Chapter 4
Nick helped Emily gather up her things, then went to the room he had rented and fetched Jarrod's bag. Nick and Emily checked out together under the watchful eye of the manager, who didn't say anything but wore an expression that said he understood the problem but he was glad they were leaving.
Nick helped Emily to a hack outside and told the driver to take them to Dr. Merar's office. Once there, Nick had the driver take their bags into the office while Nick helped Emily in. Thank heaven, the doctor was in and did not have any patients with him at the time. His wife was there too, both of them tidying up the examination room. They both stopped and stared when Nick and Emily came in.
The looks on their faces said they should have known this woman who was with Nick. It was Iva Merar's eyes that brightened first. "Emily? Emily Parker?"
When the name brought a smile to Iva's face, Emily smiled. "Yes, it's me."
Iva came to her and took her hands in hers. "Oh, my dear, it's been so long! Tom, you remember Emily Parker!"
Dr. Merar came closer. "Indeed I do. Hello, Emily." But his practiced eye had no trouble seeing she was very ill and this was not a social call.
"Doctor, I think you should have a look at Emily," Nick said. "She's back in Stockton for good and…". And then he didn't know what to say.
Emily said it for him. "I have a condition, Doctor. I'd like to talk to you about it."
"Of course, come right in," Dr. Merar said.
Nick led her into the examination room and helped her sit down in the chair there. Then he said, "I'm going to run by my brother's office and give him back this bag I borrowed. He said he'd have some of my own things for me. Then I'll be back. Doc, if I'm not back by the time you're through, can you make Emily comfortable for a little while longer?"
"Certainly," Dr. Merar said.
Nick squeezed Emily's hand. "Don't worry. I'll be back."
Emily said, "Nick – when you talk to Jarrod – "
She hesitated. Nick asked, "What do you want me to say, Emily? If I tell him what's going on, he won't tell anyone else, and he won't do anything you don't want but frankly – well, you know how he felt about Matt."
Nick didn't feel like he was saying this properly, but Emily said with a little smile, "Tell him I'm hiring him, because I do want him to look at my will. And then he'll be bound by that oath lawyers take and we'll all feel better about it."
Nick had to smile at that, but he said, "You can trust him without the oath, Emily."
She said, "I do trust him. Ask him to come see me at my place this evening. I really do want him to look at my will. But Nick – don't have the rest of your family come over.."
Nick nodded. "Okay."
Nick closed the door behind him when he left. Iva Merar was still in the waiting area. The way she looked at him said she knew something was dreadfully wrong.
Nick said quietly, "Mrs. Merar, I'm going to take Emily out to the Parker house and we'll be staying there. As you can see, we're going to need some help. I was wondering if you could contact Mrs. Haley."
Iva shook her head. "She's been with Mrs. Cassidy since yesterday, and as far as I know Mrs. Cassidy hasn't delivered yet. How bad off is Emily? You can tell me. I won't tell anyone else."
"She told me she has a cancer," Nick said. "She – she wants to die in her home here. I want to help her with that wish."
"Of course," Iva said. "You know, I thought the two of you would be marrying someday."
Nick smiled a little, remembering his own thoughts. "Well, the war intervened. It did that to a lot of people. You don't think Mrs. Haley will be available soon?"
"No, but I'll come out and help you until she is."
Nick said, "Thank you, that'll be a relief for Emily. Will you meet us out at the Parker house and bring some things?"
"Of course. Tell me what you need."
XXXXXX
Nick went to Jarrod's office, took his bag to him and explained to him what was going on. Jarrod slumped as if he was taking in everything that had happened with Matt, with Julia Saxon, and with Ross and Worth all over again. "Are you sure you're up to this?" Jarrod asked.
"I am," Nick said, "but are you?"
"Of course," Jarrod said. "It's just my feelings in the matter are different from yours. I wasn't in love with Emily."
