Chapter 17 HER ROYAL RIGHTEOUSNESS LIEUTENANT. NYOTA URHURA part II First Lady Nyota Careful what You wish For. Dreams and Ideals are one THING. Reality can Be a harsh Taskmaster.

"There's one thing that I don't quite understand you claim to have all this knowledge and skill… All of a sudden. this great understanding of the Vulcan way?" No one missed the sarcasm in her tone. Yet, you appear to be very disturbed by the one concept that most Vulcans strive for—

Kirk shakes his head. "No… Not today Nyota—

"not today or not. In front of the Vulcans?"

Kirk was quiet for a long moment. "Look, Lieut. Urhura, Nyota, I'm sorry that we met on a night where it felt like my life was absolute shit. I was looking for anything and everything to distract me from it. I truly regret that you had to witness that. Because I think that you are an exceptional person and communications officer. I'm sorry you were hurt by the situation with Spock. I know that you want to blame me for it. That's the only way it makes sense, right? Spock's a Vulcan. So, you can't really hold somebody who doesn't do a motion, responsible for not knowing how to deal with an emotional female. Right? The thing is… I've known since before the Kobayashi Maru Spock was T'hy'la. I never made a play. I just wanted him to be happy. If you are really; really truly think about it, you will see that even though I believe you care very deeply about Spock. You see him as an outcast, an outsider, set apart and alone . You respect the mystique and the straightforwardness of that which is Vulcan. However, I don't believe you truly want Spock the Vulcan. You want to help the lost hybrid that doesn't fit on his home planet or should I say one of the planets of his choosing. You want to be instrumental in teaching him how to fit in.

While getting the occasional glimpse which is not shared with outsiders, without having to go native so to speak. As was the way with T'sai Amanda. Amanda Grayson was a renowned teacher. a linguistics genius, for Christ's sake. Amanda Grayson is almost solely responsible for the programming of algorithms that dictate the universal translator. She gave all that up… Every bit of it, to move to a planet where she was considered inferior. Outcast. Ridiculed. Interloper. Where she was considered a corruption a plague and pox, pox and plague. On the house she belonged to. She was never welcome, so to speak, at clan gatherings. In fact, most accidentally on purpose forgot that she could understand every word, every insult, every Barb. Yet she never complained. For herself. She was a modern Federation woman. A pioneer in the field on Vulcan. As the first human to live full-time on the planet. She walked 10 steps behind. He who is her husband, as is proper. Now I cannot vouch for what goes on behind doors between bond-mates. Nor would I expect The Ambassador to indulge us. I can say personally, that just like her steps if she received any kind of acknowledgment publicly. It was that of a proper Vulcan mate to his female the ozh'esta. I'm almost 99.9% sure she didn't get lengthy make out sessions on transporter pads or what amounts to obscene fondling while walking down the hall."

"How would you know? It was my understanding, you never met The Lady, Amanda. At least in this universe. I suppose you're going to say different now that it's convenient?"

"Well, for the record, I did meet, T'sai Amanda for approximately one maybe two minutes or so, on Vulcan right before I was kicked off the planet. Then again on Tarsus IV. Let's just say I assured that she found her way off the planet before things got to the hellish stage. Giving her a chance to see if her husband could use his status as an ambassador to facilitate our rescue. Although, I must say I never had the opportunity to witness her interaction with this, Sarek all my knowledge comes from memories I share with my counterpart and his husband." I was never quite sure exactly all of her reasons for being there. Frankly, I think at the time. I didn't really think about it with everything that was going on. She was one of the few people who was nice to me… It was nice to have a teacher who wasn't intimidated by the fact that we could converse intellectually about the material. At first, I had no clue who she was. Other than a very different sort of teacher than what I was used to. With the exception of Tiggy of course, because he had been playing teacher, counselor, social worker whatever had fit best . As he tried to shield me. Eventually of course I found out her reasons. So, I could do nothing else but sure that she got off the fucking hellhole."

"What Kirk speaks was true for my Amanda as well." Sarek adds solemnly.

"That's not in your record." Nyota says.

"No, it isn't… I generally don't talk about it, in fact, most of it is classified. There was a famine yes, but there was also quite a bit more going on. The point I was trying to make."

"Anyhow, moving on… I will be happy to talk this out with you or not. Whatever you wish. When we get all the solutions settled." especially this. Kirk says, indicating their hands.

"Talk about me being lewd." Nyota comments. She subsides meekly. When she sees everybody rolling their eyes. Excluding the Vulcans of course. Although they do the equivalent.

"Yes. It's not ideal. This is the easiest way for me to block the pain. Even though thanks are illogical. I would ask that you accept mine…" Kirk smiled slightly. "sa-mekh for your role in making it possible for us to heal the wound, and still do what needs doing."

Sarek nodded. "sa-fu You are indeed correct. However, I have learned to resign myself with the human need for thanking logic.