodies being returned to Earth from the Ark. This is what it looks like from the other side. They didn't get our message.'

Raven, furious, lunged at Bellamy.

'This is all because of you!' she yelled.

Clarke and Finn held her arms, stopping her.

'I helped you find the radio!' Bellamy protested.

'Yeah, after you jacked it from my pod and trashed it!'

'He knows,' Clarke told her. 'Now he has to live with it.'

Once again, I was tempted to tell them the truth. But everyone was watching us and I wasn't sure people would like to hear what I had to say. So I stayed quiet.

'All I know is my sister is out there and I'm gonna find her', Bellamy said. 'You coming or what?'

'Yeah,' Finn answered.

'Then what are we waiting for? Move out!'

I walked ahead of the others so my vision wouldn't be impaired by their torches. We were tense, hands gripping our weapons tightly, as ready as we could be for a Grounder attack. But as the hours passed, we didn't see anyone. Some of the others relaxed, but Finn, Jasper, Bellamy and I didn't. We had seen what Grounders were capable of with Jasper and we weren't about to underestimate them. Especially not when Octavia might be in their hands.

We had retraced Octavia's steps as best we could and had spread out, looking for clues as to what happened to her, when Mbege called out.

'Look! Over here!'

We ran to him and he pointed at some bushes in the middle of a steep slope. There was definitely something there, but from that distance, I couldn't see what it was.

'Rope,' Bellamy ordered.

'What are you doing?' Finn asked.

'I need the rope to get back up.'

Or further down, I thought.

He got down to the bushes and seized what looked like a piece of cloth.

'It's hers!' he said. 'We're going all the way down.'

The others hesitated but I grabbed the rope, carefully but quickly making my way to the bottom of the slope. I joined Bellamy, who was down on his knees.

'What is it?'

He didn't answer but showed me his hand. There was blood on his fingers and as I looked closer, I could see a stone covered in it on the ground.

'It's not dry,' Bellamy said with a hollow voice.

'If it's hers, that means she was here not long ago,' I told him. 'And there isn't much. She's hurt, but alive.'

We were joined by Jasper and Finn.

'Someone was here,' Finn said. He pointed at tracks behind him.

'Probably a man,' I said, studying the foot prints. 'They're huge.'

'The prints are deeper going that way,' Finn added. 'He was carrying her.'

'If they took her, she's alive,' Jasper said. 'Like when they took me.'

Bellamy looked at us and his faced hardened. We all got up and followed the tracks in tense silence. I was focused on my footing, so when Bellamy suddenly seized my wrist and stopped me, I looked at him, surprised. He was staring ahead, a horrified expression on his face. And as I turned to look as well, I understood why.

There were dozens of skeletons, strung up from the trees. Some of them had parts missing: an arm, several ribs, a foot… One was cut in half. I took a step back, my hand gripping my bow so hard my fingers hurt.

'I don't speak Grounder,' Finn said,' but I'm pretty sure this means keep out.'

'Go back if you want,' Bellamy said as whispers broke out among the group. 'My sister, my responsibility.'

He started walking without even looking at the skeletons.

'I'd walk into hell to find her,' Jasper said.

'I think we just did,' Finn said as the three of us followed Bellamy.

Most of the others went back to camp, but Monroe, Roma, Mbege and Diggs accompanied us. We walked as the sun rose, slowly tinting the forest in golden tones. Had I not been so worried for my life, I would have marvelled at the beauty of it all. As it was, I was much more concerned about surviving the day.

And if I was tense, I wondered what Bellamy was feeling. That was his sister out there, injured, perhaps dead. He hadn't said a word since we'd come across the skeletons and just went wherever Finn led us, staring straight ahead. And at the pace he was going, I was worried one of us would drop from exhaustion before we could find Octavia. I accelerated until I was walking next to him. He didn't even glance my way.

'You have to slow down,' I said, keenly aware that he'd said the exact same thing to me when we were looking for Charlotte just days before. 'I know you're scared, but at this rate, we'll be too tired to fight if we come across Grounders.'

'Octavia's out there,' Bellamy retorted.

'I know. That's exactly why you need to slow down. It's not just about the Grounders. If we go too fast, Finn might lose the trail.'

Bellamy's eyes met mine and I could have cried at the pain and fear I saw in them. Without thinking, I grabbed his hand and held it tight. He stared at me, surprised, and I let go.

