December 16th
Haven was so visibly signed on the roads leading up to it that Cullen turned off the sat-nav and followed the posted directions. Every second that ticked by, Nevena felt herself grow more and more tense. Her stomach had fallen through the foot-well of the car some time ago, and now the muscles in her arms, legs, and face were going stiff, as though frozen.
Cullen turned the car around one bend and then followed the winding road along. Nevena recognised this part– though there were more trees and a thin layer of snow covering the ground, she recognised the road itself and the manor house in the distance. It was set amongst deep green fir trees, and along the road were lamps - currently unlit - which at night gave the whole road a rather haunting glow. At least that was what Nevena remembered. It had been years since she had visited Haven, and Ineria could have done more than just expand between Nevena's visits.
The manor house was an old, stately building and imposing on first glance. Three floors, with a sprawling basement kitchen and storage rooms in the attic, it loomed over the driveway and the car park outside. Ineria had kept many of the original features of the house: carved faces and gargoyles in the eaves, the pillars carved by the front door and the ornate sash windows. The door itself was updated from Nevena's memories. She remembered a dark brown door with black iron fittings, better suited for a castle than a guesthouse. Now it was a double door carved from oak with stained glass panes. On it hung a festive wreath decorated with baubles of red and gold, and sprigs of holly.
Where there had been one road leading to and from the house, now there were another two stretching off the main drive and winding back through the land around the house. Nevena assumed they were the roads to get to the other lodges, which were clearly set well away from the house. The closest building she could see was little more than a blip in the distance. Ineria mentioned having work done in her letter to Nevena, and true to form, hadn't done anything by half.
The radio went dead when Cullen cut the engine after parking. He sighed and leaned forward in his seat to look at the house through the windscreen.
"I don't know what I was expecting after looking at the website," he said after a moment. "Your sister does well for herself?"
"I guess." Nevena stared dead ahead at a plant in a terracotta pot looking in need of some upkeep. She dug her fingers into her chair. Her skin felt cold under her clothes and she was sure Cullen could tell she was trembling. She tried to breathe slowly through her nose, but it was like her brain had shut down and all she could focus on was the blind panic filling her senses. She wanted to climb into the driver's seat and turn the car around. Why was she putting herself through this again? Blood thudded in her ears, dulling her hearing until the thumping was all she could hear.
She doubted many other people ever had this reaction when going to see their family. Then again, she doubted those people were irrationally terrified of their family and of their opinions. Those people also probably didn't go to extreme lengths to avoid being the center of family jibes and jokes. Glancing down at her bag in the foot-well, she debating grabbing her phone and calling Roselyn. She would come and get her if Nevana asked.
Cullen touched her hand, making her jump. She had not realized he'd been moving and talking the whole time she was engulfed in her panic. Now he was on the passenger side of the car with the door open, squatting to be on her level. He took her hand in his, thumb rubbing across her knuckles in a calming gesture. He wore an expression of genuine concern, mouth pulled into a straight line. Nevena half noticed doing so made the scar on his lip stretch a little.
"Nevena," Cullen's voice was barely audible over the thundering in her ears. Nevena blinked hard. She swallowed, realizing her throat and mouth were both dry, and managed to unhook her fingers from the seat. "Take some slow breaths." Cullen inched forward and placed his free hand on Nevena's back as she lurched over to try and dangle her head between her legs. The seatbelt was still fastened and made it more of a challenge than it needed to be. He rubbed between her shoulder blades and down, repeating the pattern in such a way that Nevena could copy it with her breathing.
The thudding quieted and Nevena's muscles loosened somewhat. She unclipped her seatbelt as she leaned back exhaling shakily.
"Sorry. Minor freak-out." She tried to smile to reassure him, though it felt more like a grimace. Realizing he still had a hold of her hand she quickly slipped her hand out of his and into her lap. "I'm fine."
"You sure?" Cullen still looked concerned and uneasy. The way his brows furrowed made a crease appear between them. Nevena caught herself when she felt the urge to smooth the wrinkle away and instead smoothed out her jeans. "Do you get panic attacks?"
"No," she shook her head. "And yes, I'm sure. Thank you... Ineria is probably watching from one of the windows. We should..." she glanced at the house, "go."
"Okay." Cullen stood up straight and backed away, giving Nevena room to get out of the car. She stretched her legs out in front of her for a moment before she climbed out.
