~Chapter Sixteen~

"But...but you're dead. I saw it...I felt it. YOU DIED IN MY ARMS!" Rosa scrambled to the other side of the bed, "What kind of sick joke is this?"

She jumped from the hospital bed as he approached, "Hey, Rosa. It's okay," he gently grabbed her hand and pressed it to his chest, "You feel that? I'm not dead," he pulled her against him and brushed his fingers through her hair, "shh, I'm not dead. It's alright."

Rosa hadn't realized she was crying until she felt his thumbs brush away the tears, "Baby, look at me. Whatever you thought happened, it was just a nightmare. I'm right here."

Her fingers gripped his shirt, wrinkling it under the force of her hands as he slowly rocked her back and forth, murmuring words of comfort. He felt warm. He felt real, but something wasn't right. This wasn't right.

"No," she said as she pushed him away. The Johnathan she knew was dead. She remembered his death like it was yesterday.

...

Rosa grabbed her bag from the backseat and rushed to her unit. They were huddled around the wounded, they had pulled him from out in the open and were hiding behind a flipped Humvee.

"Italy, do something!" Ace yelled. Normally the nickname bothered her but right now she didn't care. She was focused on her work. A nearby explosion rattled the vehicle and she did her best to still her shaking hands.

"Get me something to stop the bleeding with!"

"Italy, you better hurry it up, they're right on our asses!"

She put pressure on the wound and tied the cloth around it as tightly as she could.

"Stevens, you're gonna be fine. I need you to be brave. This is going to hurt but if you don't wanna lose your leg, or your life, then you have to work through the pain okay? Can you do that for us?"

Stevens nodded. "D'Ambrosio, I don't think I like Afghanistan much." He choked out a laugh and Rosa gave him a sad smile.

"Mills, Booker, get your asses over here and help Stevens back to the M99 and don't get shot in the process."

Booker grinned at her, "Well, Damn Italy, you ruin all the fun!"

Rosa smacked his arm, "Get your ass moving before I shoot you too."

"Yes, Ma'am!"

The grinned sunk off her face as she watched them carry Stevens back to their truck. She tried to shake the horrible feeling that they weren't all going to make it out of there...at least not in one piece. She was jarred from her thoughts as an IED went off to her right. The blast knocked her back and she rolled to her stomach coughing. She heard Ace beside her, "That was a little closer than I'd like."

She grabbed his arm and they were off, running as fast they could with their gear weighing them down, "You know just how to get a girl's blood pumping, don't you Ace?"

Beside her Ace choked out a dark laugh, "Only you, sweetheart."

Rosa rolled her eyes as they jumped into the M99, "Drive, Ace."

...

The sounds of the MRI thrummed in her ears. She wasn't sure what was more crazy that Johnathan was alive and she was in Boston, or that she was the daughter of a Valar, middle earth was real and she believed it. The loud clanking sound continued as she looked into the mirror above her. She could feel Johnathan's hand holding hers, and see him whispering to Jane. They thought she was crazy.

Maybe I am crazy.

"We're almost done," Jane said with what Rosa assumed was supposed to be a reassuring smile. Rosa kept still until she was completely out of the machine and gave a small smile and nod before slipping off the table.

"Do I have to wait for the results? I think I want to go back to my apartment."

"You should really stay-

Johnathan gave her a pointed look, "I can look after her, Jane. Call if you need her to come back?"

Jane sighed, "Alright, get some rest Rosa."

When they guided her from the room Rosa tried to act the way they expected her to, but she was exhausted from all the poking and prodding. She almost felt guilty for all her former patients, but this is different, she thought to herself.

I'm not sick and I'm not crazy...am I?

"Rosa?"

She turned towards Johnathan, "Huh?"

"I said, are you ready to go?"

He held his hand out towards her and everything inside her felt cold. This wasn't real. This couldn't be real.


"We cannot leave now," Boromir shouted at Théoden, "she won't survive it!"

The guard stepped forward, "Mind your tongue, Steward's son, you're speaking to the King."

