Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!
- M.F.


~Chapter Seventeen~

The stars were brightly shinning above the hidden grove, their light reflecting across the surface of the pond. The images of her possible life had faded from it's surface and Rosa felt an emptiness at their loss. She had never been so sure of a decision in her life, but at the same time she had never made such a painful choice. Rosa knew she would always miss him. His taunting manor and loving touch.

Rosa laughed bitterly, "The heart wants what it wants."

Varda walked forward with the ethereal grace that Rosa had come to expect from her. Her shimmering gown, trailing in the lively green grass. Her hands brushed the tears from her cheeks, "Do not regret your decision, Merilwen."

Rosa smiled sadly, "I won't."

Varda smiled at Rosa, leaning forward and resting her forehead against Rosa's. Rosa opened her eyes to see herself, she was in a room full of mirrors. Startled at first, she quickly remembered this room in a dream. She turned the room, seeing each life she had lived, each burden they represented, each struggle she must overcome to rid herself of this curse.

In the tallest mirror Rosa stood tall and proud, her dark hair cascading down her neck and shoulders in an elaborate style and her face caked with makeup. Her clothing was from the Victorian era. Rosa stepped forward, placing her hand against the mirror, her reflection following. As her fingers touched the mirror, Rosa could remember each moment in that life she lived. From losing her first tooth, to having her first crush. Then it flashed forward to the moment before she died. Rosa saw her regrets and fears. She had not made the choices closest to her heart, but followed what was expected of her.

"Be true," her reflection whispered.

The next mirror was plain, speckled with the dirt and dust of time, just as the woman it reflected. She wasted away, with dirt covering her body and chains around her wrists. Her hair barely hung past her ears and she wore the ragged clothing of an Egyptian slave.

Again Rosa touched the mirror, events and emotions filling her mind. This Rosa had died young. She had a strong soul and defiant will, but was captured nonetheless. Most of her memories were of pain and loss, and Rosa's heart wept for the life she had lived. Her reflection looked up at her, tears brimming her eyes, "Be free."

Rosa wavered in front of the last mirror. It was cracked and the frame was broken, Rosa was afraid that the memories would be the same. She locked eyes with the warrior as her fingers brushed the cool surface. Rosa saw the woman fight battles, and caress lovers, each version of this woman held a fire and passion. Yet when Rosa pulled away from the mirror and looked a the warrior, her hair pulled back into multiple braids, armor covering her sun kissed skin and black eyeliner surrounding her eyes, she did not have that passion. She was broken like the mirror. Her weapon laid shattered beside her as she knelt on the ground, a blade against her throat, "Be strong."

Rosa turned looking at each woman in the mirrors. They watched her with sadness in their eyes. Her mind was spinning and her thoughts couldn't be contained. Each a past life, each a point in the cycle of her curse.

When Varda stepped away Rosa felt oddly calm. Her mind was searching to remember something, but she knew not what.

"Merilwen," she glanced up at the stars once more, "Hurry! It is time for you to leave. Go, child, return to your home."

Rosa smiled at the thought. Home.


Boromir gripped the reigns tightly as Rosa slept against his chest. They had been on the trail for many hours yet still she slept. Part of him hoped she would continue to do so until they reached Helm's Deep. He did not want to face her wrath if she woke to find herself riding a horse and in his arms. However, he had volunteered to do it and would not let his anxiety at her feelings sway him from it. Boromir did not trust her safety with any other, except perhaps Aragorn or Legolas. Gimli could hardly manage to stay on the horse, let alone carry a woman as well, else Boromir would include him on that list.

It had been a long journey getting this far, a journey he had not thought they would survive, but seeing Gandalf again had given him hope for the future. The fact that they were all still alive was miracle enough. Boromir sighed, resting his chin on Rosa's head. The wind picked up and blew her hair across his face, it's silky dark tresses tickled his face before the wind died down again. Her hair carried the scent of wildflowers, and Boromir was amazed at how it retained its smell with all the horses around.

"It's true you don't see many Dwarf women. And in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance, haha that they're often mistaken for Dwarf men."