"You don't need to hold my hand or anything if no one is around," she said and closed the car door.
Cullen arched a brow. "I'll keep that in mind."
They approached the house in silence, walking side by side. Nevena stuffed her hands into her jacket pockets. Her skin was warm where Cullen had held it and she hated herself for feeling a small giddy flutter in her stomach when she realized he was holding her hand. It was for show. She would need to remind herself until it was drilled into her thick skull.
Cullen went to press the bell but the door swung open within milliseconds.
"Nevena!" Ineria threw her arms around Nevena's shoulders, smothering her in an uncomfortably tight hug. Nevena patted her sister's back, blowing Ineria's loose hair out of her face. The foyer of the house was lighter than Nevena remembered, but the two massive stair cases that led up to the second floor were much the same, just repainted and currently wreathed in tinsel and Christmas lights. There was a smell of something roasting and warm spices in the air. Ineria stepped back from Nevena but still held her shoulders. "You should have called me when you got close! I've been texting you for hours!" Her grip tightened a little and Nevena smiled through her wince.
"Phone died. I guess it didn't charge completely," she lied. Ineria lifted a fine brow. Even in the three or so years since Nevena had last seen her sister, little had changed. She still looked young, though there were a few more lines around her eyes than Nevena remembered and her hair was shorter and a different color. But her eyes were still sharp and intelligent, her nose long and narrow, her face angular, and the way she arched her brow and pursed her lips still made Nevena feel like a badly behaved schoolgirl being brought before the principle.
"And this is Cullen?" Ineria held her hand out to Cullen. Nevena felt a definite sense of relief as Ineria released her vice-like grip. "You'll have to excuse the mess, Nevena only told me she was bring a plus one three days ago." Nevena shot a small smile in return to the quick glare Ineria gave her.
"My fault entirely," Cullen smiled. He dropped Ineria's hand and his other arm wrapped around Nevena's waist, tucking her against his side. Nevena's cheeks flared hotly. "I wasn't sure if I'd be able to get the time off work. But I did, and now I'm here."
"So you are." Ineria looked him up and down with a shrewd expression. "Well, once you've done our little ritual, you can come in."
Nevena blanched. "Oh, come on Ineria. It's been a long trip an-"
"Ritual?" asked Cullen, looking between Nevena and Ineria.
Ineria pointed up at the doorframe. Nevena did not need to look up to know what she was pointing out: a sprig of mistletoe dangling over the door. A humiliating family tradition Ineria put in place when she and Josef first bought the manor house. Nevena had hated being forced to kiss her then-boyfriend in front of her sister back then, and now it would be so much worse.
"Mistletoe," remarked Cullen with a small shrug. "So, we don't get to come in unless we kiss?" he asked Ineria.
"Them's the rules!" Ineria was positively beaming and leaned against the doorframe as if barring their entry into the house.
"Ineria, this is completely archaic." Nevena turned her attention to Cullen. "We really don't have to do this. She's just being awkward."
"It's fine." Cullen gave Nevena no time to react, quickly dipping his head and pressing a peck to her lips. It lasted less than a second and caught Nevena so off guard that the touch of his lips to hers barely registered. But she felt the giddy flutter again and for a moment it was like she forgot how to breathe. "Totally painless." Cullen smirked at her and added a kiss to her forehead for good measure. "You'd think you didn't like kissing me," he chuckled and the smile that replaced the smirk was one she was certain could melt ice.
Nevena gave a strained little laugh which sounded more like pathetic mewl. He was so natural, did everything so easily and without batting an eye. Even as he moved his arm from around her waist away and linked their fingers together as Ineria stepped out of the way to allow them entry, it was done without a hiccup or a pause. Of course, this was probably normal for him. He probably faked kissing and holding hands with most of his clients. And that was all Nevena was: a client. She needed to keep that in mind. It was all fake. Nothing was real, and the flutter she felt was nothing but a base instinctual reaction.
Ineria chatted mindlessly while leading the way through the house. The retriever, Beau, trotted in from one of the other rooms, carrying with him a stuffed toy. Nevena glanced at the decor. The rooms were huge with high ceilings, and to keep them looking welcoming, Ineria had them decorated with warm, inviting colors. Each long window was lined with heavy drapes to combat the cold outside. Ineria led them into a room where two people were already seated and talking quietly. Even though Clotilde was draped in thick clothing, it was difficult to miss the way her clothes hugged her belly. Owen had a toddler napping on his shoulder.
