THEY'RE EATING HER...AND THEN THEY'RE GOING TO EAT ME. OH MY GOOOOOOD!

000

At the Hall of Legends, all of the legends that weren't currently at their island or hosting a show were sitting in the main lobby area of the vicinity. Arceus had called all of them there; she didn't explain why, but majority of the legends there were already annoyed.

Most of the guys had a movie marathon to get back to, and some the girls wanted to continue their conversation about the guys around the hall. The legends that weren't in either groups just didn't care about the reason they were there and just sat there in wait.

After almost half an hour of waiting in silence, Latios decided to break the silence. "So, uh...anyone have an idea why we're here?"

"If we did, don't you think we'd have said something by now?" asked Tornadus.

"You don't talk much…" Latios replied.

Tornadus didn't respond.

Soon enough, Arceus and Giratina appeared before everyone.

"Finally!" Darkrai exclaimed agitatedly. "What the hell do you two want?"

"Hello to you, too", Giratina replied, ignoring Darkrai's annoyance.

"Can you two just get to the point? We have things to get back to…" Cresselia spoke up.

"Like what? Most of you are single…" Victini commented, causing a few of the girls to glare at him. "Hey, it's true…"

"Victini. Hush", Arceus commanded. The fox folded his arms and grumbled to himself.

"Now, the reason I called you all down here is regarding the Guardian Deities and Ultra Beasts…" Arceus started.

"I know the Guardian Deities, but the Ultra what?" asked Celebi.

"The weirdos from the alternate dimension…" Mewtwo spoke up. "You know, the wire guy, the fatass, the roach…"

"Oh...right. Them," Celebi said, a bit of contempt in her voice.

"Yes, them," Arceus replied mockingly. "Now, I know that majority of you either don't care, don't know, or hate them."

"Guzzlord ate our entire fucking fridge the last time he was here!" Raikou exclaimed.

"Yes, I understand that, but I feel like we all need to get to know them all a bit better…" Arceus explained.

"Why don't you just have Solgaleo and Lunala do it?" asked Deoxys. "They're Ultra Beasts, too."

"Yes, they are both, but they already know them," Arceus explained. "The point is for you all to get along with them so that they're able to settle in here as well…"

"WHAT?!" they all exclaimed.

"You've got to be kidding…" Magearna groaned to herself.

"Why the hell are you upset?" asked Articuno. "You know them, too!"

"EXACTLY!"

"Why the hell are they moving here exactly?" asked Rayquaza. "We have enough people around here!"

"Yeah, don't they have a whole other dimension they're residing in?!" Suicune shouted.

"The Guardian Deities won't be staying here all the time. They'll just be around whenever they have free time…"

"I prefer them over the Ultra Beasts…" Palkia replied.

"Well, deal with it…" said Arceus. "Plus, with them moving in, this lovely hall with be expanding and being remodeled…"

Immediately, they all went silent and their eyes widened.

"Uh...say again?" Kyogre asked.

"Well yeah...with eleven more legendaries coming to live and semi-live here, we're gonna need a place much bigger. So, this place will be enlarged…" Giratina added.

Immediately the shouts in protest turned to excited cheers.

"Yep, so we'll all be spending the day on Melemele Island tomorrow while it's being redone," Arceus announced as most of the legendaries cheered. Well, except for Solgaleo and Lunala of course. The bat was extremely drowsy, being that it was five o'clock in the afternoon and she had been kept up since noon, but still shared the same look of shock as Solgaleo, who was fighting his incoming drowsiness.

-000-

When the meeting was over, the two immediately went to the Alpha and Renegade Pokemon's shared room. After knocking numerous times, they were eventually let in, with Lunala slowly floating in behind Solgaleo.

"Oh, it's you two…" Giratina said. "How's the show going?"

"It's fine…" Solgaleo explained. "But why Melemele Island!?"

"Is that a problem?" asked Arceus.

"Well, yes! Our next challenge is being held on Melemele Island and we have a strict schedule dealing with the challenge locations!" Solgaleo exclaimed.

"Well...isn't this you guys' last challenge before the merge?" asked Giratina.

"Yeah…" Lunala yawned, but still as concerned as Solgaleo. "What does-"

"Let's see if they have the moxie to drive them there…" Giratina continued. "Have them deal with the legendaries not hosting their shows today. Really see who has what it takes to make it to the merge…"

The Cosmic Duo exchanged looks of unsurety. What about the challenge that was already planned. Just then, Solgaleo had an idea that'd be extremely beneficial. He knew that Lunala wouldn't like it, though.

"Wait...we can have the challenge at night again!" Solgaleo exclaimed.

"WHAT?!" Lunala screeched in protest. "I have plans with Yveltal tomorrow night and you know it!"

"Yes, I know, but come on! Do you think the challenge will do well with all of these guys running around?!" Solgaleo exclaimed.

"Well, no, but I need-"

"How long is the reconstruction gonna take?" Solgaleo asked, cutting her off.

"It starts around 10 in the morning and ends at 10 at night…" Arceus replied with a stoic tone, annoyed at Solgaleo's desperation.

"See! They'll still be there!" Lunala screeched with a glare.

Solgaleo groaned.

"Why do you want me to be the one to do this next one?" asked Lunala. "You're perfectly fine…"

"Yeah, but I have a crossover special planned with good Victini and he doesn't really know you that well…" Solgaleo explained.

"Uh...and why can't I be there?!" Lunala exclaimed.

"The schedule…." Solgaleo replied.

"I'm pretty sure we can break it at that time!" Lunala screeched with a glare. "Jackass!"

"Well SOH-RRY!"

"So, Solgaleo, you'll be the one to host your next challenge, following your schedule…" Arceus replied. "And the challenge after will feature both of you. Simple as that…"

"And you're just gonna have to deal with the others being around tomorrow morning…" Giratina added. "Hell, most of them don't even give a fuck about you guys' show, so you shouldn't be worried about anything."

Solgaleo groaned.

000

Pyukumuku was on the seventh floor with Incineroar and Lycanroc. Oricorio's elimination didn't really have a huge impact on life in the hotel, but she was still semi-missed.

The three of them were watching Mission Impossible and enjoying themselves fully. However, once it ended, they started up another conversation. But, before they did, Incineroar had a question.

"So, uh...how's Hakamo-o been since Oricorio's elimination?" he asked.

