Manda had heard a familiar ringtone go off on her phone earlier, one that had been assigned to only one person in her phone. Usually she'd laugh and smile when she heard it, but she had been ignoring it the past few days. She knew who it was and why he was calling. He'd already left a few messages.
The screen held words "1 new voice message" on it, so she dialled her inbox.
"Damn it Manda, pick up. Where the hell are you? You need to check in with me. Call when you get this. Let me know where you are, if you need anything, that you're okay."
She froze at hearing the strained and protective tones in Dean's voice.
The first time he had called was eight days ago, that had been the second day of her missing eight. This was now his fourth message since then, and it was about to be nine days since the first one. He had also been the one calling which had woken her up in her car, and that was six days after his first call. Dean had been wondering where she since she hadn't called him back like she normally did, never mind what he must have been thinking by now.
Manda let her fingers type for a second on the keypad.
I'm fine, don't worry will call soon.
She read it again, hesitated for a minute or two, and then finally hit send. She wasn't fine, and she wasn't sure if she was calling him soon or not, but that's what she had to send.
She shut off her phone and sighed deeply. Dean would probably call again now that she had responded to him, maybe he'd wait a few hours to try to appear like it he wasn't too worried, but he'd call again soon enough if she didn't.
Manda knew she had to call him back, but right now she couldn't. How could she call Dean and tell him that she needed him? That she had no idea what had happened to her, what was going on still, and that she just needed him in so many ways right now?
Dean would gun that Impala of his as fast as he could to get to her if she just said she needed him. She knew that much, but she didn't want to worry him or drag him into whatever mess this was going to be.
Manda didn't want to put any of this on him, he didn't deserve it. She wanted to turn to him, but feared it was just too much to ask of him. A part of her knew that it wasn't since Dean had looked after her before and he would again if that's what she needed from him, but this was different then the last time he had done that for her. She wasn't stupidly drunk and being careless, and he wasn't around to just take her away from anything, make sure she was safe and take care of her.
Calling Dean and telling him she needed him was something Manda didn't think she could do. He'd hear it in her voice even if she choked on the words and she knew she would. If she said she needed him, well, that was too much for her to admit to, and probably too much for him to hear.
If they were actually dating then Manda knew it would be easier to call him now. To just tell him what was going on, that she needed him and to plant his foot to the floor to get here, but they weren't. Instead they just had some sort of thing that she didn't quite understand or know what it made them. Maybe that was her fault, she held back on what she wanted because of her past, what she felt about the lives they led and the fact that she believed she couldn't hold on to him.
Manda wanted to push for something more from him, but she didn't know how to. She wasn't even sure that's what she really wanted in the end, because letting herself love Dean completely scared the hell out of her still. And now it seemed she was right to hold off because once again she was being shown that love just wasn't something she shouldn't take chances with. That something would come along and destroy it again.
Manda wasn't exactly sure what she meant to Dean, it's not like he had asked her for anything more than what they had either, but he would be here if he knew she'd been possessed.
She wondered what it would cost her if he did come though. Everything had a price, and Manda feared that if she did call him that price was going to be too high. Her history had taught her that before, and she feared the cost would be him or her. And if it wasn't, then it might be whatever they had or could have if one of them bothered to admit they wanted something more.
There seemed to be no right or wrong way to go about anything, so she put her head in her hands for awhile and thought.
Manda had been hiding out in her house for two days since she'd woken up parked out front of it, and she knew it wasn't helping anything. She'd barely slept or eaten, and she hadn't remembered or found anything online that could help her figure out where she might have gone and who she had probably murdered under a demon's influence.
Then there was the fact that the scars down her back had been itching again like they had a day or two before she'd gone missing, and had started to look like they had never healed this time. That didn't make any sense to her, and she couldn't find anything about why they would be like that either.
She needed help figuring things out, and she knew it. Even though she hated to ask for help, there wasn't any other choice for her right now.
Manda sighed again, turned her phone back on and called Chuch. She didn't want to avoid Dean, but right now she didn't know what she would or could say to him, and if there was one person she could trust to help her now besides him, it was Chuch.
-
Chuch had gotten off the phone with Manda awhile ago. She was in her car and on the way over there now. Manda needed help and Chuch was going to give her that help, but she knew who Manda hadn't called yet and had asked her not to call either.
One hand on the wheel, the other pushing the call button on Sam's number, Chuch was going to go behind her friend's back now. She knew she shouldn't, but at the same time Dean needed to know, and she was sure Manda needed him now.
The phone rang a few times and then Sam answered sleepily. "Hello?"
"Sam, sorry to wake you," Chuch apologized.