"Nene!" Clotilde wrestled herself up off the deep couch. She slid around the coffee table and hugged Nevena more gently than Ineria had. "It's so good to see you!" She tucked Nevena's hair around her ear. "You look amazing!"
"Thanks," Nevena smiled awkwardly. "You do too. I didn't know you were pregnant again." Clotilde grinned and placed her hands over her belly, almost glowing with pride. Her cheeks were fuller than Nevena remembered and her hair was longer with an almost deep purple sheen in the light, but like Ineria, Clotilde was barely any different than Nevena recalled.
"Twenty eight weeks!" Clotilde said. "Liam is really looking forward to meeting his new brother or sister."
"You don't know what it is?" asked Nevena.
"We don't care," Owen interjected. "As long as they're healthy."
"Hi, Owen," Nevena gave a half-hearted wave and he nodded his head in return. In the years since she'd last seen him, Owen had grown a thin patchy beard as if to make up for his very bald head. He wore round glasses on the end of his nose and looked very thin. "This is Cullen," Nevena gestured to him waiting patiently at her side. "He's... uhm... He's my..." She puffed her cheeks out. "My-"
"-boyfriend." Cullen said it for her tossing her a glance. He reached out to shake first Clotilde's hand and then Owen's. "Though given how reluctant she's been to kiss me or say so, I'm not sure if that's the case?"
"Just nerves," Clotilde laughed. "Nene knows we're going to put you through your paces. Make sure you're good enough for our baby sister."
"Oh, sweet Maker..." Nevena groaned into the palms of her hands. Clotilde laughed again. Nevena turned to Ineria. "Where's Arienne and Monty? And Josef? And the kids?"
"The kids are at school. It's the last day of the semester so they'll be home soon. Josef is just finishing up a few bits at the office in town." Ineria counted off her fingers one-by-one. "Arienne and Monty are is running late. They had an appointment with their OBGYN last minute and the traffic is apparently the worst!"
"OBGYN?" repeated Nevena. "Arienne is pregnant too?"
Clotilde sat down. "About fifteen weeks, she told me." She tapped Nevena's belly with her finger. "Just you now, Nene."
"Ha," Nevena batted her sister's hand away. "Mum and dad?"
"Arriving tomorrow," Ineria said. "Dad's getting someone to drive them up."
"Fair enough." Nevena shrugged her shoulders and tucked her hands into the pockets of her jacket. Ineria swayed from side-to-side waiting for conversation to begin again, while Clotilde was lovingly watching her son dozing on Owen's shoulder. Cullen cleared his throat awkwardly, breaking the growing tension.
"Where are we staying?" he asked Ineria. "Is everyone in the big house…? Or, Nevena mentioned you expanded to lodges?"
"Oh yes!" Ineria snapped her fingers. "Follow me." She led Cullen and Nevena back through the lounge and reception rooms to the main foyer. A desk was tucked at one end – so out of the way it was hardly useful. Ineria opened a drawer and fished out a pair of keys. "I've put you two in the Skyhold lodge. They're all signed, so just follow the road around until you find it. It's a two minute drive tops." She put both keys in Cullen's hand. "Settle in, unpack, have a shower, and be back here for dinner at about eight?"
Cullen curled his fingers around the keys. "Sounds good. Thank you." He paused. "Shall I call you-"
"Oh, call me Ineria." She patted his arm. "We're practically family."
"Ineria." Cullen nodded. "Thank you." He went towards the door.
"See you tonight." Nevena waved as she followed and closed the door behind them.
Each cabin was set quite a distance apart from the others, making them feel secluded and private. 'Skyhold' was the third down one of the new roads; It was a rustic looking building, one floor with steps built into the earth leading up to the door. The exterior walls were stone and wood, giving it a homey and old-fashioned look. Inside was more modern. The door opened into an open-plan living area, furnished with a three-seater couch, a coffee table covered in booklets, and a television suspended on the wall. To one side was a small kitchenette and dining area, which backed onto a sliding door and a deck surrounded with wood railings. There were three other doors leading off the main room which led to what Nevena assumed were two bedrooms and a bathroom. Two bedrooms was good - at least it meant sleeping arrangements wouldn't be awkward.
