Sasuke woke with a groan, his mind groggy and his eyes crusty. He felt absolutely disgusting.
He rubbed his eyes and stretched his body, hearing faint pops from his bones. The sheets were warm and cosy, and the smell of coffee rich around him, making him definitely not ready to get out of bed just yet.
It took his mind another moment to wake up enough to remember last night. Shit, that had been a bad one. He clenched his eyes shut again. It felt almost surreal now, the way he had completely lost it. It came like lightning from a clear sky, hitting him out of nowhere. He had been running through desolate city streets, hoping to see Naruto, worry growing in him when he didn't. Splitting up had seemed like a good plan, but it really wasn't.
Then he'd finally found Naruto, and was ready to end all this bullshit and go back home when Naruto had carved open his own arm and suddenly had a raging vampire gunning for him. Sasuke should have just have charged in and saved Naruto's ass, like he'd done before. His idiot boyfriend's haphazard plans were never thought out, leaving plenty of room for messing up, and usually it was Sasuke's job to step up to the plate and clean up, but somehow the sight of blood had sent his mind spinning, and he hadn't been able to think clearly at all anymore.
Pressing the heel of his hands into his eyes Sasuke groaned. He hated this. Hated the fact that now he'd have to go to therapy to figure out what was wrong and get over it. He never would have done that if it hadn't been for Naruto. A part of him just wanted to go on ignoring what had happened and hope it passed, but another part insisted that since he'd do anything for Naruto, he'd have to do this as well. He couldn't chance another episode.
He wanted to burrow deep into the sheets and stay there, but the pressure of his bladder forced him out of bed a few minutes later, and he walked over to the bathroom, goose bumps spreading on his skin from the cool air of the apartment on his naked body. Fall had settled over the city, bringing with it cold winds and rain.
He relieved himself, washed his hands and splashed some water in his face, scrubbing away the last remaining grunge of sleep. As he dried off he turned around, and saw the pile of wet fabric on the floor that was his clothes. His nose scrunched up in disgust. Cold, wet and probably smelly, no way was he putting them back on.
"You feeling okay?" Naruto called out from the direction of the kitchen, obviously having heard him get up.
"Yes. But I need clothes," Sasuke said back, refraining from yelling. The apartment was small enough it really wasn't necessary at all, even if Naruto didn't seem to realise this. He probably should have left some clothes at Naruto's, but they spent more time at his own place, so he hadn't gotten around to it. He hung up the towel and walked out of the bathroom.
Naruto's gaze slid down his body in an appreciative sweep before he nodded. "You can borrow some. Then we can eat. I've made coffee as well."
Sasuke followed after Naruto into the bedroom, completely uncaring that he was naked. Naruto had seen him in this state plenty before, and Sasuke knew he didn't have anything to be embarrassed about.
Naruto dove into a chest of drawers that contained most of his clothes, rummaging through it. Sasuke used the opportunity to take advantage of the view. The motion of bending over had Naruto's sweatpants pull tight over his ass. It was a nice ass; Sasuke would be the first to admit that. Maybe it was a good thing Naruto always preferred looser fitting pants, if he displayed his assets to everyone he'd have a whole slew of admirers to fight off.
Sasuke huffed at himself. Whatever had happened yesterday hadn't completely killed his libido at least, and he guessed that was a good thing.
"Here!" Naruto yelled, and a pair of dark grey sweatpants flew over his head, quickly followed by a pair of blue boxers. Sasuke pulled on both, cinching the pants tight around his waist. Naruto was broader than him, and with his affinity towards baggy clothes it made the pants definitely too big for Sasuke. It wasn't like he had plans to go anywhere just yet though, so he figured it wasn't a problem if he looked like a slob for the moment.
After snatching a wadded up pair of socks out of the air and pulling them on a final piece of clothing flew at his head. Sasuke caught it, nose scrunching up in disapproval. "Are you serious?" he asked, highly unimpressed.
Naruto ignored the glare directed at him as he pulled a moss-green hoodie over the t-shirt he had been wearing. He grinned widely and shut the drawer he had been digging through with his hip. "Sorry, it's all I have that's clean," he said, the grin telling Sasuke exactly how full of bullshit Naruto was.
With a dejected sigh Sasuke pulled on the hoodie Naruto had thrown him, wincing at the vibrant colour. As he popped his head out of the opening and pushed the hood off his head he just had time to see Naruto jumping towards him before he felt strong arms around his waist.
