I know a few of you have been waiting to find out, so here you have it - how Manda's fate turns out after that last chapter where it was all up in the air. Hope you enjoy it :)


As the shock of electricity surged in the attempt to jump start Manda's heart, Dean had watched her jolt with it, and prayed that it would work this time. But then he watched how one paramedic looked and shook his head at the other.

They were giving up on her, and were finished trying to save her now. He knew it by the looks they traded, their faces filled with more disappointment than horror because this was something they saw every day.

Loss and grief were sinking in fast for Dean, and he heard Chuch let out a buried sob from his brother's chest. His eyes shot to Sam who met his gaze with a deeply apologetic and downcast look. The silent conveyed apology from Sam was somewhat comforting, but it didn't do a damn thing but make this sting a little more, allowing the reality that she was gone sink in even deeper.

His tear filled eyes darted back to Manda. This wasn't how it was supposed to end. He was supposed to have stopped this from happening, saved her from this demise, but everything had gone wrong. That was a part of the job Dean had never liked, knowing that sometimes there was just no way to stop something like this from happening. But the cost this time, god, this was going to hurt. The guilt and pain were already drowning him, and now Manda was gone. He had lost her, and her blood would forever be on his hands.

The paramedic checked her one last time for a pulse, and shook his head again at the other. Looking towards the three hunters then, he said, "I'm sorry… there's nothing more we can do."

Chuch gripped Sam a little tighter, and sobbed a little louder now. Death caught up to a hunter sooner or later in this lifestyle, but when it was a good friend it hurt. And this hurt her badly, Manda had become more like a sister than a friend over the years, and now she was gone.

Sam held Chuch closer as she cried, but his eyes stayed on Dean. Worrying, wondering, and waiting – he knew his brother would snap soon.

Dean bowed his head for a second at hearing the words. It couldn't be true, and now he had to check this for himself, especially after being convinced that he had felt her touch a moment before. And if she really was gone then he wanted one more moment with her just to say goodbye.

He charged forward towards her body with his hope, fear, and disbelief. He bumped past the one paramedic that had gotten up and was heading to check on the unconscious man. "No… you don't know her. She's too freakin' headstrong, does everything on her own time and terms," he muttered.

Sam's eyes widened at watching his brother now. Dean wouldn't accept it, or maybe he just couldn't. But he knew this was somewhat how it would be if he was the one lying there and not Manda. Dean would have to make sure for himself that it was true, and even then he wouldn't accept it, that was just the way he was.

The other paramedic was standing now, and stared at Dean. "Sir, she's gone… there's nothing you can."

Dean flashed the best commanding 'shut your frigging cake hole' look he had, and then crouched down beside her. His hand brushed back a piece of her hair from her face, and he choked down the tears as he looked at her. Despite the damage to her face, she looked at peace to him.

Come on, Manda… you're too stubborn to go this way… you wouldn't give that bastard the satisfaction of taking you when he took so much from you already, and you definitely wouldn't let him ruin you and me this way either.
His fingers searched determinedly to find a pulse as he silently pleaded with her in his head.

He pressed a little harder after a second, not sure if he was feeling it right or if he was just imagining it because he wanted to be feeling this beyond all hope and belief. He was sure he was imagining it, but it was there – the faint beating of her pulse was in fact under his fingers. The breath caught in his throat, and then he smirked. "That's my girl… as stubborn as they come," his voice held shock, but it also held joy as he said the words out loud.

Then his head snapped up to look at the paramedic who had said there was nothing he could do. He wanted to yell at him, tell him to learn how to read a pulse properly, but only shot him a look that could have killed yet was somewhat comical because the grin was spreading at knowing his girl was back.

"Dude, don't just stand there, get her the hell out of here and to the hospital or do I have to show you how to do that job too?" he said in a firm, commanding tone. Manda was alive, barely, but she was still alive and this tool hadn't done his job properly.