"That is no surprise," Boromir muttered, and slightly ahead of him he heard Legolas stifle a laugh.

"And this, in turn, has given rise to the belief that there are no Dwarf women. And that dwarves just spring out of holes in the ground! Which is of course ridiculous...whoa!"

Boromir jerked his horse to the left as Gimli tumbled by. Rosa shifted in his lap, her lips parting as she groaned and whispered his name. Boromir stiffened in the saddle, "Rosa?"

She turned again in his arms but showed no further signs of consciousness. He relaxed into the saddle once more, but the feeling of dread only grew the longer she stayed asleep. He'd heard a few stories of soldiers who'd taken a hit to their head and once they fell asleep they never woke again. Other's had woken with no memory. His heart clenched at the thought. What if she did awaken and didn't remember him?

He tried not to read into the alarm he felt at that. He shifted in the saddle and her head fell back onto his shoulder. He could feel her warm breath on his neck and tried to distract himself from it. Boromir thought back to when they'd first met. She'd been wandering the gardens just as he was, but he had spotted her from a ways away.

Boromir slipped from the Great hall and out to the gardens. It was beautiful, that he couldn't deny, but he was out of place in it's otherworldly beauty. He had grown up in the white city of Gondor, he learned of honor and duty swiftly as he fought to protect her pearly walls. Here the nature outweighed the architecture, and it matched the elves that lived there. With their stunning, but cold beauty. They were lithe and proud creatures. Boromir was the epitome of the bull in a china shop. He stood tall with broad shoulders, a wall of muscle, honed with experience a much training. He was unshaven from travels, and his hair hung loose just above his shoulders. All of it culminating in the perfect representation of how different humans were to elves, yet no less impressive.

He enjoyed the silence of the garden, until it was interrupted by another stumbling in, "Wow, this would put the botanical gardens to shame."

Boromir lifted his eyebrow, stumbling? Not an elf then. He walked around the corner to be faced with a breathtaking sight. She turned in circles, slowly making her way towards him. He smiled at how easy it was to observe her with the show she put on. Her raven hair was long and styled like the elves', but didn't match their length, and was much thicker, falling in waves down her back. She wore a dress of elven make, but filled it out much more than they, he noted with a cheeky grin.

Boromir stopped in the middle of the pathway, watching with amusement as she tumbled into his chest. Perhaps it would have been kinder to make his presence known in a more polite manner, but he wished to see how she would react.

"Oof...oh," she stepped back, "goodness, I'm sorry," and looked upward to meet his eyes. He thought a spark of recognition ignited in her eyes, but then shook his mind of that thought. He would certainly remember having met a beauty such as her.

In her stunned state, he took the chance to admire her features up close. Her eyes were a dark greyish blue, her mouth not too wide with full lips, Boromir grinned, kissable lips. His smile faltered as she took another step back, he was not surprised, he did realize how intimidating a sight he was, yet was disappointed nonetheless, "It is no trouble, I should have paid more attention to where I was walking. I suppose I was too busy admiring the beauty in front of me."

Her smile lit up her face, it was bright and welcoming and Boromir decided her warm nature and luscious curves were far more appealing than the otherworldly beauty of elves, "I am Boromir," he said bowing.

"My name is Rosa," she said, her voice warm like honey now that she was comfortable and he never wanted it to stop. He no longer minded the interruption of his silence. Instead he held his arm out for her so they could walk together.

Boromir shook his head, it was such a pleasant encounter. Quite the opposite of their next meeting, though he did find some amusement in it.

He'd been happy to see her at first. She walked into the room, the picture of innocence, until her eyes laid upon his imposing figure. Then her features jumped to life, filled with mischief. She sauntered towards him, and he began to frown. By now he had hear of her attempts to sway Gandalf and Aragorn to take her to the council and he would have none of it. If it wasn't enough that this meeting was between the three races, and that Elrond was allowing a hobbit, of all things, into the council, but he would not suffer the consequences of allowing a woman to join him. Not that he thought women stupid, no indeed. He had met plenty a clever wench, trying to tempt him so they could capture him in a marriage. No, he had no interest in that.

