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Jacob Did Not Imprint
Terra106
Fluffy Otters
Only4Miken
Ava: Thank you and hope you enjoy!!
Jamie's Point of View
I didn't know what the hell I was going to do. Should I risk getting hurt again, for some crazy person I barely knew…or should I take a chance, and for once in over a year, have a possibility of being truly happy? Jacob made me feel special. Beautiful. Important. I knew that he cared about me in a way that was immensely beyond anything I'd ever experienced before; even Mark hadn't seemed to care about me nearly as much as Jacob did. And for once, when I thought of Mark's name, it didn't cause a gaping hole to form in my chest.
When I thought of Jacob's name, I actually smiled. Jacob. I could feel my cheeks turning red when I saw his beaming, radiant face in my mind. When he held me, it was like he never wanted to let go. Yesterday afternoon, even when I'd told him that I was fine, he didn't dare loosen his grasp on me. It wasn't until I heard the garage door open, the sound of my parent's return, when Jacob reluctantly disappeared. I had to admit that I missed his arms encircled about my shoulders, gently holding my back, gluing my broken pieces back together. I felt like I was in a safe haven when he was with me. Like nothing could ever hurt me. My heart yearned to give in and accept him.
On the other hand, my mind knew better. I'd been through this before. I didn't want to remember the way it felt to think of myself as ugly, alone and worthless. I did not want to ever go through anything like that ever again. But didn't Jacob take away most of the pain? Even when I tried so hard to push him out, he never flinched or backed away. He really was a loyal, honest person. But, I wondered, did he really like me, anyway? Was I just kidding myself and worrying over nothing…and that he just thought of me as a friend—a pathetic, lonely friend who just desperately needed some sympathy?
Jacob's Point of View
I burst through the door and squeezed Collin as tightly as I could.
"Hey, hey, hey!" he yelled, his face turning blue.
"Sorry, but you'll never guess what just happened, Col! Jamie let me hold her! Seriously, I think that she's letting me in! Finally! Ha hah!" I put him down and jumped on the couch.
"Are you ok? Do you have a mental problem?"
I didn't answer; just smiled wider then I'd had in a long time. "That's a yes," he said. I punched him playfully on his arm.
"Aren't you happy for me, though? I mean, finally she's responding to me! I don't think I've ever been this happy in my life!"
"Jacob, let me go! I need to breathe!" I hadn't even realized that I'd grabbed him again. Poor Col. I let him to the ground, apologizing quickly. "Dude, I am happy for you," he said, smoothing his shirt. "But don't kill me, alright?"
I laughed and shook my head. "What a day. I'm one step closer to getting the girl of my dreams! There's no turning back now, man…I just…I might love her. I think I might love her." He raised an eyebrow.
"Ya think?" he drawled sarcastically. I grinned at him. I had been in love with her since the first time I laid my eyes on her.
Jamie's Point of View
I paced up and down the sidewalk in front of my house, wishing that I was still in bed. Even the brisk morning air of Forks couldn't clear my foggy brain. I hoped that my makeup was okay...usually, I didn't wear any, but I just felt compelled to put some on today. I didn't recognize myself, in the mirror or in my weird behavior. My mind was somewhere else...the confusion of the whole Jacob situation was really wearing me down. How should I react to him at school? Should I avoid him and give him the cold shoulder, my usual behavior...should I warm up to him and not hold back? I was sure of one thing: I didn't want to move things too fast. I wasn't ready for a "relationship" just yet, if that was Jacob's intention...if Jacob had any intentions for me other than being a friend. A long, noisy honk broke me from my distressed speculations.
"Oh, crap," I muttered as I saw Alex and Nate waiting in the car. I scrambled to the driveway and let myself into the back seat.
"Hey James," Alex grinned at me as I settled my seat. "Wow, you look...different."
"Yeah, I just wanted to try something new," I replied, trying to collect myself. I nodded stiffly at Nate in greeting.
"You ok?"
"Yeah, yep. Everything's fine. It's cold today isn't it? I mean, it's almost summer for crying out loud! It should be sunny!"