"She's...still a bit upset about it," Lycanroc replied. "I mean, Haka and I are close, but I think she's gonna need some distance for a while."

"Well, not only did that bitch target me and her, she fucked up her social game…" Incineroar said with a sigh.

"Yeah…" Lycanroc replied. "But, I'd rather not talk about it right now."

Incineroar nodded in understanding. He decided to change the subject. "So...how's your love life been?" he asked curiously. "Outside of the game, of course…"

Lycanroc giggled with a blush.

"I'm still a virgin…" they both heard before turning to Pyukumuku with shocked expressions. Not because they couldn't believe it, but because it was so...sudden.

"Uh...well, that's new", Incineroar chuckled.

"Yeah…" Lycanroc chortled, picking up the little guy and putting him on one of her legs. "You'll get someone one day little guy," she said, scratching his head. Pyukumuku gurgled comfortably.

Incineroar chuckled. "You'd be great with kids…"

"Hey, I have two little brothers back home, I kinda have to be…" Lycanroc said with a smile. "Speaking of kids...are you and Lucario planning?"

"Um...I seem to recall asking you something, first…" Incineroar said playfully.

Lycanroc smacked her lips. "Okay, fine. I've had my first kiss, but...I'm still a virgin. I think I told you guys before…"

"Well if you did, I don't remember…" Incineroar replied. "But still, that's...pretty great, but also weird. I never saw you as a slut, but it just seems like you have what any guy would want…"

"Yeah, what any guy would want, but the guys that approach me hardly ever have what I want…" Lycanroc replied, looking down a bit.

Incineroar raised a brow. "Well, what's your type of guy?"

"Well, that's kinda the thing. I don't know…" Lycanroc explained. "Probably someone like you or based on how you describe him, Lucario. Someone that's fun and easy to talk to. Playful. Cute. Protective. Abrasive when needed…"

"Oh…" Incineroar responded, understanding her thought process. She wanted a 'best friend' type of boyfriend. He and Lucario had been friends since they were young and now they're close to getting married; he knew that it didn't always end that way, but he had hope.

"Now, I seem to recall asking you something…" Lycanroc retorted, folding her arms with a sneer.

"We haven't talked about it. Simple as that," Incineroar replied.

"Wow, so I give a detailed answer, and you just say 'we haven't talked about it'," Lycanroc said, shaking her head, giggling.

"Hey, it's the truth," Incineroar replied, rubbing the back of his head.

"I don't know if I want kids," Pyukumuku added, causing the two to stare at him before chuckling.

000

Dhelmise felt really accomplished after Oricorio's elimination. Not only had he gotten rid of three threats now, but...well, that was all he really did. He still felt good about it.

"If anyone's gonna screw with anyone, it's gonna be me," he told himself, hanging on his nail. He started thinking about the dwindling game in a more practical way. There were only six of them left, much to his enjoyment, but seeing who they were, he started thinking that Oricorio's plan could have worked well in his favor as well.

"Oh well," he said nonchalantly. "One less annoyance to deal with."

He heard a knock on his door again and groaned. He wasn't gonna let whoever this was in; he learned his lesson from last time. He floated to the door and just stayed there.

"The last person who visited me got eliminated. Go away," he said before floating back to his bed.

"Dhelmise, open the damn door," it was Togedemaru.

Dhelmise really didn't want to let her in considering he didn't like her, but there had to be a good reason for it. He started heading back to the door, but stopped halfway. With what he dealt with with Oricorio, this couldn't possibly be any better. Especially if it was Togedemaru.

"What do you want? I'm not letting you in…" he replied.

Togedemaru scoffed. "I don't want to be in your dumb room anyway," she replied. "I just want to talk to you and that's it."

"Last time I had someone say that, they annoyed the hell out of me…" Dhelmise replied.

"You're annoyed by anything, bastard," Togedemaru retorted with a deadpan tone. "You annoy the hell out of everyone else, too, so you can't complain…"

"Lycanroc and Pyukumuku are fine with me. Your opinion is invalid…" he riposted.

"OPEN THE DOOR!"

He opened it slightly before closing it. "Done…"

Togedemaru growled. "Fine! I wanted to talk a temporary alliance, but of you're gonna continue being a tool, then fuck you!"

"Ah, I don't need an alliance," Dhelmise responded haughtily. "We'll win the next challenge with Oricorio gone now. The only reason we lost the last challenge was because she distracted me and you two got lucky."

"Uh huh, sure…" Togedemaru replied. "We'll see about that…"

Dhelmise didn't hear anything else after that and just went back to his bed.

000

"Is everyone here a fucking moron?" Dhelmise questioned. "Because first, Oricorio just tells me everything, thinking it wouldn't backfire. Now, Togedemaru wants to create an alliance with me for Arceus knows why…"

"And alliance between teams consisting of two players is an awful idea because we're both on chopping blocks! There'd be absolutely no point!"

000

Hakamo-o was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Despite Oricorio's elimination happening days ago, she still felt hurt. Sure, they somewhat made up before she left, but it didn't feel that sincere. This was partially a reason that she didn't care about making friends; she had a feeling that something stupid or unconventional would happen and it'd cause her some sort of angst or sadness.

She hated showing sadness and vulnerability; it made her feel weak. The entire ordeal made her rethink her friendship with Lycanroc. If Oricorio was going for her, what if Lycanroc was doing the same thing? Sure, she warned her, but that was probably to keep her in her favor. The entire situation just made her paranoid.

"I don't know what to do… she said to herself. "Do I keep being friends with her or do I distance myself for my own safety?"

Then, she thought about the merge. The numbers were pretty down, being that only six of them were left. She could still be friends with Lycanroc in the meantime, in the merge, she could take her out. She couldn't take any chances.

000

"I don't know what to make of anyone anymore…" Hakamo-o admitted. "Oricorio doing that was unpredictable! I don't want to go through it again with Lycanroc if she's gonna be the same way…"

"I'll play along for now and...maybe talk to her?" she started. "She could lie, but, I'd at least like to hear that she wouldn't target…"

A sudden realization hit her that brought a small smile to her face. "Wait, she's not interested in targeting ANYONE", she recalled. "She only went for Oricorio because she was upset, but when I mention targeting Pyukumuku or targeting someone in general, she looks sincerely worried!"

