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Ava: Soooo. Yeah. Sorry for being so late. It was my fault. Not Aubrey's...mine. I got my laptop taken away the day we were going to post this. Me and my mom (My mom and I, I suppose) don't fight much but when we do... Anyway, I'm real sorry. And, I'm not sure, but I don't think Ava and I have answered the reviews for the last two chapters and we just want you to know that we will be answering them for this chapter. So let's thank our wonderful reviewers from last week: iRedeem, MintCcIceCream, luvableknegi, The TeddyBear In Your Bathroom, love being anonymous, anonymous, Only4Miken, Mayacompany, and Marshmalu.

Enjoy.

Oh, btw, we have a poll up. :)


Jamie's Point of View

It was pouring outside. Like always. I sighed and laid out my clothes for the next day, for the first day of school. I tried not to feel too depressed. At least I'd see Alex and Danielle. I'd even be happy to see Nate.

Jacob would be there too. I smiled blissfully. Jacob. I wondered how his summer was. It was probably better than mine.

I couldn't wait to feel his warm arms wrap around me, to meet his eyes, to taste his lips…

Suddenly, Mark was standing in my doorway. I jumped back, a quiet cry escaping from between my lips. "How the hell did you get in here?" I demanded

He smirked, his blue eyes glinting, and disappeared.

"What the…?"

"Silly Jamie," I heard Mark's voice behind me.

I swiveled around. His was lounging on my bed, arms behind his head. "Jesus Christ Mark! What do you want?"

He didn't speak for a second, just grabbed a book off of my dresser and flipped through it. "You really actually think Jacob still wants you now? After all you've done to him?"

A knot of fear appeared in my stomach. "What do you mean? Jacob loves me!"

Mark chuckled darkly. "How do you even know he liked you in the first place, huh?"

"I-I know. I just know."

"You're dating me and I disgust you. He could have felt the same."

"N-no." I heard clunks on my rooftop. Hail.

"Face the facts James, Jacob never has loved you and never will."

"Don't call me that! And Jacob was the one who liked me first!"

"You are a very pretty girl Jamie." He placed the book back on the dresser.

"What are you trying to imply?" I demanded.

"Your looks were the only reason I ever dated you," Mark smiled. "I wouldn't put it past Jacob to do the same."

"You—you don't even…Quit lying!" I screamed at him. "Quit lying you—you piece of shit!"

He snickered and vanished into thin air. I let out a shaky breath of relief and crawled under my covers.

"He never loved you, you know," said Mark's voice. I looked around my room. He wasn't there. All I could hear was the thudding of chunks of ice above me. I laid my head back down, my heart pounding. "He never will." Oh, God.

"Go away," I whispered.

"Pretty girl," he taunted.

"Go. Away. Now." Where was he? I covered my ears.

"And if he ever did love you he wouldn't now. You broke his heart. Just like Bella." The words resounded through my head clear as day.

"Please," I sobbed, "Please stop." I was so cold.

"Heartbreaker," he whispered menacingly. How could I hear him over all this noise?!

"STOP!!!" I began to shiver.

"You're unlovable. He would have left you anyway."

"HE LOVES ME!!! HE LOVES ME!!! HE LOVES ME!!!" I yelled, trying to drown out his leering words.

"He doesn't." The cold was turning my fingers blue, to ice. I couldn't feel anything.

"HE LOVES ME!!! YOU'RE WRONG!!!"

Mark chuckled. "If he loved you, he would have come and saved you by now."

"JACOB!!! He'll come." My words began to slow, losing volume, coming out like mush.

"He'll—He'll make you go away. Jacob!" I called out weakly. My lips were too numb.

"He'll come, do you hear me?" To my horror I saw ice form on my fingers, quickly creeping up my arms.

Where was he?

My heart beat slower and slower. I suddenly felt very numb, calm almost.

"Please Jacob." I breathed, feeling the ice reach over my chin to my lips.

Jacob.

My dream swerved off course, changing scenes.

We were on the cliffs again. He was holding me, pressing my back into his stomach. I was warm.

"It's okay Jamie. I'm here." His lips brushed against my ear. I sighed in pleasure.

I opened my mouth to say, "I know," but no sound came out. I was too distracted to worry too much about it; his thumb was rubbing circles on my arm. It was silent for a while. I listened to the waves beating on the rocks below.

"I-I miss you a lot, you know," Jacob said finally, painfully.

"Don't be sad," I wanted to say, but still I couldn't manage to say anything. I squeezed my eyes shut. This was my punishment for leaving him. To have to endure his pain in silence.

"Everyone says that you'll come back but…"

I shifted against him, turning so that I faced him. I buried my head into his chest. I'd come back.