Boromir fumed, pacing the room, "I don't care who-

Aragorn grabbed Boromir's arm, "Boromir, go."

"What you can't honestly think I'll let him-

"GO! Go check on Rosa, you're not helping here," he said sternly. Aragorn sighed as the door slammed behind Boromir. Théoden turned towards Aragorn, "I understand your concern for the girl, but I cannot sacrifice the safety of my people for one girl. No matter who she is."

Aragorn nodded and watched Théoden walk towards the door, "We will not leave until morning, I suggest you do everything in your power to break her fever before then."

...

Boromir watched her chest rise and fall, his hand gripping hers tightly. Her dark hair was plastered to the side of her face, sweat beads rolling across her flushed skin. He tried to control the fear in his chest as he watched her suffer. He could feel her hand occasionally tighten its hold on his and she would mumble incoherently before going limp once more.

"Rosa," he whispered, wiping the sweat from her face, "wake up."

Boromir brushed his lips gently across her forehead and readjusted the blankets. He had never felt such concern, nor want to constantly be near a woman. Before his only concerns were for his brother and his city. His mind told him that he just felt guilty because he had fought with her before she fell ill, but his heart spoke differently.


"Rosa," she turned and groaned against the pillow, "wake up."

No, I don't want to. She gripped the pillow tighter as the words echoed in her ears. That voice. She shot up in bed, "Boromir?"

She heard someone shift in the bed beside her and looked down. Johnathan rolled towards her, "Did you say something?"

"No, Ace," she said coldly. She stood from the bed and walked to her shower. She didn't bother taking her pajamas off as she stepped into the shower. She turned on the cold water and stood beneath the spray, silently crying as Johnathan slept in the other room.

Months ago she would have given anything for this very thing to be happening. For Johnathan to be alive, for everything that had happened with them leading up to his death to be different.

...

"Johnathan?" Rosa gasped, she couldn't believe her eyes.

He jumped from the bed, "Rosa?! What are you doing here?"

She stumbled back from the doorway and ran from the apartment. She had come home early and of all the things she expected to find, Johnathan in bed with her best friend was not one of them. Rosa looked down at her ring finger, at the beautiful diamond ring that Johnathan had placed on her finger just months earlier. It was all a lie.

Rosa tore the ring from her finger and threw it down that hall. Then slammed the front door behind her as she ran down the stairs. What had she been thinking? She knew that Johnathan was popular with the women. God, she knew it all from the start. Did she think things would be different because they served together? They would be deployed again soon, how was she going to face him?

The tears poured down her cheeks as she ran without thought.

"Rosa! Rosa wait!"

She spun around, the anger boiling over her hurt, "Wait for what, Johnathan? For you to come up with some excuse as to why you were FUCKING my BEST FRIEND?!"

Her fist connected with his face and he stumbled backwards, "Rosa, please."

"Fuck off, Ace."


"I'm driving!" he shouted back at her and the truck lurched forward as he did a 180 and they drove back to base camp. They were halfway there when she said it, "Ace wai-

The explosion flipped the truck and she tried to keep focused as the ringing in her ears died down. Rosa crawled out from under the truck, "Is everyone okay? Stevens? Booker?"

"Aye, D'Ambrosio, over here," she heard Mills call. Her eyes darted around, "Where's Ace?"

"Ace?!"

She scrambled to her feet and spun about until she spotted him, nearly ten yards away. She ran over to him, her hands on either sides of his face, "Ace! Ace, can you hear me?"

"No need to shout, Italy," he croaked, "I'm right here."

Rosa frowned, "Not funny."

"I thought so," he coughed violently and groaned as the motion bent his body forward. Rosa glanced down, "Ah Fuck, Ace. Don't move."

There was shrapnel littering the side of his body, a particularly large piece in his chest. The light from the flames allowed her to see his face but it was still too dark for her to tell if it had punctured a lung. It didn't look good. "Okay, Ace," she started, "I need you to look at me. Stay awake."

"I'm sorry."