'We'll find her,' I said, trying to ignore the tingling sensation from where my skin had touched his. 'I promise.'

He nodded wordlessly and slowed his pace. The others didn't say anything but from Jasper's sigh of relief, I guessed they were grateful.

Unfortunately, my promise looked like it was going to be hard to keep. Around mid-morning, Finn couldn't find any tracks or prints. We spread out but couldn't find anything.

'I got nothing,' Finn said. 'We lost the trail.'

'Keep looking,' Bellamy answered. 'Y/N, you too.'

'It's no use,' I said. 'We need to go back.'

'Wandering aimlessly isn't the way to find your sister,' Finn agreed. 'We should backtrack.'

'I'm not going back!' Bellamy argued.

I was about to insist when Roma interrupted me.

'Hey, where's John?' she asked.

We turned around. Mbege wasn't with us. But it made no sense, I had just seen him.

'I just saw him a second ago,' Jasper said.

'Spread out,' Bellamy ordered. 'He couldn't have gotten that far.'

I had barely taken a step when I heard a loud thud. I whirled around and saw a body on the ground between Diggs and Monroe. We ran to them and I inhaled sharply at the sight. I had never liked John Mbege. He had been one of Murphy's friend and one of the few who had wanted Charlotte to hang. But no one deserved to die like this. His eyes were open, still staring ahead in complete surprise, and I shivered.

'They use the trees,' Finn realized.

I nocked an arrow, not drawing the string but I wanted to be ready.

'We shouldn't have crossed the boundary,' Diggs said.

'Now, can we go back?' Roma asked.

Suddenly, I saw a dark shape move about fifty yards away.

'There,' Jasper gasped. 'Right there.'

Grounders were surrounding us, and I drew the string. I aimed at one of them but I didn't want to shoot until they attacked. Maybe they were just trying to scare us.

'We should run', Finn whispered.

Bellamy nodded and we took off as fast as we could. The Grounders chased us, unrelenting and we headed deeper into the woods. We were actually going away from camp but that was the only way that wasn't blocked by a Grounder.

'I can't run much longer!' Jasper gasped as he slowed down.

'I'm not stopping for him!' Diggs protested.

'I'm sick of running anyway,' Bellamy said, stopping.

'Hey, what are you doing?' Finn asked.

'They know where she is.'

I shook my head frantically.

'You don't know that!' I said. 'And even if they do, what makes you think they'll tell us? Bellamy, please, I don't want to die.'

He looked at me and there was some hesitation in his eyes. But I knew it wouldn't be enough. His worry for Octavia made him blind.

'Diggs!' Roma called. 'Where are you?'

He yelled her name and she ran after him. We followed her and heard her scream. Before we could reach her, she ran away, panicked. And as I joined the others, I understood why. Diggs was dead, three spikes impaled in his body. God, they were picking us off like flies.

'They're leading us here,' Jasper realized. 'It's the only direction we can run in.'

'Where'd they go?' Finn asked.

We looked around but there was no sign of the Grounder. Which could mean only one thing.

'After Roma,' Bellamy answered darkly.

We ran after her, following her footprints. Monroe spotted her first, leaning against a tree.

'There she is. Roma!'

'Easy,' Finn said.

We approached and I swallowed a scream as I saw she was dead, impaled to the tree with a spear.

'They're playing with us,' Finn said.

Bellamy closed her eyes, looking guilty.

'She only came because of me.'

'They can kill us whenever they want,' Finn added.

'Then they should,' Jasper said. He looked around with a dark expression on his face. And then, he started screaming. 'Get it over with! Come on! We know you're out there! You wanna kill us?'

Finn and Bellamy tried to restrain him but he kept yelling and before long, Grounders appeared everywhere. One of them was running straight for us. I drew my bow, aiming at his chest.

'Stop!' I yelled. But he kept running and, almost as if I had lost control of my body, my fingers let go of the string. I watched the arrow fly, hypnotized. And I watched in horror as it sunk deeply into the Grounder's chest.

He collapsed, unmoving and everything stopped. Myself, the others, the Grounders. For a second, we all watched the body. I was waiting for him to rise and attack again. I hadn't killed him. I couldn't have.

One of the Grounder let out a scream of rage and they all ran towards us, but suddenly, the sound of a horn blew in the distance. They fled without hesitating but I barely registered it, still staring at the body.

'That horn,' Jasper began. 'What does it mean?'