"Mmm, my favourite colour on my favourite guy," he said, planting a kiss on Sasuke's cheek.
Sasuke groaned at the cheesiness, but a part of him thought that maybe orange wasn't that bad after all. Even though he could have done without the godawful pun that decorated the entire front of the hoodie.
"Come on, I want food," Naruto said, grabbing Sasuke's hand and pulling him after him towards the kitchen.
Sasuke liked that Naruto didn't make a big deal about what had happened last night, that things were still the same between them. It felt nice, felt right.
A quick breakfast of cereal and a cup of coffee later Naruto dragged Sasuke along to the couch. He lay down across it with his back against the armrest, and then motioned for Sasuke to do the same, sprawl out over the couch, with his back pressed against Naruto's chest. Normally he would have grumbled about being ordered around by an overeager boyfriend, but he did as he was told, and when Naruto's arms wrapped around him he had to admit that it was, in fact, rather nice.
Naruto turned on the TV, but kept the sound to a minimum, just a background humming they didn't pay any attention to.
Sasuke's hand lifted to the arms wrapped around him, and his fingers absentmindedly stroked against warm skin. Naruto had pushed the sleeve of his sweater up to his elbows, giving Sasuke plenty of prime real estate to trace along. Naruto's skin was smooth, just a tickle of soft hairs teasing at the pads of his fingers, until Sasuke dragged them across the back of a strong arm, feeling the line running along it, knowing exactly what it was.
When he tilted his head down he saw nothing more than a thin line of red bisecting the otherwise tan skin. The wound had closed up, and was almost fully healed already. It would soon fade into a white line, and then probably be lost completely. Sasuke let his fingers wander the length of it, diagonally over the forearm, probably closer to five full inches. It looked so innocuous. The knife had been sharp and the edges of the wound had closed neat enough to leave nothing more than a faint line, making it hard to believe that only a few hours before Naruto had been bleeding so much it had sent Sasuke right into what he figured was some kind of panic attack.
Intellectually Sasuke knew that even on a normal human a cut across the back of the arm was hardly a death sentence. It avoided the major arteries altogether; at least Naruto hadn't been dumb enough to carve up the inside of his arm. It had looked back though. The rain had probably made it seem even worse, diluting the blood into a full-on flood of red.
"Hn," Sasuke said to himself, forgoing the wound on the arm to entangle his fingers with Naruto's. He hated how he'd lost complete control of himself, hated how he hadn't been able to help Naruto. He certainly wasn't looking forward to talking to Shizune, but even he saw that it was probably needed. He couldn't risk anything like this happening again, not if it would endanger Naruto.
Something in that moment had just sent him right back to memories he had tried his hardest to repress. It had been a few months since Itachi had died—since he'd killed Itachi—but it wasn't nearly enough to forget.
He'd always told himself that as soon as he got his revenge things would be okay. Itachi would have his peace, his parents would be avenged, and the demon that had torn his family apart would be forever wiped away. He hadn't really ever considered what came after, but it turned out that getting revenge didn't make things right, not completely, not really at all. He hated that he had been forced to push a blade through his brother's chest. He knew that his brother was dead long ago and that what remained was a mere shell, but something about the last moments, it was as if Itachi was still there, helping him, wanting him to finish it. However prepared he thought he had been he obviously hadn't. He wasn't sure anyone could ever prepare for something like that, to face what was a frightening mix of brother and monster and kill him, kill it. It had broken something in him, something he had tried to ignore for now, but the cracks were widening, seeping into his dreams and now his waking life as well.
Sasuke hadn't wanted to feel the pain that was growing inside, had done what he did best, hiding his emotions and ignoring them. He should have known it couldn't go on, but he had hoped that time would heal his wounds and make him forget. There was only so much he could ask of his mind, it couldn't keep repressing the memories, and now it was catching up to him.
He was grieving for his lost family, for the pain of having to be the one to end it, for the life he should have had, the one that had been stolen from him as a child. The grief was like a ragged hole in his chest that he had tried to plug up, but now it was broken open, and he didn't think he could keep ignoring it. It hurt so much, deep in him, and he didn't know how he could really move on.
He felt a tightening in his chest, and clenched around Naruto's arm, trying to ground himself.
"Sasuke, do you want to talk about it?" Naruto asked it, voice calm and comforting.
