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Jamie's Point of View
Three all-too-familiar people stood before me, their expressions unintelligible. Mark, Alex, Jacob…my heart thumped at the sight of each them, but for different reasons. Mark was on the left with his beautiful cerulean eyes and brown, shaggy hair…Alex was in the middle with his comforting, friendly face…Jacob was on the right, towering over the other two. Images of the past flashed before my eyes: Mark asking me on a first date, his eyes filled with adoration and charisma…the first passionate kiss that we shared…a photo of my friends and I in Florida, my head resting on his shoulder; Alex inviting me to sit with him…pulling pranks and laughing…helping me through my troubles; and Jacob. Jacob with his beat-up car and affable grin…the way he was so happy just to drive me home…and the way he almost made me feel whole for the first time in months. The images picked up speed, darting in front of my eyes. I saw the time I caught Mark kissing another girl in an empty classroom secretly…the way he had hardly even looked up when I burst into the room. Alex explaining to me how he wasn't interested in girls… every single time he and Nate shared anything remotely intimate...the way my heart almost broke every time our eyes met. Jacob…the confusing way he just left me, without explanation… the vague and mysterious answers to my questions that only made me more suspicious…and how he hadn't seemed to care that I was upset at the dinner party. My head swirled with the memories, each playing through my mind at a quicker pace. They blurred together, and I couldn't see anything anymore…I felt paralyzed, like my body was numb, shut down. Jacob suddenly appeared in front of me, capturing me in one of his intense stares. I couldn't look away, my heart was beating faster and faster. I didn't even realize that the walls were gradually closing in on me. "Jamie," he whispered, sounding pained. Before I could respond to his tortured voice, the walls swallowed me into a never-ending abyss of darkness, leaving me more alone than ever.
I woke up sobbing, my breath coming in short gasps. I rolled over and pressed my face into the pillow. Just a dream. Just a dream, I repeated to myself over and over…but the feeling it gave me was all too real. I had calmed myself down enough to hear the familiar sound of a slight drizzle on my roof. I peeked from beneath the covers, glancing at my alarm clock. 6:30. I knew that it was too early for me to be awake but I refused to go back to sleep. I forced myself out of bed, trying to shake the remaining memory of the nightmare out of my head. I stumbled towards the bathroom, placing my hands on the edge of the sink for support. I splashed my face with cold tap water in an attempt to wake myself up. I could tell that today was going to be a long day.
I stripped and jumped into the shower, letting the frosty blast chill my body to the bone. I didn't mind it that much—it exorcised the last bit of the dream from my mind—but for some reason, I felt hollow. Like I had forgotten something vitally important but didn't know what it was. I turned the handle sideways and stood in the shower for a minute. I had to admit that I didn't feel like myself—and it wasn't just because of the horrible dream. Even with a towel wrapped around me, I still felt cold. I got out of the shower, unexcited about what the day would bring.
Jacob's Point of View
I had to see her today.
It had been two whole days since the incident at Emily's house. Two whole days since she blew up, fuming, in my face. Two whole days since I last saw her face. I couldn't just stay trapped in my room and avoid her. Did she miss me even remotely close to how I missed her? Did she miss me at all?
I slammed the door behind me, got into my car and drove in the direction of her house. I didn't care if it was unexpected, showing up randomly. I hoped that she would understand.
I pulled up into the driveway of Jamie's brick house. I shut off the transmission, my heart thumping in anticipation. I already felt better.
Jamie's Point of View
I fixed myself a bowl of Cheerios as my parents discussed Dad's job.
"Yeah, some families are actually relocating to Washington from Florida," my dad remarked casually.
"Really? Like who?" My mom asked.
"I don't know the specifics yet, just that they should be here by the end of the month." He turned his attention to me. "So I take it you're not going to church today, Jamie?"
"No," I responded listlessly, "I don't really feel good."
My mother shook her head in disapproval but let it go. I must have looked bad. "We're going out after the mass, so don't expect us back until three," Mom told me. I nodded out of habit, not really paying attention.
After they left, I headed upstairs and looked over my homework. My head was deep in calculus when I heard a knock at the door. Who the hell is that? I got up wearily and trudged downstairs, opening the door. My eyes widened in shock.
"Jacob?" I asked quietly. Butterflies whirled in the pit of my stomach and my heart beat erratically. Warmth filled the emptiness when he smiled slightly.
"I, uh, had to see you." He scratched his head. He had to see me? A shiver of pleasure ran up my spine. I frowned slightly...No, Jamie, snap out of it.
"How do you know where I live?!" I came back to the present.
He rolled his eyes. "C'mon Jamie, I'm not stupid. I knew that that wasn't your house."
