So I've never written the other three mains before, so I hope they're not too ooc. It'll probably get better later on in the chapter once I get used to them. Thanks for your patience!
Oh, and, since I only know a couple words I've picked up from various fanfics, I'm using google translate for the French translations. Sorry if any of it is wrong.
Also, to you DragonLCC, thanks for the review and ideas! I swear, they're so good, so keep them coming! And I don't mind that you were rambling, we all do sometimes. ;3
Holy crap I'm referencing my own bloody fanfic before you guys have even read that scene. What have I come to.
Anyways, I swear I'm going to use your ideas, I just got this idea and was all like 'MUST! WRITE!' because when I get an idea for writing, that's what I do. And, heaven forbid, if I'm somewhere like in PE *cough cough recently cough cough* and I get an idea then I was start freaking jumping up and down, waving my arms and screaming to my friends (my poor friends, what did I ever do to deserve you guys) 'I MUST WRITE THIS DOWN! NOW!'
Anyways, I'll cut this author's note off here, but I have a couple more things to say so they'll be another note at the bottom.
Three-fourths of the Revolutionary Dream Team, as they were dubbed by the others, rushed off the gangplank of the ship onto American soil for the first time in five months.
"It is so nice to be back here," Lafayette said, words dripping with his French accent.
"Sure is," John agreed, smiling widely. "C'mon, we gotta go over to Alex's and bombard him with our glorious presence!"
"Definitely," Hercules said, shifting his grip on his bags.
They quickly got a carriage set to go to Alex's apartment and arrived buzzing in excitement at seeing the fourth part of them. However no one answered when they knocked.
"Alex, it's us!" John called.
"That could mean literally anyone, John," Hercules reminded him.
"Ya, but he can tell our voices apart from others," John argued.
"Do not forget that the door muffles us," Lafayette pointed out. John folded his arms, having set his bags down to knock.
"Fine, whatever. Anyways, we have this," John said, smirking as he withdrew a key from his pocket.
"If you had that why did you knock?" Hercules asked.
"It's called manners," John said, walking in.
"Bonjour, mon petit lion!" Lafayette called. (Hello, my little lion!)
"Alex? Where are you?" he asked himself as he peeked into his room.
"Guys, the stove is pretty dusty, it hasn't been used lately," Hercules shouted.
"He doesn't do much cooking," John said, waving it off. "He must've been going to cafes or something."
"Oui, but explain this: there is no ink, quills or parchments here at all," Lafayette said. (Yes)
"That is pretty concerning," John admitted reluctantly. "I'll go into his office and ask where he is."
"We're coming too!" Hercules demanded.
"Mkay, but drop your stuff off here. He wouldn't mind," John said, shrugging. It didn't really matter who came with to find out where Alex was, so long as they found out in his eyes. They got a carriage and had them go to the White House, jumping out once they arrived. Hercules paid the driver and caught up with the other two, Lafayette taking long and purposeful strides that John and Hercules had to rush to keep up with.
"Good evening, sir," they all greeted once they got admitted into Washington's office.
"Good evening boys," Washington said, smiling.
"Have you any clue where Alex might be, mon ami?" Lafayette asked. (My friend)
"He's been staying over at Jefferson's lately-" they all exchanged confused looks before looking back at Washington, who'd started to smile faintly "-so I'd either check there or in his office."
"Merci," Lafayette says distractedly, frowning, deep in thought. (Thanks)
"Why'd he be over there?" John thought aloud as they walked over to Jefferson's house.
"Thought they were enemies," Hercules said thoughtfully.
"Well, there is only one way to find out," Lafayette cried, speeding up. He decided that they were close enough that they didn't need to get a carriage, and John and Hercules had to hurry to keep up.
"Slow down, tu merde," John said as he jogged every few steps to keep up, feeling a bit like a child trying to keep up with his parents. (You shit)
"Non," Lafayette laughed. (No)
Lafayette was, of course, the first to reach the door. John was just a few steps behind Hercules, who were both slightly out of breath. Laf knocked and a few seconds later Jefferson answered it, a small, slightly tentative smile on his face which quickly grew bigger.
"Alex, no worries, it's just Herc, Laf and John!" he called. John did a double take at Jefferson using shortened versions of the other two's first names.
"Guys, you're back!" Alex greeted, running over to them. "How are you?"
"Toi, alors?" Lafayette said, smiling widely. (Great, you?)
"Aussi bien que je peux être," Alex said, smile falling a fraction before returning. (As good as I can be)
Laf and John shot him confused looks, while Hercules was completely in the dark as he only knew a few basic terms in French.
"Anyways, mind if we come in?" John asked.
"Oh, ya, ya, course!" Alex said. Jefferson grinned a bit as Alex waved them in.
"Oh, by the way, we swung by your place and left our stuff there. Locked it back up though," Hercules said as he walked past Alex and Jefferson.
"S'all cool," Alex assured them. "You sure you locked it though?"
"I watched John do it myself," Lafayette promised.
Alex nodded before looking up to Jefferson. "Should I get something around or-" he let the sentence hang, smirking as Jefferson shook his head violently.
"Like I said, you've burnt water before," he said.
"That was one time, and it was only because I wasn't watching!" Alex protested. "Besides, you're nearly as bad as me."
The three friends looked on at this strange sight - Alex and Jefferson were arguing, yes, but rather they were arguing playfully. Their words held no bite.
"I can cook," Lafayette offered.
"No, you're a guest!" Jefferson insisted. "We'll figure something out. We've made do so far anyways."
"We just have to follow the recipe," Alex said. "That means no experimenting. It'll be fine just the way it is without your tinkering."