"Well...that's a crisis averted…" she said, wiping her head in relief. "Well, I know that I can trust her, but the rest of them are still wild cards. One thing I know for sure is that Dhelmise is gone the very next time we lose a challenge. Oricorio took his spot last time, but now it's a sure thing."

000

The next day

000

It was 5:18 the next morning. Lycanroc was lying on the floor of the seventh floor, using one of the beanbag chairs as a pillow. She didn't know what time it was, but it felt really early. She didn't like waking up too early and groaned to herself. When she finally gained feeling in her sides, she felt a feeling of warmth against her and noticed that a large, familiar paw was resting on her thigh. She blushed and turned to look behind her.

Incineroar was there, sound asleep, with Pyukumuku sleeping near his tail, using it as a blanket of sorts. She knew that there was no chance of them getting together, but that didn't mean that she couldn't get a little closer. She blushed more and nuzzled into chest, feeling a sense of serenity overtake her as she dozed back off.

000

"Ugh, why does he have to be taken and gay?!" Lycanroc howled in distress. "He's so cute and warm!"

"I think I'm falling for him, but it's freaking wrong!" she exclaimed.

000

A couple of hours later, all three of them were starting to wake up. Incineroar's eyes flickered open and he groaned to himself, retracting his arm from whatever he had it on. He looked down and saw that his paw had been resting on Lycanroc's thigh the entire time. He didn't panic or anything, as he didn't really care. He was comfortable with his sexuality and Lucario knew that he wouldn't do anything. Especially with a female.

Lycanroc was attractive, yes, but Incineroar didn't find himself attracted to her in the slightest. The fact that she was snuggled up against him made him smile. He carefully sat up, so he wouldn't disturb her. It didn't work, though, as she whimpered slightly before yawning and opening her eyes.

"Good morning sunshine…" he commented jokingly.

"Haha…" she replied as she started standing up, popping her back. "Man, I should start sleeping in my room again. Sleeping on the floor so much is screwing with my back…"

"Yeah, same here…" Incineroar said, bending his back.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's the reason…" Lycanroc said with a smirk, making Incineroar blush.

"Hey, I haven't had sex since last Friday. I doubt that Lucario left that big a mark…" Incineroar chuckled. "Plus, I'd be walking funny if he did…"

Lycanroc blushed upon hearing that. "Well...uh...I didn't know he was that…"

Incineroar cut her off in an instant. "Forget that I said anything. Just forget it…"

"He's got a big meat stick," Pyukumuku said cheerily, causing Incineroar to groan and cover his face in embarrassment as Lycanroc started laughing.

000

"Arceus, I've got to stop bringing him up!" Incineroar exclaimed. "Sorry honey…"

000

Togedemaru sighed, as she was once again eating eggs, bacon, and toast, but drinking Nanab Juice this time around.

Dhelmise floated into the area, hoping that food was still there. Thankfully, there was. However, upon seeing Togedemaru's unusually small plate, he couldn't help but bother her.

"So…" he started, floating over, "...finally decided to stop stuffing your face with anything that's not moving?"

Togedemaru glared at him. "I wanna eat more than this, but it slows me down. I'm trying to stop eating so much…"

"Congratulations, you're gonna fail…" Dhelmise replied.

"Go fuck yourself," Togedemaru growled.

"So, the alliance offer is off the table?"

"Why? Do you want to-"

"No. Just toying with your desperation," Dhelmise cut her off.

"I'm not desperate," Togedemaru retorted. "I just wanted some security and an agreement before the merge! Which is likely going to happen next challenge or this challenge."

"Nah, I work alone, " Dhelmise said. "Plus, you're a fatass. I wouldn't be able to save you for long."

"I am NOT a fatass. I have high metabolism!"

"Like that makes a difference," Dhelmise said, rolling his nonexistent eyes.

"Just get the hell out of here!" the Roly-Poly blustered.

Dhelmise snickered. "Gladly…" he replied. "I'm just here for a pancake…"

As he floated over to the island, Togedemaru was curious. "Uh...how the hell do you even eat?!"

"That's my business and my business alone…" said Dhelmise as he got a pancake on a plate and started floating out.

Togedemaru rolled her eyes.

000

1.5 hours later

000

Majority of the legendaries were ready to set off to Melemele Island. Lunala was sound asleep in her room, insisting on just staying behind and cooperating with the builders when they got here. Solgaleo grumbled to himself, especially since Entei was still eyeing him seductively despite their deal. At least there wasn't any more inappropriate stalking.

He looked at the clock and saw that it was 9:53. "Well...time for me to head off…" Solgaleo said to himself.

He teleported away from the group, leaving the remaining legends to converse. A grin formed on Victini's face after he watched him leave.

000

"CONTESTANTS! BRING YOUR ASSES DOWN HERE!" Solgaleo exclaimed over the mic on the front desk. He groaned to himself. "I can't believe that all of the non-hosting legendaries have to go on the exact island that I'm hosting on! Why couldn't they go to Ula'Ula, Poni, or Akala!?"

"Wait...I should have said that yesterday. FUCK!" he roared. "It's probably too late to change their mind on the location. Arceus, fuck me..."

A few minutes later, the elevator opened and the final six competitors exited.

"Good morning…" he said in a faux cheery manner.

"Any morning with you is not a good morning…" Dhelmise retorted.

"Same with you…" Solgaleo replied. "Now, before we head to Melemele for your next challenge, there is something that you must know."

The contestants exchanged perplexed expressions. Solgaleo sighed. "Well, today, the Hall of Legends is being remodeled to accommodate the Ultra Beasts and Guardian Deities. So, the producers decided that while the remodeling is happening...all of the legendaries currently not hosting their competitions will be relaxing on Melemele until it is finished."

All of the contestants wore shocked and bewildered expressions. Had they heard him correctly?

"Who whoa whoa. Are you saying that the island we're supposed to be having a challenge on...is going to be infested with your sadistic friends?!" Hakamo-o exclaimed.

"Yes, but don't worry. We're gonna be done with the challenge pretty fast depending on you all's performance…" Solgaleo explained. "You won't deal with them for long."

"Hopefully," said Incineroar. "Some of them, I'm sure, are mentally unstable."

"Now, because I don't want to encounter them, today, I'm going to teleport us to the island and the area where the challenge will be taking place…"

"Finally. It took your fellow terrible brethren coming around for you to actually use common sense," Dhelmise replied.

