Hello to all my reviewing chickadees! Sorry if I offended any of you last chapter, but that's just me being crazy. By the way, I have updated my profile if you want to have a look at it... Anyway, here you go! Please review!

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-Bella and Rosalie's home: 7:38 AM- BPOV

I sighed and rolled over in my bed happily, still half asleep. Well, that was until I remembered yesterday. And what was going to happen today. My eyes widened as I heard Rose's footsteps coming lightly up the stairs, as almost as though she was trying to- oh- to sneak up on me!!!

I shut my eyes quickly and resumed a sleeping position just as soon as Rosalie entered the room. "Bella?" she called softly. I remained 'asleep.' I was SO going to get out of shopping today. And there is nothing Rosalie can do about it. I want to live past my next birthday without being bruised morally by unjust, horrible shopping trips.

All my hopes then vanished when I heard who was next to Rose. "Bella? Please wake up or we shall have to resort to brute force!"

'Alice?' I thought. 'What was she doing here so early in the morning?' I was not a morning person. I decided the only way to get out of shopping was to pretend to be fatally sick. But, the fact is- I am sick. Sick of shopping, to be more accurate.

Fortunately, I was spared from having to resort to this pathetic act, when Alice started to speak. "You know, Rosalie, she may be in a coma from all that shopping yesterday!"

Yes, I thought. Brilliant! Yeeha!

"Because she is so fashionably uncoordinated, she probably is exhausted from all that creativity!" Alice finished.

Rose is never going to buy this, I thought glumly. I am doomed to a life of high heels.

But, I was surprised to hear that Rosie was buying it. "Yeh, Alice," she said thoughtfully, as though pondering on something very important.

I felt Rose sit on the end of my bed and heard Alice's tiny footsteps echo out of the room. "It's OK, Isabella," she said faintly, "you'll be alright. The doctor is on her way very soon. She'll make you all better, Bella."

Why was she acting like this? I mean, Rosie should be able to tell that I'm faking...

My thoughts were interrupted by a stern knock on my door. I could tell Rosalie broke into a smile as she answered it. I heard the doctor's light footsteps edge towards my bedside.

"So, Doctor Cullen, how is she?" Rosalie asked, putting on an English accent.

"Fine, Miss Rosalie. Well, that is, if we administrator the right cure to her. There is only one cure available. And, by the way, please call me Alice."

I fumed silently when I recognised Alice's voice. They were making fun of me!

"Alright, Alice. Do you need any help with anything?"

"Yes, Miss Rosalie. Could you please pass me the- the, um... that thing!"

Rose passed it to her. I felt something being pressed against my forehead, then being jabbed all over my body. I had to repress an 'ow!'

"Hmm..." Alice pondered. Rosalie asked what was wrong with me and she answered, "she has a severe case of..." but I couldn't catch the rest.

"Hmm..." Rosie said, and I heard her come over to the other side of my bed.

"Bella," Alice said. "I am afraid to inform you.... that.... you have a major case of.... UN-SHOPPING ITIS AND IF WE DON'T CURE IT RIGHT AWAY YOU WOULD DIE ON US AND I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO ORGANISE A FUNERAL!!!!" I gritted my teeth as she ended this speech with a bubbly laugh.

Then, suddenly, Rose and Alice both simultaneously jumped on my bed and drew the covers back- and when I thought it couldn't possibly get any worse Rosalie laughed.

I froze with terror. This was bad. And before I could even do anything about it Rosalie poured a huge bucket of ice-cold water on my head.

I just lay there, shivering. Alice skipped over to Rosalie's room and turned up her radio. So, I was freezing and bruised with loud music in my ears. But I remained on my bed. Alice muttered, "we did warn you." And I was picked up by the two girls and taken into Rose's room.

That was when I 'woke up.' I struggled and pushed, but, even though Rosalie succumbed, Alice had a grip of utter steel- and I was dressed like a paper doll and shoved into Alice's car, which was yellow. I didn't know the brand- nor did I care.

Alice clicked the keys and we drove off towards the fiery pit of hell that was known to everyone else as the Mall.

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10000 years later (the diary of Bella)

I will not describe to you my awful day at the so-called 'mall.' I have literally wiped every ounce of disgusting memory from my mind, every item of clothing that Alice bought- gone. Outta there. History.

2 minutes later

Eww. Alice went so overboard with the hair. I can feel it- gross. It's all metallic and weird.

One minute later

I like things natural. Diot or whatever it's called- is so not natural at all. But I'm not thinking about shopping now.

6 minutes later

I wonder when Alice and Rose will come to drag me to their so-called 'makeup saloon.' I remember I nearly wet myself laughing when Rose announced they were setting up a saloon at home. In the bathroom.

30 seconds later

Hang on a minute- Rose and I share a bathroom!

1 minute later

Grrr... So that's why they're not coming in and mentally disabling me with needless pieces of information like 'Did you know, Bella, shopping was originated in 6100BC, when ancient cavewomen set up stalls selling their coconuts to other ancient cavewomen?'

4 minutes later

I don't need to know stuff like that!

2 minutes later

Totally mindless information.

6 seconds later

Not worthy of even a chipmunk.

10 minutes later

Oh oh. Is that Alice's voice? She sounds devious...

10 seconds later

Like she's planning something!

16 seconds later

Her voice is coming closer.... AND CLOSER!

20 minutes later

Um... Hi, brain. Sorry not to be in touch for so long- I had to emotionally detach myself so that I wouldn't commit suicide before Alice wrestled me into the makeup chair.

12 seconds later

I am now in the makeup chair, and Alice is twanging away at my hair while Rosie is prancing around the room saying annoying things like, "Beauty is pain, Bella.... We wouldn't do this if we thought you didn't like it..."

1 minute later

What in the world makes her think I like this? I have done everything possible to make sure she knows I DO NOT LIKE IT. What do I need to do, stick a sign on my head in permanent marker:

I DO NOT LIKE SHOPPING OR MAKE UP- END OF STORY.

Sounds simple enough.

6 minutes later

But with Rosalie, you never know.

One minute later

God, she even has to have a personality-changing device. But I can't blame her. Not with her past.

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Please review and tell me what you think!

Alana xxoo

PS: I will update in this week if I get enough reviews!