Dean lacked a tolerance for incompetence. To him you either knew how to do your job or you didn't, and when you didn't in his line of work, and much like a paramedic's, it could cost someone their life. And if that incompetence risked the safety or life of someone he cared for, there was no damn way you were getting off easy when dealing with him.

"I'll drive that rig out of here with or without you if I have to." His voice was serious and his expression matched it now as he stared hard at the paramedic. He wasn't joking around, and he wanted him to know it.

The paramedic's face dropped, he looked shocked, and then nodded, dropping down instantly to feel Manda's neck. "Jesus… you're right. Got an incredibly weak pulse, so weak we missed it… sorry about that," he said apologetically to Dean.

"Just get her more stable and out of here quickly, and I'll think about not filing a complaint or two against you," Dean threatened. Not that he would actually do it, but he knew it would get the guy to pay closer attention to her and make him do everything he could to keep her alive now.

Chuch turned around from Sam's arms, her tears stopping quickly. "She's alive?" she asked, surprised. But Dean was right – her friend really was as stubborn as they came.

Sam looked a little stunned, but he'd seen stranger stuff happen, they all had. And then he couldn't help but laugh a little at how Dean seemed to intimidate the poor paramedic who had followed the order he'd been given. His brother could be downright impossible to disobey sometimes if you didn't know him well enough, and right now everything about him said you didn't want to test or cross him.

The other paramedic rushed back and sort of pushed Dean out of the way as he was getting up. And then he watched as they worked at getting his girl a little more stable.

He didn't care to see that another set of paramedics had shown up for the unconscious guy, or how the local cops had followed and wanted to ask all of them questions. All that mattered to him now was making sure she pulled through this, because Manda had already fought with everything she had within her to survive, and now she needed to fight a little more to come completely back to him.

-

It had been twelve hours of waiting so far. Twelve long hours that Dean had spent going over everything that had happened while waiting for Manda to wake up.

She'd been touch and go for awhile upon arriving at the hospital. It had taken awhile for them to get her stabilized and to treat her wounds, which he'd been told included a ridiculous amount of stitches in her back compared to only a few in her side.

After learning that Manda was stable and doing okay, Dean finally gave into being checked out by a doctor him after being harassed by a nurse or two. His injuries were fairly minor though, the worst being a couple of bruised ribs. Other than that, he had nothing more than a couple of bruises, a few scrapes and some superficial cuts that would vanish in no time.

Then Sam and Chuch had persuaded him to go get cleaned up while they waited. He didn't want to leave, but then it didn't take much convincing after looking at himself. His clothes were stained in Manda's blood and he looked like a wreck. Being a wreck didn't matter, but he wasn't about to let her see him covered in her blood.

So, Dean had headed back to the hotel to get himself cleaned up after Sam reassured him he'd stay with her and would call if something changed. He took awhile to wash away the traces of her blood and a bit of his own, but he couldn't wash away the guilt that was growing inside him.

It hadn't taken long once he was alone for everything to sink in – what he'd been forced to watch happen to Manda, how she'd given herself up to save him, the things the demon had said while in her, what he had done to her, and how he'd nearly lost her. It had been on the drive over that it had started, but upon being in the room they were sharing and seeing all her things – the guilt had consumed him. For awhile he'd just sat there lost in his thoughts, wondering how things were going to work out, but then he pulled himself together quickly, knowing that she still needed him and had hurried back to wait.

Pulling the boyfriend card and giving the sob story that was mostly true about how Manda had no one else on the nurses who had tried to kick him out had worked when he got back, Dean had charmed them into letting him stick around long after they wanted him gone. And then he'd sent Sam and Chuch back to the hotel a few hours ago after agreeing he'd call whenever she was awake, if she awoke that was.

The doctor hadn't been hopeful on a time or if she would even wake up. He'd said something about an unexplainable head injury they figured had resulted from the beating, and Dean was sure it was a result of the link between her and the demon being severed. He'd kept that to himself though, because trying to explain that would have made the doctor think he'd gotten knocked around almost as hard as she had.