"Ignoring that…" Solgaleo continued. "Let's get to the challenge site and hope that we don't encounter anyone."

000

The contestants were all teleported to Route 2.

"Welcome to Route 2," Solgaleo introduced. The contestants looked around the part of the route they were standing in and were confused. There was nothing there.

"Uh...what the hell is supposed to happen here?" asked Togedemaru.

Lycanroc looked around and groaned. "This is near the cemetery…"

"CEMETERY?!" Incineroar exclaimed.

Dhelmise floated toward a sign next to Solgaleo to check if Lycanroc was correct. Seeing this, Lycanroc snickered. "Dhelmise. I live on this island. I know what's where…"

"Wait, you live here?!" Hakamo-o exclaimed. "You didn't let us know…"

"I'm trying to focus on my experience in the game…" Lycanroc replied. "And I didn't really think it mattered…"

"It doesn't," said Dhelmise as he floated back to the group.

"Alright, if you'll follow me, I'll explain your challenge," Solgaleo started as he began walking toward the cemetery. The contestants exchanged looks before hesitantly following him.

-000-

They all entered the domain of death, but got the surprise of their lives upon seeing who was there already. Solgaleo growled to himself. There was an ENORMOUS set of bleachers in the furthest corner of the cemetery with numerous legendaries there. The kicker...they were all male.

Among them were Victini, Mew, Palkia, Raikou, Entei, Darkrai, Latios, Thundurus, Necrozma, and Volcanion.

"What is this, the sadist gallery?" Dhelmise questioned.

"What the hell are you guys doing here?!" Solgaleo roared. "This island is huge enough for you to go ANYWHERE ELSE!"

"That's true, but I decided that it'd be much more entertaining to see how you handle your competitors…" Victini said with a smile.

"This was purely his idea…" Latios added. "We just went along because most of us are bored…"

The other guys nodded and grumbled in agreement, causing Solgaleo to twitch. "You guys...never showed real interest in the show before. Why start now?"

"We're not allowed back in the Hall until 10 PM…" Darkrai stated. "Deal with it…"

Solgaleo groaned.

"Just do what you normally do…" Volcanion stated.

Solgaleo took a breath before turning back to the competitors, who were all completely taken aback and perplexed.

"Okay. Just ignore them," Solgaleo started. "Today's challenge is a bit complex."

"I'm sorry, but after being exposed to all of this, complex is no longer a word I'd use…" Hakamo-o said, folding her arms.

"Pressurized", Pyukumuku said shortly after.

"I don't think that's the right context for that word, but whatever…" Solgaleo replied. "Call it whatever you want. Now, our interns have buried numerous items around this large area of land. Your goal is to find these items, and exchange them for berries. Each item you find is worth a different amount of berries…"

"Whoa whoa...you've lost me," Raikou interjected from the sidelines. "What specific items and what are the berries for?"

"I'm pretty sure he was going to get to that, thundercat," Necrozma said with a glare.

"What even are you!?" Raikou retorted, causing the Prism Pokemon to tighten his glare.

"Anyways!" Solgaleo exclaimed, bringing everyone's focus back onto himself. "When you find your items, you must take them out of the cemetery, where you will find A. Ratt, who will give you berries depending on the items you have. Once you have those berries, you must rush to Verdant Cavern, and at the entrance, you will find two bins. One white and one purple. The white is for the Solgaleos and the purple is for the Lunalas."

"There are seventy-five items hidden around here and the challenge will end when all of them are found," the lion continued. "The team that has the most berries by the end will win."

"Okay, and what the hell are the items?" asked Incineroar.

"Protectors, King's Rocks, and Dragon Scales," Solgaleo said with a groan. "Protectors are worth 1 berry, King's Rocks are worth 10, and Dragon Scales are worth 100. And yes, as you can probably guess based on how much they're worth, Dragon Scales are the rarest ones. I had the interns only bury five of them. The rest are half and half King's Rocks and Protectors."

"Geez, that is a crap ton of bullshit…" Thundurus commented.

"Welcome to the show, scrub…" Darkrai retorted, causing the Bolt Strike Pokemon to glare back.

"Alright. You've gotten your information," Solgaleo continued. "Now, for your digging tools…"

"Yes, we need shovels, of course…"

"Actually, as an advantage for winning the last challenge, the LUNALAS get shovels," Solgaleo said as two shovels appeared next to Incineroar and Togedemaru.

"Oh come on, that's bullshit!" Hakamo-o exclaimed. "No one mentioned advantages for winning previous challenges since the dancing and fishing challenge!"

"Well, Lunala did one, and now so can I…" Solgaleo retorted.

"Well, what do we get?" asked Pyukumuku.

The clattering of metal was heard as four silver spoons dropped onto the ground in front of them.

Lycanroc picked up one of them. "Oh this is just cruel…"

"You losers lost! Take your lumps," Entei shouted.

"Quiet you!" Solgaleo roared, which made Entei wink at him with a smile. He twitched again and growled. "Your challenge begins now," he said as he walked off, grumbling to himself.

The contestants watched him leave before turning back to the peanut gallery of legends.

"Well, you heard him. Get to work!" Darkrai exclaimed. "You're our entertainment for today…"

The contestants exchanged nervous looks, but decided to get started, ignoring the legends.

000

"This is the dumbest thing that I've ever experienced…" Hakamo-o commented, using her claws to dig around the cemetery.

Pyukumuku was using a spoon, while Dhelmise was using his ghostly abilities to dig things up quickly. Lycanroc was the only one not doing anything. It just wasn't right. It was a cemetery for Arceus' sake! A few of her relatives were buried here, too, and she wasn't going to let any area around them be desecrated.

Hakamo-o noticed that Lycanroc wasn't doing anything and instead was holding a rather passive expression. She was confused and also a bit suspicion now. She cleared her of any suspicion regarding targeting, and she hadn't done anything to insinuate that she was up for sabotage.

She growled to herself. "Don't jump to conclusions. Talk to her…"

She took a breath and stopped digging just as Dhelmise dug up a King's Rock. "First blood!" he announced as he started floating out of the area.

Hakamo-o rolled her eyes before she saw Lycanroc sit down in front of two graves in the right furthest row they were searching. She slowly approached her as Pyukumuku continued digging with his spoon.

"What's the matter?" Hakamo-o asked softly, kneeling down to her level.

