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Chapter 22

Kenny's POV

I drove 95 all the way to the hospital. I have so many thoughts running through my mind. Why is Red having the baby so early? But at the same time, I'm wondering where Sadie and Johnny are. I'm going to spend a little time with Red and the baby then I'm going back out to search for my kids! I arrive at the hospital and see Wendy in the waiting area. "How is she?" I ask her.

"No word yet." She replies.

"I'm going to see if they'll let me go back." I walk up for the receptionist. "I'm here to see Red Jones."

She begins typing, then she looks at me. "I'm sorry, but she's in surgery right now."

"I know, she's having a baby. I'm the father. My name is Kenny McCormick."

"I'll check with the nurse on duty to see if it's safe for you to go back." She calls the nurse and after a few "okays" and "sures" she hangs up. "The nurse said the doctor will be out momentarily to speak to you."

"Is everything ok?" I ask.

"The doctor will come out and speak to you."

I sit down beside Wendy. "They won't let you go back?" Wendy asks me.

I shake my head. "She said the doctor will be out to speak to me. I really hope everything is ok."

"Oh..." Wendy looks away which causes me to eyeball her suspiciously.

"Wendy? Is there something you're not telling me?"

"You should wait for the doctor."

I frown. "Don't do that..."

"I don't know any more than you do."

"You were here with her!"

Wendy sighs. "The doctor said Red and the baby could be in danger if she didn't perform then c-section."

"What kind of danger?"

"I don't know, I was sent out of the room. So what's going on with Sadie and Johnny?"

"I still have no clue where they are. As soon as I leave here, I'm going back out to search for them."

"Mr. McCormick?" I turn around and see the doctor. I rush over to her.

"How's Red? How's the baby?"

"He didn't make it..."

I raise my eyebrow. "He? I had another son?"

She nods slowly. "I'm really sorry."

"What happened? Why didn't he survive?"

"Red was only 21 weeks pregnant so the survival rate was already low. His organs were still underdeveloped and his heart stopped beating after two minutes. We did everything we could to save him, but to no avail. I'm really sorry Mr. McCormick."

I start to tear up. "How's Red?"

"She's resting right now."

"Can I see the baby?"

She nods. "Sure, I'll take you to him."

"Do you want me to come with?" Wendy asks me.

I shake my head. "No, I want to do this alone." The doctor takes me to the back.

"He only weighed 10 ounces and was 7 inches long."

"Wow, he's tiny."

She nods and points to the door we're standing outside of. "You can go in now."

I walk in and see a tiny dead baby in a bassinet. He looks more like a fetus that you see in a 3D sonogram than a baby. I can't get over how little he is. "Can I hold him?"

"Of course, I'll leave you alone." She leaves and I pick the baby up.

"Hey little man, I wish you had a chance." I look at him. He's no bigger than my hand. "At least you'll have your big brother Kevin to look out for you in heaven. I know I wasn't here for your mom like I said I would be, but I promise you I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to her." I start to cry. "I love you little buddy." I lie him on my shoulder and pat his tiny back. I feel a hand on my other shoulder. I turn and see Wendy.

"It's going to be ok." She hugs me.

"I'm going to miss this little guy." I wail.

"I know..."

"I should've been there for Red."

"I don't think that would've changed anything." Wendy states gently.

"Maybe if I were there, she wouldn't have been out late at night walking to get food. I would've gotten it for her."

"Let's not go off of shoulder, would've, could've. What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know..." I sob. I hold the baby in my hand. "Look at him Wendy, he fits in the palm of my hand."

"Yes he does."

"I have to go be with Red." I lie little man down. "Oh this is going to be tough." I wipe my eyes.

"It's going to be fine. You two need each other more than ever right now." I nod in agreement. I really feel bad for Red. She's wanted a baby for so long and now she has one and he didn't survive. I meant what I said, I'm going to spend the rest of my life making this up to her.

