Bright, Shiny Futures - Chapter Eleven
"Did you have a nice chat on the drive?"
Kara dropped her bag on the counter and pulled off her jacket. "Yeah, it was nice to catch up. Eight years is a long time."
"Yes it is."
Something in Michael's tone made her look up sharply. Defiance? Maybe protectiveness? Something of a warning though the words were innocent enough. She chose to ignore it. It was late and she was already exhausted from dealing with Lee. It had been nice to see him again but she'd been on edge the whole time, every nerve ending tense and alert. It had taken most of the drive home for her to relax but her body was tired, as though it had run five laps of the ship. Ship? her mind raced. What are you doing thinking of things in terms of Galactica again? You left that life behind long ago and it's best it stay that way.
She gave him a weak smile. "Lee is coming on Saturday afternoon to see Zach."
"You'd best have a talk with him then and let him know."
She nodded. "Not till Friday though. You know how he is - if I tell him sooner he'll be a basket case at school, just waiting for Saturday to come."
Michael chuckled and put an arm around her shoulders, turning her towards the back of the house. "It's late. Let's go to bed."
She didn't miss the obvious possessiveness in his touch or words and it surprised her - he hadn't appeared to be a jealous man. But then again, perhaps that was because Lee had never been a threat before. He'd always been there in her past and though she'd been honest about her relationship with him, he was almost like part of a story or a dream - unreal. Now he was here - alive, breathing ... and sharing a connection with her that would keep them in each other's orbit for the rest of their lives, and perhaps Michael sensed instinctively that it was going to cause trouble.
When they made love, Kara found her thoughts drifting to Lee, wondering how it would feel to touch him after all this time. He filled his civilian clothes well - still muscular and without noticeable fat anywhere, and she couldn't help but see his naked body as she remembered it from so long ago when she closed her eyes. As they came together, she bit her lip hard enough to draw blood - a reminder not to cry out his name instead of her husband's.
Later, as she listened to Michael's slow, even breathing signaling deep sleep, she slid a hand down and began to pleasure herself, closing her eyes and imagining Lee's hands and body bringing her to ecstasy as he had the one night they'd fully given themselves to one another.
Afterwards her face was flushed a bright red, both from the intensity she'd experienced for the first time in a long time, and from the shame that her husband wasn't enough and it took merely the thought of another man to give her pleasure beyond belief.
She had a feeling that no matter how hard she wanted to stick to her vows, her willpower was going to be sorely tested by having Lee in her life again.
XXXXX
Lee found a flashing light on his phone waiting for him when he entered his hotel room. He pushed it and listened to the message - it was from his father, asking him to come visit as soon as he returned from Kara's place.
He'd have preferred to have the rest of the evening to himself and to break the news about Zach to his father in the morning but there was an edge to the elder Adama's voice that didn't go unnoticed, and he knew from experience that it was better to deal with whatever it was now rather than waiting and risk annoying his father further.
At his knock the door was opened almost immediately. Adama looked ... well frankly, annoyed. There was an underlay of concern and worry as well but he was definitely irritated, though doing a decent job of trying to hide it.
"Kathryn's here," he whispered, lips barely making a sound.
Lee's eyes widened in surprise, as his father's had earlier. He said nothing, just nodded his head in unspoken thanks for the warning.
Adama pulled the door wide to allow his son in. "Did you have a nice visit Lee?" he said genially, forcing a smile to his face.
"Um ... yes, we did," he stammered, smiling as he caught sight of Kathryn, seated with Laura Roslin on the couch. The President looked rather irritated as well and in a flash of embarrassment Lee understood - his absence had ruined their private evening.
"It's always nice to catch up with someone you haven't seen in a long time," he said carefully, not knowing if Kathryn was aware of Kara's lively status.
"Speaking of having not seen someone in a long time," Kathryn echoed, grin breaking out over her face as she crossed the room and pulled Lee into a hug.
He hugged her tightly, glad she was okay and out of the containment facility. "When did you arrive?" he asked.
"A few hours ago. Your father and President Roslin were kind enough to keep me entertained while I waited for you."
Lee flushed a light shade of pink, thinking of how only five minutes earlier he'd been desperately kissing Kara and wishing he could keep her in his arms forever.
She pulled out of the hug. "Did you have a nice visit with Starbuck?" she asked, voice losing some of it's softness.
"Yeah," he answered distractedly, as he stared out the window at the bright lights. "Kara's doing well. She's got a nice home and family and she's happy."