Naruto felt Sasuke tense underneath him, and was expecting him to just shrug it off, act like whatever was bothering him wasn't a big deal. Naruto had asked before, but Sasuke just ignored it, moved on, acted like everything was fine, and Naruto didn't push, however hard it was not to.
"It hurts," Sasuke said, almost sounding as if he was surprised he was talking at all, because he cut himself off. His fingers clutched around Naruto's arm, fingertips digging into muscle.
"Tell me about it," Naruto murmured, kissing the top of Sasuke's head, afraid that raising his voice would startle Sasuke into not talking at all.
Sasuke hesitated, seemingly looking for words, probably arguing with himself, wanting to shut his feelings back inside, act as if everything was okay. "I miss them. Miss mom and dad and Itachi. And I... don't want to be alone anymore." His voice was weak, unsure, as if the words felt foreign in his mouth, as if he was only realising his feelings as the words came.
"You're not alone, you have me," Naruto said, tightening his arms around Sasuke. He buried his face in soft locks of black hair and closed his eyes, taking slow even breaths, just holding Sasuke, wishing there was more he could do, wishing he could make everything right.
He had wanted to become an agent to help people, and now he couldn't do anything to help Sasuke, and it made him feel so inadequate. He loved Sasuke, wanted him to be happy, but didn't know how to do it. He hated seeming him hurt like this.
It was odd how important Sasuke had become to him. Only a few months earlier things had been very different. He'd been partnered with Sasuke, and the dislike between the two had been instantaneous. They had clashed horribly, mostly because Sasuke had been an utter bastard, but also because Naruto just couldn't back down. If someone had told him that come fall he would be curled up on the couch with Sasuke pressed against him, loving him like he hadn't loved anyone before he probably would have cracked up laughing. Or punched them.
The initial dislike had turned into something different. Interest, lust, affection, and then love. Some would maybe think it was too soon to say you loved someone, but with everything the two of them had gone through together Naruto just knew. Knew that he couldn't even imagine his life without Sasuke in it anymore.
Naruto had never had this before, an actual relationship, and now the fragility of it was making him fear what could happen. He didn't want to lose Sasuke, couldn't stand the thought that he'd end up alone again. He really hoped Shizune could help Sasuke overcome the pain.
Sasuke was one of the few people Naruto had ever met that wasn't afraid of him. He had grown up in a place where people feared and hated him, but Sasuke couldn't care less about Naruto being a shifter, and even if he had seen the power the beast held, seen Naruto at his worst, he accepted him.
Naruto was probably a lot more afraid of the beast within him than Sasuke was. Naruto had been fighting it his whole life, and these last months the beast only seemed to grow more agitated. It was as if being allowed to break free of the chains one time had empowered it, and Naruto felt it stir often these days. He had control over it though, could push it back. Didn't need the beast to do his job, was strong enough without it. He had to be.
Naruto had always been at odds with his status as a shifter. He knew that most shifters were just like other people, only with the ability to turn into animals, but for Naruto it didn't feel as if the animal was a part of him, it felt as if it was a separate entity living within him, warring for power.
Protos Itachi had called him, but Naruto had no idea what that meant, and even if he had gone through what resources the DPA had at their disposal there had been no mentions of anything bearing that name. What hope he had that he could figure out what made him different had been crushed as he realised that Itachi must've lied, even if it made no sense.
He had gone through tests when he was a still baby and had become the responsibility of the Child Protective Services. They'd found fox DNA embedded in his own, so that's how he had always known that the animal inside was a fox, even if he had never allowed himself to shift completely. He knew the shift was supposed to feel natural, but he was afraid of the beast, afraid of the power it came with. It was an untapped source of power within him, but that power came with a loss of self that he was not ready for.
Growing up in a small town, being the only shifter, he had thought this was how it was supposed to be like, hadn't known any better. Shifters stayed mostly with their own kind, so it wasn't like humans had a whole lot of insight into their lives. Iruka had always been there to support him though, even when Naruto was depressed over being different from everyone, over being alone because everyone hated him, was afraid of him. It was Iruka who had saved him that one time...
Naruto felt his jaws tighten as he pressed bad memories back to the dredges of his mind. He had to take care of Sasuke now, not bring up painful memories better left in the past. Later they would need to go into the DPA and tell Kakashi everything, but for now he just wanted to hold Sasuke.
