I'd Do Anything

(Chapter Five: Waiting)

When their two hours were up Elliot drove Olivia back to her apartment and helped her up the stairs and into bed. She was exhausted and a little sore after the procedure. The procedure had taken place Friday morning and Elliot spent the weekend with her insisting she stay in bed. He waited on her hand and foot and only allowed her out of bed to use the bathroom and take a ten minute shower each day. He was determine that this time it was going to work.

Sunday morning rolled around and Olivia was wide awake at the crack of dawn, but knew better than to get out of bed. She stretched and yawned as she stared at the sunlight peering through the blinds on her bedroom window. She sat up for a moment and looked around the room to find Elliot asleep in the chair in the corner. Olivia smiled. It was so adorable how he had been there beside her and then came home and taken care of her all weekend. He was such a wonderful friend and an amazing father.

She laid back in her bed and placed her hands over her abdomen as if she could feel if there were now a baby residing inside. She took a deep breath and reached to the nightstand and picked up the paperback novel she had been reading, turning directly to the dog eared page to resume her chapter. Three chapters later, she was asleep again.

Ten fifty five Sunday morning Olivia opened her eyes once more shifting them immediately to the chair where Elliot had been asleep. It was now empty. She looked over to the night stand to find her book now closed and sat neatly back in it's rightful place. She stood up and walked across the bedroom to the master bathroom, still a little sore. She quickly brushed her teeth and ran her brush through her hair, then shut the light off and climbed back into the bed.

A few minutes later Elliot entered the room carrying a tray of food with a single white rose in a vase on the corner. He sat the tray beside the bed and sat down next to her. Olivia looked at him with her big brown eyes and smiled.

"How do you feel?"

"I'm okay. Still a little sore."

"Liv, you are supposed to say pregnant!" Elliot smiled at her.

"Well, I have never been pregnant so I wouldn't know how that feels."

Elliot leaned in and kissed her forehead. "Soon, sweetheart. Soon," he replied handing her a cup of decaf coffee.

"Do you really think it will work this time?"

"Yes, I do."

"I don't feel any different than I did the other two times."

Elliot made a not so pleased face.

"Of course if I am pregnant, I would only be…" she looked across the room to the alarm clock, "just over forty eight hours along. I guess I wouldn't feel anything, would I?"

"We have to be patient, Liv. I know that is hard to do, it is hard for me, too. But we will have a baby."

"I love that you are so confident about this."

Elliot slid up to the lean against the pillow next to her handing her a plate of food.

"I just have faith. You deserve this. You are going to be such a great mother. It will happen! Don't give up."

"It's funny, because every time I think there isn't a chance and that is exactly what I want to do….you waltz in here with your smile and confidence and make me believe that it will happen. You give me the little push I need to keep trying. El, if it wasn't for you I would have give up a long time ago."

"Hey, what are friends for?"

She smiled at him and stared into his eyes, the same cool blue that had helped her get through so many tough times. "But you have gone well above and beyond the call of duty, even for a best friend."

"I want you to be happy. And it just so happens I want this baby, too. So it isn't like I am not benefiting from this in any way."

Olivia smiled at him.

"Oh, your cell rang while you were asleep. I answered it. I guess no one really knows the meaning of personal time. Anyway, Munch wanted to know if we had sent in the RSVP cards for Cassidy's wedding yet."

"I still cannot believe Brian Cassidy is getting married."

"Yeah, last I talked to him he was still hung up on you." Elliot looked at her with a mischievous grin.

"It was one night Elliot."

"Well dear, you made quite an impression on little Brian Cassidy in that one night. He bugged me for months about talking to you and trying to hook you up."

"You never told me that."

"I knew you were not interested. Besides I didn't think he was right for you."

"Oh no? Why not?"

"For one, you had absolutely no interest after that one night. I figured you were a grown woman you knew what did and didn't work for you in a relationship."

"And two?"

"And two, no man is good enough for you."

Olivia smiled at him and laughed.