Adama stole a quick glance at Roslin. Kathryn had said Starbuck. Lee had said Kara. Perhaps Kathryn was unaware that Lee only referred to her as Kara when he was thinking of her in purely personal terms. She was only Starbuck when discussing military issues - something they'd not done very frequently since Lee's departure into civilian territory. Starbuck and Apollo were effectively dead, nothing more than legend now.
"Um ... dad, there's something I need to talk to you about."
Adama's heart began to flutter at the look in his son's eyes. It was one he hadn't seen in a long time and he felt certain it meant trouble.
"In private?" he asked, sensing the personal nature of what was to come. Lee nodded.
Kathryn stepped forward, breaking eye contact between the two men. "You shouldn't be keeping secrets from me if we're going to be getting married Lee," she stated firmly, planting herself there as much with her words as with her stance.
Roslin's eyebrows rose. Marriage? That was news to her. From the way Bill stepped backwards at Kathryn's words she knew it was a surprise for him as well.
Lee's eyes flashed as he turned on her. "I never said we were getting married," he said angrily. "You were the one talking marriage."
"You weren't objecting."
"But I wasn't agreeing either."
"No, you didn't say anything. I assumed that meant you were okay with the idea."
"You shouldn't assume anything," Lee retorted harshly. He caught the hurt look on her face and tried to back-pedal. "I didn't say we weren't ever getting married, I'm just not ready to take that step yet."
"You should have said so before."
"I'm saying it now," he said quietly. "Let's save this argument for another time, okay?" he added, painfully aware of his father's and Roslin's presence in the room.
She sighed but continued to glare at him.
Laura Roslin rose from her place on the couch and walked over to join them, linking her arm in Kathryn's. "Let's head back to your room for a while and give the men some privacy," she suggested. Kathryn looked as though she was about to protest then thought the better of it and allowed herself to be led away.
Lee smiled gratefully at Roslin as she shot them a parting glance. 'Thanks mom' he mouthed silently. She smirked and rolled her eyes.
"You might want to sit down for this," Lee said, several moments of silence later.
"It's that bad?"
"No, just surprising."
"Give it to me."
Lee took a deep breath then exhaled, trying to slow his racing heart. "I'm a father dad. You're a grandfather."
They faced each other like statues for a minute before Adama sat heavily on the chair behind him. "Lords of Kobol. Are you sure?"
Lee sat, facing him. He nodded. "I guess I'm not one hundred percent certain, but he's seven years old, Kara was pregnant when she disappeared, and he looks exactly like me at that age." He shivered. "It's uncanny - like looking at myself in a mirror and seeing me as a kid instead of an adult."
Adama was silent as he digested it. "You and Kara were ... lovers?" he asked, trying to be delicate.
Lee flushed. "For a time, yes. It ended before she disappeared though." He paused, the air heavy with embarrassment. "I thought everyone knew about us. It seemed to be common knowledge."
"I've heard the rumours," Adama said sharply, "but I choose not to believe rumours unless I can verify them. I suppose I could have asked you, but that would have been impolite. It wasn't my business what you were doing with your personal life."
Lee shook his head shamefully. "It never should have happened. We never should have let it happen, but it did. It only lasted a couple of months and then it was over."
"But she was still married to Samuel then." It was a question, though phrased as a statement of fact. "So he could be the father?"
"I suppose," Lee said slowly. "But I don't think they were ... together then. I know when our relationship started that both of our marriages were falling apart. Sam wasn't even living on Galactica at that point. I know it's no excuse," he hastened to add at his father's disapproving expression, "but it happened and we have a child together now. Kara and I are parents."
Adama's first response was to dress his son down for his lack of morals, but he bit it back. Lee was a grown man, fully capable of realizing his own mistakes and living with them. He didn't need his father telling him what to do. And there was something in Lee's voice that pulled at his heart - pride maybe? in being a father. He thought back to the day when Lee was born. He and Carolann hadn't been ready to have children - or at least he hadn't, but while he'd been scared to death of the responsibility, he'd also felt a kind of love and pride for the child he'd helped create, that he'd never felt for anything before or since then.
That same love and pride was coming from Lee now.
"What's your son's name?" he asked quietly.
"Zachary Adama Smith."
Adama's eyes stung with tears. He wiped them and sniffed. "Oh Kara," he whispered. Then he swept his son up in a hug. "Congratulations. When do we get to meet him?"
