"There is only one thing that can be done with the girl now," Lord Voldemort finally declared. "We must have her sent to Azkaban."

Greg looked at him, puzzled.

"Pardon me for asking, my good sir, but why exactly should we do that?"

Voldemort glared at the goblin.

"Don't call me good!" he hissed. "You should know by now that I hate that! And as for why we must send the girl to prison, I think that my reasoning behind that is pretty obvious when you think about it."

Greg thought about it, but he couldn't thing of anything.

So he thought about it some more.

Three hours later, Greg was still just as blank as he had been earlier.

"I give up, sir," Greg confessed. "I can't see any reason for her to go to Azkaban. I can't even see how we'd go about sending her there."

"They really do overestimate goblins, don't they?" said Voldemort with some clear amusement in his voice. "I was under the impression that you were supposed to be the smartest of creatures. You forget that I am Lord Voldemort, and that alone means that I am capable of doing anything. My goal is to never die, so sending a girl to Azkaban is a very easy task for me."

"You're playing with my patience," Greg snapped. "If you're not going to tell me anything I want to know, I may as well go back to robbing trains."

"You will do nothing of the sort!" Voldemort said. "Especially after you botched up the mission that I gave you on the Hogwarts Express. You will go and tell Miss Lovegood that she will soon have a new home...in a prison cell."

Voldemort smiled. Whatever idea it was that he had in mind, Greg was certain that it must be a diabolical one.

He did as he was told and went back into the room where he had left Luna in a cage. She was very busy counting her toes.

"All ten are still there," she said with satisfaction. Her eyes then turned to Greg. "Oh, hello. Are you here to threaten me again?"

"I'm here to tell you that you will soon be getting free room and board," snarled Greg. "There's a cell in Azkaban with your name on it!"

"That's not true," said Luna simply.

"Excuse me?"

"There's not a cell in Azkaban with my name on it," said Luna. "You see, once you become a prisoner in Azkaban, you lose your name and have it replaced with a number." She paused and thought for a second. "I do hope that they give me the number 2."

"Shut up!" shouted Greg. "Are you not upset to learn that you will be sent to the place where the sun doesn't shine?"

"The sun doesn't shine much where I am now," said Luna. "And besides, I should be happy to be in a safe place like Azkaban, because they make the inmates wear striped uniforms there. Stripes scare Dragonfly Undertakers, you see, so I should be pretty well protected."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Greg said with frustration. "But don't think that I can't see past a wretched girl like you. I know exactly what you're up to."

"I'm locked in a cage wearing a bondage outfit," said Luna. "That's what I'm up to."

"That's not what I'm talking about," said Greg. "You're clearly trying to toy with my mind and drive me crazy with your nonsense that doesn't make a lick of sense. Well, I'm smarter than that. Much smarter."

"Good for you," said Luna, looking sincerely impressed by what he had just said. "You must be very smart indeed then."

"You should be afraid," said Greg. "The Dark Lord has a plan for you. He refuses to tell me why he's having you sent to Azkaban, but I'm sure that he has a reason for it. No matter what happens, you will probably be dead soon. Girls your age never live long in Azkaban."

"Sometimes they do," said Luna. "And I'm sure that Harry Potter will come and try to rescue me."

Greg felt as though his brain had been flushed down the toilet.

"Of course!" Greg shouted, raising a hand into the air. "That's why the Dark Lord wants you in Azkaban! You're bait! Once Harry Potter learns that one if his friends is rotting away in prison, he'll feel the need to to try to get you back! And then the Dark Lord will finally have Harry Potter, because he'll make the same mistake with you that he made with his godfather!"

But Luna didn't appear to be paying any attention to him, as she had become very involved in counting her fingers.

Meanwhile, Lord Voldemort was waiting for his laptop to boot up.

"Stupid machine," he muttered. "If only you could torture these things with curses to make them run faster."

"My lord," said Bagman, who had finally recovered his voice and was still in a state of shock from hearing the Elder Swear, "May I ask what you are doing?"

"I am going onto the muggle invention called the internet to inform my contact within the ministry that I have a new prisoner for her," stated Voldemort. "I just need to decide what excuse I can come up with for sending this girl to Azkaban."

"You have a contact within the ministry?" said Bagman. "How is that possible?"

"I use a name other than my own on a website called Facebook," said Voldemort. "I call myself 'Snake Eyes' and claim to be a secret spy who's keeping an eye on Harry Potter."

"Really?" said Bagman, starting to become confused. "And who, may I ask, are you contacting?"

"A woman called Dolores Umbridge," said Voldemort. "She used to work at Hogwarts, and has reason to hate the Potter boy almost as much as I do."