They both laughed and went off to the kitchen, leaving the other three to settle in and puzzle over all this. Laughter rang through to the sitting room as they sat down on the couch.
"So, what do you make of it?" John asked.
"If it were anyone else I might say that they have made up, but this is Alex and Jefferson that we are talking about. Two of the most têtu et fier men on Earth," Lafayette commented. (Stubborn and prideful)
"Oh you little shit!" they could hear Jefferson laugh. "Oh, I am so going to kill you for this!"
None of them could hear malice lacing those words.
"They're teasing each other," Hercules mused.
"I'm going to go get our stuff, if anyone wants to help," John said abruptly, standing up. He was really only going to be alone, Lafayette could tell that much, and was just asking to be polite.
"We will tell them where you have gone, mon ami," he promised. (My friend)
Hercules picked up on what his Lafayette was trying to tell him without actually saying it and said, "we'll be here when you get back - if the house hasn't burned down by then." He added the last half of the sentence with a smile on his face and John snorted.
"Well, see you in no more than twenty minutes," John said before leaving. Alex came in a few seconds later, concern alight in his eyes.
"I thought I heard the door open?" he asked.
"John's gone back to get our stuff. Did you want him to grab anything of yours?" Hercules asked.
"Nah, that's fine. Just wanted to know," Alex said, shrugging it off before going back into the kitchen.
"He never used to be that worried about the coming and going of people," Lafayette pondered. "Yet now he is coming at the sound of the door opening."
"He's probably just in a different environment?" Hercules tried.
"Non, that is not it. Remember when he went to your house for the first time? He was not concerned in the least about it," Lafayette pointed out. (No)
Hercules couldn't come up with anything for that.
"Hey, food's done," Jefferson called.
Hercules checked the clock on the wall and, seeing that John would still be a few more minutes, shouted back, "John should be back pretty quickly, if you want to wait for him."
"Do you want to wait for him?" Alex asked, eyes lighting up with amusement.
"Not particularly," Hercules admitted shamelessly. "But I thought I should ask anyways."
"I imagine that ship food is pretty crappy," Alex said,
"Tasted like merde," Lafayette laughed. (Shit)
They all laughed about that for a few seconds before a quick knock sounded against the door. Alex's nervous glance towards Jefferson did not go unnoticed, and neither did his comforting look of reassurance back. It opened to reveal John carrying several bags and bending over to pick up a fourth, which he'd set down to grab the handle and Alex let out an inaudible sigh of relief.
"Hey, there are more bags in the carriage, if anyone wants to help out," John panted, letting the bags fall with a thump to the floor to the side of the door.
"No, I think I'll just sit here and watch you labor endlessly," Hercules laughed before getting up to go get his own bags. Alex chewed on his lip unhappily for a second before following with a rather forced laugh.
This didn't go unnoticed either.
"Well, because John already brought my bags in as well as his, I can help get the food out onto the table," Lafayette offered, eager to see what the two worst chefs in the world had managed to concoct.
"If you insist, though you're still a guest," Jefferson said after a moment's thought.
"America will not be making me lazy, war or no," Lafayette said determinedly.
"Ok," Jefferson said reluctantly. Lafayette marched off towards his office.
"Wrong way," Jefferson called. Lafayette's laughter announced that he'd most likely found his bed.
"Mon ami, pourquoi?" Lafayette managed to get out. (My friend, why?)
"It was convenient," Jefferson said, "but that's besides the point. Kitchen's this way."
Lafayette walked in, undeterred by his mix-up.
"Tell me what to do," he ordered, clasping his hands together.
"Well, you can take some of that out," he replied, pointing to a counter with multiple platters on them.
"Génial," Lafayette said, grabbing a plate and balancing it on his arm. He then grabbed two more, unable to maneuver a fourth onto his other arm. (Great)
"No, wait, they'll-" Jefferson broke off as the one on his arm fell "-fall."
"To be fair, only un fell," Lafayette commented. (One)
"Still," Jefferson fake-whined. Lafayette laughed, used to Jefferson's teasing as he'd known him for a bit before.
"Oh, tais-toi," Lafayette grumbled good-naturedly. (Shut up)
"Rude," Jefferson said, punching Lafayette lightly in the arm.
"Watch out, I'll drop these too," Lafayette threatened.
"Ok, ok," Jefferson said, holding his hands up in defeat. Lafayette flashed him a grin and walked out to the dining room, which he'd walked past on his way to the kitchen. He set down the plates and dodged Thomas who had two plates as well. Between the two of them they managed to get all the plates but one out by the time Alex relented and showed the other two to the kitchen.
"A bed in the hallway?" John asked incredulously, looking over to Alex. "Why?"
"Dunno, ask Thomas, he's the idiot who put it there," Alex laughed. "He refused to move it despite my very convincing arguments against it.
"Convincing my ass," Jefferson scoffed. "More like terribly weak."
"What, so ease of access isn't a good reason to move it? It is rather hard to get from the office out quickly," Alex said, no doubt having brought it up many times before.
"But why would you need to be in a hurry?" Thomas asked. Alex sent him a meaningful look that no one could decipher and Thomas nodded, before saying, "well, maybe then, but otherwise, when?"
"In a fire?" Alex asked as if it were obvious.
"Why would there be a fire?" Thomas snorted.
"Arson, a kitchen accident-"
"No doubt caused by you and your terrible cooking skills," Thomas interrupted.
"Like you're not every bit as bad as me," Alex shot back easily. Everyone was muffling laughter at the banter, not wanting to interrupt.
"It's not like I've had much experience, not needing to cook and all," Thomas said. A flash of...something Lafayette couldn't identify, crossed Alex's face and Thomas quickly added, "but I'm learning."