Lycanroc turned to her momentarily before sighing and turning back to the graves. "My grandma and uncle are buried here…" she revealed, causing Hakamo-o's eyes to widen in disbelief.

"Wait, they're really-?" Hakamo-o started before the wolf pointed at the graves before her. She swallowed in sudden discomfort. "Oh. I'm...I'm sorry, Lycanroc…"

Lycanroc sighed. "No, it's fine. My grandma died seven years ago and my uncle died five months ago…" she explained. "But, I don't want anyone to dig over here, if you don't mind."

Hakamo-o nodded, patting her on the back before rising back to her feet and going back to her hole.

-000-

Incineroar noticed his friend kneeling on the ground in front of a few graves and grew concerned. He had already dug up the grave closest to the entrance and found a couple of King's Rocks and a single Protector. That was 21 berries right there. He handed them off to Togedemaru, who immediately headed off.

He started walking towards Lycanroc, ignoring more heckling from the legendaries watching.

"Aw...going to check on your girlfriend on the other team?" Victini mocked. "Your team literally consists of two people! I think you should focus more on the challenge…"

"She's not my girlfriend, asshole!" Incineroar roared back as he made it next to her. "Hey…" he greeted softly, putting a paw on her shoulder. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she replied with a smirk as she nuzzled him. She sighed shortly after. "I just don't think I can do this challenge. These are people's relatives! We can't just dig them up. It's disrespectful."

"I understand," Incineroar replied with a nod. "But, I think that the cemetery would go back to how it was initially when the challenge ends…"

"Sure, but, I just wouldn't help but feel guilty anyway," she explained. "Plus, my grandma and uncle are here. I just can't do it!"

Incineroar hugged her close. "It's fine, sweetie. If you all end up losing somehow and they choose to eliminate you for having a heart, they're gonna have to deal with me…"

Lycanroc sighed in relaxation, a small smile on her face. When the hug ended, she couldn't help was frown slightly as he started walking back to the section where he and Togedemaru were digging.

As he went back to his shovel, Incineroar couldn't help but notice Lycanroc staring at him with a rather mixed expression. She was smiling a bit, but her eyes had a look of sadness. He started digging again, eventually making it five feet below the ground.

"Hey, Tony the Tiger!" the Heel Pokemon heard from in his hole. He growled and pulled himself up and out of it. He turned to the legendaries, where he was sure the insult came from.

"What?" he asked abrasively.

"You wanna explain why you're acting you're afraid to fuck the wolf?" Darkrai questioned.

"I'm not afraid. I just consider her more as a friend than anything," Incineroar replied, taking his shovel out of his hole, as he hadn't found anything else buried where he was.

"And why is that?" asked Latios. "Are you gay or something?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Since that was your first thought, I'm guessing that means that you are gay…" Incineroar retorted as he started digging at the grave directly beside the first one.

Latios blushed and growled at him as the other legends snickered and laughed. "He got you pegged and you didn't even have to admit it!"

"Fuck off!"

Incineroar grinned to himself and continued digging.

000

Dhelmise had already teleported the berries he received to the bin at Verdant Cavern and was heading back to the cemetery, while Togedemaru was running as fast as she could toward Verdant Cavern, dropping berries along the way.

"I should have made him get the berries. His arms are bigger!" Togedemaru exclaimed.

She eventually made it to the outside of the cavern where the bins were and sighed in relief as she dropped them all into her team's bin. She looked at all of the berries in the bin and her mouth watered a bit as her stomach growled. She bit her lip and looked around.

"Well...one berry couldn't hurt," she told herself as she reached down and picked up a Sitrus Berry. "Plus, it's healthy."

She popped the berry in her mouth, allowing the juice to burst in her mouth. She swallowed it with a smile and shuddered. She stared back down into the bin and looked around once more. "Another one wouldn't hurt…" she said as she pulled out a Razz Berry and started gnawing on it before actually starting to walk away.

000

All of the contestants continued digging with the legendaries that were there watching with bored expressions.

"Come ON," Victini whined. "This is boring as hell! There needs to be some explosions or cannons, some type of hindrance!"

"Hey, he left," Mew replied. "Maybe you can do what you want."

Victini gained an evil grin and suddenly, a large cannon appeared next to them that was aimed at the contestants.

"This...should be eventful…" Latios said with a smile.

000

Hakamo-o dug up two more Protectors just as a soccer ball zoomed past her face. "What the he-" she started before getting hit in the gut with a bowling pin.

Growling, she saw the cannon firing next to the legendaries and clenched her left fist. She dodged a few tennis balls from the cannon, rushing toward Lycanroc. "Here, you be the one to take the items and get the berries…"

Lycanroc nodded as she took the Protectors and started running out of the cemetery, dodging the items that were there.

"Hey! AIDS Incarnate! Lay off!" Dhelmise exclaimed. "This ain't your show!"

"We can do what we want. We're better than you!" Necrozma retorted.

000

"Just as egotistical as ever…" Dhelmise muttered. "If I wanted things to be shot at me, I would have been a porn director!"

000

Incineroar dug up a few more Protectors, three to be exact, and saw a coffin that seemed to be disturbed. Were the interns that bold as to disturb an actual coffin? Opening the coffin, he jumped back, seeing a corpse of a Meowth with a King's Rock on its head. The corpse had decaying flesh on it and smelled extremely bad.

Incineroar gagged to himself didn't want to touch it at carefully examined it and slowly reached for the King's Rock, only for the corpse to lunge upward, making Incineroar fall back in shock.

The corpse laughed creepily before lying back in the coffin. "What...the fuck?" he growled as he got back on his feet.

He approached the smelly body and, upon further inspection, noticed a tag on its tail. It was a doll. Growling, he slashed off its head before taking the King's Rock off of it.

Just as he climbed out of the new hole, dodging a basketball to the face, Togedemaru re-entered the scene. Upon seeing the cannon, she growled and immediately used Thunder on it, causing it to malfunction and stop working.

"Hey!" Entei growled. "That was our source of added entertainme-"

"Shut up, you're all just lazy, dumbass spectators!" Togedemaru exclaimed, walking over to the newly dug-up items from Incineroar and carrying them back off.

"Thanks…" Incineroar said as he dusted himself off.

"Whatever…" Togedemaru replied as she left.

000

Solgaleo groaned as he plopped on the beach, where most of the female legendaries and few of their spouses were relaxing. The others noticed his demeanor and couldn't help but question him.

