Thomas Jefferson.
That tall, insufferable prick, couldn't seem to get enough of Alexander's misfortune. That much was obvious to everyone who had eyes. Alex was furious about being treated the way he was by the man, but that was how rivalries worked. It started out small. Thomas would steal some of Alex's food from the fridge, and Alex would ruin Thomas's coffee. It was a small and stupid argument that had no beginning nor end.
Today was no different. It was their personal goals to cause each other misfortune, and those goals became an obsession after that little argument.
After being caught by George Washington, the two had been ordered to avoid each other as much as humanly possible. It had been two days, and Jefferson had already begun to discover new ways to fuck with Alexander...
It was a rainy Wednesday morning. Foggy and muggy too, just because the world wanted to contribute to making Alexander's life miserable.
Alex was still living with John, and he had heard nothing from Eliza after he finally gained the courage to ask for some of his stuff back. He had been wearing the same sweater around the office for a couple of days now, and he was starting to get a few odd looks. Alex and John were nowhere near the same size, but he ended up wearing a handful of Johns old button-ups that didn't result in drowning him in a sea of different fabrics. At least he no longer looked homeless, (Which he technically was).
Alex personally had the picture in his head that Eliza was burning his clothing and prized possessions in a giant bonfire while chanting something incantations that would kill him, or something like that. Whatever she was doing, it seemed to certainly take up all of her free time, because she was apparently too occupied to answer her damn phone!
While Eliza was shut down, her sister, Angelica, only seemed to be more riled up. Every morning began with "Look who showed up from his boner break!" or "Guess she was busy last night for you to be here this early!".
For someone who worked in the front desk, Angelica literally had no filter. If she was a coffee maker, her brew would be terrible.
The crazed woman had even begun asking around the office for Alexander's address, which was just creepy. The only people who knew where Alex's super secret getaway was were Hercules, Lafayette, and John (obviously) anyway. So while being ratted out wasn't much of a risk, the paranoid man still didn't leave the office without looking behind him, you know, to watch out for stalkers…more like stalker…
Other than that, the fact that Jefferson was finally giving him space, and constantly being given dirty looks from everyone who knew about his situation, things weren't much different.
"Alexander! Have you sorted out those papers I asked for yesterday?" George Washington poked his head into Alex's office casually, despite almost ripping the poor door of its hinges.
"Yes sir! I also highlighted some paragraphs that I thought could use some fixing, but it's up to you if you'd want to take them seriously."
"What would I do without my top preforming employee? Alex, you overwork yourself." He patted Alex on the back before picking up the pile of paper sorted into a brown package.
"I try my best, sir."
Alex dismissed his boss and turned back to face his computer. He had more work to do after all, and the screen was engulfing Alex in its electronic welcoming.
"Actually, I have something I need to discuss with you. Later this afternoon I'm throwing a quick meeting in my office with you and Jefferson. We need to get your rivalry under control if you wish to sustain our calm working environment. Do you hear me?"
"Y-yes sir. I understand."
"Perfect! I'll give you a shout when its time then!" The larger man brushed past Alex and left his office.
'Look forward to it.'
Alex felt his phone buzz next to him. He was fully reclined in his dingy office chair, half asleep, bored out of his mind. Finally, it was about time Eliza responded to him. Maybe she was over herself and wanted to beg for Alex's forgiveness. That would be nice. Or maybe Alex's scent was washing off his clothing and was now useless to her. He was sick of wearing shirts that hung down to his knees.
He picked up his phone and opened the message. It wasn't Eliza's contact, or any contact. Just a random number.
'Oh god.'
Unknown Number: Guess who? It's you're favourite coworker. Long time no see Alex!
Unknown Number: Angelica gave me your number.
Alex's entire face twisted. He never really considered the fact that Jefferson would try texting him. Though, if he was being honest, it was pretty stupid. Alex could just block the number and be done with it and move in with his day, maybe go far enough to make himself a cup of coffee and enjoy the silence.
Unknown Number: I know what you're thinking, and it's pretty stupid. Don't block me.
Hammy: Why not?
Unknown Number: How else are we supposed to talk? Washington won't let us near each other.
Hammy: Not talking is the point, dumbass.
Unknown Number: I'm the dumb one? If we can communicate like this, we can negotiate, you narrow minded dwarf.
Hammy: Negotiate?
Unknown Number: What? You didn't think I was going to take advantage of the situation? I haven't seen the office this dramatic in awhile, and you should know by now I have a pretty firm grip on how things will play out. I could leave it like this where everyone thinks you're a horny teenager cheating on your girlfriend and all, or I could help you.
Hammy: Help me? How stupid do you think I am?
Unknown Number: Do you really want me to answer that question?
Hammy: That's it. You're blocked. The break room coffee is calling my name, and you're getting in the way of my caffeine-consumption plans.
Alex wasn't bluffing. He blocked the number before Jefferson could even begin to type a response. Well, that was a waste of his time. Now onto his coffee plans.
Alex placed his warm disposable coffee cup he grabbed from the break room on his desk, and began taking short sips from the second cup he was holding (also filled with coffee). He really considered himself lucky he wasn't caught sneaking out with two cups again. Last time Washington took away his caffeine privileges for a week, and it was the worst week of his life.