Rosa flipped open her bag, "You can apologize for your crappy driving later, Ace. I need to get you patched up."

"Not," he jerked forward into another coughing fit, "what I'm talking about, Rosa."

Rosa paused, he only called her by her name when he was serious, "Johnathan, hush."

"NO," he groaned, "We both know I'm not making it out of this and I need you to know. I'm sorry, Rosa. It was the worst mistake of my life. I love you."

"Dammit, Johnathan, shut up and let me take care of you."

His bloody fingers caressed her cheek, "Tell me you forgive me, Rosa."

She grabbed his hand and squeezed tight, "You're not going to die, Ace."

But they both knew that was a lie.

...

Rosa turned off the cold water and sunk to the floor, her arms hugging her legs close to her chest. She had always thought it was her fault. She should have said something sooner. She shouldn't have let him waste his breath, she could have saved him...she could have saved them all.

The tears slowly stopped and she rested her head against the wall. The cold shower had done some good; she no longer felt like she was a 400 degree oven. Rosa wiped the tears from her face and took off the soaked shirt. She had just managed to wrap a towel around herself when Johnathan stumbled in.

"Hope you didn't steal all the hot water," he said with his crooked smile. Rosa shook her head and walked from the bathroom. Before she would have had a witty comeback, but now she was just struggling to keep herself together.

"Rosa, you alright?"

She turned back and stared at him for a long moment before remembering to smile, "Just didn't sleep well, is all."

Johnathan nodded and started to shut the door but paused and said, "Hey Babe, where did you get that necklace?"

"What necklace?" Rosa looked down to see the bright crystal necklace that Elrond had given her. Her mind reeled with what it meant, and for the first time since she woke up in that hospital days ago, she genuinely smiled, "It was a gift."


Boromir rose from his seat by Rosa's side and practically ran from the room. It didn't take long for him to find Aragorn, who had just left to get more medicine for Rosa, "Aragorn!" he shouted, coming to a skidding hault beside him, "Her fever has broken."

Aragorn gaped, "Are you sure?"

After a raised eyebrow and an are-you-serious? look, the two of them dashed back down the hall to Rosa's room. Aragorn went right to her side, feeling her face to confirm what Boromir had told him. Despite the good news, Aragorn frowned, "Tell Eowyn to gather her things, we leave at dawn and I'm afraid she shows no signs of waking before then."

Boromir nodded and he was back in motion, his memory tracing the halls as he searched for Eowyn. His heart thundered in his chest, and not from the running.

She's getting better. She'll live.

He spun around a corner and nearly ran straight into Raenir. Boromir paused only for a moment, the urgency of his task overcoming his distaste for the man in front of him. He thought back to the festival and cringed. Would she still be angry at him when she woke?

He swore to whatever gods above were watching, if she lived he would do everything in his power to apologize to her. To make her understand why he had behaved that way.


"Rosa, where are you going?" Johnathan asked as he watched a hurried Rosa, wiggle herself into her pants. She was nearly giddy with the knowledge that she wasn't crazy. It was real. Boromir was real. Rosa smiled to herself and grabbed her coat as she dashed from the apartment, "The library," she called back at him.

To say that Rosa went a little over the speed limit would be an understatement. She was on high alert as she sped down the roads to the Library. She swerved into the parking lot and leapt from her car. Taking the steps to the front door two at a time.

Rosa stopped at the front door. This wasn't the Boston she knew. It looked the same, felt the same, but Johnathan was alive. She shook her head. No, this is a dream...or one of Melkor's tricks.

"I know who I am," Rosa whispered to herself. She had denied it all this time but she could feel it. She had proof. The book, the necklace, Hell! I even glow when the stars are out!

...Merilwen...

Rosa spun around. She knew that voice, "Varda?"

She stumbled down the last of the steps, ignoring the strange looks from people who saw her talking to herself. Rosa managed to make it to her car before her world went white.

...