We were now in my bedroom. He let go, sighing. Goosebumps raised on my arms. Don't go. I reached towards him, grabbing his torso, trying to bring him closer to me. "Please," I managed to murmur. "Don't."

He hesitated for a second, looking pained. Then he grabbed my hands, kissing each, and placed them back beside me. "Sorry Jamie. I don't think you'll be very happy if I'm in here when you wake up."

"I won't mind," I mumbled softly.

Jacob chuckled darkly, clambering out of bed. "I don't believe you. I'll see you at school Jamie."

"No," I moaned.

He leaned over me, grimacing. "Bye Jamie. I love you." I felt his lips on my forehead before everything went black.

When I woke I was crying, although I had no recollection of my dreams at all. I pulled myself over to the other side of the bed. Hazy with sleep, I could almost imagine that I could smell him on my sheets, that I could feel his warmth. I let out a broken sob. I was past missing him. I needed him. I went quickly to my drawer and pulled out the t-shirt I had lent him more than two months ago. I pressed my face into it breathing deeply. His earthy scents enveloped me, and tears leaked out of my eyes. How much longer could this last? I heard a knock on my door. I shoved the shirt back in the drawer and rubbed my hands over my eyes.

"Yes?"

"Thirty minutes till school Jamie."

"Okay Mom."

My heart pounded sporadically. I shook my head and went to get dressed.

Thirty minutes later my doorbell rang. I slung on my backpack and went to get into the car with Mark. Mark didn't talk the whole way there, but shot glances at my nervous expression. I wanted to hide myself from him, to block his condescending eyes. I realized that I hated him. I hated Mark.

When we arrived, he smiled at me, saying, "See you Jamie." And then, before I could prevent it from happening, he dove in and gave me a peck on the cheek. Bile rose in my throat. He smirked and left the vehicle without another word.

I held back tears. When had I become so weak? I made my way towards Forks High School keeping my head down. Normal behavior on my part. Abruptly, I heard someone calling my name. Danielle. I pressed forward, ignoring her, quickening my pace with each passing second. Now everyone would be mad at me. I took my time finding my locker and was relieved when the warning bell rang. I hurried to my new math class, the first one to show up. Alex was second. Quickly, I looked away. I heard him take a seat next to me. Had he forgiven me? Cautiously, I peeked over at him. There was an angry set to his mouth. I swallowed painfully. Why was he sitting next to me if he was still mad? I was sure there was a reason. I just didn't think I'd ever guess it. I put my head on the desk until class began, so I could forget myself in the lesson.


Alex left without looking at me once. For some reason, rage punched me in the gut. I bit my lip. Who needed him anyway? My anger only increased through second period, study hall. I stormed out of that classroom , hating myself, feeling even more the consequences of my actions. I glared down at my schedule. English with Mrs. Landon. Great. She was well known for being extremely tough. Extremely. And I'd heard she was one of those teachers who tried to set her students up. Like I needed to be set up. Even worse, her classroom was at the other side of the school, so I was one of the last kids to arrive.

My feelings of irritation towards the class were replaced by horror when realized who was in it. Jacob. I took a seat as far away from him as possible, feeling his gaze.

Mrs. Landon clapped. "Okay class, settle down. I will now choose your partners for the year."

The class groaned in unison, myself included. She sighed.

"Everyone stand up against the wall." Another chorus of groans. At least I wasn't the only one thinking that we were seniors, not kindergarteners. I grabbed my stuff and stood up against the wall. Mrs. Landon held a seating chart in her hands. She wasn't old, as you would expect. She looked about thirty and she was beautiful in a soft and curvy, natural kind of way. She had blonde hair and a light golden skin tone. No makeup. No high heels. No top-of-the-line clothes. Just her. And she was crazy.

She started to call out names. "Carrie Anderson and John Paine. Laurie Fairchild and Steven Ingram. Tina Ramsey and Caroline Danvers." This list went on. Finally, I heard my name, "Jamie Strickland and Jacob Black." Huh? The air whooshed out of me. Was she serious? How could I have ended up with him? Out of all the other people in the classroom, what were the freaking chances that I ended up with the one person I didn't want to be with? Panic began to well within me.

A girl beside me muttered, "Lucky." I almost laughed, I really did. Lucky? To love someone so much that it caused them pain? To not even understand why?

"You two in the back over there," Mrs. Landon gestured at us. We went to go sit down. Once seated, I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes. I felt him staring at me.

After what seemed like hours, soon the whole room was paired up. Mrs. Landon stood up at the front of the classroom. "Okay class, I'm going to go ahead and assign a project." More groans. "Don't groan at me!" she snapped. "You're seniors, expect it! The project is on the novel The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. It will be a partner project. The project will be a five page essay on the themes, motifs, and symbols found in The Great Gatsby and a visual that portrays the main points of your essay. You will both have to read the book, even if your partner doesn't mind doing the project by his or her self. I will be holding pop quizzes throughout the nine weeks on this book to discourage such behavior. I will expect to see a draft every two weeks so we can avoid total procrastination. And, let's face the facts, you probably will have to get together after school to put it all together. It's due at the end of the nine weeks."