"So uh...why so glum?" asked Meloetta as she lied out on a beach chair with sunglasses on.

"You realize that some of the guys are fucking with my contestants and my show, right?" he replied.

"Well, that's to be expected at this point…" Rayquaza spoke up, coiled next to Zygarde. "When they get bored, they stoop to their irritating habits. Especially when it comes to these competitions and pain in general."

"They never gave a damn about the show before, but now they're just heckling me," Solgaleo replied. "It may have just started but it's still annoying as all shit!"

"Well, just do what the rest of do…" Celebi started.

"And that is?"

"Assert yourself...or ignore them," Kyogre replied. "They thrive on reactions for the most part. Who all is there?"

"Uh...Necrozma, Darkrai, Victini, Mew…" he listed, "Entei, Raikou, Latios, Thundurus, Volcanion, and Palkia…"

"Oh, so the usual bunch of misfits, minus Keldeo and Genesect…" Articuno acknowledged.

"Hey!" Genesect exclaimed as he played in the sand.

"You know that it's true," Virizion said, speaking up.

"You're sharing Cobalion with Xerneas. I don't think you have room to talk, missy…" Genesect retorted.

"My life goal is completed…" Keldeo stated as he was buried in the sand in a taco sculpture. "I have BECOME a taco."

"Seriously, what the hell did you ever see in him?" Jirachi asked to Suicune, who rolled her eyes.

"So...ignore them, huh?" Solgaleo asked, getting everyone back on track.

"It works like a charm," Celebi said. "Victini acts like a jackass for attention, Mew is just Mew, Palkia, Darkrai, and Necrozma don't really give a shit, Volcanion loves pain, Latios is just mad that no one loves him, Raikou is a smart idiot, Entei is a horny grouch, and Thundurus is just a follower."

"Jeez, the way you list them makes it seem like you've dated them all…"

"Hush, you," Celebi responded.

Solgaleo sighed. "Well, I'm just gonna go back and hope that they haven't screwed with my contestants that badly…"

"Knowing that Victini's there...you should expect the worst…" Xerneas replied.

"Thanks!" Solgaleo said sarcastically as he headed back to Route 2.

000

When we last left the competitors, they were still digging for evolutionary items while legendaries heckled them and tried to make things more fun for their own amusement. Each time was able to get more items, specifically the Protectors and King's Rocks. No Dragon Scales had been found yet.

Pyukumuku had been digging in his same spot with the spoon since the challenge started. He was getting particularly bored with it, which was unusual for the little guy. He threw the spoon down and sighed. "This challenge is hard…" he said frustratedly.

"No, I don't think that's the case…" Volcanion spoke up. "You're too small and weak to do anything."

"Oh...right," Pyukumuku said, not really taking any offense to Volcanion.

"Ignore the idiots, Pyukumuku," Hakamo-o said as she continued to dig. "They're not gonna do anything but distract us…"

"Hey, a little distraction goes a long way!" Raikou added.

"Fuck off!"

Solgaleo re-entered the scene, with the contestants sighing in relief and the legendaries groaning in disappointment.

"I thought you were leaving them unattended like we do…?" Mew asked.

"I was, but then I remembered that you fucks are here," he retorted as Lycanroc ran past him with three King's Rocks. He turned to the contestants. "How've things been going?"

"Well, we have no progress on the Dragon Scale, but we've been going through hell thanks to your little friends over there," Incineroar explained. "Cannons, heckling, slingshots, tennis ball launchers, baseball launchers. It never fucking ended!"

"What the hell? I wasn't even gone that long!"

"I'm pretty sure forty minutes counts as long…" Latios replied.

Solgaleo didn't respond and remained focus on his competitors. "Well, keep it up. I'm not leaving this time, so there won't be any bullshit…"

"Wow, you're actually making us think that you care," Dhelmise said. "Very nice move…"

"Dhelmise, I swear…" Solgaleo started threateningly.

Togedemaru came back to the scene, wiping her mouth as Incineroar took out another Protector. The Roly-Poly Pokemon groaned. "We're gonna need more than just that!"

"Don't you think I know that!?" Incineroar blustered as he continued digging.

"The middle of the cemetery hasn't been fucking touched!" Togedemaru exclaimed. "Go dig there! Or dig near corners! There has to be more!"

Hearing this, Incineroar climbed out of the hole he was creating and grumbled as he made his way to the middle of the cemetery. Togedemaru followed him over to the middle and, as he started digging, a fountain of oil sprayed from the ground, coating both of them in the black substance.

"What the FUUCK!?" Incineroar roared.

"I forgot to mention that the interns also placed traps and pranks underground, too," Solgaleo said sheepishly. "Sorry…"

"Like we're supposed to believe you…" Dhelmise replied as he continued digging, flinging the dirt in the Lunalas' direction.

An object landed on Incineroar's head before falling off. Incineroar rushed away from the oil, spitting out the liquid and wiping it out of his eyes. He looked down and saw a completely black King's Rock at his feet.

He looked over to Togedemaru and picked up the King's Rock before handing it to her. He then picked up the Protector and gave it to her as well. "GO!" he exclaimed as he picked up his shovel and moved away from the spraying oil just as it started slowing down.

Togedemaru rubbed the oil out of her eyes before grabbing the objects and heading out of the cemetery.

-000-

"Now this is entertainment…" said Necrozma.

"Go fuck yourself, prism boy!" Hakamo-o exclaimed as she continued digging, only to be sprayed in the face with foam soon after.

Most of the legends laughed as the Scaly Pokemon wiped off the foam and bared her teeth. She continued digging, eventually digging up another Protector. She groaned in annoyance before simply sighing. Any points were good points.

Pyukumuku had made his way to an area that hadn't been searched yet and started using his innards to dig. Within a couple of tries, he actually dug up-

"Ooh...pretty scale," he said, picking up a Dragon Scale. He wriggled his way back over to the Dhelmise and Hakamo-o with the scale in gut-hand. They both gasped in shock.

"Nice!" Hakamo-o complimented. "Now we just need Lycanroc to come back!"

"Screw that!" Dhelmise said, taking the Dragon Scale and Protector as he floated out of the area.

-000-

Lycanroc had to get a basket to hold the thirty berries she got for the three King's Rocks and was now heading back to return it and get more items to exchange. She was hoping that the cemetery wouldn't get as damaged as she thought that it would. When she returned to the stand where A. Ratt and the berries were, she noticed Dhelmise floating back with a large cart full of berries.