Alex smiled a bit, eyes softening. "You sure are," he said softly. The observers had approximately three seconds to ponder this lightning-fast change of tone before Thomas clapped his hands together, making the three newcomers jump a bit.
"Well, food's getting cold so we'd better hurry up and eat it before it turns to ice," he said.
John was unnaturally silent, saying that he hadn't had good food in quite a while when on the ship when questioned. Alex and Jefferson accepted this, taking it all in stride. However, John was pondering their current change in relationship rather than enjoying the hot food.
'Alex is different,' he thought to himself. 'Before he wouldn't have thought twice about Jefferson's statement, 'it's not like I've had much experience.' Now he has Jefferson scrambling to amend himself...why?
'Not only that but Jefferson is trying to...help?' No, that's not the word for it, John thought, narrowing his eyes the tiniest fraction. 'Maybe not help, but not hurt Alex in some way. But almost nothing hurts Alex.'
He was shaken out of his thoughts by Alex asking him something.
"Sorry, what?" he asked, feeling his face heat up.
"What'd you do in France?" Alex repeated.
"Oh, ya. We just kinda hung out with Laf, went around and tried a crap ton of food and such. Not much," John replied, shrugging.
"Sounds fun," Alex replied in a tone that could be described as almost wistful.
"So, how did you and Jefferson become friends anyways?" Lafayette asks casually. He didn't miss the nervous, pleading glance he cast towards Thomas. It was gone almost as soon as it appeared, but he caught it.
"Long story," Alex replied after a few second's thought.
"We have time," Hercules said easily.
"I got something against Alex - you know, blackmail, if you like - and we kinda bonded over that. But don't worry!" Thomas added hurriedly as he saw the other's suspicious looks. "I'm not planning on telling anyone without his consent. I mean, unless it's a matter of life or death," he said added. He cast a sorrowful glance over at Alex, who shrugged.
'It was necessary,' he mouthed.
"You know it's coming," John said with a smile on his face. "What's the scoop?"
"'S nothin'," Alex mumbled.
"C'mon, we've seen enough for you to not be embarrassed by anything," Hercules whined. "You know enough about each of us to write a pretty incriminating book anyways, so even if we use it against you, then you could use that stuff against us."
"Really guys, it's nothing," Alex insisted. "You each already know enough about me to fill a pretty incriminating book too."
"True, but we don't know nearly enough," Lafayette said, smiling sweetly.
"It's nothing!" Alex exclaimed a touch angrily. Then he mumbled, "Nothing that matters, anyways. 'S'all in the past anyways."
"If it doesn't matter then-"
"He said he doesn't want to tell," Thomas interrupted abruptly. "Just leave it at that!"
"Nous étions en train de tromper," Lafayette muttered. (We were just fooling around)
"All in good fun," John said for Hercule's benefit more than anyone else, as he was the only one who couldn't understand French.
Alex slumped back in his chair breathing a near silent thank you to Thomas and clenched his hands under the table to stop them from trembling.
Thomas glanced at the clock and saw that it was only six-thirty. He thought quickly for something to do and blurted, "who's in for a game of cards?"
"Sure!" Alex said, relieved that Thomas had managed to think of something less awkward to do so quickly. "I'll go get the deck."
Thomas nodded and got the dishes into the sink, not even bothering to try to decline the others' help. He got everyone into the sitting room and grabbed some bottles of wine from the cellar, Alex jumping on the chance to get alone and out of sight of others with his boyfriend. He disappeared down after him saying that Thomas surely try to take a bunch of bottle at once a drop them all.
"Thanks for that, back there," Alex whispered.
"Hey, no problem, they shouldn't have been pressuring you," Thomas whispered back. "Consent is key."
"They didn't mean anything by it, they were joking, you know? Sometimes they don't really know when to stop though," Alex said. "But they're great, honest."
"Hey, I don't doubt it," Thomas promised. "But if you ever need saving from anything, conversation or otherwise, I've got your back."
Alex nodded gratefully, pressing a quick kiss onto Thomas' lips. "We should get going, or else they'll wonder what's keeping us."
Thomas put his hand on Alex's shoulder, careful to not let the bottle he was holding hit Alex or fall.
"Hey," he whispered. "Love you."
"Love you too," Alex murmured, hugging him tightly.
"Yo, what took so long?" John guffawed once they got back up. None of them missed the light blush already painting their cheeks, which grew darker with the question.
"Thomas was being stubborn and wouldn't let me carry a couple of the bottles so I had to wrestle them away," Alex supplied. It was quite the pitiful lie, especially as, had that been true, they'd have been shouting playfully at each other. It was painfully obvious that it was something much more personal, though they left it alone, accepting the lie suspiciously.
Hercules ended up crashing on the couch, having fallen asleep there and being immovable while John and Lafayette staggered up the stairs, assisted by a mostly sober Alex.
"Damn," John chuckled. "Guess I didn't make it to three this time, eh?"
"Not this time," Alex laughed. "Laf, this way. Only a few more doors."
"Where is your room?" Laf slurred, accent coming through full-force.
"Uh, downstairs," Alex said. Technically true, though not completely honest. He was lucky that the two of them were so wasted they didn't notice his hesitation nor would they remember any of this conversation come morning.
Alex got them in their respective beds and strolled back downstairs, hating himself for checking around the corners before walking out into the opening. Just one more side effect of the previous couple of months.
He slipped under the sheets, having already thrown his overcoat onto the floor and being just drunk enough to not care about sleeping in his day-clothes.
"What're we gonna say to them when they inevitably find out about us?" Alex murmured to Thomas who was already half asleep.