Shit. Shit. Shit. I dropped my head onto my desk, wishing as if I could crawl into a hole and bury myself alive. Yeah, I was lucky all right. Lucky as black cats and the number thirteen. The book landed on my table.

Jacob cleared his throat. "Well, I guess we should start," his voice was hoarse, as if he hadn't used it in a while. I picked up my head, but refused to look at him. "Jamie? What should we do?"

I sighed, and then turned my head to face his. My heart picked up it's pace at his masculine features. "Why don't you figure it out?" I retorted.

"C'mon Jamie, don't do this."

I looked into his vulnerable, miserable brown eyes. My heart melted for a split second...and for that moment, I wanted nothing more than to collapse into his arms and bawl, caress his soft skin, to just give in...but I swiftly turned away and hardened in spite."Well, if you really want to know, we should read the book separately," I replied tersely. "And, while we're reading, we should write down all the themes, motifs, and symbols we see and write them down on a piece of notebook paper. Then, we should exchange our notes and discuss. Our combined list will be our first draft…That isn't too difficult, Jacob, right? Not even for you?"

Jacob didn't even flinch. I frowned. "What sort of visual do you want to do?"

I could have ignored him…I could have sneered…I had a battalion of offensive comments lined up in my head…but the thought of doing any of these things made me feel sick and very, very tired. "I don't know Jacob. You choose," I sighed.

"Are you sure Jamie?"

"Positive."

"Is a poster good?"

"Yes. When's the last time you've actually done a project Jacob?"

There was a pause.

"Never mind. I don't want to even know."

"Jamie…?"

"What?" I snapped, irritation creeping into my tone.

"I think we should talk."

My chest seized up. "I don't think that would be such a good idea," I managed.

"I just think that—,"The bell rang. I thanked God and flew out the door. Lunch was next.

Jacob caught up to me, frowning. "Jamie. Please. Let's talk."

"Jacob. Let's not," I jeered, picking up my pace.

"Yeah. Real mature, Jamie."

I didn't say anything, just swiveled around, stopping and crossing my arms. Jacob sighed.

"Emily's pregnant."

I stiffened. How much had I missed out on? And…and why should I even care? I slowly met his eyes.

"What are you doing?" The hallways were emptying.

"I'm talking to you…we're going to have to get along to do this project, James. You wanted me to get better grades, right?" A lump appeared in my throat.

"Like that's why you're really…" I began nastily before changing my mind. Tearing him down never made me feel any better. Only worse. "Look Jacob, I really don't think you should…I don't want or need to know about…I just don't like to…" I groaned. "Just stop!" I buried my head in my hands, tears of frustration clawing up my throat. "Please, just stop."

"Stop what?"

I bit my lip. "Telling me about… about them!"

"Why?"

I squeezed my eyes shut. "Because…because…Does it matter?" I snapped, "I told you to stop!"

Another pause. "Kim and Jared are getting married in five months, too."

Wow. Great. Something else that I wasn't going to be a part of. I wished he would stop. It hurt to hear about the life that I had given up. The life where I had been happy and wanted. The life where I had allowed myself to love. "So?" I asked.

"They want you to come, especially Kim. I wouldn't be surprised if you get an invitation in the mail soon."

I was shocked. "Why…why would they want me to come?"

"Why do you think, Jamie?" I saw his face flicker with emotion. Hurt. Anger. Betrayal. Hopelessness.

"I don't know," I said numbly, my mind still processing his previous expression. It was the truth. Why would they want me at their wedding? I had hurt Jacob.

Jacob just stared at me for a second before a bitter smile slowly split his face. "You don't know," he repeated slowly, incredulously. "You're an idiot Jamie. An idiot. It's obvious why."

His words burned me. I didn't deserve them. Not this time, at least. "If it's so obvious, Jacob, then just tell me!" I replied angrily.

"Because they fucking care about you Jamie! I care about you! I thought you knew that! We aren't like Mark, Jamie. Most people aren't. I wasn't going to leave you, cheat on you! You were the one that left! I loved you! I…still love you." His last sentence was a caress, barely audible.

Tears pricked my eyes. He hid his face from view.

"I miss you so much."

"I-I'm sorry," I whispered.

He looked back up at me. "Then please come back Jamie. Please."

I felt trapped. "I-I can't."

"Why not?" His voice was angry again. "Give me one good reason."

Because I love you too much…and it scares me.

"Please understand," I said softly, closing my eyes.