Nate tried to glimpse at me inconspicuously through the rearview mirror, puzzled over my strange mood. And I knew that Alex saw right through me, too, but he didn't interrogate me about it (to my relief). I didn't want stupid Nate to be present when I would be forced to spill everything to Alex. I didn't want to think about what I would have to tell him.
The ride to school was, for the most part, awkwardly silent. Alex tried to bring up random things, making plans, or whatever, but I didn't really listen. Usually, I was all too eager to join in the conversation...but today, I kind of tuned him out. Instead, I wondered if Jacob would be waiting for me in front of the school again. Butterflies flew in my stomach just thinking about him standing there, tall and statuesque, eager to meet me. I couldn't help but smile a little. I shook my head suddenly. Don't do this again, Jamie. You'll only hurt yourself, I thought.
"Jamie, get out of the car. We're here," Alex snapped his fingers in front of my face. I blinked.
"Oh, oh, sorry. I was just thinking about something..."
"What is with her?" Nate asked in what I thought was a rude tone of voice. I glowered in his direction. Couldn't he just mind his own damn business?
"I just didn't get much sleep last night," I retorted, inhaling and exhaling deeply to calm myself down. "Anyway, I'll see you guys at lunch."
I dashed away from them without any further explanation, my hair dancing wildly in the wind. I stopped at the front building, directly facing of the parking lot. I scanned the sea of cars for the black, beat up Rabbit that looked straight out of 1982. My heart sunk a little when I couldn't find it. I sat down at the foot of one of the pillars. He'd show up soon enough.
Jacob's Point Of View
I growled anxiously.
School starts in less than fifteen minutes, Sam. Can't you find this one without me?
Jacob, we have to find this trail. You'll see her after we catch the scent.
I threw up my head restlessly, sniffing in every direction.
C'mon Sam. I bet it won't matter if one of us isn't here.
No. We need everyone to help. That's the only way that we can work this out.
I moaned. I wanted to see Jamie so badly. The only way that I could push our relationship along was if I was actually there with her. I sniffed around a tree that looked like it had been touched.
Sam, I think I got something! Thank God. I needed to get out of here right now. Sam moved to the spot and inspected it. He looked at me with pity.
Sorry, Jake. That's definitely not it.
I felt like tearing down the tree with my claws when he told me that.
Jamie's Point of View
The warning bell rang, buzzing in my ears like an insect that refused to die. I looked around once more and saw nothing that I wanted to see. I realized sadly that I was becoming exactly the type of person I'd feared most: desperate. I hauled my backpack onto my shoulders and picked up my binder, knowing that now I wouldn't have enough time to go to my locker. I treaded to my first period, ridding my mind of Jacob and my previous expectations.
During lunch, I tried not to stare at the empty seat.
"Where's Jake?" Danielle asked.
Nate shrugged. I just stared at my tray, not responding. I felt a hand softly rub my back. My head shot up. Was Jacob here? I only saw Alex staring at me, worried.
"Jamie..." Alex sounded concerned. "You're not feeling well." It wasn't a question. "I could walk you to the nurse or take you home. I'm sure missing a few classes won't ruin your grades"
I shook my head. "I'm fine, really." Alex took my hand and stood up. I did admit that I felt slightly better when he touched me.
"Just come outside. Let's talk."
Alex pulled me behind him, not paying attention to my objections. We came to an old, shady pine after exiting the cafeteria. "What's up?" he questioned seriously. "And tell me the truth."
I hesitated, shifting my feet. "Tell me," he pressed on.
"Well, I'm just upset."
"Yeah..." he urged me to continue.
"Because, um, I kind of want this...this person...to be here. But that's not really why I'm peeved."
"Then what is it?"
"Well, uh, I'm mad because I don't know what to do. And because I don't want to be dependant on this person. And because I'm letting my expectations get too high. So really, I'm just upset with myself."
Alex considered my words for a moment.
"When you say 'this person,' you really mean...Jake."
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