"The truth if you're good with that. Could say you had a nightmare if not," Thomas mumbled back, eyes half closed.
"About what though, if we were to go with that?" Alex asked.
"Dunno."
"You're such a huge help, you know that right?" Alex asked, laughing quietly.
"Yeah," Thomas murmured before falling asleep. Alex shrugged and snuggled up into his side, drifting slowly into an uneasy rest.
Up, down crack! Up, down crack! Alex tried to cry out for Thomas, but found that his voice was gone, that he couldn't scream or shout for help. He ran away, feet dragging as if going through molasses. His back was burning as if on fire and the whip came down again - crack! Alex sobbed a silent sob, trying to force his voice to come back.
Thomas appeared in front of him, mere feet away. Alex could've sobbed with relief. He felt his feet dragging, dragging slowly as he ran to him. The whip continued falling down - crack! Crack! Crack!
Thomas kept drifting away, never getting closer. Then he was gone and hands were forcing him down. More whips fell upon him - crack! Crack! Crack! Crack!
It was all a cruel joke, showing him Thomas then stealing him away. It wasn't fair to give him hope then snatch it away like that.
Crack! Crack! Crack!
He awoke in a cold sweat, shivering despite the blankets covering him. And, while he supposed that the sweating could easily be explained by the nightmare he'd had, the sluggish feeling weighing down his limbs and the ache in his throat couldn't be as easily. He sniffed - not because he was crying, but because he was trying to clear his nose.
'Dammit,' he cursed internally, unwilling to wake Thomas. He easily recognized the symptoms of a common cold, having gotten them before. His eyes drooped and, before he could stop himself, he fell asleep again.
When he awoke next, his throat seemed even more sore and a light hangover was pounding upon his head. Before he could stop himself he coughed weakly, both aggravating his throat and waking Thomas.
"Wha's goin' on?" he asked groggily.
"Nuthin," Alex slurred tiredly.
"You're sick," Thomas said, propping himself up on his elbow, forcing his eyes open.
"How d'you know?" Alex shot back weakly.
"Jemmy's been sick often enough I learn to recognize it," Thomas informed him, sitting up and rubbing sleep out of his eyes. "Do you need anything?"
"Mmm, about a year of sleep," Alex said before sneezing, unable to bring his arm up in time to cover his mouth. "'M real sluggish."
"Don't worry, you'll be perfectly fine," Thomas promised, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. "I'll go get some toast around for you. I'll be right back, ya?"
Alex nodded exhaustedly and quickly fell asleep. John soon stumbled downstairs and, not yet knowing his way around, stumbled across Alex in a light, fitful sleep.
"He's got a cold," Thomas whispered so as to not wake Alex he came up behind John. "I did get some toast ready, but he's asleep now, so do you want it? You can get some jam or something for it if you like. I know you'll probably have a nasty hangover, so maybe something small like this would be better than eggs or something like that."
"Oh, uh, thanks," John said, ignoring the pang he felt when he saw Alex sleeping in Thomas' bed. He was probably just there for easy access so no one would have to run up and down the stairs to take care of him.
Then he saw Alex's green tailcoat on the ground by the bed and he knew, knew that, whatever this was, that wasn't the case.
"Actually," he amended, just barely alert to keep the sorrow out of his voice and to keep his face bright. "I'm not that hungry. Thanks though."
"No problem," Thomas said. He looked down at the plate in his hands containing two slices of plain toast. After a moment of thought he put it down on a nearby nightstand along with a glass of water.
"You wanna go out to the dining room? I should've gotten the paper delivered a couple hours ago if you want to read that, or we could just talk," Thomas suggested to John, walking away from the bed.
"Sure," John forcing a smile, though he soon found that it became easy and genuine.
Thomas stopped on the way to duck outside and grab the newspaper, careful to keep the sound of the door opening and closing quiet.
"Why doesn't Alex like the sound of a door opening?" John asked. Had he been a bit more awake, he might never have asked that, though for now he was just tired enough that he didn't have much of a filter.
Thomas looked at the paper in his hands for a minute or two before answering carefully, "some stuff happened while you guys were gone, and now Alex is a bit more...jumpy, though that's his story to tell."
"Why won't you say anything about it? Normally you'd jump on the chance to make him uncomfortable - that's just how you guys went at it," John asked.
"If he doesn't want to tell you guys, then I won't. It's...it's a touchy subject. For me, consent is key. When I first confronted him about it in his office, I thought we could sort of...laugh it off. I honestly don't know what I expected. But anyways, that's not what happened and we sort of...bonded over me helping him. Then things went to shit and we both started comforting each other." Thomas shuddered, shaking his head, trying to dispel uncomfortable images of Alex lying on the ground, bleeding into the grass.
"Honestly, I hope nothing ever gets as bad as that again. You always think that tragedy is...not better, but different, exciting, in a morbid sense. Then it happens and all you want is to forget all about it. Alex was the one who got hurt, but I had to see it happen and now we're both affected by it. More so than just, I'm concerned for him, you know? Like, we're both broken, rather than just me feeling sympathetic for him being broken." Thomas frowned, wondering if he'd let out too much. "If, if that makes sense. We're not literally broken, just-"
"You were just using a metaphor?" John asked.
"Exactly," Thomas said, smiling. "And, hey. Could you maybe...not ask about it anymore? He'll tell you when he feels comfortable."
"Course," John agreed. Then, after a minute or so, "you're...you're not just friends, are you?"
"No," Thomas admitted. "But I haven't done anything so far without his consent, promise. It's ok, right? I know you're his best friend, and I don't- I don't want to do anything to hurt any of you, even if I did just meet you and Hercules yesterday and Laf, well, I knew him for a while but we've kind of fallen out of contact. I know how important you are to Alex."