"Yeah, well, I don't want you here." I swallowed. "I have a lot of homework to do, and, um, yeah. So leave." Ignoring my protest, he invited himself in. "Excuse me, who said you could come into my house?"
"I did." He looked around. "It's nice."
"Get out now! I can't believe you even had the nerve to show up here after Friday!"
Jacob's face softened, "I'm sorry Jamie. I should have never treated you that way. It was...a rough night for me. Forgive me?"
I frowned, unable to deny the sincerity in his voice.
"You are so lucky that my parents aren't here," I grumbled finally. "My dad would kill you."
"I think that they would adore me. I'm very charming, you know," he said with a smirk. He sat down on the sofa.
"Yeah, right," I snorted. "And could you please wear a shirt for once?"
"Why? Does it distract you?"
I rolled my eyes. "No, because you could be a sexual predator for all I know."
He stiffened and turned towards me. His eyes were hooded.
"I would never hurt you," he fumed.
"Jeez, take a joke, will you?"
"It's not funny Jamie."
"Well you have a crappy sense of humor."
He scowled grimly. I bit my lip, regretting my words.
"Sorry. I didn't think it would offend you." I was surprised when the words left my mouth. I wasn't one to apologize. He scrutinized my expression, probably trying to decide if I was being sincere. I must have passed his test because he relaxed visibly.
"It's okay," he forgave me.
"But seriously, it bothers me when you don't wear a shirt in front of me." There was a long pause. I sighed. "Look, if you don't have a shirt, I'll get you one." Banner trotted into the living room and pounced on Jacob playfully. "Banner, no. Get down."
"I don't mind, Jamie. I'm a dog person." He laughed as Banner licked his face. I cocked my head to the side for a minute, watching them. I shook my head, getting back to realtity.
"Well, I'll just um, go get that shirt," I muttered. Jacob and Banner got up simultaneously and followed me. I looked back at Jacob. I was about to tell him to sit his ass down in the chair where it belonged...but instead I bit my tongue. This day was getting stranger and stranger. I led him to my room and opened my pajama drawer, throwing him an oversized baseball tee. He took his time in putting it on. "Keep it," I told him.
"No, it's fine."
I didn't object. He examined my room, eyeing the knick-knacks on my bookshelf. He picked up my old, faded scrapbook and flipped through it.
"Hey, don't look through that, it's personal." I tried to hop up to his height to reach it, but he was too tall. He suddenly stopped on one page, holding it an inch from his nose. His nostrils flared, and he started to shake.
"Who's this?" he questioned through gritted teeth. I peered and saw a photo of Mark and me. I looked away.
"No one," I murmured.
"Is he your boyfriend?"
"None of your business," I told him sharply.
He flipped to the next page.
"If he's no one, then why is he in every single one of these pictures? 'Jamie loves Mark?!'" he read a caption angrily.
"Give me that." I snatched it out of his grasp.
"How long?"
"What do you mean?"
"How long did you date him?"
I paused.
"Two years," I managed to choke out. His figure blurred. "Jesus Christ Jacob, calm down. It doesn't even matter."
"Doesn't," he breathed, "matter? Don't you understand?"
"Listen Jake, I don't understand," I said, frightened. "And if you continue to act this way, you can just leave. You're scaring me."
He rubbed his temples, muttering something under his breath. "Jacob, are you okay?" I touched his shoulder. He looked wonderingly at my fingers until the trembling gradually stopped.
"Jamie," he exhaled, his voice caressing my name. "I'm sorry."
I met his gaze, dropping my hand. "It's fine."
"No, it's not." He sounded horrified over what he had done. I had no idea why, it wasn't that big of a deal. "I should have never gotten out of control like that," he continued.
"It's fine, really." I sighed, staring at my hands. "If you really want to know, Mark cheated on me a year ago, right before we moved. It's...kind of a touchy subject for me," I muttered. "I haven't been the same since." Why was I telling him this? He probably didn't even care.
"Oh Jamie, I'm so sorry," he whispered into my hair as he gathered me into a hug. Immediately I went taut. I didn't exactly argue, but I showed no reaction. For a second, I battled internally over whether I should push him away or just surrender to the moment, as I so badly wanted to do. Finally, I gave up and released my tough facade. Almost unwillingly, I put my head on his shoulder. His warmth engulfed me. Why did it feel so right to be in his arms? Why did I want to stay here forever? To my extreme horror, tears began to slide down my cheeks. I buried my face in his chest.
"Are you--?" He pulled away, assessing my appearance. "Don't cry," he pleaded, his voice anguished.
"Sorry. I'm sorry," I bawled. "I'm just s-so confused." I let out a sob. Jacob's only response was to pull me back into his arms. And in their comforting hold I confronted the terrifying truth: I was beginning to have feelings for Jacob Black.
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