Cullen closed the door behind him after letting Nevena in first. Nevena noticed a thermostat on the wall and unwound her scarf. She put her suitcase to one side and placed her satchel with it.
"This place looks bigger than my apartment," remarked Cullen
"Fancy," agreed Nevena. She slipped her jacket off her arms and moved a little further into the main room. "I assume all the cabins are like this one."
"Maybe." A pause. "Your sisters seem nice," Cullen said. He dusted some snow from his shoulders before beginning to unbutton his coat. "And that could have gone worse."
Nevena turned to him. "Yeah." She forced a smile. "A lot worse." She grabbed her satchel from the floor and went to one of the closed doors. All she had to do was survive for almost a month. She could manage that.
The manor house was a hive of activity as Cullen and Nevena arrived later that evening. Opening the front door, there was more noise than when Cullen and Nevena first arrived, and Ineria was quick to greet them and usher them through the lounge and into a large dining room towards the back of the house.
"Guests eat in the 'official' dining room on the other side of the house. This dining room is ours," explained Ineria. She was wearing an apron over a navy dress and high heels. Cullen felt underdressed in his jeans and jacket, and could tell Nevena was uncomfortably aware of their casual attire by the way she pulled at her sleeves. "Obviously Josef, myself, and the kids make the manor our home as well as guests. So we have the east wing of the house for us, our own bathrooms, bedrooms, lounge and so on. And the west wing, plus most of the upper floors are for guests."
Cullen offered his hand silently as they followed Ineria through the house. Nevena glanced at him before taking it and she fell into step with him. He was relieved. Their first few exchanges and attempts to make their charade plausible had not gone brilliantly. Nevena was underprepared for what being a fake couple really entailed. They would ease into it, and in a few days, things like hand-holding would be second nature. He wasn't sure about anything beyond that though–she had practically frozen up when he kissed her at the door.
The dining room was spacious, like most other rooms in the manor house. It had a high ceiling with an ornate chandelier hanging in the middle. Cullen thought it rather gaudy when he looked at it, but perhaps it was an original feature of the house. At one end of the room was a gas fireplace, with fake flames already emitting a pleasant warmth. On the opposing side were a pair of Welsh dressers made of beech. The shelves were all stacked with ornamental plates, glasses, picture frames, and trinkets. In the middle was a large table covered with a frilly white tablecloth and places already set took up the centre of the room.
The room was buzzing with conversation, which stopped only briefly when Ineria ushered Cullen and Nevena inside. The dog, Beau, trotted over and butted his head under Cullen's hand. He was quickly shooed away by a man Cullen recognized from the photo he saw in Nevena's apartment earlier.
"You must be Cullen!" he said, putting his hand out. "Josef Raimes. Good to meet you." He had a firm handshake and rough hands. "Sorry I wasn't here to greet you and Nevena when you arrived– work."
"Not to worry." Cullen dropped Josef's hand. "Ineria made us-"
"Nevvie!" A female voice trilled over the others. Cullen turned in time to see Nevena almost bowled over by a woman he could only assume to be Arienne from her appearance. "It's been so long!" she gushed, squeezing Nevena around the shoulders. "I missed you!"
"Hi Arienne..." Nevena shrank under her sister's embrace, and Cullen watched her gently try to push her sister off. Arienne stuck fast, her eyes watering.
"I thought you didn't like us anymore!"
"Ari." A man Cullen recognised as Arienne's husband Monty gently took her by the elbow. "Let Nevena go. You're over-exciting yourself."
"Sorry." Arienne released Nevena and sniffled. "Hormones." She dabbed her eyes for a moment before they shot to Cullen. "And you must be the mysterious boyfriend we've heard nothing about!"
He smirked in Nevena's direction. "That would be me." He offered his hand. "Cullen Rutherford."
"Oh, no handshakes!" Arienne batted his hand away and Cullen went still as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "It's so nice to meet you! This is so exciting!"
"Uh, you too." Glancing at Nevena askance, he was surprised to see an amused expression on her face. Possibly the first genuine sign of amusement he'd witnessed from her that day. Arienne released him after an uncomfortably long hug, and only with prompting from Ineria. "You must be... Montague?" He turned to Arienne's husband.