But she was doing better than she had been before according to the doctor and the nurses. She was breathing on her own again, her vitals were better, but not quite where they should be, and they were waiting for her to wake up. The nurses kept telling him she was a fighter each time one of them came in to check on her, and he couldn't agree more.

Dean knew she'd pull through this, that she would fight like hell to get back. She already had, because for all intents and purposes, Manda was supposed to be dead right now.

He'd watched her slip away, held her lifeless body in his arms for a moment, had done CPR on her, and was convinced he had felt her spirit there when the paramedics had been working on her. She had died for a few minutes, and somehow that didn't make sense to him, she'd managed to come back. He didn't even want to understand it, because all that mattered was that while everything the demon had done did in fact kill her, it hadn't succeeded in keeping her that way.

Maybe she really was just too stubborn, and he was grateful for that quality of hers again, but wished she'd start or stop using it now to regain consciousness.

"Come on, Manda, you need to wake up and tell me I'm soft for sitting here, and then laugh when the nurse tells you what a sweet, decent and good looking boyfriend you've got," he uttered, taking her hand in his. He stared at the rawness of her knuckles, and it reminded him of how hard she had fought against the demon and then how it had fought him while it had been in her. "All the nurses adore me since I played that boyfriend card perfectly on them, so make this worth my while for having to call myself that awful word," he said, hoping that hearing him would somehow just bring her around already.

But there was no fluttering movement from her or any sound. And right now Dean would kill to hear her call him Winchester or laugh and joke around.

"Even the bitchy head nurse fell for my boyish charm and good looks right after she threatened to have security throw me out. Like a bunch of rent-a-cops could really kick my ass…" He rubbed his thumb back and forth on her hand for comfort and reassurance, but it seemed useless, it wasn't working for him and it probably wasn't working for her either. "Bet that would get you up though, me having to show them how it's done… Hell, you wouldn't be able to refuse taking me on just to prove someone might be able to kick my ass," he chuckled softly.

After a few minutes of silence, he sighed as he let go of her hand and settled back into the chair he was sitting in.

He was tired, wishing he wasn't about to catch a moment of sleep in some crappy hospital, in some crappy chair, but that was life for him. Dean was so used to crappy he didn't know how to deal without if he had to admit to it.

Keeping a hand next to Manda's in the hope that she'd awaken soon, he started to nod off while wondering when she would come back to him, and if she would still be his girl when she did.

He knew this was something she had feared would happen if she let someone in again, and it was why she'd always held back from wanting more with him. It was also a reminder of why as hunters forming attachments was something to be avoided. And Dean worried all of this was enough to end whatever was left between them now as he sat there with his eyes closed and put his hand over hers again.

-

Manda's eyes and head felt heavy, and she lacked clarity as she started to come to.

It took a few minutes before her mind started to clear a little, and her thoughts started coming back to her.

She knew she was hurt since there was a dull but increasing pain she felt everywhere, and she tried to remember what had happened to her. But before she could, the thought of someone came to the front of her mind.

Dean!
She had been with him, that much she remembered. And then it came flooding back, fighting the demon, and knowing it wanted to kill Dean. The panic set in, and so did the wonder of where he was and what had happened to him. Oh, Dean… please be alive… please be okay.

It was a struggle to get her eyes open, and her voice just wouldn't come out either. But she moved her fingers though, and felt them brush against someone else's. Then she put all her effort into opening her eyes, fearing the worst at that moment – that when she did, she would still be alive and Dean would be lying near her, dead.

When she finally got them open though, it took a few minutes to focus on anything. She realized she could barely open her left eye, but it didn't matter, she knew where she was, but not where Dean was.

Looking towards the owner of the fingers, she was almost sure they were his, but seeing him there confirmed it. Oh, thank god, baby, she thought at seeing he was okay. He was right here and he was okay, and the relief rushed through her from knowing it now. "De-Dean," she called out to him in a weak breath of a whisper, and placed her hand on his.

