When Harry Potter woke up the next morning, he was still very sleepy, because he had been up half the night trying to figure out who it was who had burned down the hospital.

No, that wasn't it. He had actually been up all night wondering why Mr. Weasley had warned him to be extra careful in such a suspicious way.

And, of course, there was another thing that kept him up all night, causing him to do insane things like making love to his pillow.

"Ginny", he whispered.

He couldn't deny it. He was deeply in love with her. He had no idea why it had taken him so long to realize it.

After all, at the end of the fifth book, he thought that he might be in love with Luna Lovegood!

Perhaps it was because Ginny had always loved him. She had loved him before he even knew who he was. And he had saved Ginny's life. And she had saved his. Well, no, she hadn't saved his. Maybe she would someday. In fact, maybe she would die saving...

Harry Potter stopped himself from finishing that thought. It would be just like JK Rowling to kill off a character as fragile as Ginny Weasley.

"I was right to dump her", he whispered. "After all, it is the people who are close to me who seem to be the ones to die. Dumbledore. Sirius. Aragog".

Harry gulped before he whispered the next two words, fighting back tears.

"My parents".

Harry lost the fight. The tears fell from his eyes as if they were having a race with one another, seeing who could reach Harry's chin first.

"I miss my parents!", Harry sobbed. "I miss them so much, even though I never knew them!".

If the reader of this fanfiction isn't crying by now, than he (or she) has a BLEEPING HEART OF STONE, PROBABLY HAS NO SOUL AND SHOULD GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF RIGHT NOW!!!

(By the way, don't forget to review this story. After all, everyone loves reviews. Especially good ones.)

(People who give fanfictions as hilarious as this one bad reviews HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR and their opinion DOESN'T MATTER AT ALL!!!)

(And another thing: This story hasn't been updated in nearly a year. This is, of course, because the author has been busy, and not because he has been to lazy to continue it. Or maybe it was because he wasn't getting enough reviews for his incredibly hard work)

After Harry Potter looked at the ceiling for a very long time thinking about his parents, he decided to go downstairs to see if anyone was up yet.

No one was.

That's because they were outside.

Getting ready for a wedding.

Yes, they were having the wedding at home.

Because John Ashcroft would probably kill the author of this story for having Harry Potter so much as walk into a church.

That was of course only a joke.

Sort of.

In any case, when Harry Potter walked outside, he saw the Weasleys eagerly preparing for Fleur and Bill's wedding.

Ginny, however, was nowhere in sight.

'Where's Ginny?", Harry asked.

"AAAAHHH!!!", screamed all of the Weasleys but Ginny, startled to see him

"AAAHHH!!!", screamed Harry, startled by the Weasley's sudden screaming.

"AAAHHHH!!", screamed both Harry and the Weasleys, just because that's always the way this joke ends.

"Harry", said Mrs. Weasley, placing a hand over her chest. "Don't you know better than to startle us like that".

"I didn't know you were that easily startled", gasped Harry, also placing a hand over his chest. "So, anyway, where's Ginny?".

"I imagine she's still in bed", said George (or was it Fred?).

"In bed", Harry whispered, his eyes growing misty.

"Yes", said Fred (or was it George?). "She sleeps in this time of year".

The thought of Ginny's beautiful body sleeping in her beautiful bed next to her beautiful dresser in her beautiful bedroom was so beautiful that Harry Potter could hardly speak.

"If I'm correct", said Mrs. Weasley, setting up a table cover using magic, "She's taken to sleeping in her birthday suit lately".

Harry's jaw just sort of fell open.

He was completely overwhelmed by his love for Ginny.

He would go upstairs and ask her to marry him.

And, as an added bonus, she would be naked.

Harry ran up the stairs, his chest pounding. He knew he was a fool. He knew that this could lead to Ginny's demise. But he didn't care. He had to marry her. Or, at least, catch her while she was wearing her birthday suit.

He reached Ginny's room. He spat in his palm so he could make his hair a little neater (as if!).

And he opened the door to her room without even knocking.

Sure enough, there was Ginny Weasley.

She was wearing a suit that read "HAPPY BIRTHDAY".

Harry rolled his eyes. This had to be THE worst joke in fanfiction history.