"Monty, please." They shook hands. Unlike Josef, Monty's handshake was weak and his palm felt sweaty. Cullen wiped his hand on his jeans discreetly. "Ineria's brood has gone up to bed, but you'll probably meet them tomorrow."
"Brood?"
"Her kids." Monty led Cullen to one of the Welsh dressers. Cullen checked on Nevena as he followed and saw her being talked at by Arienne, who was gesturing wildly about something. After scanning the photographs lined up on the different shelves, Monty picked one up and handed it to Cullen.
In it were three children, a girl and two boys. The girl was clearly the oldest, her face a little less angular than Ineria's, but the hair and nose were the same. The two boys shared looks more in common with Josef. Their skin a bronze color, the both of them with dark eyes and heads of thick, untidy black hair. "Matilda, Dante, and Rowan." Monty pointed to them all. "Good kids."
Cullen vaguely heard Monty continue to talk, but his attention was fixed on another photograph. He put the one of the children back in its place and picked up the one that had caught his eye. It was the same photograph he'd seen in Nevena's house that morning. The same setting, same couch, same expression, same people… only now there was a difference. Where in Nevena's copy the last person was cut out, here he was not.
It was a man, as Cullen first assumed. A man with wide shoulders, fair skin, and short brown hair. His eyes were a piercing blue and what took Cullen's attention was that, unlike everyone else in the photograph who was smiling at the camera, this man was not only grimacing, but his attention was fixed on Nevena. His hand on her leg was not at all affectionate or even friendly. There was a sense of possession in his posture and how he was turned towards her, as if ready to sweep her away the moment the photo was taken.
"Ah, Nevena's ex." Monty pointed at the man in the photograph.
"Her... ex?" Cullen arched a brow and tried to sound nonchalant. "She... hasn't really talked to me about him."
"Rick. They broke up ... well, three years ago, I think. Or thereabouts." Monty rubbed his chin where there was a five o'clock shadow. "They were engaged."
"Oh." He stared at Rick in the photograph again, studying his body language. "I guess she'll tell me more when she's ready." He managed a small smile. "Would you mind grabbing me a drink?" He asked Monty, wanting a moment alone to gather himself. He and Nevena had not discussed her past relationships and it was something they probably should have. He was caught off guard now, and had no idea what he should say if someone asked him about it.
"Sure." Monty nodded. "Ineria has a massive wine cellar, but if that's not you-"
"Just water, thanks. I'll have wine with dinner."
"One water, coming up." Monty slipped away and Cullen watched him be drawn into conversation with Josef and Owen.
The photograph bothered him. It wasn't just the way it was so posed and static, it was the uncomfortable feeling he got just from looking at this man in the frame. He didn't even know him beyond his appearance and name, yet Cullen knew he would not want to meet him in a dark alley. He thought back to the morning and how uncomfortable Nevena was when he asked her about it. If they were engaged and the break up was messy, it's no wonder she did not want to talk about it.
"Hey," Nevena came up to his side, her cheeks flushed with color. "Sorry about that, Arienne could make small talk an Olympic sport."
"That's okay."
She puffed her cheeks out and sighed. "I spoke to Ineria about the cabin. Her first question was why we would need two bedrooms in the first place."
"Ah," Cullen ruffled a hand through his hair. "That's a good point." While their cabin was nice, they discovered that the three doors leading from the main room led to one large bedroom, a large bathroom, and a cloakroom. The bedroom contained one King sized bed, which left them in something of an awkward situation. Cullen was happy to take the couch, but Nevena insisted she would talk to Ineria about it.
"I managed to convince her we needed the extra space for clothes but, no dice. She says most of the other cabins are still having some work done before the official opening in the spring. And the others we could stay in are taken by my sisters because they have baby facilities and stuff." She turned to face him, leaning her hip on the dresser. "So we're stuck."
"We'll figure it ou-"
"Why does she still have this picture?!" Nevena snatched the frame in Cullen's hand into her own and stared at the photograph hard. Cullen watched as her brows dropped low over her eyes and the color in her face drained a little. "I hate this photograph."
"Monty said that the guy beside you is your ex?"
"Yes."
Cullen considered for a moment, pursing his lips. "You were engaged?"