I heard something heavy hit the wall. A fist? Then heavy footsteps. A loud bang. Cautiously, I opened my eyes. There was a hole in the wall. And there was no Jacob. It was the first time he had ever left me without promising to come back. I started to cry.


By the time I made it to lunch, Mark's lunch table—my lunch table—was already filled to the brim with the coolest kids, some were even standing up around it. I eyed my old table. There were about three new additions, leaving two open seats. Jacob wasn't there. I found myself swallowing tears once more.

"Man, you're going out with Jamie? Damn!"

"How? She turns everyone down!" I turned back to my new table, grimacing.

"Actually, you know what I heard?" a girl babbled, "That that new kid, what's his name, um, Ja—."

"Hey guys!" I said with phony enthusiasm, cutting off what the girl was going to say.

At my appearance, the brunette sitting by Mark stood up immediately. Because that's what happened when you were with Mark. Respect. Forgiveness. Acceptance. I took the seat, my fake smile fooling everyone. It was an easy task, with this group.

"What's up?" I asked, knowing that it would start up a conversation. And it did. I tuned out their mindless dialogue until I heard Alex's name being brought up into the conversation.

"Yeah, I thought he was so cool. But in Mrs. Landon's second period I found out he was gay!" screeched Olivia.

"Where is he?" Meaghan demanded, eyes scanning the lunchroom.

"Back table."

Meaghan turned her head towards Alex and Nate who were in deep conversation, leaning towards each other. "Ooh that's soooo weird."

"I hate fucking fags," complained Mark.

I couldn't stand it one more moment. "Do you have a problem with gay people?"

"It's unnatural."

"Well I think it's ridiculous that you think that."

"What's your problem? Are you friends with that kid?"

My heart panged. "No," I muttered. "Just lay off okay? He can't help it. And if he could, it's his opinion."

Mark smiled. "Of course, I'll stop."

Yeah, right. "Whatever Mark."

"Hey, I mean it." Then, he reached over and pulled me up and...and…kissed me. I gagged into his mouth. It felt so wrong. His lips were too cold and hard. He smelled like too much cologne. And his hands in my hair yanked and tugged. I couldn't pull away though, I was frozen. The kiss seemed to last forever. When he finally pulled away, I saw Jacob standing in the door of the cafeteria, his eyes filled with agony. Holding my mouth, I excused myself to the bathroom. I leaned over the grimy school toilets, retching.

Once my stomach was empty, I flushed the toilet, and then headed to the sink to wash my face off. My throat burned and my mouth tasted terrible. I was afraid, too. And I couldn't even figure out why. I…I felt so violated and exposed and dirty…And mean. Callous. Cruel. I began to sob, but then stopped myself. I didn't need to throw myself a pity party. I needed to do something. I wiped my tears and headed back to the cafeteria. I attempted to walk normally over to the lunch table, but trembled a bit. Mark looked at me with a smirk.

"Hey babe."

It took everything I had not to slap him right then. I reigned in my animosity. "Yeah. Um, can you just come with me for a sec?"

"Anything for you, babe."

I tried in vain to smile in response. I couldn't even fake it. My contempt for him was mounting with every step. It was one of the most trying things I'd ever had to do to not blow up in his face. When we reached the outside hall, I shifted and faced him.

"Mark," I started, trying to keep my composure, "this thing between us...it can't work. It's over."

He looked down at me dubiously. Then, he burst into laughter. "Wait...you're saying...you're dumping me?"

By this point, I was seething. I didn't give a damn about anything. Hatred for him seeped from every part of my body. "Yes, Mark. Is that so fucking hard to believe? Huh? You think you're so amazing that no girl can break up with you ever again?! You're the most self-centered, moronic ass I've ever met, and I'm the same way for EVER thinking I could be with you AGAIN!"

"Hey!" He yanked my shoulders forward. "Don't you dare fucking talk to me like that! I'm dumping you, bitch!" He slapped my face unexpectedly and forced me down to the floor. I heard his steps echo through the halls, further and further away. I didn't want to get up. My face throbbed in pain, and I felt tears stream down my face. I sobbed quietly.

"Jamie?" a voice said tentatively.


Ava: So the end of this chapter totally took us off course of our plan. So now we have to reorder everything in our brain. That'll be fun.

So we have a lot of fun things today:

Jamie and Jacob actually mean the same thing. It was a total coincidence. Weird, huh? They mean like supplanter or something.

Anyone watch American Idol? We love Adam. He and his voice are gorgeous. (And we do know he's gay.) My prediction is that Scott's going home. I don't know for sure yet.

We asked you how old you thought we were last chapter? We're both freshmen in high school. Yep. I, Ava, just turned 15 two weeks ago. Aubrey's fifteen, too.

Review? For my birthday?