-X-
Two days later:
"You won't even tell me where you're going?" Willow murmured sadly.
Tara looked back at the red-haired woman. Her bags were packed, sitting by the door, and the cab was waiting for her outside.
"What if I need to find you?" Willow asked.
Tara stepped towards her, reaching out and taking Willow's face gently in her hands. "I'm going to come back." She murmured. She noticed the tears that Willow was trying to hide. "I just need to get better first. And I don't know how long that will be."
Willow looked away from Tara, closing her eyes softly and shaking her head. "Please stay." She whispered, opening her eyes and staring pleadingly at Tara.
Tara's heart fell apart, her own tears gathering in the corner of her eyes. "I can't." she muttered.
Willow closed her eyes, her breath catching in her throat. She pulled herself out of Tara's reach, crossing her arms over her chest.
Tara's hands fell to her sides, the pieces of her heart shattering even further. "Willow –"
Willow sat down on the couch, facing away from the door. "I don't understand," She muttered. "I can help you. We can figure this out together."
Tara kneeled beside her on the floor. "Willow, my darling, please. Look at me," she pleaded. Willow's looked over at the other woman, kneeling on the floor. The tears had spilled over, and were running freely down Willow's cheeks. Tara brushed them away softly with the pad of her thumb. "I can't take the chance that I might hurt you."
Willow turned to Tara. "But you don't have to go." She insisted. "You can stay in the bedroom, and I can stay out here on the couch and it'll work, I promise. Please, baby, please -" She begged. "I need you here. I couldn't stand it last time. I barely slept, and I nearly went off the deep end. I almost killed Dawn and myself. Please, Tara, I need you to stay." She sobbed.
Tara's tears had made their way down her cheeks as she listened to Willow's pleading. She took a deep breath, biting her lip, and shook her head. "I-I can't." she murmured. She grabbed Willow's hands and held onto them firmly, staring up at her. "Willow, please. Please. I have to do this."
Willow's head dropped. She tore her hands out of Tara's, pulling her knees up to her chest and hugging them tightly. She watched through her tears as Tara wiped away her own tears and headed towards the door. "Tara," she murmured, lifting her head one last time. "I love you."
Tara choked back her tears, glancing softly back at Willow. "I'll be back as soon as I can." She whispered. She grabbed her bags and headed out the door, resting her back against it once it was closed. She could hear Willow beginning to weep inside, and she quickly forced herself outside before she could rush back in to her.
-X-
Two weeks later:
Willow knew that it was for the best. That Tara leaving probably gave her the opportunity to rest and get her strength back. She knew that everything she had suggested wouldn't have worked. That if Tara had stayed and she had slept on the couch, she still would have woken to Tara's screams, and she would have laid there to comfort her, and nothing would have changed. But it still felt like she had been abandoned. And she knew that she had only told Tara that she loved her to try to get her to stay. She would have done anything to have her stay. It wasn't that she didn't love Tara, she did, but she knew that she shouldn't have tried to force her to stay by saying it.
"Will? Willow!"
Willow glanced back up at Buffy, shaking her head. "Sorry, what?"
Buffy sighed slightly. "Will, I know that you're worried about her, but we need to focus."
Willow nodded. "No, I know. You're right. I'm sorry." She said, glancing back down at her computer. "It looks like he stole some mechanical parts, money and a couple guns."
"Great, just what Warren needs more of. Guns." Xander said sarcastically.
Buffy glanced at the computer. "Does it look like he's going to build another robot?" she asked.
Willow shrugged. "It could be. But he wouldn't have everything he needed just from this place. He'd need to get some spare metal, and some computer parts too." She glanced at the inventory again. "Uh oh."
Buffy looked back at Willow. "What, Uh oh?"
"Well, if this list is right, it looks like he stole enough parts to make at least four new bots." Willow said darkly.
Buffy sighed. "This just keeps getting better and better."
-X-
Tara sighed as she stared at the phone. She had picked it up so many times, intending to call Willow. Let her know that she was alright. That it wouldn't be too much longer. That she would be home soon. But every time she picked up the phone, she could hear Willow's voice pleading with her to come home. So she put it off, every time telling herself that she would call her the next day, but it never happened. Finally she found herself picking up the phone, dialing their number, and clutching the receiver with both hands. It rang for what felt like an eternity before a voice answered on the other line.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Xander?" She asked, not totally sure if it was him. The connection wasn't the best and it sounded slightly garbled.
"Tara, is that you? How are you?" He asked.
Tara smiled softly. "I'm-m doing alright. Thanks." She responded. "Scooby meeting?"
"Yeah, we got a lead on Warren. It's pretty slim, but it's not nothing." He said. Tara could almost hear the smirk in his voice.
"Th-that's great. I'm glad." She said. "Is W-Willow there?" she asked.
"Oh, yeah, just a sec-" There was some muffled talking, and noise like Xander had just covered the mouthpiece with his hand. "Uh, she actually just stepped out for a sec." Tara could tell he was lying through his teeth. "Do you want me to take down a number so she can call you back?" He asked.
Tara's face fell. "N-no. We aren't really s-sus-supposed to give out numbers here." She murmured. "J-just tell her that I miss her and I'm doing my best to get home to her soon."
"Of course." Xander said. "We miss you."
Tara smiled softly. "Thanks. I miss you guys too."
"Bye."
"Bye." Tara dropped the phone slowly, holding it against her chest before hanging it up.
-X-
Buffy glared at Willow, shaking her head slightly.
"What?" Willow said defensively.
"You're not even going to talk to her now?" Buffy said, sitting next to Willow.
"It's not that I don't want to talk to her," Willow said. "She made it perfectly clear that she needed to focus on herself. So that's what she's doing. And I'm helping her by giving her space to do that." Willow muttered, glancing at Buffy sideways from her computer screen.
"Oh please." Buffy scoffed.
"What?" Willow responded.
"When she left, we didn't hear from you for three days. And even then, we only knew that you were alright because I came over and broke the door down."
"Yeah, thanks for that, by the way. We're definitely not getting our security deposit back now." Willow said.
"My point is," Buffy continued. "You are avoiding her because either you said something you regret, or she said something that made you so uncomfortable that you are now avoiding talking about it."
Willow stared back down at her computer screen, glancing over at Xander, who managed to take a hint.
"I am going to go and get some snacks." He said, smiling widely and making a grand gesture of leaving the apartment.
Buffy narrowed her eyes as the door shut behind him. "Spill."
Willow sighed, closing the computer and pulling her knees up to her chest. "Itoderioveder." Willow muttered.
"What?"
"I told her I loved her, okay?!" Willow exclaimed. "And it's not that I don't love her, I do! It's just –" she sighed. "I didn't do it right. I said it because I thought it would make her stay, but it didn't and now everything is just all screwed up."
Buffy shook her head slightly. "Okay, so that is definitely is not the 'right' way to tell someone," she said. "But if you really love this girl, you're going to have to talk to her eventually. Because sooner or later, she's going to come home to you. And my bet is that she's trying to get home to you as fast as she can."
-X-
