Bright, Shiny Futures - Chapter Fourteen

Hera sat on the living room couch, nervously twining and untwining her fingers together. "I'm in trouble, aren't I?" she asked in a small voice.

Helo struggled to keep his voice low and relaxed. "What makes you say that honey?"

"You're letting me stay up later than my usual bedtime and you're both sitting here looking like you've got some bad news to tell me."

"No bad news. Everything's fine." Helo could tell by the expression on his daughter's face that she didn't believe him.

"We do have something to tell you, but it's not bad news," Sharon said, voice surprisingly gentle. It surprised Helo - she rarely was with her husband when the topic of Cylons came up. "In fact it's something we both share."

Hera's eyes widened and she paled somewhat as her parents explained the facts to her. She was silent a moment after they were done and Helo was afraid she was going to have difficulty with it.

"So what you're saying mom, is that you're a machine, a robot, and I'm half robot?" she asked slowly, voice totally even.

"Not a robot Hera. But yes, I'm a machine. I have circuits and programming where your father has veins and electrical impulses. We work much the same way and we look identical to humans but we're different."

"But machines are just computers that do what they're told. They don't know anything."

"Machines built by humans, yes. Cylons are much more complex. Our brains are very similar to human brains - built that way intentionally. We can think, grow and evolve just like humans can. We can feel love, hate, sadness and fear just as humans do."

"So what's the difference then? If you look the same and act the same, why do people care if you're different? Why are the Cylons our enemies?"

"It's not what they're made of that makes them the enemy Hera," Helo added in, "it's how they choose to live and the decisions they made that has pitted them against us."

"Why isn't mom one of them then?"

"I'm different Hera. I chose not to go along with my people. I didn't want to see all humans die so I did my best to try to save them. I believe we all have a right to live, and if we can work and live together in peace, that's a much better thing than always fighting."

"But the other Cylons want to kill us," the little girl said with a frown. "Why?"

"Because they think they're better than humans," Sharon answered.

"But they're not?"

"No they're not. They're just different."

Hera digested all of this for a few minutes without speaking.

"Are you okay honey?" Helo asked worriedly. "You don't seem surprised."

She turned to face him, a serene look in her eyes. "I'm not. I've always known I was different." Helo found the expression in her eyes slightly chilling, as if somehow internally she'd always known what she was and what she was capable of. "You know about the dreams don't you?" she asked.

Sharon nodded.

"My dream journal was missing and I thought maybe Kiera had it but you wouldn't be telling me all of this now if you didn't know."

Helo wondered if all children her age were so smart or if it was because she was a blending of both cultures. Either way, she was handling it much better than he'd anticipated she would. Much better than he himself was. In his head he knew telling her the truth was the right thing to do but in his heart he feared that this knowledge would make her grow up much faster and he'd be losing his little girl before he was ready.

"It's important you don't tell anyone what we've just talked about. Anyone at all. No one here knows about the Cylons."

"What about the Admiral? And the Chief, and Nick?" she argued.

"Yes they know about us but it's just best if we don't talk about it at all in case it gets out to others. You know all of the people we knew on Galactica loved you and your mom and would never hurt you."

"But the people here will?" Hera said slowly, understanding causing her heart to pound with fear.

Sharon nodded. "They might. People often have difficulty with the things they don't understand. In the beginning they didn't accept me either. It just took time."

Hera looked at her parents solemny, with a look far older than her years causing her dark eyes to seem almost black. "They can't be allowed to hurt me. I have a destiny that needs to be fulfilled. I won't let them hurt me."

Helo crossed the room and gathered his little girl into his arms. "Neither will we. I promise."

She nestled up into her father's chest, still uncertain about what was to come but confident that she had at least two people who would give their lives to save her if need be.

XXXXX

Kara arrived home several hours later, nerves on edge. She'd had difficulty concentrating during her class and things hadn't gone as well as she would have liked. The image of herself, naked, with Lee's arms cradling her and giving her pleasure just wouldn't leave, and when she finally did manage to nudge that warm, sensual image away it was replaced by one that left her feeling heartbroken and desolate - Lee having disappeared from her life forever. She knew deep inside that he did love her and wanted to be with her but she feared he was likely to exact revenge on her for hurting him by doing what she'd done to him so long ago - sharing an intense emotional time with her, making her believe there was a chance for them, and then walking away.

Her heart pounded as she pushed open the door. But her fears were unfounded. Guilt washed over her as she saw Lee's dark head bent over a book. In fact he was so engrossed he hadn't even noticed she'd returned.

"Hey" she said quietly, slipping off her jacket and shoes and leaving them on the bench by the door.

"Hey," he said awkwardly, head spinning around. "I was just trying to find something to do," he said apologetically, noting her eyes looking down at the book in his hand.