An email message then popped up on Lord Voldemort's computer screen. It was from Bellatrix LeStrange and read as follows:

"Dear, Dark Lord

Went to girls bathroom like you said. Stinking potter fell for trap, but got away. Hope you can forgive me. I killed a girl who was washing her hands and it was FUN!! LOL! Thought you might like to know.

Wish I could say more, but I've g2g. Watch my blog for updates.

~Bellatrix"

"Miss Bellatrix has failed me again," Voldemort said, but he didn't sound very upset. "Of course, I never expected for her to be able to kill the boy. But she came through for me when she killed the girl in the bathroom. Now I have a crime which I can accuse the Lovegood girl of."

He then logged into Facebook and told Dolores Umbridge his big lie, knowing perfectly well that she would believe him, because she considered him her single most trusted contact.

And speaking of most trusted contacts, Lord Voldemort's most trusted agent, at that very moment, was confronting Bellatrix LeStrange about her recent failure.

"You're a loose canon, Bellatrix!" shouted Voldemort's most trusted agent. "Are you so mad with your thrist for death that you're willing to put everything that the Dark Lord has planned out so carefully in danger?"

"I never feel more alive than when I'm watching other people die," said Bellatrix as she twirled her wand around in a circle. "And what do you know about the Dark Lord? You don't worship him nearly as much as I do!"

"You are lucky that I don't end your pathetic excuse for a life right now," Voldemort's most trusted agent snarled. "But the Dark Lord will probably be able to use your mistake to his advantage. He usually finds a way of doing that."

"I didn't make no mistake," said Bellatrix. "I did as I was told. The Dark Lord ordered me to wait for Potter in the girls toilet, and that's exactly what I did. Potter showed up to get the phoney horocrux, and that's when I released those two filthy friends of his on him."

"But you made yourself seen!" shouted Voldemort's most trusted agent. "You let Potter know that you were behind the spell that you had cast on Granger and Weasley! What excuse do you have for that?"

"What's the fun in killing someone if you're hidng in a bathroom stall when they die?" said Bellatrix with a twisted giggle. "You of all of the Dark Lord's death eaters should know the pleasure that comes from shouting the words of killing curse and watching the terror fill the eyes of your victims just before their lives are over."

"I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT I HAVE TO PUT THAT PLEASURE BEHIND ME WHEN I'M SERVING THE DARK LORD!!" Voldemort's most trusted agent roared at her. "FORTUNATELY FOR YOU, THE DARK LORD ANTICIPATED YOUR FAILURE!!!"

"YOU LIE!!" Bellatrix roared back. "WHY WOULD THE DARK LORD SEND ME ON THIS MISSION IF HE THOUGHT THAT I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH IT! FACE IT, YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE THE DARK LORD TRUSTS ME MORE THAN HE TRUSTS YOU!!!"

"I AM LORD VOLDEMORT'S MOST TRUSTED AGENT, YOU CRAZY BITCH!!!" roared back Voldemort's most trusted agent. "AND HOW DO YOU THINK THAT HAPPENED? BY ME MAKING A SPECTACLE OF MYSELF IN PUBLIC ALL THE TIME THE WAY YOU ALWAYS DO?!? NO! BECAUSE I AM A MASTER OF BEING SUBTLE!! I NEVER ALLOW MYSELF TO BE NOTICED!!!"

"Are you sure about that?" Bellatrix asked him, turning her eyes towards a crowd that was now watching them very intensely. It consisted of at least 30 muggles.

Lord Voldemort's most trusted agent was at a loss for words.

"Perhaps a Burger King was not the best place for us to have this meeting," he concluded outloud.

Bellatrix LeStrange clapped her hands together excitedly.

"Can they die? Can they die?" she squealed. "Can they please die?! I haven't seen anyone get dispatched in over eight hours!"

"Yes," said Voldemort's most trusted agent simply. "They have seen and heard too much. They must die."

"Yay!" squealed Bellatrix, rolling up her sleeves. "And there are so many of them, too! This is going to be better than sex!"

But before she could make another move, Bellatrix LeStrange suddenly found herself tied up, her wand removed from her hand and her mouth removed from her face.

"I didn't say that they would die by your hand," said Voldemort's most trusted agent pointing a wand at her. "When you've been a good girl, you may kill again, but for now, you won't even be allowed to watch."

A split second later, a blindfold had appeared in front of Bellatrix's eyes. Had she had a mouth at the time, she almost certainly would've been throwing a tantrum.

Then, without any magic at all, Voldemort's most trusted agent killed all of the muggles, using only advanced skills in the martial arts and a bendy Burger King straw.

"You may not be ready for me, Potter," he whispered. "But I will definately be ready for you."