Harry was at a loss for words (literally, since he had no mouth). His true love, his beloved Ginny Weasley, had a death curse heading straight for her chest. And there was nothing that he could do to stop it.
There were so many things that he hadn't done with Ginny. He had never told her that she was the single most beautiful person in all of Hogwarts (Cho who?). He had never gone on an actual date with her. He hadn't ever mentioned that he had completely ripped-off "Spider-Man 2" by breaking up with her.
And, worst of all, he had never once seen her naked.
Had Harry had a mouth at the time, he would have screamed. But there was nothing that he could do. Nothing at all. The Avada Kedavra would strike Ginny, and she would die.
Were things happening in slow motion or something, because Harry had more than enough time to reflect on his feelings for Ginny as her doom soared on over to her.
Or maybe it was just Harry. He knew that, when someone was having a near-death experience, life seemed to slow down. It had happened to Harry, oh, only nine times.
Whatever was happening to time, be it Harry's imagination or a broken Time Turner, Ginny pulled out a mirror from under her robes.
Why did Ginny keep a mirror under her robes? It must've been a girl thing. But it saved her life, for at that moment, the death curse hit the mirror and bounced back at the one who fired it.
"NO!", screamed Greg, and if Harry believed that this goblin was one of those cheap Fanfiction villains who got killed off in the fourth chapter, he was mistaken. Greg jumped out of the way and the death curse struck the closet door behind him.
The closet door was smashed to shreds, releasing the imprisoned Luna Lovegood.
Greg's eyes widened. He looked very excited for some reason.
"Do you have it?", he asked her.
"No", said Luna simply. "And Harry doesn't either".
"He doesn't?", said Greg. "How come?".
"Because a Death Eater killed the owl who sent it", said Luna with a small shrug.
"Blast", said Greg. "That bloody man beat me to my promotion".
"LOVEGOOD!"
Harry turned around and saw Mad-Eye Moody clunking towards them.
"WHAT DID I TELL YOU?", he screamed, grabbing Luna by the shoulders and shaking her wildly. "WHAT DID YOU TELL THEM!".
"Only that Harry didn't have the secret message from Dumbledore's most trusted agent", Luna answered.
Greg looked furious. So did Moody.
"So I wasted time on this train for NOTHING?", Greg exclaimed.
"No, you didn't", said Moody. "You got yourself captured by Mad-Eye Moody, and sent straight to Azkaban".
And with that, Moody picked up Greg by one of his ears and pointed a wand as his neck.
"Not today, Woody!", yelled Greg, pulling out a knife and jamming it into Moody's normal eye.
"OH, MERLIN'S BEARD!", screamed Moody, dropping Greg and covering his injured eye with both hands. "NOW I'LL BE NEEDING ANOTHER MAGICAL EYE!".
If Harry had had a mouth, he would have surely barfed, for the sight of Moody right now was, like, beyond disgusting.
Greg pulled out a small horn and blew into it. Seconds later, all of his remaining goblins ran over to him.
"We're leaving this train!", he said. "There's nothing that we need here!".
So all of the goblins opened a nearby window and jumped out, one by one. Greg was the last one to jump, and before he did so, he looked at Harry with a look of fury in his eyes. "I'll be back!", he whispered, and then he was gone.
Harry didn't know what to say (and if he had, he couldn't anyway, so it didn't matter). This had easily been the most dangerous thing that had ever happened to him while he was on the Hogwarts Express. Ron and Hermione also kept quiet, but they also had no mouths, so that might've been a reason.
Mad-Eye Moody was rubbing his bleeding eye with a dish towel. He looked very tired.
"Well, Potter, you did good", he gasped. "You're a pretty good liar, you know that? I almost believed you when you said that you didn't have it".
Harry shook his head.
"Oh, right", said Moody, pulling out his wand and waving it in front of Harry's face. Instantly, Harry felt his mouth reappear.
"I don't have it, Professor", said Harry. "Luna was right. A Death Eater stole the message".
"WHAT!", Moody growled. "You mean to tell me that a Death Eater has a message from Dumbledore's most trusted agent!".
Harry then explained to Moody everything that had happened in the first chapter. Moody nodded grimly.
"Well, it's better than him getting away with it", he said. "You were lucky not to be eaten, though, Potter".
"The sad thing is that I never got to read the message myself", sighed Harry. "Otherwise I might know who Dumbledore's most trusted agent is".
"I do", said Luna. "It's--".
"DON'T YOU DARE!", growled Moody, and he grabbed Luna by the arm and clunked off with her.
"I wonder what they're hiding from me", said Harry, stating the obvious.
Hermione and Ron said nothing.
"Oh sorry", said Harry. He cautiously pulled out his wand and waved it in front of their chins. Both of their mouths were returned to their normal places.
"Bloody hell", said Ron. "That was really weird".
"You said it, Ronald", said Hermione. "But if you ask me, we're lucky to be alive right now".
After half an hour of talking with Ron and Hermione about all that had just happened, the train arrived at the King's Cross station in London.
"We'll walk you home, Harry", said Hermione, when she saw that the Dursleys were not there to pick him up.
"Yeah, Dad said that it would be alright", said Ron.
And so, despite the fact that it was a very dangerous time for three teenagers to be walking a great distance, Harry, Ron and Hermione started walking to Privet Drive.
On the way there, they came across a thrift shop.
"Let's go in", said Ron. "I've never been in a Muggle thrift shop before".
"Yes, and it would be fun to go shopping after all we've been through today", said Hermione.
After all, everyone loved going shopping after they had just been to a funeral.
Anyway, the three of them entered the thrift shop. It was full of all sorts of Muggle things that just facinated Ron.
"Oh, Dad would love to see this stuff", he kept saying at every other minute.
Eventually, the came upon a pair of jeans.
"I think", said Hermione, "That I will try this on".
Hermione took the jeans, ran into a dressing room, and came out wearing them. They fit her perfectly.
"Wow", said Ron. "Hermione, you look sexy".
Hermione grew very pink. "Well, I say that you try them on".
"No way", said Ron. "Jeans are girl's pants".
But Hermione looked at Ron in such a stern way that he forced himself to try the jeans on.
"Bloody hell", he said. "They fit me perfectly. Harry, you try them on".
Harry rolled his eyes, but he didn't see any way out of doing this, so he had to try them on.
"They fit me really well", said Harry, impressed. "They're certainly a nice change from Dudley's old pants at home".
"I just had a brainstorm", said Hermione brightly. "Why don't we all share these jeans? Harry could wear them for a week, then send them to Ron, and he would wear them for a week, and so on".
"I like it", said Ron. "After all, it's not every day that you find magic jeans in a Muggle thrift shop".
"But, um, isn't this kinda stolen from another story?", Harry asked slowly.
"No way", said Hermione. "What would make you think that?".
"I don't know, it just sounds like something I've heard before", said Harry. "Besides, I don't even think they're magic pants. Our butts are all the same size".
What Harry really wanted was for Ron or Hermione to offer him the chance to keep the jeans for himself. But that didn't happen, so after Hermione paid for them with Muggle money, Harry walked off for the Dursley's house wearing the "Traveling Pants".
"Remember", Hermione called after him. "Don't wash the pants. It might spoil their magic!".
Harry couldn't believe that this was happening. What Ron and Hermione saw as a way to bind their freindship was something that Harry saw as extremely stupid. But as he walked up to the steps of his home on Privet Drive, he'd find better things to worry about.
Such as the person who was following his every step...