'Acid fog,' Finn answered.

'We have to run,' Monroe said.

'There's no time.'

Finn pulled a tent out of his pack and laid it on the ground. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Monroe, Jasper and himself disappear under it. But I couldn't move.

'Y/N, come on!' Bellamy said.

'I killed him,' I whispered. I wanted to throw up. In a haze, I took a step towards the body. Bellamy pulled me back and turned me around. He cupped my face between his hands.

'You did what you had to do. He didn't give you a choice.'

'But…he would have left,' I said, voice weak. 'Like the others.'

My breathing sped up and I heard Finn call us, but his voice sounded distorted. I tried to look at the body again but Bellamy tightened his hold and pulled me towards the tent. I didn't fight it and he led me inside. It was a tight fit and I ended up pressed between Bellamy and Finn. The fog was coming but at that point, I couldn't have cared less. I sobbed, horrified at what I'd done.

Bellamy pulled me against him and I buried my head in the crook of his neck, eyes squeezed shut.

'Breathe, Y/N,' he said. 'Just breathe. It's okay. You're all right, Sunshine.'

I knew I was on the edge of a breakdown. I had killed someone. So what if he had attacked us, what if Grounders had killed three of our people today? It didn't change the cold, hard fact that I had blood on my hands.

Eventually, I pulled away from Bellamy and offered him a tight smile, the best I could do at the moment to thank him.

'How long are we supposed to wait?' Jasper asked.

'Will this even work?'

'We'll find out,' Finn answered.

'No, we won't,' Bellamy said.

He stuck his head out, followed by the rest of us.

'There's no fog,' he said. I wiped the tears of my cheeks and got up, looking around. The body was still there and I averted my eyes.

'Maybe it was a false alarm,' Finn wondered.

Suddenly, we saw a Grounder. He was running, about a hundred yards away, thankfully not towards us.

'They're coming back,' Bellamy said.

'No, I think he's alone,' Jasper protested.

'Now can we run?' Monroe asked.

The Grounder was still running, getting further away with each second.

'He doesn't see us,' Bellamy realized. 'I'm going after him.'

'Right now?' Finn whispered. 'And then what? Kill him?'

No, I thought almost violently. The disgust must have shown on my face because Bellamy gave me a sympathetic smile.

'No. We catch him,' he answered and my relief almost overwhelmed me. That feeling quickly changed when Bellamy kept going. 'And make him tell me where Octavia is, then kill him.'

He started walking towards the Grounder and I followed. I would have argued, but from the look on his face, it would be no use. Discreetly, we followed the Grounder through the forest. It wasn't long until he stopped. He knelt and pushed some sort of crate covered with moss away. He disappeared under it. We waited a few seconds and followed. Bellamy jumped down first and extended his arm to help me. Once we were all inside, I realized we were in a network of caves that was carefully hidden. I hoped the Grounder was alone and we hadn't stupidly walked in their secret hideout.

We heard rattling come from the right and we headed that way, carefully. Bellamy had his hatchet firmly in hand but I couldn't even touch my bow, the memory of the man I'd killed too fresh in my mind.

We entered a cave that was bigger than the others and to our surprise, saw Octavia, chained up to the wall, next to the unconscious Grounder.

'Octavia!' Bellamy called as he ran to her.

'Give me the key!' she said desperately.

'Monroe! Watch the entrance,' Bellamy ordered.

He finally managed to free Octavia and pulled her up in a tight embrace.

'It's okay,' he said. 'You're okay.'

She was limping and had an ugly head wound but despite that, she seemed all right.

'How did you find me?' she asked as she hugged me, then Jasper.

'I followed him,' he answered, gesturing to the Grounder.

'We should go,' she said. 'Now, before he wakes up.'

'He's not going to wake up,' Bellamy answered darkly.

He took a spear that was resting against a wall and stalked to the Grounder.

'Bellamy, stop!' Octavia protested. 'He didn't hurt me, let's just go.'

'They started this.'

'No!' I said, gripping his arm. 'You don't want to do this. Trust me.'

He shook me off, eyes wild with rage.

'Finn, move!' he ordered.

Finn had knelt beside the Grounder and had a horn in his hands. The one, I realized, that had blown when the Grounders were attacking us.