"But we can't act like you're not involved, and Emily does want to see you. She wants you to review her will."
Jarrod nodded. "I'll come by the Parker place after I leave here today."
"Don't let the family come over," Nick said. "Emily doesn't want anybody else crowding her. Just tell them she's here and she needs my help and you know what's going on and you'll explain later. Don't let Mother and Audra want to come running to help."
"All right," Jarrod said. "Just remember that I do know what's going on, and I can help if you need me to."
"We might talk about that tonight," Nick said.
Jarrod gave Nick the bag of his belongings he'd brought from home, and Nick left. He went to the livery and rented a buggy. He left his own horse stabled there for the time being and drove the buggy to the doctor's office. He pulled it up at the back door. He really didn't want the whole town to see him help Emily into it.
He went inside and found that Emily was still with Dr. Merar. He could hear their muffled voices through the door to the treatment room. Iva was not there either. He figured she had gone to get food to bring out to the Parker place. With nothing else to do but wait, Nick sat down.
And tried not to think – about Emily all those years ago, how pretty she was and how much he enjoyed being with her and how – dear God, how she had deteriorated. He shook the thoughts of the past out and thought about now, about how he could make Emily comfortable at her home, how he was going to manage her needs for however long it took, because he really wanted to. He knew Heath would take care of the ranch, and he'd have Jarrod to help him take care of legalities. He'd have Mrs. Merar and then maybe Mrs. Haley to help Emily.
He'd seen men die in the war, and since then, but he'd never help someone die who was dying slowly. Emily's suffering was going to last for a while, and the thought frightened Nick. He wanted to be able to take it. He just prayed he'd be able to take it.
It was only a few minutes that Dr. Merar came out of the treatment room. "Oh, Nick, I didn't know you were back," he said.
Nick got up. "How is she doing?" he asked, very quietly.
"Well, you know the truth," Dr. Merar said just as quietly. "She told me she told you and asked for your help."
"Your wife told me Mrs. Haley isn't available but that she'd come out to the Parker place and bring some food and such," Nick said.
"Emily is very weak, and very tired," Dr. Merar said. "Her cancer is quite advanced, and the trip here took a lot out of her."
Nick said, "I don't think she would have come here to me if she could have gone on taking care of herself."
"A week or two, maybe only days, Nick."
That was startling to hear. Nick understood what the doctor was saying, but it was so final. It made everything so real.
"The Parker house isn't that far away," Dr. Merar said. "Emily told me she wouldn't mind if I stopped out there this evening after she gets settled."
"Yes," Nick said. "Whatever she wants."
"And you? Are you ready to handle this?"
"We don't know what we're ready to handle until we have to handle it, do we, Doc?" Nick asked. "I think I can. I know I want to."
Dr. Merar had to give Nick credit for that. "Just remember, you're not alone in this. Of course, you have your own family, but you have me and Iva too."
Nick smiled a little. "And I'm very grateful but I'm not letting the family in on all of this. Jarrod, yes, he knows. Emily wants him to review her will. He'll be there to help if I need him, but I don't want Emily to be too crowded with help. That's not what she wants."
"Emily told me she has some laudanum but she'd rather take the brandy she has. I can't say I blame her about that."
Nick said, "Neither can I. But if you think she should have the laudanum, you should be the one to tell her."
"I will. Well, she's ready to go. You get her settled at her home. Iva will be out there before long, and I'll be out there this evening. Iva will stay with you during the day until Mrs. Haley is available, but it will just be you overnight."
Nick nodded. "That's all right. I think Emily wants it that way."
"Do you have a buggy?"
"In the alley," Nick said. "I'll take her bag out and then come back in for Emily, if she's ready."
"I'll bring her out. And Nick – God bless you for this."
Nick felt almost embarrassed to hear the compliment. It wasn't like he was going to turn his back on Emily. He was doing what he thought was right, and what he wanted to do. He nodded and said, "Thanks for the help, Doctor."
