Harry was about to open the door to the household of the Dursleys when he heard it.

Rustle! Rustle! Rustle!

"Hmmmm", said Harry, pulling out his wand. "Someone might've followed me home".

It was already night, so Harry muttered "Lumos", making his wand into an instant flashlight.

He looked around. He couldn't see anyone. Then again, the noise sounded as though it came from a bush or something.

"I'd better investigate", he said.

So Harry looked behind a few bushes.

No one.

"Sigh", Harry sighed, walking back up the steps. "I guess it was just my imagination".

He opened the door and went inside, slamming it shut behind him.

Ludo Bagman put a hand over his chest and took a deep, long breath.

"Phew", he puffed. "That was close". Then, to make his line a bit more cliche, he added, "Too close".

He had been following Harry home in an invisibility cloak, so as not to be seen (duh?). He had almost been caught, however, when he tripped and fell into a bush.

Fortunately, Harry hadn't felt around the bush that he fell into while he was searching for his stalker.

And it was a good thing, too. Had he failed in what he was doing, he, Ludo Bagman, would surely face the wrath of his master.

Yes, it had been close.

Too close.

"Well", he said to himself, once he was sure that Harry was staying inside. "I may as well go tell my master where Harry Potter is. He should be most pleased with me".

He got up and looked around, just to see that the coast was clear. The street was, for the most part, empty. And as for the few people taking evening strolls, they were clearly Muggles and would not be any trouble for him.

He got on his broom, the invisibilty cloak still over him, and flew off to Voldemort's secret hideout.

Once he got to Voldemort's secret hideout, he got off his broom.

Then he walked over to the door of Volemort's secret hideout, pulled off his invisibility cloak, and knocked.

I do hope that he's in a good mood today, Bagman thought nervously.

The door creeked open, and a masked figure poked his head out.

"Password", it hissed.

"Password?", said Bagman. "Since when is there a password here?".

"Since this morning", hissed the black figure.

"Sherbet Lemon?", guessed Bagman. He was in a real fix if he couldn't guess the password.

"No", said the masked figure.

Bagman took another shot. "Baldardash?".

"No".

"Fantastic Four?".

"No".

"Merlin's Beard?".

"No".

"Angelina Pitt? Brad Jolie? Kevin Zellweger? Renne Chesney? Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans? Blast Ended Muggles?".

"No, no, no, no, no and NO!".

Bagman was taken aback by the masked figure's shout.

"This is your last guess", the man warned.

Bagman could feel himself sweating. He had to get this right.

"Are you going to guess or not?", asked the masked figure, clearly getting annoyed.

"Yes", said Bagman. "Avada Kedavra!".

Thud!

The masked figure fell down dead. Bagman tucked his wand back into his pocket, chuckling slightly as he entered Voldemort's secret hideout.

"That trick always works", he said to himself.

"Bagman? Issss that you?", hissed a voice.

Bagman's chuckles stopped abruptly. He knew that to be the voice of Ralph Fiennes, which meant...

"My Lord", said Bagman, as calmly as he could. "I bring good news to you".

"Then, come in", said Voldemort's voice. "You know where I am".

Bagman walked over to the single most frightening door in all of Voldemort's secret hideout and walked inside.

Voldemort was sitting in his throne. He had recently taken a liking to doing this.

"My Lord", said Bagman, catching his breath. "I bring you news on the Potter boy".

"My deer Ludo Bagman, he is no longer a boy", hissed Voldemort. "Why, he'll be coming of age in just a few weeks".

"Of course, my Lord", said Bagman. "I am sorry, my Lord. Forgive me, my Lord. I am a fool, my Lord".

"You are right on the last one", said Voldemort. "Now, tell me what you have learned".

"I have learned", said Bagman, trying to keep his face straight, "Where Harry Potter lives".

Voldemort leaned in closer to Bagman without standing up from his throne.

"Continue", he said.

"Well", said Bagman. "He lives on Number 4, Privet Drive".

Voldemort leaned in still closer.

"Are you sure?", he hissed.

"Yes", said Bagman. "I am certain of it. I saw him walk up to the house, wearing this sweet pair of jeans, I will note. He looked around a bit before entering, as though making sure that no one had followed him. Then, a minute later, he opened the door and went inside".

"And he lives on Number 4, Privet Drive?", hissed Voldemort.

"Yes", said Bagman.

"Ah", said Voldemort. "I am not surprised. I should've known that he was there when a Dementor was spotted in that area".

"Potter sent it away, my Lord", said Bagman. "You do remember, don't you?".

"Yes, I remember", said Voldemort, his lips curling. "It almost landed Potter in Azkaban".

"So you are pleased with me, my Lord?", said Bagman.

"Yes", said Voldemort. "Stupid as you are, and much as you have denied working for me, I am pleased with you".

Bagman sighed with relief. Then he cleared his throat. Should he continue speaking? No, he shouldn't. It would upset the Dark Lord. It would...

"There is something that you wish to say, Bagman", hissed Voldemort.

"No, my Lord", said Bagman, suddenly scared. "It is ...nothing".

"You lie", said Voldemort. "You wish to ask me a favor, Bagman. You wish to ask Lord Voldemort for a favor".

"No!", said Bagman. "I just..."

"What is it?", said Voldemort, and the demand in his voice was clear.

"Well", said Bagman, growing quite pale. "It's about ...the next movie".

A pause.

"Go on", hissed Voldemort.

"I was just wondering, my Lord, just wondering", said Bagman. "If it is really to late for me to be in it".

Voldemort laughed, causing Bagman to nearly jump out of his skin.

"You fool", said Voldemort, still laughing. "Production on 'Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire' is complete. It has already been rated PG-13, don't you know? You were cut for good reason, Bagman, because your character was weak and pointless. I applaud Warner Bros. for their decision".

"Fine, my Lord!", Bagman cried. "I meant no offense, my Lord! Forgive me, my Lord! I am sorry, my Lord!".

"Get out", said Voldemort. "I have a meeting with my most faithful servent in a moment, and I wish for you not to be here".

"Of course, my Lord", said Bagman, bowing to his master. "I will leave you".

And with that, Ludo Bagman bolted out the door, nearly tripping over the body of the mysterious masked figure on his way out of Voldemort's secret hideout.