Minutes trickled past in a slow stream of time as the two held each other, trying to forget their troubles for a while. Naruto felt Sasuke's breath slow and steady, marked with a rising and lowering of his chest under Naruto's hands. Pale fingers were splayed across Naruto's arm, their legs entangled. Every so often the tinny echo of a canned laugh would come from the TV, but otherwise it was just a quiet murmur of voices, too low to be distinguishable, just enough sound to take the edge off the quiet of the room.
Naruto's nose was buried in Sasuke's hair, and it took him a while to realise why there was something off about the scent coming from it. Sasuke's hair smelled different than usual, and only when Naruto remembered that he had washed it with his own shampoo rather than the one Sasuke usually used, did he realise why.
"I prefer your shampoo," he muttered, nuzzling against Sasuke's hair. At least it was still soft.
Sasuke made a noise that could possibly be interpreted as agreement. "That's because your shampoo is some cheap shit."
Naruto chuckled. "Well, excuse me for not wanting to pay out of my ass for glorified soap."
"Hn," Sasuke grunted, shifting, twisting his body around until he could prop himself up on Naruto's chest, arms crossed under his chin. Naruto lifted a hand to tuck a long bang behind Sasuke's ear, but it didn't stay there long, soon falling back to frame his face.
"You are too pretty," Naruto muttered, Sasuke just huffing and smirking and then craning his head up to kiss Naruto.
Naruto pressed back into the kiss, but refrained from doing anything to further it. He wasn't sure how Sasuke would be feeling, so he let him decide when to pull back and end the kiss.
He didn't. Instead he scooted up so they were nose against nose, chest against chest. His fingers curled up in Naruto's hair as he kissed harder, pulling Naruto right along into it. His tongue swept across Naruto's bottom lip, and Naruto parted his lips with a soft sigh, licking right back, tasting the coffee Sasuke had drunk earlier.
Naruto's hands were wrapped around Sasuke, fingers splayed over Sasuke's lower back where the hoodie had been pulled up by Sasuke twisting around. He traced along the dip of Sasuke's spine, down to the beginning curve of his ass, and then up towards his ribs. Sasuke's skin was smooth and slightly chilled, so Naruto made sure to warm it right up.
Sasuke's fingers were still in his hair, tilting Naruto's head to the side so he could trace soft kisses down his jaw to his neck, licking up the sensitive skin there, sending shivers down Naruto's back. His hips pressed up against Sasuke however much he tried to hold back, but with the way Sasuke tilted his own hips against him Naruto knew there were no objection on Sasuke's mind right now.
Their pace was unhurried. They touched and tasted, bodies pressing against each other, slowly getting rid of layers of clothing until there was nothing separating them. Sasuke was between Naruto's thighs, their erections perfectly aligned as they moved together, neither wanting or needing anything more than a slick slide of bodies.
Their cocks were made slicker by the lotion that Naruto very conveniently had on the shelf under his coffee table, because his hands sometimes got dry, if anyone asked. Naruto's arms were curved possessively around Sasuke's body, sliding up and down that perfect back, sometimes digging into muscles as Sasuke tilted his hips just right and Naruto had to tip his head back and moan as pleasure fired in him.
He loved having Sasuke on top of him, loved the weight of a body pressing against him, the smell of Sasuke's body in his nose, the taste of him on his tongue, and the soft sounds he made filling his ears.
"Sasuke," he moaned, knowing he wouldn't last long. His hands dipped down to curve around Sasuke's ass, pulling him closer as he lifted his hips. The friction of their hard lengths against each other was so good, pushing him closer and closer to the edge, a slow building in his guts. It would take very little to finish him off now, and he only hoped Sasuke would be just as close.
His fingers were slick with sweat, his own or Sasuke's he didn't know, but it made his fingers slip against the flesh in his hands, and he couldn't get the right grip to pull Sasuke close properly, leaving Sasuke to control the speed and the tilt of his hips. It was frustrating in the very best way, keeping Naruto right there, spiralling tighter and tighter but not giving him the final push to finally come.
His fingers moved towards the crack of Sasuke's ass, one finger slowly dragging over the puckered skin there, pressing against the hole, teasing but not anything more. Neither had been in the mood for any kind of preparations, so tonight they'd finish like this, pressed together, cock against cock.