Dean's eyes shot open. He sat up straight, and greeted her with a smile. His pulse raced from the touch of her hand on his, and from knowing she was finally awake. She was back, finally back. "Hey… she's alive," he teased her a little by saying it like the old Frankenstein quote.

Manda's chuckle was faint and short as she winced with a deep catch of breath from the pain that seemed come from everywhere at the energy it took to do the small laugh.

Noticing her discomfort, and feeling her squeeze his hand a little tightly, Dean leaned in closer to her. "Okay, I'll keep the wisecracks to a minimum since that seemed to hurt."

She nodded slightly. "Guess I made it then." Her voice was hoarse, scratchy, and raw. Her throat ached from dryness and had probably had a tube down it at some point for how sore it was.

"You're very stubborn and tough," Dean said. Then he got up and kissed her forehead softly, unable to hold it back. "Extremely stubborn, actually," he whispered.

"So I've been told," Manda said, taking in the familiar scent that was Dean as he leaned over her. She caught a trace of what smelt like her shampoo on him, and it made her wonder how long she'd been here.

He stayed where he was, and just looked down at her for a minute. Then he brushed her cheek delicately, his fingers sweeping her skin with the lightest touch he could manage. Her face was littered with bruises and cuts, and each one of them was a bad reminder of what he'd watched happen to her, what he'd had to do to her. Her one eye was so dark and swollen that it hurt and angered him just looking at it.

Manda closed her eyes to take in the gentle caress. Then she looked up at him, and got a better look at his face, noticing the soft bruising around one of his eyes, another on the opposite cheek, and the few small cuts – one the side of his head, another just under his eye, and one more above his eyebrow. She knew then that the demon had used her hands to do this to him, and her guilt settled in for hurting him. But it was the amount of pain his eyes seemed to hold as he looked at her that was even worse, it was breaking her heart just to see she'd caused him so much pain.

"Sit down, Winchester. It'll be a few days until I can handle you being over me," she smirked, trying to put him at ease.

Chuckling, he listened to her order, and sat down again. But he leaned in real close, and rested his hand on her wrist, gently rubbing his thumb in. "How you feeling?"

"Tired and sore… but I did get my ass kicked. And I take it I'm going to have a few new scars now." From all the pain she felt, there had to be. She felt the tightness and pulling that indicated stitches in her side, and didn't even want to think about the ones down her back just then.

Dean nodded, and didn't want to tell her one of them was one he'd given her. Where he stabbed her had been stitched up, and it was bound to leave her scarred. "One or two… and you're going to be sore for awhile."

"Sore I can deal with, but damn, there goes bikini season," she quipped sarcastically. Whatever wounds would leave a scar would just be more to add to her collection. Some were faded, some weren't, and some where just ones that couldn't be seen for how deeply they were rooted inside her.

"I like a girl to have some scars," Dean smirked. He was having trouble getting a read on her, her eyes couldn't give much away from the condition they were in. She seemed to be in pain, but she was acting like herself at least, well as much as he could tell anyway.

She winced through another chuckle. "I'm covered in them."

There was silence as both of them just stared at each other for a few minutes. The room started to fill with an awkward tension and unease. Both of them had guilt, and both of them had things they wanted to say.

"Damn it, Manda…" Dean broke the silence first, unable to hold it in any longer. "Don't you ever pull another stunt like that again. Sam would have shown up before…" He had trailed off, unable to finish what he wanted to say – before it would have killed him, before it had hurt her even more, before he'd almost killed her himself.

She sighed, looking away from him. "I had to, Dean… I couldn't let it… there was no way I was letting it…" she stopped. He knew how she felt about losing anyone else in a way she already had. "It was you or me… and you know which choice I'd make again without a second thought."