"Course it's fine," John said, forcing himself to keep him smile, forcing himself to ignore than pang in his chest. Thomas let out a sigh of relief.
You were bound to find out eventually anyways," Thomas said, almost to himself. "Surely he wouldn't mind me telling you, right?"
"No, I don't think so. After all," John forced another smile, "it's not like you're shouting it from the rooftops. And like you said, we were bound to find out anyways."
"Thanks for this, you know, just listening to me ramble, you know? It's nice to let it out every so often. If you ever need to rant or talk or anything, hit me up, kay?" Thomas asked. "I mean, not like that, I'd never do something like that to Alex, but-"
"I get what you mean," John said, smiling despite himself. "I'll remember that, thanks."
"I know I just dumped a lot on you just now, with that little bit with both of us being broken, and our relationship 'n all, but you were a really good listener, you know? I know that most people would back away like, dude, stop-" Thomas acted it out, putting his hands up and stepping back, drawing a laugh out from John "-but you just kind of took it all in stride, nodded in all the right places and understood what I meant even when I wasn't being the most clear, and I know I'm rambling, sorry, I'll just shut up now."
John laughed. "Naw, it's fine, we all ramble sometimes, even the best of us. Hard to believe, but sometimes I ramble too!"
Thomas laughed, feeling lighter than he had in ages. The two of them got along fairly well, surprisingly enough.
"So, I guess I should return a favor. Anything you want to talk about?" Thomas asked.
How bad it felt when your crush was with someone else - his past enemy no less; how guilty he felt that he had been off in France while heaven-only-knows what happened to Alex and turned to his worst enemy for help; how his parents hated him for being gay; how impossible it was to perfectly describe what it felt like to force a smile when all you want to do it crawl in a hole and die.
Instead of saying any of this however, he just said, "how soon do you think Alex will be back on his feet?"
"Pretty quickly, apparently," Alex said blearily from the entrance to the sitting room, where the two of them were still talking. He rubbed the back of his sleeve on his nose, sniffing a little.
"Alex, you shouldn't be up right now!' Thomas scolded.
"'S just a cold," Alex mumbled. "I can handle it."
"Still," Thomas persisted. "You won't get better by working yourself to the bone while you're sick."
"Lexi, he's right," John said. Alex groaned, going a bit flat from his stuffed nose.
"Fine, I'll go back to bed if it'll make you happy," he said, turning to go back into their bed.
"Alex, you're bleeding!" John said, rushing over to where Alex stood. He couldn't take his eyes off the small red patch on his white, cotton shirt.
"Wha' you mean?" Alex slurred. Then his eyes grew wide and his face lost it's color as he followed his friend's worried gaze.
"I- it's nothing!" he tried, putting his arms up weakly.
"But you're bleeding!" John argued.
"It's an old wound," Alex pleaded, brown eyes filled with terror. "Seriously, it's fine!"
"At least let me make sure it's not okay, if nothing else then to help me assure myself that you're fine!"
"No, John, it's fine, it's nothing, honest!" Alex turned his gaze to Thomas, big eyes begging for help.
"It's fine, I check last night before we went to sleep. He probably just broke it open - you know how you can break wounds open from movement. He probably did it just now when he got up," Thomas tried.
"If it just broke open then it must be bleeding really badly," John worried. "Please, just let me see it."
Alex sighed, knowing that John wouldn't stop fussing until he knew that he was okay. In his already exhausted state, he simply wasn't fit to protest much longer. He knew when he was fighting a losing battle, and while he might normally fight until the bitter end, he just couldn't keep it up.
"Alex, are you sure?" Thomas asked as Alex tiredly began to pull of his shirt. He didn't reply, but rather paused for a millisecond and continued. John gasped, eyes going wide as Alex straightened up. Even just on the front he could see scars snaking their way to the front of Alex's shoulders and torso.
"Who did this?" he whispered, feeling his knees go weak. Alex swayed on his feet in exhaustion, Thomas coming up behind him so he could lean against him. He let his head loll onto Thomas' chest before answering.
"You wanted to see it, so here you go," he said. He hesitated, already feeling horribly exposed, then did a half-turn so that John could see his back. He cringed at John's silence.
"See? It's nothing," he mumbled. He flinched as a cold finger lightly traced a scar that ran across most of his back.
"These aren't nothing," John whispered. "Alex, these probably need medical-"
"We've already had it taken care of, don't worry," Alex said, pressing his back into Thomas once more, folding his arms tightly as he was starting to shiver without his shirt. He leaned into the warmth that Thomas' arms around him provided.
"Alex, who would do this to you?" John whispered, looking broken.
"He's already been locked away," Alex murmured, averting his gaze from John's guilt-filled eyes.
"Is this what happened?" John asked Thomas. "Is this what brought you together? What broke you two?"
"You told him?" Alex asked, voice rising in pitch and pulling out of Thomas' embrace. He forgot about his shivering for the moment, unfolding his arms in shock and fury. "You promised you wouldn't tell anyone! You promised!"
"I didn't tell him exactly what happened, just explained that it brought us together-"
Alex's eyes filled with tears and he backed into the wall. "You promised, said it was all about consent and whether I was ready!"
"All I said was that it was terrible and that it hurt both of us-" Thomas tried, tears springing to his eyes. "Alex please, I didn't tell him, you know I'd never hurt you- betray you like this."
"He really didn't tell me anything," John pleaded, seeing that Alex was starting to hyperventilate.
Alex sniffed and wiped tears from his eyes angrily. "Course he didn't, he just spilled on everything else. Kept out the specifics."
"No, please, Alex," Thomas pleaded.