Elliot leaned back in the bed and stretched his hands behind his neck. "Just think Liv, you could have been Mrs. Brian Cassidy."

Olivia shot him a glare.

"Right Elliot, that was going to happen."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing. Just that if I do meet Mr. Right, I don't want him to be some guy from a bar that I took home one night after we both dot drunk."

"But you knew Cassidy from work."

"Yes, but I had no interest in him until we were both drunk and I found myself half naked with him in the backseat of a taxi cab on the way back to my apartment. We both got what we wanted from that relationship. Then he wanted more!"

"I swear Liv, sometimes you think like a guy."

"Why because I hadn't been laid in months and wanted sex? So I took home a guy from a bar? Besides, it was Cassidy. At least it wasn't some total stranger."

Elliot laughed. "He was after that night."

Olivia hit him in the stomach with her hand. "I will have you know that the future Mrs. Brian Cassidy is a very lucky woman," she said with a sly smile.

"Oh yeah? I thought you said it wasn't that good anyway?"

"I lied. It…he…we…were amazing. We had great sexual chemistry. And if he hadn't freaked me out with that little lost puppy dog routine, we could have shared a little more great sexual chemistry. It just so happens I wasn't looking for anything serious."

Elliot made his face that he often made when Olivia had shared just a little more information than he was comfortable getting from her. He didn't want to see her as this sexual being, she was Olivia. His best friend and partner and very much in many ways like a sister to him as well. The thought of her picking up a guy just for sex was not something he wanted to associate with the Olivia he knew.

"Oh come on! You can't tell me that you never slept with anyone that you had not intended on having a relationship with."

Elliot sat quiet for a minute.

"Was it that long ago that you have to think that hard?"

"No, that isn't it."

She paused for a second. "El? What is it?"

"Nothing, never mind." He stood up and gathered their breakfast dishes.

"Look I didn't mean anything by it. I was just trying to make a point."

"It's fine."

"Elliot, talk to me."

He sat back on the edge of the bed.

"No, you just reminded me of something when you said that. It has been so long, I guess I had put it behind me."

She pulled her knees to her chest.

"What?"

"It just makes me sound like a real asshole."

"Elliot, I tell you everything. I have done a lot of things that made me look bad. And you know all of them. I am not going to judge you."

He laughed slightly and she could tell by the look on his face he felt bad for what he was about to confess. "I dumped Kathy."

Olivia looked confused.

"We had dated for a few months. I wanted sex and she wasn't ready. So I dumped her. I dated this other girl for a few months. She and I had just split and I saw Kathy at a party. She came over and talked to me. She wanted to get back together and I let her believe that was what I wanted to. I had sex with her that night. Her first time. I got her pregnant with Maureen."

Olivia sat quietly not knowing exactly how to react.

"So yeah, I guess I have picked someone up just for sex. I guess my story just ended differently than yours."

"But you loved her."

"I wanted to do what was right by her. Eventually I loved her, yes. And I love every one of my kids and have from the second I found out about them."

Olivia rubbed her hand over his back. "That doesn't make you a bad person Elliot. You were young. You took responsibility. And because of that you have the other four children. I didn't mean to get so heavy with this."

"I know, it just got me thinking."

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

"So what are we going to do about this wedding?"

"Go, I guess. I mean he invited all of us. He and I agreed to stay friends. We have not really kept in touch, but we're not on bad terms either."

"When is it?"

"Two weeks. But it is on Martha's Vineyard and we would all have to reserve rooms and take the ferry back the next morning."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well, it might be nice to get a way for a couple of days. Like drive up on Friday and get a room on the island and do a little sight seeing. Could be relaxing."

"Well, I am kind of torn. I don't want to not go and be rude, but at the same time wont it be awkward if I do go?"

"Why? It isn't like you dated or anything. I doubt he even told her."

"I'm sure he didn't or I probably wouldn't have gotten an invitation."

"Yeah, good point."

"So?"

"I think we should both go. Munch is going and I am pretty sure Fin is tagging along."