Her eyes shot up to meet his, blazing. A glimmer of anger crossed her face, replaced swiftly with uncertainty and discomfort. "A long time ago." She put the picture on the dresser face down. "It's ancient history."
"Nevena, we should-"
"We're meant to sit down. Dinner's ready." Without another look at either him or the photograph she left him standing at the dresser and went to the table where everyone was taking their seats. Cullen sighed. He gave the frame a last glance before going to join the others at the table.
Dinner passed without much incident. Cullen observed Nevena and her siblings all together for the first time, and realized something very quickly: Nevena was excellent at diverting attention. She did it expertly. Every time the topic turned to her, she was able to turn it into something about one of her sisters or their husbands, and the conversation was focused on them once more. She answered when she was spoken to, and the few times she spoke without being addressed first, she was quickly silenced and seemed to almost cower in on herself when bombarded by voices. Once or twice he was tempted to reach for her hand under the table to remind her he was there, that she wasn't alone, but he thought better of it. They really didn't know each other well enough for something so casual, and to hold her hand without it being for show was not something he was sure she would appreciate.
So he kept his hands to himself, ate quietly, and tried to join in the conversation when he felt he could contribute. his family was loud and talked over each other, but Nevena's sisters went a mile a minute with conversation topics and gossip. Josef spoke very little, Owen added his own comments once in a while, but the biggest talker was Monty, and that was mostly to remind Arienne to not over-excite herself.
Cullen was relieved when he and Nevena left for the night, full of food but worn out. The silence of the winter night was wonderful after the hours of chatter and noise, and it was a relief to reach their cabin and to find it was just as quiet as outside.
Nevena hung her jacket up on the coat hooks by the cabin door. "You should take the bedroom." She stated, planting her hands on her hips as if doing so would convince him. "I'll take the couch." Cullen looked across at the extra blankets and pillows she pulled out of the cloakroom earlier all piled up at one end of the couch.
"I don't mind taking the couch. It's your family's place we're staying at, here."
"You're doing me a good turn by putting up with them. Take the bedroom."
"You're paying me," Cullen retorted. His crossed his arms in a challenge. "I'll take the couch."
"I'm smaller. I can fit on the couch easily. Plus I get up really early, so-"
"The couch is massive, I can fit fine. And I'm an early riser too."
"Stop being stubborn," Nevena's cheeks flushed. "You're taking the bedroom."
"You stop being stubborn." Cullen reached into one of his pockets. "And we'll settle this the old fashioned way." He withdrew a coin, holding it between his thumb and forefinger. "Coin toss."
Nevena snorted and shifted her weight from one hip to the other. "Fine. Heads: you get the bedroom. Tails: I get it."
"Fair enough." Cullen flipped the coin, watched it rise into the air and caught it on its way down. He pressed it onto the back of his hand. Before moving his hand ,he split his forefinger and middle finger enough that he could just make out the face of the coin. Heads. He tucked his thumb under his fingers and gently flipped the coin as he moved his hand away. "Tails." He showed Nevena. "Bedroom is yours."
He watched her expression go from shock, to annoyance, and then seamlessly into frustration. "Fine!" The way she puffed her cheeks out with indignation and huffed her hair out of her face was something Cullen refused to admit was kind of adorable. "If the coin says I take the bedroom, I guess I'll take the bedroom!" She turned on her heel and stomped through the main area towards it.
"Goodnight, Nevena." Cullen called. He received no reply but the door being firmly closed.
Thank you to my beta readers, razerathane, just-another-dalish-elf, thetimba and sakurasakes.
Hey everyone! I hope you enjoyed chapter three. I know these chapters are a shorter than those in 'What Lies Behind the Throne' but I thought shorter chapters might be easier to digest and swallow. I hope that's okay. Also, I know so far things are a bit slow. But these early chapters are lying the ground work. The meatier stuff will be coming soon. I promise! :p
Thanks for your patience with uploads. As I said, I want to keep the schedule a bit loose, as I don't know what'll be happening in the future and it'll be a nice surprise. Rather than an expectation.
Thank you again for all the lovely comments and feedback on chapter 2! I am always so overwhelmed by the responses and comments.
Anyway, as always, I love reading your comments and I'll try to reply in a timely fashion! So please do, leave your thoughts and comments below and I'll see you in the next chapter. Lessthanthree.