"Who else did you tell, huh? Laf? Herc? Jemmy?" Alex snarled.
"Alex, please," Thomas cried, not caring about the tears spilling down his cheeks.
"Did you ever even love me? Did you lie about that too?" Alex spat. He stooped down and grabbed his shirt, laying on the floor. He pulled it on roughly, and stormed out, exhaustion briefly forgotten.
He passed Hercules who was sitting up on the couch, bleary-eyed but having heard everything, without a doubt.
"Alex, what's going on?" he asked, concern filling his eyes. "I heard you three fighting."
"I'm fine," Alex snapped, tears betraying him. Betrayal was consuming him, leaving no room for air.
"Hey, Lexi, what's wrong?" Hercules asked softly.
"Thomas betrayed me," he sobbed into Hercules' chest. Arms were wrapped around him, and for a millisecond he thought that he might be in Thomas' embrace once more, and he'd tell him that everything was fine and that he didn't really betray him.
Then he remembered that this was Hercules, which made him hurt even more.
"Shh, it's okay," Hercules said quietly. That made Alex remember those countless nights where Thomas would curl up with him and tell him that everything was fine until he was convinced that everything was. Alex sobbed harder, clutching Hercules' shirt.
His tears were hot and sticky and his throat seemed ruined from how much is hurt. His headache was pounding upon him full-force and suddenly Alex was so tired all he could do was slump into Hercules' arms, knowing that his friend could easily support him.
"Hey, come on, let's go back to your room," Hercules suggested. Alex knew it wasn't his fault, but that hurt too. He shook his head a mumbled hoarsely, "spare room."
"Okay, but I might need you to guide me," Hercules confessed.
"One of the rooms at the top of the stairs," Alex sniffled. While on the way there, he couldn't help but to glance down the hallway. He could see that Thomas was on their bed, fingers threaded through his hair. His shoulders were shaking. Everything about him screamed defeat.
Alex sniffed again and turned back to the stairs, dragging his feet up the stairs tiredly.
"Is this room okay?" he's asked. Alex nods his head and is briefly picked up -
"I'm going to move you to our bed, mkay?" Thomas asked. Alex responded by snuggling further into Thomas' arms, causing him to chuckle a little. He changed his grip a bit then lifted Alex, causing the smaller man to scrabble at Thomas' shoulders, clinging on tightly, eyes shooting open.
"Thomas!" he squeaked. "Don't drop me!"
"I'd never drop you," Thomas said, smiling.
- before being set down on the bed. Covers are pulled over him and Hercules asks, "do you want to talk 'bout it?"
Alex shook his head, eyes drooping down tiredly. After a moment though he mumbled, "Thomas told John about what happened when I told him no. He said he'd never tell anyone but he did."
"I'm sure he didn't," Hercules said.
"But he did, jus' left out the specifics," Alex sniffed.
"Better than everything, am I right?" Hercules said, attempting something like a joke. Alex couldn't muster the energy to force a smile, but nodded.
"John confronted me about a little spot of blood on my shirt and insisted that he see it. I showed him and he asked Thomas if that was what happened," Alex mumbled after a moment.
"Then it sounds like all he knew was that something happened, which is what most everyone knows," Hercules said, raking his head through Alex's long hair.
"Did Thomas tell everyone?" Alex asked, sounding small.
"No, but it's easy enough to guess. From what I understand, you miss nearly two months of work then Washington rushes to your aid with Jefferson. It's fairly easy to come to the conclusion that something was wrong," Hercules reasoned.
"Was it really that obvious?"
"Sorta."
Then, after a moment, "do you want to talk about what happened?"
"Not really," Alex admitted tiredly. "But if I forget this conversation, remind me, kay?"
"Promise," Hercules said, smiling when he realized that Alex was already asleep.
He walked quietly downstairs, guessing that Thomas might be in his room - or rather, office, Hercules supposed.
He found him a mess, hair even more frizzy and messy that usual. When he looked up, his eyes were red and guilt-ridden.
"I'm the worst boyfriend ever," he sobbed.
"I talked to Alex," he said. Thomas winced, wondering if he'd condemn him too, or scream abuse at him. He deserved it, he thought.
"I explained things a bit better, I think," Hercules said. "But I know that Alex asked me to not let him forget that you only told John that something happened while we were gone."
Thomas looked up, hope shining faintly in his eyes. He clutched his hands together and pleaded, "I didn't think that telling John that what happened was bad would destroy him like this. I thought he just didn't want people to know the specifics.
"And here I thought things were starting to look up." Thomas finished with a strangled sob, pressing his face into his hands.
"I thought he was finally starting to do better with things, and we were in a good place, honest. I didn't think that this would hurt him so bad. If I had known I'd have never even opened my mouth, not even to ask John if he wanted to talk about anything again, 'cause-" Thomas hiccuped "-'cause that's how the whole conversation started."
"Hey, it's ok," Hercules crooned, sitting down next to Thomas. He pulled him into a loose hug and Thomas leaned his head on his shoulder. "I think he might forgive you."
"Is he asleep?" Thomas asked in a small voice.
"Even distraught with sadness you put him before yourself," Hercules chuckled. "Ya, he's asleep."
"Good, he needs it," Thomas said quietly.
"I don't doubt it, he looked halfway to death," Hercules joked.
Thomas pulled away from Hercules fearfully. "He didn't look that bad, did he? He isn't dying?"
He looked so small and fragile, like if someone were to so much as breathe on him he'd shatter into a million pieces. Hercules berated himself for being so insensitive and hurried to calm him.