"Whoa, what's all this?" Lycanroc asked, amazed.

"Pyukumuku found us a Dragon Scale!" Dhelmise explained. "Now if you'll excuse me…"

The Sea Creeper continued on as Lycanroc went up to the stand and returned the basket before heading back to the cemetery.

-000-

Togedemaru was still at the bins outside of Verdant Cavern. Currently, she was eating berries out of BOTH bins, the sweet and tangy fruits causing her to shudder from the great taste. She was covered in berry juice, in combination with the oil.

"Man, I missed eating like this…" she said, taking another berry from the Solgaleos' bin. She immediately spit it back out. "BLEHCH!" she exclaimed. "First sour one of the bunch!"

She reached into her own team's bin and felt...nothing. Her eyes widened as she looked inside the bin and saw absolutely nothing left. Only the small leaves that were left after she ate them.

"Oh no…" she whispered to herself. "DAMN IT, STOMACH!"

She quickly started throwing berries from the Solgaleos' bin into the Lunalas' before running off.

000

"Okay, hopefully nobody notices…" Togedemaru said, her body still stained from the juice and oil. She groaned. "I need my A-game back! Food keeps fucking me over!"

000

Togedemaru returned and saw four protectors and two King's Rocks next to yet another hole dug by Incineroar. She walked over to the hole, slipping on a bit of the oil still on the ground on the way.

When she got there, Incineroar was suddenly launched upward in a cloud of smoke. "AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"And so the madness continues…" Palkia said nonchalantly.

Togedemaru picked up the items and scurried back out of the cemetery. Incineroar landed back on the ground with a squeak as he landed on a gravestone. The peanut gallery erupted in laughter as the tiger groaned and rolled back onto his stomach.

-000-

"Incineroar!" Lycanroc barked as she rushed over to check on him.

"NO!" Dhelmise said, getting in her way. "No time to help the enemy. We got three more Protectors that need to be exchanged."

"Come on!" Lycanroc urged.

"Look, we need you to focus on our team right now. Worry about him AFTER we win!" Dhelmise stated, floating the three Protectors into her arms.

Lycanroc sighed, but obliged. When she saw Incineroar get back on his feet, she was more confident.

Seeing her emotions toward him, Dhelmise gained a smirk.

000

"Hmm...it seems like Lycanroc really cares about him," Dhelmise said. "I may be able to have fun with this…"

000

Pyukumuku went to check on Incineroar, who was holding his back. "You okay?" he asked.

"No," he asked in a pained tone. "Fuck this stupid challenge!"

Pyukumuku climbed up his body, surprising the Heel Pokemon.

"What the hell are you doing?" asked Incineroar, uncomfortable with the sea cucumber gripping different parts of his body.

He got on his head and they both started to glow. Incineroar was surprised, and eventually started feeling great! When the glowing stopped, Incineroar let out a glad roar. He took Pyukumuku off of his head and held him in his left hand.

"Thanks," he thanked.

"No problem," he replied chipperly.

"Come on! Healing the enemy?" Victini exclaimed. "Solgaleo, your show blows!"

Solgaleo didn't respond, he just continued observing his contestants' actions and what they did. Watching in the vicinity gave him a limited view, but it felt much more connected than just watching from numerous screens.

Incineroar looked back into the hole he got launched out of and found a Protector sticking out of the wall of the hole. He leaned down and yanked it out before handing it to Pyukumuku. "My way of saying thanks…"

"Thanks!" Pyukumuku said gratefully as he took it. Incineroar put him back down and slinked back over to the others, who watched the entire scene.

Incineroar sweatdropped.

000

"Okay...I know I said that I was going to be a jackass and fuck everyone and just be in this for myself, but I can't go through with it," Incineroar spoke. "You all probably knew this by now. Don't go rubbing it in. I wasn't expecting to get along with these people."

000

Hakamo-o was digging next to the area where Lycanroc's folks were buried. She wasn't going to mess anything up. Well, she thought. Digging next to them, she found a black box with a red laser across it. Her eyes widened.

BOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!

Hakamo-o was knocked back, into Incineroar, who fell back as well. There was large crater where Hakamo-o just was. The two of them looked at the carnage and saw that there were numerous items around now, but four gravestones, including Lycanroc's uncle and grandma, were gone.

"O...M...A…" they said simultaneously.

"Well...that's uh…" Dhelmise started. "That's bad."

Immediately, everything was back to how it was with help from Mew. He couldn't help but fix it. "What the hell Mew?!" Victini exclaimed. "Why did you fix it?! Seeing her reaction would've actually saved this wreck of a challenge!"

"Dude, that's fucked up. Even for you," Mew replied.

"Wuss…" Victini commented, as he threw a small explosive at the gravestones again.

"No!" Incineroar exclaimed, catching it, only for it to explode in his hands and launch him into the graves, knocking over the gravestones.

"Oh crap, Incineroar!" Hakamo-o exclaimed as she and Pyukumuku rushed to him. Dhelmise just watched, not wanting to get involved.

Incineroar groaned and sat up, seeing that the tombstones were now shattered. His eyes widened. "YOU JACKASS!"

"Oh get over it…" Victini said, rolling his eyes. "We can fix it later…"

"No...you are going to fix it NOW!" they all heard. They turned to the entrance/exit and saw Lycanroc, who had a look a complete and utter anger. Her paws were clenched and she was breathing shallowly, fighting back tears.

"See, told ya it'd save this challenge," Victini said before being buried by a ton of rocks and impaled by others.

"FIX IT!" Lycanroc growled angrily, tears starting to stream from her eyes.

The legendaries exchanged looks as Victini moved the rocks away. Mew immediately fixed the scene again, with Victini growling.

Incineroar and Hakamo-o walked over to their friend, with Incineroar hugging her and Hakamo-o rubbing her back.

"You know what...the challenge today is over," Solgaleo said.

"Say what now?" asked Dhelmise.

"You heard me. The challenge fucking done," Solgaleo said. "I'm not gonna just let these bastards piss you guys off for their own amusement."

"Aw...poor wittle kitty is mad…" Victini mocked. "No wonder your show's a flop."

"Nobody even cares about your irrelevant ass show anymore!" Solgaleo roared in retaliation. "Come on…" he told his contestants as they followed him out.