He couldn't say anything for a moment, because here she was admitting she'd die for him. She loved him enough to lay her life on the line to save him, she already had, and that kind of love reminded him too much of his own – fierce, protective, loyal, and there wasn't a line that couldn't be crossed for whoever was on the receiving end of it. It was too much like what he'd do for Sam without a thought and now maybe for her too, and at that moment he felt like he didn't deserve it. He wasn't sure he knew how to handle that kind of love from and for someone else besides Sam.

"I could have handled whatever it was going to do to me… but no, you had to go ahead and take the damn thing on by yourself, let it possess you," Dean said in a tone that held a trace of harshness. He stared at her wondering if she realized just how much pain there was in having to watch her die, but how much more was there in knowing she'd done it to save him. It hurt as much as knowing he'd stuck the knife in her side.

"Just like you said, extremely stubborn," Manda said nonchalantly, looking straight at him again. She could see he'd thought he lost her, and how much pain was in him from that. It was all there in the normally hard eyes, and written all over his face which was usually masked by some disguise to everyone else.

Dean couldn't stop the laugh at how casually it had come out of her, and how typical it was of her. "My kind of girl..." he stopped speaking as he heard the footsteps approaching, his hand leaving her wrist then.

A nurse came in to check all of Manda's vitals, asked her a few questions, and then gave her something for the pain and a little water to drink. Then she looked at Dean sternly. "I know we let you stay, but she needs to rest," she said, emphasizing on the last few words.

The nurse's tone had said she wanted him gone, so Dean nodded in reply and flashed a grin to keep up the charm. He wasn't leaving just yet and if they wanted to try to make him, they could damn well attempt it, but they wouldn't succeed.

Manda could see behind his fake grin. He wouldn't budge from where he was, and while she liked that, she knew he needed to get some rest himself. "That means take your ass back to the hotel, Dean. Get some proper sleep, you look like crap."

The nurse nodded in agreement at him and laughed before she left the room.

"Soon enough," Dean chuckled. "And if you think I look like crap, just wait until you see yourself, gorgeous," he smirked. She looked awful, but she was alive, and that was all that mattered.

"I can wait. I know it's not going to be pretty." Manda yawned at the tiredness that was sinking in. She was wiped out already. Just tired, sore and fighting through it to stay awake now.

"Get some rest, Manda." He put his hand over hers and squeezed it gently.

She nodded. "Thanks for sticking around here."

"Where else would I be? I seem to recall being told you needed me." He gave her a cocky grin. He liked knowing she needed him, but he wondered how much longer that would last once she remembered everything that had taken place hours ago.

Her eyes got a bit teary then as she saw what was in his eyes. How he felt about her was right there at the surface of them. He loved her, but there was something else there, a mixture of things she couldn't figure out yet.

Dean didn't want to be the cause of her tears right now, but if she was going to cry, he needed to give her some comfort. He got up, sat on the side of her bed, and leaned in close. "Hey… you're okay, just like I told you would be… no need to cry." He let his lips softly brush against hers, and then just looked at her. "You're beat to hell, but you're okay, babe."

A few tears escaped from her, and she nodded. She reached up with one hand and cupped his face before he could pull away, needing to touch him. "Stay a little longer, Dean."

"They can try to kick me out, Chambers, but I'm sticking around for as long as you want." He flashed his bad boy grin as he sat back down in the chair.

She kept her head turned towards him and pressed it into the pillow. "Thank you."

"Shhh, get some sleep. You can worry about thanking me later." He wanted to wait until she was asleep before he went. Looking at his watch, he realized it'd been over a day and was working well into the second now since he'd last slept. She'd been out for a total of twenty hours at this point, and now that she was awake he could finally head to the hotel and crash. She was okay, busted up pretty good, but okay, and that was all he'd been waiting to find out and putting off actual solid sleep for.

"You need to sleep yourself, so don't stay for too long… okay, baby?" she ordered more than asked him.

Dean nodded at her without wanting to argue about just how long he wanted to stick around.