The dense forest around Rosa stretched towards the sky, blocking out the sunlight, which was quickly falling. Lush green trees and bushes surrounded her and she slowly got to her feet. As she weaved her way forward through the trees she found an opening, there was a small pond in front of her and the eerily still water reminded her of the mirror that had showed Rosa her past. It was quiet and peaceful, something Rosa direly needed with all the turmoil the past days had brought her, but it was also vaguely familiar.

"Rosalva, lost one, come to me."

Rosa looked into the distance trying to find the source the voice. After walking a ways she found a woman in white, her arms open wide to her. When Rosa got closer she notice that she was no mere woman, she was glowing with an ethereal light and was too beautiful for words.

"Merilwen, its okay. You're safe now. You're home." The woman was beautiful, she had long auburn hair, and bright blue eyes. She wore a sparkling white dress that flowed gracefully as she walked. She smiled at Rosa, "My little peredhil, you must be brave. Do not run from your destiny. I have not left you, my tinu."

Once Rosa was enclosed in her embrace, she looked up at the woman, "Mama?"

Varda smiled, "Yes, Merilwen...Rosa."

Rosa furrowed her brows, "I...had a dream like this."

Varda laughed, "No, not a dream."

"So...it was real?"

Varda pulled away and walked towards the pond at the center of the grove, "Do you remember what Melkor showed you? About your past...about the curse."

Rosa shifted from side to side, "Yes, but I'm not sure I understand. If you are...well you, and my father was an elf, then how am I human?"

Varda sighed as she knelt next to the water, her fingers trailing through the unmoving surface, "You must understand, Melkor is very powerful. But he is arrogant and quick to anger. He has always used his powers to twist the nature of beings. He changed elves into the monsters that you know...into Orcs. So too, did he wish to change you.

His curse would take away your immortality and your abilities from your valar half. It would force you to a cycle of life and death as a mortal, but he knew if he kept you in this world that I would find you."

Varda looked back a Rosa, a sad smile on her face, "So he sent you away."

"But how did I return? Those notes...how did I find them?"

A smile grin lifted Varda's face, "Eru took pity on me, as you saw. But what you did not see, is what Melkor did not know. After Eru parted with the book, I spent many thousands of years in planning. As Melkor is distracted with his war on Eru's children, I spoke with Olórin. You may know him as Mithrandir...or Gandalf."

Rosa gasped, "So he knew?! He knew and he didn't tell me?"

Varda shook her head, "I did not tell him everything, but the words you spoke to return to this world were sent by him," Varda stood and looked up at the sky, "We do not have much longer. I did not bring you here to tell you this. Come."

Rosa took her hand and Varda guided her to the edge of the water, "Tell me what you see."

The water rippled and what once held Rosa's reflection shifted. It was her apartment in Boston, she sat beside Johnathan, her engagement ring still on her finger, but there was also a wedding band. Johnathan smiled and his hand moved to Rosa's stomach, caressing the small baby bump that was forming. Rosa could feel the tears brimming, it was the life she had wanted before she caught Johnathan cheating. The life she thought she was going to have.

"You can have this life," Varda whispered, her voice tinged with pain, "You can have everything that you had wanted."

"But?" Rosa asked, tearing her eyes away from the happy image in the water.

"You must forget your time in Middle Earth and everything that you have learned of your past. You will live out this cycle and be born again."

Rosa took a deep breath, she could not deny that some part of her would be happy with the life portrayed before her. More than happy.

"And if I do not choose this?"

Varda smiled, "You can stay in Middle Earth."

"And?" Rosa asked, knowing full well that there was a downside.

"You will forget your knowledge of that world. You will no longer know the future events of this journey you are on, nor have the skills you learned in that world."

Rosa looked back into the water. Everything she had ever wanted.

But do I still want that?

Rosa sat in the grass. She would be taken away from the fighting and madness that was Middle Earth. She wouldn't argue with Boromir, or be scolded by Aragorn. She could wear high heels and jeans again. No more corsets. Johnathan would be alive. No more guilt. No more pain. No more Boromir.

Rosa's chest tightened with pain as she stood, tears now pouring down her cheeks, "I've made my decision."