"Why aren't you naked?", Harry asked before he could stop himself.

"Because I'm dressed", said Ginny thickly. It appeared that she hadn't gotten much sleep either.

Harry was at a loss for words. He didn't know what to say.

"I'm Harry", he said finally, raising out his hand so she could shake it.

"I know that", said Ginny.

"Of course", mumbled Harry. Why had he been so stupid?

"So, has Percy arrived yet?", asked Ginny, clearly eager to start a conversation with him.

"Percy?", said Harry. "He's coming to the wedding?".

"I'm not sure", said Ginny. "Mum invited him, but Ron and the others keep saying he won't bother coming".

"Ah", said Harry, with a small chuckle. "Well, if he doesn't come, that means an extra slice of cake for you".

Ginny glared at him.

"Are you saying that you think I eat too much cake?", she asked.

"Uh..."

But this awkward moment was interupted, for at that moment, an owl flew into Ginny's room and dropped a small package on Harry's lap.

"Oof", said Harry as the package fell into his lap.

Ginny giggled. She seemed to find it funny when he said "Oof".

"What's so funny?", asked Harry.

"Nothing", said Ginny, still giggling. "I just found it funny when you said 'Oof'".

"Oh", said Harry, blushing deeply. She had found it funny when he said "Oof".

How embarassing.

"So", said Ginny. "Let's see what's in the package, shall we?".

Harry opened the package. Inside was a small stick that would've looked like a magic wand were it not for the red ball at the end of it.

"It's my Horocrux Detector", said Harry, holding the very item that would lead to the death of a major character.

"Where'd you get it?", asked Ginny.

"I ordered it off the internet", explained Harry.

"The internet?", said Ginny, and she looked very thoughtful for a second. "What's the internet?".

Harry was about to explain exactly how the internet worked (does anyone actually know?), but the door of Ginny's room flung open before he could.

"He's here!", said Ron, looking astounded. "Percy's turned up for the wedding!".

Ron ran over to the window.

"You see!", he said, pointing to a car in the distance. "That's Percy! I'd reconize the odd Muggle cars the Ministry uses anywhere!".

"Get downstairs!", shouted Mrs. Weasley. "Everyone get ready to greet your brother".

"He's not my brother", said Mr. Weasley coldly. "And he's hardly my son".

"Oh, stop it!", said Mrs. Weasley. "For once, Arthur, treat your son with dignity".

There was a knock at the door.

Mrs. Weasley opened the door and hugged her son.

"Oh, Percy!", she sobbed. "It's so good to see you".

"Mum, you're strangling me", mumbled Percy.

"Sorry", said Mrs. Weasley, letting go of her son and letting him walk into the house.

"Hey there, Percy", said Harry, raising out his hand so Percy could shake it.

"Grrrrrr", growled Percy.

"Now, Percy", said Mr. Weasley sternly. "There will be no growling at Harry Potter at this house!".

"And why shouldn't there be?", snapped Percy. "After all, he's the one who brought you-know-who back, isn't he?".

"I didn't mean to", mumbled Harry.

"Of course you didn't mean to, but you still did it!", said Percy.

He stormed through the room.

"Grrrrrrr!", he growled. "Where's breakfast?".

Mrs. Weasley paused before she spoke.

"I'll go make some", said Mrs. Weasley. "What would you like, Percy dear?".

"Who cares?", said Percy. "Everything you cook tastes like crap. Not at all like the food I get at the ministry".

Tears started welling up in Mrs. Weasley's eyes, but she wouldn't let Percy see them.

"How about a cup of coffee?", she asked.

"Grrrrrr", growled Percy. "No! Your coffee tastes like shit! I'll make myself breakfast!".

Percy then began storming through the kitchen, opening cabinets without even using magic and digging through their contents.

"Grrrrrrr", he growled. "Forget breakfast! The world's greatest cook couldn't even make a decent meal with this garbage! I'll show myself to my room".

He then stormed up the stairs, growling louder with each step he took.

"I'll be glad when the wedding's over", Ron mumbled over Mrs. Weasley's sobs.

And Harry couldn't help but agree.

At that very moment, Lord Voldemort was creeping up the driveway of No. 4 Privet Dr. It was time for him to personally take care of the Dursleys.