Manda smiled sort of sadly then because she knew he'd be gone when she woke. And soon enough he'd be hitting the road again too, but that was how it worked. And as she closed her eyes she pushed out all of that and just took comfort in the fact that he was here for now.

It wasn't long before she was asleep, and once she started breathing deeply, Dean remembered he had something of hers in his pocket, something he had to leave her with to keep her somewhat safe once he left.

He took out her parents' rings then. She had wanted him to have them in case anything happened to her, and he'd picked them up off the ground when he thought he'd lost her. And he'd held on to them while he had been waiting to see if she pulled through this. Now that she had, and since they were hers, it was time to give them back now. But as he sat there holding them in his hand, a thought crossed his mind. A strange thought that he couldn't ignore – he wanted to see if the rings fit.

For how well they understood each other, how much they cared about each other, how well they got along most of the time, and now having the rings in his hand after coming so close to losing her, the curiosity had rose in him.

Dean slipped both of the thick wedding bands off the chain then, and just held them in his hand for a moment or two. This thought was crazy, not like him at all, and now he was tentative about wanting to find out. But if he didn't do it now, he'd never know.

He slid the larger one on his ring finger on his left hand just to see, and couldn't help but chuckle out at how random it was that her father's ring fit him. It was weird, and it freaked him out a little to know that he wore the same ring size her father had. He pulled it off then, but kept it in his hand.

Placing the smaller band on Manda's ring finger, Dean found it fit. For a moment he just stared at it, trying to absorb the weirdness in knowing both rings fit him and her.

He didn't know if it really was just a coincidence or the cruel twist of fate that would always deny them of having that whether they ever wanted it with each other or not. Because what went with those rings was an idea neither of them entertained but in buried dreams of another life.

Dean slid the ring off her finger, and as he slipped the chain back through both of them, he couldn't stop the look of discontent that took over his face as he felt the heartache in that moment.

Heartache for the woman he'd nearly lost. She would always understand him, would always accept him for the good, the bad, and everything in between that he was, and would never try to change him or want him any other way. Heartache for how much she loved him, and how much he felt he didn't deserve it. And how he loved her in return, but feared it would never be enough.

And that was when Dean realized the demon had probably been right about how he could never give her what she really wanted or needed, why she had been so reluctant to ask for more. Because he knew her well enough to know that deep down Manda wanted what her parents had had with each other. And he didn't think he'd ever be the guy to give her that, no matter how much he might want to be.

The nurse that had come in earlier poked her head in and whispered that he should go.

Dean nodded, and waited until she was gone. Then he lifted Manda's hand a bit, and tied the chain around her wrist before placing the rings in the palm of her hand. He closed her fingers over them tightly, and then stood up.

The stroke he gave her face was gentle and loving before he leaned down to let his lips linger on her forehead in a kiss. His mouth went near her ear, and his whisper was so low it almost wasn't even there when he spoke. "I'm sorry I let this happen to you, Manda."

Dean snuck in another kiss on the side of her head, and then walked out of the hospital room with a heavy load of guilt for how he'd failed her. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to get past it, or if they'd still be together by the time he and Sam hit the road again.


Well, are you glad to see Manda survived? I just couldn't kill her off... no matter how awesome that would have been in the end. (Oh, and I had one amazing idea on how it would have turned out. It would have been super sad in the end... worse than how that last chapter ended for sure.) So, she lived, and hopefully that didn't turn out to be too ridiculous.
Now, I'd say Dean and Manda might have a few issues (hello guilt) to work out. Now the only question is if they'll be able to get past it to stay together and maybe finally catch a break there...
Yes, Dean got a bit soft there (the bit with the rings), a bit more than I probably should have made him. But I think it works considering he nearly lost her, and now he's not sure if he'll still lose her anyway...

Hope you've enjoyed this one. Thanks for reading... and if you wish to comment, then go for it! :) It's always appreciated.
Next one will be up sometime soon, and there's only one or two more chapters left for this story... just enough to wrap it up in a way that it deserves.