"No, no, I was just saying he looked tired," Hercules soothed, pulling Thomas back into his arms. He let Thomas lay there for a while, let him cry and confess to nearly everything he'd ever done wrong, from fighting with Alex at meetings to breaking a vase at the age of seven. All the while he kept him hugged close, rubbing circles into his back.
"I should've been the one to comfort him when we went- there, and yet he was the one who was calming me down, even as I knew he was panicking. Now look how I've returned his love."
"Shh, it's ok, you didn't mean to hurt him," Hercules breathed.
"I shouldn't have done it anyways," Thomas protested weakly.
"Everyone knew that something bad happened," Hercules tried, knowing that it had worked for Alex. "John would've found out sooner or later, and better from his friends than from a stranger on the street."
Deep down, Thomas knew Hercules was right.
"What have I ever done to deserve anything even close to this?" Thomas sniffed, letting out a few more stray tears.
"Hey, do you know where John is?" Hercules asked after a few moments. "I want to make sure he's okay too."
"He might be on the couch," Thomas mumbled. "I don't really know. Or he might be in his spare room."
"I'll go find him. If you need me, just come find me, mkay?" he asks. Thomas nods and Hercules gets up, trusting Thomas to come to him for help.
He found John in his room and sat down beside him.
"I shouldn't've pressured him ta show me," John said despondently without prompting, Southern accent showing through.
"It's ok, you were worried," Hercules soothed. After calming down both Alex and Thomas, he was pretty sure he knew what to do to make John feel better.
"You know that he doesn't blame you, right? Neither of them do," Hercules assured him. "Alex only mentioned you when he said that Thomas told you that something happened while we were gone."
"I should'a been here fer him when that happened," John said, sniffing.
"No one could've predicted that this would happen," Hercules soothed. "No one could've said what would happen over those two months, or that this would happen. No one."
John let himself lay with his head on Hercules' lap and he began playing with his hair, freeing it of knots. He knew that John liked that, and he knew he'd made the right decision when he leaned into his touch.
"The worst thing is that I almost wanted them to fight," John admitted quietly. "I love Alex - you know this - and I wanted him for myself. And even though I kept trying to convince myself that I was happy for them, that I was glad that they had found each other and that they were so happy but I was so jealous, and I wanted that for myself."
"You're not a bad person for wanting that for yourself," Hercules crooned. "Even if you did want this to happen with all your heart, you feel bad, right?"
John nodded, unsure of where this was going.
"There you go. You didn't want this, not really. The good in you drowns out your bad," Hercules reasoned. "It's like that yin-yang thing, good in evil and evil in good."
"When did you get so good at this? Can't you just let me wallow in my misery?" John asked, cracking a small, tentative smile.
"Never," Hercules teased, booping John's nose. He feebly swatted at Hercules before sitting up.
"Ok, you've fixed me," John said, letting out a small smile.
"No, I didn't fix you. I just showed you how to fix yourself," Hercules said, smiling.
"Dammit, when did you get so damn smart?" John whined.
"Ever since I needed to help my buds," Hercules said, smiling softly.
Alex awoke nearly six hours later, feeling like shit. His head hurt from crying and his throat seemed to have been ripped to shreds by a thousand needles. His nose was so stuffed he had to breathe through his mouth. His body ached and his face felt crusty from the tears that had dried there.
Shit indeed.
Not only that, but he'd treated Thomas and John like shit. Personally, Alex felt that that was worse.
He forced himself to get up and stumbled outside, leaning heavily on the wall for balance for the first few meters he spent upright. He soon grew used to standing however, and moved on to the stairs, determined to apologize for his behavior.
He found Thomas in the first place he looked, in their bed. He hoped that Thomas would understand.
"Thomas, wake up," he called softly, shaking him gently. "I need to talk to you."
Alex cringed. Possibly not the best way to start an apology.
"What is it Alex?" Thomas murmured, not even opening his eyes. Then he shot upright, startling him. An incredulous look crossed his face. "Alex?"
"I- I wanted to say that I was sorry. I know I treated you really badly 'n that I was an asshole 'n everything, but I really want you to know that I feel terribly and wanted to ask for your forgiveness," Alex blurted, each word feelings like knives tearing themselves from his throat, voice strained.
"Alex, I-"
"And I understand if you hate me 'n that if you want me to go, because I shouldn't'a treated you like that, but I really want you to know that I didn't mean anything that I said," Alex continued.
"Alex-"
"And if you never wanna see me again, that's fine, I'll go get my stuff, I just wanted to let you know that I felt terrible and that I know I fucked up bad," Alex rambled.
"Alex!" Thomas interrupted. Alex looked at him, face full of exhaustion and guilt. "Honey, I never hated you. The only reason I didn't go storming up there to apologize was 'cause Herc said you were 'sleep, and I knew you needed that bad. You still do."
Alex found that he had no choice but to agree as he was literally swaying on his feet, despite sleeping for six hours. Stress over this whole situation was weighing down on him, sapping him of any energy he might've had otherwise.
"C'm'ere," Thomas said, opening his arms. Alex nearly fell into them and allowed himself to go limp as he was adjusted to be more comfortable. He quickly fell asleep once more, a small smile of hope alight on his face. Hope that maybe, just maybe, he and Thomas could get through anything.
When Alex next awoke he was pleased to find that he felt marginally better and was even more pleased to find that Thomas' arms were still wrapped around him. He sniffed a bit to attempt to clear his nose, was only partially successful and accepted that he was still stuck with breathing through his mouth.
At least he was in Thomas' arms.
"What'd you do, mon ami?" Lafayette asked. (My friend)
"Talked, but let them talk mostly," Hercules said, taking a small drink of his water. Everyone was asleep but them, and the house seemed unnaturally quiet after the chaos of the morning. "It's all about letting them get everything off their chest, let them know that some cares, that someone understands."