"Boromir, fancy meeting you here," she grinned, stepping so close that her arm brushed his.

"No."

She frowned, "But you haven't even given me a chance to ask anything."

He sighed, "And I do not intend to."

When he turned to leave, her hands latched onto his arm. A glance over his shoulder told him that it would not be easy to deter her from this train of thought. She pressed herself closer, so close he could feel her bosom firmly against him. He gaze lowered to her eyes, but he doubted she even realized how close she was. All he could see was the sheer determination that motivated her.

"I promise I won't be a bother. I don't even have to say anything. I just want to be there. So you'll let me go, right?"

"No."

She sighed, taking a step back, which Boromir was extremely grateful for, "You're not even considering it."

"And why should I?"

Rosa smiled again, "Because you like me? I'm great company, I promise."

He raised an eyebrow at her, "Oh, not like that! Well...no. No, nevermind that. I just want to be there, what is SO wrong with that?"

Boromir was hard-pressed to not smile at this woman, she had a fun energy about her, but intelligence too. If her looks weren't luring enough, add in her personality and you would have yourself a very dangerous situation. Falling love was not an option. Boromir almost scoffed at the thought, "Everything," he grumbled, "I don't even want to think about how you found out about the meeting, which was intended to be a secret, but I have no intention of being the one to explain to Elrond why someone who was not invited to it, is there. So go find something else to do with your time."

He stalked from the room, highly aware of Rosa trailing behind him. She stuck with him for twenty minutes, not saying a word, just being his silent companion. Boromir would be lying if he said no part of him enjoyed her presence, but it would not be long before his irritation would being to show. She was persistent, he would give her that.

"I've already given you my answer. What more do you want from me?"

Rosa looked up at him, staying silent. After a moment longer she gave him a small smile, "See? I can be quiet."

Boromir sighed, "That's what this was about, woman?"

She frown at him, folding her arms across her chest, which only served to raise and draw further attention to her ample bosom. Boromir clenched his jaw, what was wrong with him? He turned away again.

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"Your please could be equal to the sight of an troll, or that of an elf and I would still say no."

"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"I do not like cherries."

"What?! That's- not important. Pleeeeaaaaase?"

"Begging does not become you."

"I'm not begging. I'm asking with fervor."

"Stop."

"Oh COME ON! Is Elrond going to murder you if you bring me?"

Boromir chuckled, "Doubtful, but why risk it?"

Rosa frowned at him again. His smile widened, "You irritate me."

"Good! I'll stop if you agree. I won't say a single word to you again."

"I doubt I would be so lucky."

She gaped at him, mock offended, "You wound me," her smile fell, "I know this meeting is of great importance and I can't tell you how, but it is imperative that I be there."

Boromir paused, honestly giving thought to her request for the first time for the near hour that she had been pleading with him. What could be so important for her to need to be there? He did not know her, but he knew she was not from Gondor, he would have recognized a woman of importance.

"So you'll take me with you?"

His patience snapped, "NO. Now leave me be!"

"Okay, okay..."

...

Boromir watched as Eowyn spoke with Aragorn. He almost felt pity for the young girl, her affection towards Aragorn was plain to see, but could never be returned. He wondered if she would still feel the same if she knew how much older Aragorn was than she. Eowyn looked to be a few years younger than his brother, Faramir.

As Gamling and Háma rode by, Boromir was drawn from his thoughts. They rode on to the front, "What is it? Háma?"

"I'm not sure."

Now on high alert, Boromir turned towards Legolas, looking to his heightened senses for guidance. A warg scout leapt over the slope, the massive beast taking Háma in it's jaws. The warg tossed Háma's body to side, turning its attention on Gamling. As Legolas moved to intervene, Boromir turned towards the back, he and Aragorn warning the others of the incoming wargs. He tightened his hold on Rosa as the horse picked up speed.

Gimli swung his axe down against the leg of a warg, it flew over him and knocked into the side of Boromir's horse, tossing him and Rosa to the ground. When Boromir rolled to his feet he sucked in a deep breath. She was gone.