Bonus Chapter

Severus sat at his office desk, glass of firewhiskey in hand as he contemplated thumping his head off the mahogony wood. Did people not realise who he was. He was Severus Snape! Potion Master come teacher, head of Slytherin house, death eater for crying out loud! But more than that, he was the snarky mean spirited bat of the dungeon. The one kids feared more than just about any other teacher, hell any other PERSON out there. Including the bloody Dark Lord!

He lost his fight and his head met the polished wood. What the hell was WRONG with kids these days!

He could really use a smoke, too bad he'd finished the carton a while earlier.

Picking himself up he downed his glass and slammed it onto his desk, pushing out his chair and storming to the door.

You'd think it wouldn't be too hard to pay attention, to just do their damn work. But nooo, that's far too hard. Instead what does he get? Ingredients being lobbed from one end to another. Snot nosed brats sneering at each other across rooms. Hey look at me I'm better than you! And there goes the bloody cauldron. Boom

Pathetic, the lot of them, hell knows how they keep passing classes.

Now in a very bad mood he stalked the corridors, sharp eyes watching for the slightest movement, the smallest sound catching keen ears. So help him if he caught one student out of bed they would regret going to this wretched school

Against his will a memory suddenly flashed through his mind. It was a night like this when that student, what was his name, decided to stumble towards him, completely drunk though Merlin knows how, and proceed to mumble out something about a dare, or possibly a bear it was hard to say, before lunging forward and planting the sloppiest kiss on Severus' mouth. Well the corner of his mouth, being drunk did not make for good aim. Completely stunned Severus could do nothing but watch as the student then stumbled back from whence he came.

Somehow, this became a thing. It seemed that every time drink and THAT GAME was mixed, some bright spark decided to dare a mate to torture him. Lumbering out the dark, every few years, somehow managing to catch him off guard each time, only to prove that last time's kiss was not in fact the sloppiest.

Snarling under his breath he brought his hand up to massage his forehead. You'd think by now you'd be better at dodging them, he wryly thought to himself, but no, they somehow kept managing to find a way to sneak up on him. They were drunk kids for Merlin's sake! HOW did they keep managing it! Oh don't get him wrong, he made sure they PAID for it the next day. Whimpering little brats clutching their heads and groaning as they scrubbed cauldrons to within an inch of it's life.

Huffing Severus gave an old classroom a sweep, declaring it clear and moving on. He had gotten better at figuring out who potential culprits would be. Idiotic dunderheads the lot of them, thinking daddy's money would get them out of trouble, or gliding through school doing the barest minimum knowing they already had a job at graduation. Arrogant, spoilt things who probably puked the second the hangover cleared and they realised what they'd done, friends taunting them relentlessly. It had been four times now, there would not be a fifth.

Movement caught his eye and he sneered as of all students, Hermione Granger appeared at the end of the corridor. Well, colour him surprised, miss goodytwoshoes herself. Smirking he stalked over.

'And what, pray tell, are you doing out of bed?'

She had frozen when he appeared, now looked at him with a funny expression, terrified, ready to run, but also hesitant.

'I'm waiting Granger'

She swayed a little, was she ill, before apparently making up her mind and pouncing forward, darting away like the hounds of hell were at her feet the second she was done.

Severus stood frozen, still hunched over where she'd yanked him down. What just...

Then he screamed.

Elsewhere in the castle, an old man was draining the last of his warm milk, when he heard a most horrific noise somewhere in the castle.

'Ah, I see another student got him, wonder who it was this time' he chuckled to his Phoenix companion.

Bonus Bonus

'Hiya arry!' Hagrid called as he spotted his little pal heading out the school gates. He got a goofy grin and a wave in return as the lad vanished from site. Good lad, good boy that Harry was. About twenty minutes later he spotted the kid crawling back to the school. 'Gnight arry!' Ah, the lad's trousers were down, off having some fun he was. Good lad that kid was, he'll chat more tomorrow.