"It's all right. What's going on Chuch?" Sam asked, as he looked at his watch and noticed the time now. Calls in the middle of the night were usually never a good thing.
"Um… there's a bit of a problem and I wanted to run it by you first."
"Okay," Sam's voice became more alert now. He was waking up fast. "Tell me what's going on."
"Well… I wasn't supposed to call you or Dean, but I had to call one of you. Manda needs help, and I thought you could let Dean know." Chuch had thought about calling Dean first, but she knew Sam better, and he knew his brother better than she did so he'd know how to tell him whatever he needed to know.
"What kind of help? Is she okay?" Sam knew he should wake Dean up, but he wanted to wait until he heard the rest of this before he told his brother anything. If she was seriously injured or something had gone really wrong then Sam had to know how to break it to him.
"She's okay as far as I know. But she was possessed Sam, she lost eight days and has no memory of what happened during that time. She woke up two days ago in her car covered in someone else's blood."
"Shit," Sam said as he remembered what it was like to be possessed. It was no fun to worry about what you had done, and it was even worse to know the truth about what you had done during that time.
"Manda can't find anything that indicates where she was, and nothing on what she might have done, so whatever it was hasn't been found yet. So she asked for my help, but I think she might be leaving out a detail or two as well. She said she'd tell me the rest when I see her." Chuch believed there was more since her friend had a bad habit of not telling everything there was to tell.
Sam sighed. Things could have been worse for her, but knowing you'd been possessed was never easy to handle. Dean was going to want to go see her once he found out, so Sam knew what he had to ask next. "Where is she now?"
"At home," Chuch replied.
"Home?" Sam sounded puzzled as he asked.
"Yeah, she's got a house. She goes there sometimes when she needs a break, and lets me use it for that too. Now I don't know if Dean knows where it is or if he even knows about it, but that's where she is." Chuch wasn't sure if Manda had even let Dean know she still held on to her family's house. She'd been there herself plenty of times when she needed a break from the road, Manda let her use it whenever she wanted since she was never there anyway.
"Okay," Sam said weirdly. He had never heard Dean mention it, so maybe Manda had never told him.
Chuch gave Sam the details and learned they were about a little over nine hours away from there. Chuch was about ten hours out now from the other direction herself.
"Manda should have called him, he's been trying to get a hold of her," Sam said to her.
"But she didn't, and you know how those two are," Chuch replied. "I know she asked me, but I'm sure she wanted to ask him instead. You'll tell him right?"
"Yeah, I'll tell him. He won't like it, but I'll let him know." Sam knew it was true. Dean was going to be a little pissed off that she hadn't called him when something like this was going on. Even if there was nothing he could do for her now, he would have wanted to know about it.
"Sorry Sam. But look, I should go, so I'll see you there."
"It's okay, and thanks for letting me know. See you there Chuch." Sam disconnected and sat there on for a moment while he figured the best way to let his brother know.
"Wake up Dean," Sam called out fairly loud.
Dean mumbled something, turned over and remained asleep.
Sam got up, took the few steps over to the other bed and shook his brother. "Dean, get up."
Dean grabbed Sam's arm and twisted a bit before he let go as his eyes opened and saw that it was just Sam.
"Forget it Sammy, I'm not cuddling with you because you had a bad dream," Dean smirked a little and groaned just a bit. Sam usually never woke him up unless there was something wrong.
Sam shot Dean annoyed glare.
"What it is?" Dean yawned out the question.
"It's about Manda." Sam went back and sat on his bed now.
"Don't tell me she called you instead of me." Dean sat up now as he wondered what Sam knew that he didn't. He'd gotten a text from her earlier, but it hadn't said anything about where she was or what had kept her from calling back. He had held off on calling her back when it had come through because he trusted her word that she would call soon just like it said. He hadn't wanted to appear too worried about her either, but his few messages had probably told her that anyway.
"She didn't call either of us, she called Chuch," Sam paused, seeing that Dean was already awake, ready to move, and he didn't even know anything yet. "She needs help Dean."
"Help, what kind of help? What happened?" Dean had his legs over the side of the bed, and was reaching for his jeans and shirt now.
"I don't know everything, just what little Chuch told me." Sam knew Dean was wishing she had called him first, especially if she needed help.
"What did she tell you?" Dean stopped getting dressed then, and looked at his brother seriously. He needed to know what happened, and he hoped it wasn't too awful.
"Manda was possessed for eight days and has no memory of what happened during that time. When she finally came to she was covered in blood that wasn't hers," Sam told Dean calmly.