Red's POV

There's a knock on the door that wakes me up. I'm still feeling a little groggy after the surgery, but I'm sure it's either Wendy or the doctor coming to check on me. "Come in." The door opens and to my surprise it's Kenny. "What do you want?" I ask coldly. I can see that his eyes are red.

"I came to see you." Kenny's voice sounds a bit shaky.

"You actually had time?"

"Don't be like. Do you know what's going on?"

I nod. "I got hit by a car and had to have an emergency c-section." I look around. "Where's the baby anyway?"

He looks down. "I guess you haven't heard..."

"Heard what?"

"The baby didn't make it."

I start to tear up. "The doctor said they were going to do everything they could to save the baby!"

He nods. "They did, but he was born too early."

"He? We had a little boy?"

Kenny nods again. "He's really tiny."

I start to cry. "I want to see him!"

"Maybe you should get it cleared with the doc-"

"I want to see my baby NOW!" I yell.

"Ok!" Kenny helps me up and escorts me to private room where the baby is. I immediately start crying. "It's going to be ok..." Kenny hugs me.

"Why did my baby have to die?"

"I wish I knew..."

I pick him up and cradle him in my arms. Kenny wraps his arms around me. I start crying even harder. "I always imagined that when this moment happened, that our child would be alive and we would be getting ready to leave the hospital!"

"I did too. I'm so sorry this happened. If only I had been there..." Kenny begins to cry.

"But you weren't!"

"I know and I'm so sorry!"

"Sorry isn't going to bring our son back!"

"I know it's not! I promise I will make this up to you."

"You can't!" I cry. "There's no way you can make this up to me!" I hug my son. "I'm never going to be able to raise my baby, I won't be able to nurse him, or change his diaper, watch him grow up, nothing! It's all because of YOU!" I shove Kenny.

"We'll try again once we're married. I know how much you want a baby." He tries to hug me again, but I push him away.

"Now you want to get married? Aren't you still married to someone else?"

He nods. "For now, but I'm going to get divorced. Tammy is more than likely going to jail so I should be able to get the divorced final."

"I don't care what you do, you have that, your kids, and Kevin to worry about. I'll be fine without you!"

Kenny lowers his head. "You don't mean that…"

I nod slowly. "I do! I don't want anything to do with you anymore!"

"Red-"

"Kenny!" We turn and see Wendy barging in the room. "I just got off the phone with Stan. He said you need to call Craig right away."

"We're in the middle of something and Craig is the last person I would call!" Kenny snaps.

"It's about Sadie and Johnny."

"He knows where they are?"

Wendy shrugs. "You'll have to call him and find out."

Kenny touches my arm, but I pull away. "I need to find out what's going on. I woke up and they weren't home. We'll finish this later."

"There's nothing to finish!" I tell him. "I don't want to see you ever again!"

"You don't mean that…"

"Yes I do…" I can hear my voice crack. I see a tear drop from Kenny's eye and he slowly leaves. I put my baby down and kneel down next to the bassinet and sob. Wendy kneels down beside me.

"Why won't you let Kenny comfort you?" Wendy gently asks. "You know this isn't his fault."

"He wasn't there before so I don't want him here now!"

"You really don't want to see him again?"

"My son is son dead and looking at Kenny will always be a reminder of him." I wipe my eyes. "Oh Wendy, but I still love him, but I don't want to be anywhere near him!"

Wendy nods. "You're both grieving. You should grieve together."

I shake my head. "He's too busy for me."

"He had to learn his lesson the hard way. Things will change."

"Wendy, I want to be alone with my son for a bit. Do you mind?"

"Not at all. I'll be in the waiting area." She leaves and go back to sobbing over the bassinet. Wendy is right about one thing, Kenny and I should be grieving together. I need him right now, but I know that I have to let him go. He has his family to take care of. I was never was nor will I ever be a priority in his life. I take another look at my son.

"It's officially time for me to move on…" I whisper to him as I begin crying again.