Suddenly, the Grounder jumped up and stabbed Finn before any of us could react. He tripped Bellamy and got up as Octavia knelt next to Finn. I grabbed the Grounder's arm as he attacked Bellamy and he shoved me away. I crashed to the wall, my head smacking painfully against the stone and I saw stars for a few seconds. The Grounder took Bellamy's spear away from and held it to his throat. I took one of my knives and struck him in his back, trying to shove it as deeply as I could. I didn't want to kill him, but I didn't have a choice.

Screaming in pain and anger, he struck me across the face and the sheer strength of the blow had my ears ringing. I collapsed, feeling the right side of my face start to bruise immediately. There was blood in my mouth and I was pretty sure I had a concussion but I couldn't care less, not when the Grounder had gripped the spear again and was about to impale Bellamy.

'Stop!' Octavia screamed. 'That's my brother!'

The Grounder didn't relent, and Bellamy's face contorted with the effort of keeping the point of the spear away from his neck. I tried to get up but my head was spinning and I couldn't even rise to my knees. Suddenly, Jasper struck the Grounder in the head with a metal pole and the man collapsed, unconscious once more.

We all breathed a sigh of relief, but that didn't last long. Finn was barely conscious, the knife still lodged in his chest, his skin so pale it was almost translucid.

'We have to get him to camp,' Jasper said frantically.

Bellamy and him each took an arm, carefully lifting Finn up. He grunted from the pain, his head lolling on his shoulders. I tried to get up but my head spun and I collapsed once more. I wanted to throw up and my head was killing me.

'Y/N?' Bellamy asked. 'You okay?'

I nodded, immediately regretting it when the nausea rose. Unable to control myself, I threw up. Octavia limped to me and held my hair. When I was sure I was done, she pulled me away. She looked at my head, carefully lifting my hair and I winced when her fingers brushed against a wound I hadn't even realized was there.

'Shit,' she cursed. 'Bell, that doesn't look good.'

'Neither does Finn,' Jasper said. 'Should we take out the knife?'

'No, leave it,' Bellamy answered firmly. 'Monroe!'

She came back running and I wondered how she hadn't heard the commotion. Her eyes widened at the sight but she immediately sprang to action. She helped Bellamy and Jasper with Finn, as Octavia got me upright. My head was pounding but I could walk. My only problem was balance. The entire world was spinning and it seemed to go even faster when I moved. As for Octavia, she was limping heavily.

We quickly found a way to help each other, using the other's body as a crutch. Like this, we moved remarkably quickly for two people who couldn't stay upright on their own.

We left the Grounder behind, alive to my relief. Getting out of the caves was tricky but we managed and thankfully, the place where Octavia had been held wasn't too far from camp. We only walked for a couple hours but it seemed to be forever. My headache only grew as time passed. I couldn't recognize the woods, even though I knew I had been there several times. And God, I was so tired.

'Y/N, you have to stay awake,' Octavia said.

I forced my eyes open, wincing at the light.

'I'm fine,' I tried to say. But from the face she made, I wasn't exactly comprehensible.

When we finally reached camp, I was so relieved I could have cried. Jasper started yelling for Clarke and I winced as the sound made my headache even worse.

She ran to us, looking worriedly at Octavia and me. And although the both of us certainly needed medical care, we weren't the priority.

'It's Finn,' I mumbled.

Bellamy and Monroe came through the gates, carrying an unconscious Finn. Clarke's face paled considerably and she ran to him.

'He's alive,' she said after feeling his pulse.

'Bellamy wouldn't let me take the knife out,' Jasper explained.

'No, that was a good call. Get him into the dropship. Now! Go!'

I watched as Finn was carried off, hoping against all odds he would make it out okay. I stumbled and Octavia almost fell trying to catch me. Clarke, seeing it, ran to us.

'Are you okay?'

'I'm fine,' Octavia answered. 'Y/N was hit in the head.'

'I'm okay. Just focus on Finn.'

'Jasper!' Clarke called. 'Help them into the drop ship. Get them water and do not let Y/N fall asleep.'

Jasper took one of my arm and looped it around his shoulder. He reached out to help Octavia as well but she shook her head, heading for Bellamy. Jasper helped me into the dropship and sat me down against the wall. I winced at the pain in my head and tried to breathe evenly, hoping it would help with the nausea. I had no doubt I would be okay. It would be a painful and uncomfortable path to recovery but in a few days, I would be right as rain.

As I watched Finn get lowered on the table, however, I realized he might not be so lucky. His survival was now entirely in Clarke's hands.