Four minutes of peaceful silence.
Buzz Buzz!
Unknown Number: What the hell?
Hammy: I'm sorry, do I know you?
Unknown Number: I told you not to block me you immature toddler.
Hammy: Immature toddler? That's honestly the best a man with your smarts can come up with? How are you still texting me, anyways?
Unknown Number: Bonus points for acknowledging my obviously superior intelligence. I'm sure a man with your smarts should know I texted you on my work phone. Good job on making this personal.
Hammy: What happens if I block you again?
Unknown Number: Then it's on to the next phone I guess.
Hammy: …
His thumb hovered over the red button that would block Jefferson's number, but after a few seconds of silent internal negotiation, he assumed is was pointless. He doesn't know how many phones Jefferson has, and once the guy does eventually run out, he may just borrow more.
Alex added the number onto his phone, and changed the Unknown Number title to Wise-Ass Purple Fuck Forever Cursed To Ruin My Life.
Hammy: What do you want?
Wise-Ass Purple Fuck...: I'm assuming You've already heard about the meeting happening later this afternoon?
Hammy: What about it?
Wise-Ass Purple Fuck...: I want you to agree to every word I say to Washington.
Hammy: Are you out of your goddamm mind?
Wise-Ass Purple Fuck...: No, I'm being serious. You need to agree with me on this, or you're little fight with Eliza is gonna get a lot more interesting.
It was time for the meeting, and quite possibly the end of Alex's career. He hadn't told anybody about Thomas texting him, and Thomas didn't reply to the several messages Alex sent him, asking what he was going to say. He was just left in the dark.
It was really annoying.
Now he stood outside Washington's office door. Not knowing what awaited him on the other side of the giant black glass panels, he pushed his way inside.
Before him sat a desk with an oversized empty black chair, and on the opposite side of the table, two smaller chairs. One was already occupied by a smug Thomas Jefferson.
"You didn't reply to my messages." Alex took the seat next to him.
"Aww, I'm sorry sweetheart." Thomas patted Alex's head, purposely messing up his man-bun and getting a fair chunk of his hair loose.
"What are you getting me to agree on, exactly?"
"You'll just need to sit tight and see."
Before Alex could respond, George Washington opened his door (With far more care than he had with Alex's), and took his seat in the bigger chair on the opposite side of the two men. Thomas's smug face turned serious, like it always did during meetings.
"I hope I didn't keep you gentlemen waiting too long."
"Not at all sir." Alex piped up.
"Good, good." The bigger man leaned forward and placed his elbows on the table.
"Now, for the reason I summoned you both here. Its obvious you two have some unresolved issues with each other, and it is distracting to everyone in the office. If this isn't fixed soon, I fear I'll need to let one of you go."
'Shiiiiit.'
"This is both of your chances to stop this by explaining to me why you can't seem to work well with each other. Maybe we can fix this problem before it grows. You will both have a chance to speak to me about some possible improvements, and issues. Mr. Jefferson, you're first."
Washington leant back into his seat and faced Thomas, who for a split second, glanced at Alexander to make sure he was paying attention.
"Well, sir. It pains me to admit me and Hamilton has some problems around each other, and the fact that this little fight we have going on has been an utter hazard to our fellow workers. I do have reason to believe that my views on this matter are as obnoxious at Hamilton's own, but as of lately I have been wondering why we haven't discussed the original cause that our hatred for one another keeps growing? If we can learn why this seems to be happening, then I am willing to go the extra mile to stop it."
"Go on." Thomas's speech was urged to continue. He took the call with no hesitation.
"That is why I'd like to be upfront to Alexander. I believe that we haven't been talking enough about our feelings. We can explain why our argument gets bigger every day by telling each other what we dislike about one another, sort of like a therapy session. After all, I'm sure Hamilton just has a ton of things he needs to get off his back. Isn't that right?"
Jefferson gave him a confident side-glance, but his eyes narrowed when the man sitting next to him kept quiet. Alex sighed.
"Yes."
"Perfect! Now, Alex, I feel you have a lot of unnecessary aggression around me. Is this true?"
'It's not unnecessary, its common sense to hate on someone who can't treat you like a contributing adult.'
"That would be accurate." He managed to spit out though gritted teeth.
"I appreciate the honesty. I too have aggression towards you, and I am ready to stop it. Are you?"
Thomas didn't say anything for Alexander to agree on, and instead just asked him an actual question. Did he miss something?
"If you were ready to end this aggression, then why do you continue to be such a prick towards me whenever the opportunity arrives? You put on an act whenever somebody more important shows up, because you can't have anybody witness you harassing me. I'm sick of it!"
Alex remembered both Washington's and Jefferson's jaw dropping, and it was then he noticed he had a little outburst.
To keep the story short, an argument broke lose within seconds.
Alex was now holding a stapler above his head and was aiming it at Jefferson's face. Washington was outside the office calling for security, and Jefferson just looked shocked.
He didn't even mean to throw it, Alex was just so startled about the whole fight, and the clustered anger about everything had finally exploded. The breakup, not having his own home, everybody hating him, Angelica causing him all this paranoia, and Jefferson causing all of these problems to grow.
'Eat my stapler, Jefferson.'