XXXXX
Lee's nerves were beginning to fray. He and Kathryn had spent over an hour together and the whole time it had been like waiting for an anvil to drop on him. He knew she was angry about not being let in on the secret he'd shared with his father but so far she hadn't said anything. He knew if he waited her out she'd have something to say though. She always did.
"Lee."
He came back to reality, unaware he'd been staring out the window.
"Hmm?"
"Are you going to tell me what the big secret is? It's obvious that whatever it is is taking up all available space in your mind at the moment."
He smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry I'm so distracted. It's just ... "
"What? Tell me." Her voice was soft and beckoning. It was times like this he couldn't resist her.
He faced her squarely. "I have a son. A seven-year-old son named Zach."
She stared at him for a moment. "And Starbuck is his mother," she said flatly. He nodded. "So the rumours are true?
He nodded again, feeling a flush creep up the back of his neck. "I never told you because ... " He trailed off, unable to think of a good reason why he hadn't told her straight out that he and Kara had been lovers.
"It seems you never told me a lot of things," she shot at him, an accusing look in her dark eyes. "You never told me you slept with her, you never told me she was pregnant ..."
"I never knew she was pregnant. Neither did she till after she arrived here," Lee argued.
"That's what she says."
Lee shook his head. "She's telling the truth, I know she is. Besides, why would she lie?"
Kathryn dismissed the question with a shake of her head. "How do you know the child is yours?"
"I just know."
"She was married to Sam. He could be the father."
Lee shook his head. "I've seen him. He looks just like me."
"You and Sam aren't exactly opposites you know," she argued. "You're both fair-skinned, blue-eyed and dark-haired. I'm sure it would be hard to tell who the father is given that fact."
Lee's face grew hard. "Why don't you want me to be Zach's father? What's wrong with the fact that I have a child I never knew I had?"
"Don't you see? It's just her way of getting her hooks into you again. Of making sure you stay firmly tied to her and no one else. She probably got pregnant on purpose to make sure she didn't lose you."
Lee shook his head vehemently. "No way. She wouldn't do that."
"Are you sure? From everything I've heard about her she's a manipulative bitch who only cared about herself."
"She would never have done something like this," he said, eyes growing diamond-hard.
"Are you so sure?"
"If you think Kara would allow herself to get pregnant just to screw me around then you don't know her as well as you think you do," he said coldly. "She never wanted to have children. Getting pregnant would have been the worst possible punishment for her."
"So what's she after now? Does she want you to take the kid?"
"Of course not! She just wants her son to have a chance to get to know his real father."
She stared at him appraisingly for a moment, hands on her hips. "If I were you I'd get a paternity test done to make sure you're his father before you go diving into this."
He stared back defiantly. "Well I'm not you. I believe her."
"Of course you do."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"She's been dead eight years and now she conveniently shows up here on Earth with a child she claims is yours? Come on Lee, think with your head. You saw her die, remember? I'll be she's a Cylon and this is all just a plot to get to you."
Lee laughed harshly. "You think Kara's a Cylon? There's no way she could be a machine. She's the most flawed, frakked-up person imaginable."
"Which is why you still love her."
He paused a beat. "Yeah, I do."
"You never stopped loving her, even after you thought she was dead."
"Haven't you ever loved anyone Kathryn? I mean really loved? Love doesn't just go away because the person does. You don't stop loving your family when they die, do you? Trust me, if I had been able to forget her and move on I would have. You're either going to have to accept that there's always going to be a place in my heart reserved for her and Zach, or it's over between us."
She was surprised Lee had had the guts to admit it. It was something she'd always guessed but he'd never talked about. And since their relationship had begun he'd pretty much let her call all the shots. She was shocked that he'd actually stood up and given her this ultimatum.
But then again, he was Apollo, former commander of a battlestar and the man who'd made his mark defending the most hated criminal alive. Underneath the easygoing exterior there was steel. He'd just never shown it in the context of their relationship before now.
"I'm going to need to think about it," she said slowly. "I'm not sure I can give you a cut and dried answer right now."
He could see the hurt in her dark eyes and was genuinely sorry. "Maybe it's best if we take a break while we decide where things are going," he said softly.
She nodded, starting to walk backwards to the door. "I"ll see you then," she whispered as she let herself out.
Lee sighed as he sat down. He hadn't wanted to hurt her but perhaps it was for the best. He knew he should have felt bad at their breakup but, as when Dee had left him, all he felt was relief that he didn't have to pretend anymore.
TBC