"Hah," Sasuke said on a breath as he kissed Naruto hard and then pushed his upper body away, making Naruto's hand fall away to clutch at hips instead. Sasuke kept his weight on one hand as he pushed the other between their bodies, curling long fingers around their lengths. Naruto knew what he was doing, following with one of his hands. Their cocks were completely covered by their hands as they worked together, always together, quick flicks of wrists and twists of hands, finishing what they had been working towards.
Naruto's hips jerked as he came, thick strings decorating his abdomen and their hands, and with a final sharp tug Sasuke added to it, coming hard with a sharp intake of breath.
For a few heartbeats Sasuke stayed like that, poised over him, eyes hooded, breathing hard, then he merely collapsed against Naruto, face tucked against his neck.
Naruto's arms went around him, holding him tight to him. His heart was thrumming hard in his chest, and he was slick with sweat and come and soon it would probably be too cold to stay like this, but for now it was perfection.
"I really needed that," Sasuke muttered against his neck.
"I did too," Naruto added, eyes closed and a smile curving his lips.
Kakashi looked at the two agents standing in front of his desk, watching how Naruto was standing pressed up against Sasuke's side, offering silent support, probably not even realising he was doing it.
Naruto had given a quick report when he called in the cleaners last night, but he had apparently skipped right past the big points. Having an agent get a panic attack in the field wasn't just bad for their reputation; it was life-threatening, to both agents. Agents were paired up for a reason, being there to protect each other, and having one of them suddenly freeze up was beyond bad.
He figured he shouldn't be surprised. Sasuke was hardly the first agent to have an episode, and with everything he had gone through it was a wonder it hadn't come before. Kakashi had been sceptical to letting the two of them back on active duty, and Shizune had likewise, but Sasuke had seemed stable, and he was eager to get back in the field, and they were understaffed, so he had begrudgingly allowed it.
Apparently that had been the wrong call.
"You know there are no way I can allow you to work now," he said, leaning back in his chair. They were both aware of the fact, Kakashi knew that much, but he still caught a tensing in both of their faces at the confirmation. They wanted to be out there, wanted to do their job, but however much Kakashi appreciated that dedication he was not about to sacrifice either of them. Fighting vampires was a nasty business, and he needed them both to be fit for duty before he let them out on the streets again.
"I'm setting up an appointment with Shizune tomorrow. Miss a single one and you are out for good."
Sasuke looked like he was about to argue, but Naruto nudged his shoulder, and the fight passed right out of him. "Yes," he conceded, looking resigned but hardly ecstatic at the thought of sessions with Shizune. Agents were notorious for doing whatever they could to get out of therapy, Kakashi included. He didn't envy Shizune her job.
"You are among my best agents, I want you to make an effort, I need you back here, fit for fight," Kakashi said, and Sasuke nodded stiffly. "In the meanwhile I'm giving you new duties. For today you will sort through the reports and file them correspondingly. I will talk to Director Tsunade about giving you some investigative duties; maybe get you to do some work for the training course. We certainly need new agents, and if you two don't scare them away I'm sure they'll fit right in at the DPA later."
Naruto snorted and Sasuke rolled his eyes. Maybe he needed to take them to Tsunade's office to let her deal with them, they wouldn't be scoffing at her, not without walking out of there with a broken limb or two, or at least a foot lodged firmly up their backside. The director of their DPA branch wasn't known to go easy on anyone.
Kakashi nudged a stack of reports that had piled up on his desk, wincing when it nearly toppled over. He hated paperwork, and this was a perfect opportunity to delegate that to someone else. "You know what to do with these. I'm going to upstairs for a meeting with the other unit leaders; I expect it to be finished when I get back. Then maybe you can clean the bullpen or something."
He waved and left the office, ignoring the daggers Sasuke was shooting at his back. At least it was metaphorical daggers; he wouldn't put it past Sasuke to go for the real deal.
He just hoped Shizune could help Sasuke; he'd hate to see him discharged for being unfit for duty. Sasuke had potential to be more than just an outstanding agent, if he just got over his deep-rooted issues. It would have been so much easier if his agents weren't a bunch of ill adjusted misfits.
Ah, who was he kidding? You had to be a little insane to go work with the DPA in the first place. He should know as he was probably he worst of the bunch. He straightened his mask as he walked towards the elevators, wondering how far he could push Tsunade before she snapped at him today.
A/N: I swear, I do feel bad for all the shit I put these guys through.