"How are you so good at it though?" Lafayette persisted.
"I guess it comes down to how you talk and treat them," Hercules mused. "I wouldn't have been able to help them if I had been cold or demanding. But they'd have been able to get through it on their own, I can tell. They're stubborn, yes, but also eternally faithful and loyal."
"They're so lucky, you know?" Lafayette said. "Not many people get that good of a relationship."
"I think that anyone can have that as long as there's something there and both sides have it and they're willing to sacrifice anything for the other. Both sides have to follow through though," Hercules said. He took a deep breath then said, "I know I'd be willing to do that for you."
Lafayette inhaled sharply, looking up in surprise. Then, just as Hercules was starting to regret coming clean, a smile broke out across his face.
"Oui, oui, oui, oui, oui, oui!" he cried, nodding his head violently. (Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!) "Oui, mon cher!" (Yes, my dear!)
Hercules might've teased Lafayette had he not been so giddy.
"You're sure about this?" Thomas asked nervously. His heart was fluttering like a caged bird, trying to escape - and the crazy thing was, it wasn't even his secret at all.
"I need to come clean to them, so they don't worry like John did," Alex declared firmly, looking so much more confident than Thomas felt.
Just that morning had been the first anyone had allowed Alex to leave his bed, and it had also been the time when Lafayette and Hercules came out to everyone.
"I knew it!" John had shouted joyously, pumping his first into the air. Thomas had congratulated them and Alex had stood by his side, grinning like an idiot.
Everyone pretty much knew that he and Alex were a thing, but Thomas made it official by announcing it right after everyone had quieted down a bit, which had caused them to go off again, tittering and giggling. John took Alex aside.
"Alex, I just want you to know that, no matter what happens, I'm happy for you," John had said, brushing a tear away.
"What's wrong?" Alex had asked.
"I just-" John had broken off, biting his lip. "It's nothing."
"I won't get mad, I promise," Alex had said.
"I- I love you, Alexander Hamilton," John had whispered, looking down at the ground. "But I want you to know that I'm still happy for you - Thomas is so good to you, and you deserve someone like him."
"John, I-" Alex had broken off, not wanting to hurt his best friend. "I can't say that I love you romantically, but you'll always be my very best friend, promise."
And Alex had meant that. He still did.
John had smiled sadly and hugged him fiercely, holding him as tight as he could.
"What was that all about?" Thomas had asked.
"Not my story to tell," Alex had said with a sort of bitter-sweet smile.
Now there was just one more thing to tell, one more secret that needed to be unveiled. That secret was Alex's past, and his story to tell.
He had waited until everyone was done eating, then grabbed Thomas' hand under the table for support.
"Alright everybody, there's one last important thing I have to say," Alex had started. Thomas squeezed his hand reassuringly.
Perhaps the other sensed the seriousness of what Alex was about to say, or perhaps John had warned them that something like this might happen, but no one said a thing, no one teased him about only having one last thing to say.
And so he spilled it all out. Everything. Every memory that mattered within those two and a half months, from the moment he walked into the cabinet meeting to the fight that Hercules had helped solve. They all sat and listened, not interrupting once. That might be what made it doable: they just listened.
They didn't react, didn't scream or rage, didn't cry or sob, didn't do so much as utter a single word. They clenched hands, yes, sometimes tightly enough that knuckles turned white or, in Hercules' and Lafayette's case, that the other person winced.
"That's what I've been hiding, what you've been missing. I should've told you sooner, I know, but there it is," Alex finished. He forced himself to not squirm at everyone's silence, to sit still.
"Alex, I- I'm not going to say you should've told us, because you had to be ready, and that's not what you need to hear," Hercules said, the first to break the silence. "I don't think you need to hear anything at all, except for maybe this-" Hercules reached across the table and grabbed the hand that Thomas wasn't still holding.
"We'll always be here for you, no matter what."
That was written in basically one sitting (excusing the fact that I got up one for another water bottle and a couple cookies once). I also wrote that in the same day that I wrote the last chapter, but my editing and revising was cut short by my computer being taken away for the night 'because you have to go to sleep.'
Anyways, here's the continued author's note I promised, though I recommend not skipping this.
In this chapter I highlighted two phrases that, honestly, I am very proud to have written. The first is, 'consent is key.' This one isn't clever or inspiring in the sense of the second one, but it is important to me.
If you're in a situation, whether you're in an uncomfortable conversation or your partner is asking if you want to do it, consent is key. You shouldn't have to be put into a position where you have to do something you don't want to, whether is confessing that yes, you had a nightmare or being forced to do it when when even just the thought of it makes your insides squirm.
(I kept that one bit pretty vague, so if you don't know what it is, enjoy your innocence while it lasts XD)
The second line that I highlighted might very well be the best thing I've ever written, in my opinion. 'No, I didn't fix you. I just showed you how to fix yourself.' It's rather like that one quote that goes something like, 'we are all cracked, that's how the light gets in.' I forget who said it.
Anyways, I just really like this one. It makes me happy.
So there's my little slightly emotional, sort-of pep-talk for the day. XD
Also side note: I made Alex get sick because I have a minor cold (and also because I thought it would be cuter that way, because he's fighting when bone-tired. I don't know, I have a weird sense of cute), but I probably got some of the symptoms wrong anyways. Sorry.
I'll get another chapter up soon, and it will have fatherly Washington and Madison reacting to Jamilton! *cheering* And please, keep the ideas coming! If I can, I'll put them into the next chapter or, if they're big enough, I'll give them their own chapter. Anyways, this has been a really long author's note, so bye!
-Ranger Corpses