"You just had to act like a dickwad…" Palkia said.

"Look who's talking, dickhead!"

000

All of the contestants made their way to Verdant Cavern to find out who won. Upon reaching the area, they all froze at what they saw. Togedemaru was sprawled on the ground, both bins overturned and most of the berries gone.

"What the-w-HOW?!" Incineroar exclaimed.

Togedemaru belched in response, unable to use words at the moment.

"Well, isn't this great?" Dhelmise asked sarcastically. "Now neither team wins. Meaning that was all for nothing!"

Pyukumuku slinked forward toward the hedgehog and the bins. He tilted both of them back upwards. "That's better…"

"That accomplished jack shit…" Dhelmise commented as Solgaleo walked over with a sigh. He peeked into each bin and saw that there were three berries left in the Solgaleos' bin and two left in the Lunalas' after Pyukumuku adjusted the bins.

"Alright. Looks like the Solgaleos are the winners!" Solgaleo announced.

Nobody cheered, instead, Hakamo-o and Lycanroc looked at Incineroar, who looked agitated. "Of fucking course…" he growled.

"So uh...how's that gonna work for them?" asked Hakamo-o.

"Well, since I just want to get the hell out of here, I'm gonna say that you guys will decide," Solgaleo said. "This entire day has been fucked anyway, so why not continue it?"

000

They all returned to the hotel and stood in front of the dock. The elimination boat was already there and Togedemaru and Incineroar were standing in front of it. The Solgaleos were all standing before them, with Solgaleo looking from the side.

"Alright Solgaleos, you each will get one vote," said Solgaleo. "They each already have a vote for each other, so it's your job to determine it. Even though I'm sure that everyone knows who's going to leave…"

Togedemaru glared at him.

"Alright. Pyukumuku, you first," Solgaleo directed.

"Incineroar!" Pyukumuku cheered.

Incineroar was shocked.

"Uh...Pyukumuku, we're voting for who goes home!" Lycanroc exclaimed.

"Oh...sorry. Togedemaru, then."

"Alright then…"

"Hey that's no fair, she corrupted him!" Togedemaru exclaimed.

"Bitch, no one's corrupted anybody. Hush," Incineroar replied, folding his arms as Togedemaru growled.

"Lycanroc?" Solgaleo continued.

"Togedemaru goes…" Lycanroc said, giving Incineroar a small smile. He returned it immediately.

"Alright...that's three for Togedemaru and still one for Incineroar. One more vote and Togedemaru is gone…" Solgaleo announced.

"No shit, Sherlock…"

Solgaleo glared at him. "Hakamo-o?"

Hakamo-o sighed. "Look, I understand that I've gotten along with everyone EXCEPT Togedemaru and Dhelmise, but I'm not gonna let friendship influence the competition. I still like and respect him in every way, but...I have to vote for Incineroar…"

"WHAT?!" Lycanroc exclaimed. "Haka, why?!"

"He's a threat! I'm not trying to hurt either of you, but-"

"You're just thinking about yourself?!" Lycanroc exclaimed in shock. "I thought...I thought that you were better than that!"

Hakamo-o looked down, disheartened. "I'm sorry…"

"Welp, I guess that makes this easier," Dhelmise said. "I vote Incineroar, too. Just because I feel like it…"

"I WILL CREMATE YOU, PLANT BOY!" the tiger roared, prepared to attack him.

Solgaleo roared, getting their attention. "Well...I wasn't expecting a tie…" he admitted.

Lycanroc glared at Hakamo-o, folding her arms.

"But, because it was a tie-"

"Let me guess, you're gonna do some stupid third challenge that's gonna be completely one sided so that one of them automatically loses?" Dhelmise asked.

"What? No!" Solgaleo exclaimed. "I don't have time to plan another challenge."

"It's only 1:13-"

"In other words, I don't give a shit," Solgaleo said in better terms. "I'm just gonna be blunt and get it over with. Togedemaru, get the fuck out."

"WHAT?!" the Roly-Poly Pokemon exclaimed.

"Bitch, were you seriously surprised at all?" asked Dhelmise. "Wussy hosts like him always choose to keep the good guy. It's the status quo…"

"I thought that was the opposite-"

"Pyukumuku...hush."

"This is completely unfair! I demand a fair final challenge!"

"Okay...rock, paper, scissors for it…" Solgaleo said.

"Better than bias!" Togedemaru said, turning to the tiger, who was agitated.

"Are we being serious right now?" asked Incineroar. "She-"

"Just get it over with, Fag and the Furry-ous…"

"I WILL TEAR YOU APART AND LEAVE YOUR BODY FOR THE MANDIBUZZ!"

"Yeah, good for you…"

Incineroar twitched as he kneeled down to Togedemaru's height. "This is fucking stupid…"

They shook their hands three times. Incineroar had paper, and Togedemaru had-

"Wait, I don't-"

"Exactly. You lose. Now LEAVE!" Solgaleo exclaimed. "You're the one that made your team lose anyway!"

"Go fuck yourself," Togedemaru grumbled as she stomped onto the boat and plopped down.

"And there we go…" Solgaleo said as the contestants just headed back to the hotel. "We're down to final five. Sorry for today's episode. Everything and everyone was just batshit crazy and irritating. But, what will the final five have to go through next time? Find out next time, right here, on Total...Pokemon...Alola!"

000

And Togedemaru is gone! Wow, Dhelmise was right; anyone who visits him DOES get eliminated. This chap was just completely nonsensical. I wanted to do something mostly comical and different and...I have no idea how this turned out, in all honesty. We're down to the final five. WOOOO, and apparently they are all fan favorites. I actually pre-planned everything, so don't think that I did this just because. I can feel you doing it anyway, STOP IT! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you next time on Total..Pokemon...Alola! See ya guys, BYE!

000

"Read and review…" Togedemaru said before looking offscreen. "Alright, I said the dumb shit. Give me my doughnuts!"

000

Togedemaru spun around in a damaged swivel chair to face the camera. However, it went too far and she had to readjust it so that it was facing the cameras. "Now, I know what you may be thinking. What do I have, that other candidates might not?"

She picked up a pizza box and took out a knife among the slices. "Well, you'll just have to choose me a find out won't you?" she said before taking a bite of the knife, revealing it to be made of candy. "Mmm...so good…"

000