"It's okay. Go ahead."

"I've missed reading. There was so little on Galactica, and even though we tried to create a library from all the books people had with them when the attack came, there were few and it didn't take long to get through them all."

Kara sat opposite him, smiling as she relaxed into the chair. "I know what you mean. Hotdog's issues of 'Caprican Beauties' only take you so far."

"He always argued that he bought them for the articles ... "

" ... but we all knew that was bullshit," she finished. They smiled at one another, and Kara felt a twinge of that old familiar comfortable place they'd been in before things had gone wrong between them. It was warm and inviting and she was loathe to leave it.

"I need to go pick up Sara in about an hour," she said quiekly, bringing things back to reality though she really didn't want to.

"Where is she?" Lee asked.

"Babysitter. Lives near here. I promised I'd pick her up after work and we'd spend some time together before we have to go get Zach from school.."

"That sounds nice."

Kara could hear the wistfulness in his voice and for the first time felt sad that his marriage to Dee hadn't worked out. She could picture him as a father - it seemed that life was something he wanted too, from the sounds of things.

"I think she's still afraid that I'm going to go away again and not come back."

"Must have been scary for her," he said, not really knowing what else to say.

"I think so," she agreed. They lapsed back into silence. She cleared her throat. "We should get to talking then, so I can go when I need to."

He nodded. "Kara, I'm sorry about what happened earlier."

She brushed it aside. "It's okay."

"No, it's not okay," he argued. "I came here uninvited, broke into your home - well the door was unlocked, spied on you and forced you into something you didn't want to do. That was wrong of me and I apologize."

She stood and began to pace the room, chewing on her bottom lip. Finally she stopped and faced him. "I have to admit you did startle me. I never expected you to show up here like that." Her brow furrowed. "Why did you just come in? Why not ring the doorbell? I know there's no such thing as privacy on Galactica but here we prize it greatly."

"I did ring the doorbell. Several times actually. You didn't answer."

Her cheeks turned pink. "Oh, right. I was in the shower. I guess I didn't hear it."

"I wouldn't have walked in but I thought I saw a car with Michael and the kids pass me by on the road so I knew you were still home. I was afraid something had happened to you when you didn't answer so I came in to see if you were okay."

Kara flushed deeply, feeling her cheeks and neck heat up. She'd jumped to conclusions, assuming ...

Lee stood and walked over to her. "I know what it looked like but I swear I wasn't intending to take advantage of you like that. I just wanted to talk and I needed to see you ... face to face. I've missed that so much," he added softly.

She reached forward tentatively and touched his fingers with her own. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"So am I," he breathed.

Their eyes locked and each knew forgiveness was both being asked for and granted for more than just this one misunderstanding.

"I can see that you have a good life here and that you're happy. As much as I care for you, I don't want to get in the way of your life with your family." Lee's eyes were wide and deep and she could tell he was completely in earnest.

"Thank you," she said softly, then lifted the other hand to touch his cheek gently. "I still care for you too Lee, and if circumstances were different ... "

"But they're not," he finished, not wanting to hear her speak aloud the thing his heart most wanted but could never have. "We can only be friends. Nothing more."

She smiled weakly. "That's better than just being a CAG and his hotshot problem pilot."

His heart warmed as it cracked. He'd run those words over and over in his mind after her death, wishing he could reverse time so he could say and do the right thing to prevent her from dying. But despite that inability, here she was, alive and well and still treasuring those words as much as he did.

"Much better," he agreed, squeezing her fingers.

Time passed and he was unaware their hands were still joined till she pulled hers away. "So you'll be here tomorrow afternoon?" Kara said, biting her lip self-consciously.

Lee nodded enthusiastically. "I can't wait to meet him." The butterflies were already flying wildly through his stomach at the thought. Meeting his son for the very first time - it was something he was dying for but at the same time he didn't really know how to relate to children and this situation with Kara complicated things immensely.

"Do you ... want to bring your girlfriend along?" Kara offered. "We'd be happy to have her." The words burned like gall but she had to say them. It was an important gesture - he was accepting her life with Michael, she had to do likewise and accept his life with someone else.

Lee cleared his throat noisily and looked away. "We're not together anymore."

"Oh." Kara backed away involuntarily as the knowledge of what he'd done hit her like a slap in the face. "I see."

His eyes found hers again. "It wasn't really working out. I didn't realize it till we got here but she just isn't right for me."

"Lee, you didn't have to ... " she began.

"Sometimes second best just isn't good enough Kara," he said, a little harshly. "You of all people should know that. I'm learning that if you can't have your first choice, maybe it's best you have nothing at all."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, seeing the hurt almost hidden behind his eyes.