"What?" he asked with surprise and anger at the same time. Manda had been possessed, and not called him when she was back to normal. He had told her if she needed anything to just call, so why didn't she realize by now that he would do whatever he could to help, protect and look after her. "Fine and calling soon my ass," he muttered and sat there on the bed in a bit of disbelief.
"So that explains why she didn't check in when you first called her." Sam knew Dean was wondering why she hadn't called at first and now after, especially given the fact of whatever it was they had with each other. He didn't dare tell Dean she'd been avoiding him for two days now though.
"Did Chuch tell you where Manda is now?" Dean hoped Sam had gotten that information.
"She's at home apparently." Sam looked for the reaction his brother would give, wondering if he knew about the house.
"She went home? What the hell is she doing there?" Dean knew Manda had a house somewhere since she had joked about getting him to ditch Sam and meet her there for a perfect weekend, but she had never told him where it was. He knew she didn't really like going there, and if that's where she was then she had to be seeking something safe and comforting, which meant she should have called him too. She knew he'd be there if she just asked him to be, but she was so stubborn sometimes it was frustrating.
"You know where that is?" Sam asked as he looked at Dean surprised. He'd never heard about it, but then again whatever Dean and Manda talked about wasn't really anything that got shared with Sam unless he was around them or he overheard a bit of a call.
"No, did you find out where it is?" Dean got up and fully dressed now.
"Yeah, I knew you would want to go," Sam said.
"How far out are we?" Dean was now packing up and making sure he had everything.
"Nine hours, give or take."
"So we'll be there in about eight, let's go."
"Dude… slow down. It's the middle of the night, and she's obviously not going anywhere if she's at home." Sam just looked at Dean in a bit of disbelief at how fast he wanted to rush over there.
"And we'll make it there by the afternoon if we leave now. Let's go Sam." Dean picked up his stuff and headed out the door to the Impala.
Sam sighed as he packed up his stuff and got ready to leave. He knew Dean was angry, worried, and going into that protective mode. He was sure Manda was going to get an earful when Dean showed up, but Sam also knew she wasn't expecting them. Sam knew that was going to be a bit comical to watch. The two of them were bound to fight if Dean started on her for not calling him, and even if she was panicking over what had happened to her, she wouldn't just take it from his brother.
Dean waited in the car. Sam might have been right, it was the middle of the night and Manda wasn't going anywhere if she was at home. She'd be there worrying and trying to figure things out. But if he showed up, then he could help her with that and whatever else she needed.
He wanted to call her again, but figured it was better if she didn't know he was on his way to her now. She was so stubborn sometimes that Dean knew she'd probably run if she knew he was coming. So he'd just show up and deal with her then. He was a bit angry, but he was more worried about what had happened to her and how she was dealing with it. Manda could be tough, but she had a side that was far from that hiding inside of her, and he knew that part of her would probably be taking over now.
Sam came out to the car and tossed his stuff in the trunk before he got in the car.
"You do realize Chuch wasn't supposed to call us right?" Sam asked as Dean started pulling out of the hotel's parking lot. "That Manda asked her not to?"
"I know Sam," Dean's tone was annoyed. Leave it to Sam to remind him she didn't want to turn to him or even tell him.
"So we're just going to show up then?" Sam looked at Dean from across the seat. This was going to be quite the reunion, and certainly not the one he knew his brother had been wanting with her.
"That's the plan whether she likes it or not."
Sam chuckled. "I'm guessing not, and that you're going to end up taking a hit or two."
"Maybe, but it'll be worth it later." Dean half chuckled and grinned a little at Sam as he tried to keep his real mood from showing.
He knew his brother was right though. She wasn't going to like it, but right now that was too bad for her. He was going to show up anyway, and maybe Manda would try to punch him when he confronted her, but that didn't matter. She needed him, and he knew that. Dean just didn't understand why she hadn't called and asked him to come though, especially after the way she had struggled with it at first, but then had decided and started to let him in to her life and her heart.
Sam told him where they were heading, and Dean pressed his foot a little harder on the gas pedal. He wasn't sure what he was going to find when they got there either, because not only was Manda bound to be stressed out from being possessed, she was also somewhere he knew she wasn't comfortable being – a place that was filled with her past. Throw in the anger she'd have at Chuch for going behind her back that was causing the surprise visit he was about to make, and he knew Manda was going to lose it quickly. Dean just hoped she'd let him pick her up when she did lose it, but even if she didn't, he'd still do it anyway.
So, Dean's on his way to Manda now even though she hasn't called him yet. Maybe he's jumping the gun, but he cares about her and he knows how she can be. So off to see her it is... but what will happen when he gets there?
As for Manda... well, she should have called him instead of avoiding him, but she's just too stubborn sometimes.
Thanks for reading and review if you please!