"I don't blame you. How could anyone have foreseen what was to come? You had every right to move on with your life and be happy." He swallowed. "I know you've suffered - much more than you've ever let on, and I wanted you to be happy. You deserved your chance at a good life." His voice dropped to a whisper. "I just hoped that I could be the one to give it to you."

Her eyes stung as she blinked back tears at his raw honesty. "I know. I wanted that too, but I guess I just wasn't ready when you offered it." She stopped there but the rest of the words hung heavy between them.

"I should probably go," he said after a moment, eyes blinking more rapidly than usual.

"Me too," Kara whispered, feeling a dead weight inside her heart, as though she'd just broken his again.

XXXXX

"I need to see her."

Tyrol heard the desperation in his voice but chose to argue anyway. "Come on Sam, it's over between you. Even by Colonial law your marriage would be over since she's been presumed dead for over five years."

Sam turned to face the other man. "I know that. It was already over before she vanished and I'm happy with Tory but I just can't stop thinking about her."

Tyrol frowned.

"Ever since she came here she's been in my mind - I just can't seem to get her out."

"You're married to someone else and so is she. I saw a ring." Sam nodded as the other man spoke, face still set in determination. "She's not going to be happy at you intruding in her new life, and you don't want to go down the route of having an affair with her. You've been on the other end of that - you know how much it hurts the others involved."

"I know all of that." Sam swiped his hand through his sticky hair in frustration. "I don't know how to explain it. Every time I close my eyes - even to blink, I see Kara. It's like she's right there inside my head."

Tyrol arched an eyebrow.

Sam leaned in closer. "Haven't you ever had that?" he whispered. "You know, because of what we are. Visions or things stuck so firmly in your mind it's like they're implanted?"

Tyrol's gut reaction was to deny it, but memories of the dreams he'd had before beating Cally all those years ago suddenly came to mind. He'd known with absolutely certainty - even after he'd hurt her so badly, that the two of them belonged together.

"Yeah, I know what you're talking about," he muttered. "It's freaky."

"Then you should understand why I have to see her," Sam said firmly.

Tyrol nodded. "What are you going to tell Tory? Just between you and me, I don't think she ever liked Starbuck."

"I'll think of something. I think the bigger problem is figuring out how to tell her I'm a Cylon."

Tyrol gave a long, drawn-out sigh. "Yeah, I'm worried about that one myself. I don't think Cally's going to accept it as well as Helo thinks she will."

"Me neither. Gods, what if our wives leave us?" Sam scrubbed a hand through his hair again, frustration and worry darkening his face.

Tyrol shot the bigger man a narrow stare. "Don't even think it. Maybe we're better off not telling them."

Sam shook his head. "I wish I'd never found out. I never believed it when people said ignorance is bliss, but man are they right."

XXXXX

"Congratulations dad, Laura." Lee embraced them both in an awkward group hug. "I had no idea."

Roslin pulled back and gave him a fierce glare. "Don't tell me you had no idea."

"Okay, maybe a little idea ... " She tilted her head and favoured him with a disbelieving stare. "Okay, I saw you leaving dad's quarters a few times and I was suspicious ... " he admitted with a smile.

Adama clapped his son on the shoulder. "But you didn't say anything."

"It wasn't my place. And starting rumours would have been dangerous."

They shared a knowing look. Both remembered all too well how Lee's reputation had taken a beating over his suspected relationship with Kara. He'd had to work hard to earn it back, even once he'd left the military and joined the civilian ranks. The shadow of Apollo was lengthy, even though Lee had tried to leave it behind.

"It's a good thing we finally found Earth or you might have had to keep it a secret forever," Lee joked, trying to lighten things up.

"There's another reason we're jumping into marriage so suddenly Lee," Adama said gravely, all traces of happiness leaving his face.

Lee's face mirrored his father's worried expression. As Adama explained the plan the government had for the survivors, Lee's face darkened to anger. "They can't do that to us!"

"They can and they are," Roslin said, sporting a saccharine smile. Lee knew well enough not to mistake it for acceptance. She was one of the best at appearing to stomach the unpalatable while underneath planning how to defeat it.

"You should be able to stay with us, as you're my son and they want me here for my military expertise."

"My son is here too and I'm not leaving him. Not now that I've just found out about him." Lee's jaw set stubbornly. Both Adama and Roslin recognized that look - it always spelled trouble.

"Have you talked to him yet?" Adama asked eagerly.

Lee shook his head. "I'll see him tomorrow for the first time."

His father smiled, all anger at the previous conversation forgotten in the joy of thinking of his grandchild. "I can't wait to meet him."

"Soon dad, very soon."

"Let's hope they don't try to make you move away," Roslin said. "I'd hate to see you separated from your child."

"They can't do that," Lee said firmly. "If they try, they'll discover a whole new meaning to the word 'trouble'."

TBC