"Okay, I will call Munch back and let him know to reserve two more rooms."

"But I am not riding in the same car as Munch. That is too long of a trip, I'd murder him."

She laughed. "We can take my car. But you're driving."

"Deal."

They both smiled and laughed.

The next several days were long and passed so slowly. They both wanted so badly for the two week wait to just be over so they could either receive their good news or accept the bad news.

Olivia sat at her desk chewing on the end of her pencil as she typed up a report on her computer. Her mind was no where near where it was supposed to be. She couldn't seem to focus on any one thing lately. Especially not work.

The doctor had suggested she continue taking the hormone shots until after they had found out for sure if she was pregnant and probably through the first couple of months of her pregnancy. So for the last several months she had been extremely emotional, moody, horny as hell and had been having crazy sex dreams just about every night. What a mess! And she couldn't exactly talk to Elliot about it. That isn't the kind of thing you just say to a man, not even if he is your best friend. Especially if he is your best friend.

What made it worse was that in most of the dreams it was Elliot she was having sex with! This was probably because he was the only man in her life that she had ever really allowed herself to feel comfortable with. And now they were trying to conceive a child together. Then of course there was the fact that they had been trying to get pregnant for over eight months now and she had been taking some kind of hormones almost the entire time. She hadn't had sex in nearly ten months and really good sex in well over a year!

Olivia closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead with her hand. She had better get used to this, she thought. If she did get pregnant she would be dealing with these hormones for at least another nine months. This would all be well worth it once she knew for sure that she had a baby inside her.

She looked across the desk to see Elliot working hard on his paperwork. His big strong forearms exposed by his rolled up sleeves. His broad muscular shoulders barely visible through his white button up dress shirt. His gorgeous smile and of course those sexy as hell blue eyes that made her melt inside. Olivia could feel her heart pounding so hard in her chest she was sure he could hear it. In this moment she wanted nothing more than to reach across the desk and pull him to her body by his neck tie. Then shove everything off the desk into the floor and allow him to taker her right here on the desk.

He would slowly unbutton her blouse and drop her black slacks to the floor. Grab her by the ass and raise her to the desk before removing her underclothes and trailing her entire body with his warm tongue. His kisses passionate. His thick strong arms holding tight to her as he sent waves of pleasure pulsing through her entire body time and time again. His blue eyes burning into her soul as she trembled at his mercy, moaning and screaming her way through yet another Earth shaking orgasm.

Olivia groaned as she heard Fin's voice behind her.

"Yeah?" She almost snapped bitter that he had brought her back from her little fantasy.

She looked up from her computer screen to see Fin and Elliot both staring at her with strange looks of confusion across their faces.

"You okay, Liv?" Elliot asked.

"Umm, yeah. Just tired I guess. I must have zoned out."

"You were groaning," Fin added. "I didn't now if something was wrong."

"Oh, I'm fine. Headache." She looked at them hoping they would buy it. Fin shrugged his shoulders and went on about his business.

Elliot however stared her down raising an eyebrow.

"What?" She snapped.

"Nothing. Just didn't sound like a headache to me."

Olivia rolled her eyes and looked at her watch. "I have to do my shot in ten minutes. I'm going to run to the ladies room then I will meet you in the locker room?"

"Okay."

She disappeared into the bathroom and stood staring at her reflection in the mirror. She had to find a way to get control over herself and her raging hormones. She splashed cool water on her face and dabbed it dry with a paper towel. This would have to do for now even though what she really needed was a cold shower and a trip to confession. Of course she wasn't a Catholic so that probably wouldn't save her either. She took a deep breath and looked down at her watch.

"It's that time again," she mumbled to herself as she walked out of the bathroom and headed down the hall to the locker room where Elliot was waiting for her.

"You ready for this?" He asked .

"Oh yeah, this is my favorite part of the day," she said with sarcastic enthusiasm.

She unzipped her slacks and stared blankly ahead as he drew up the liquid from the vile in his hand. Elliot moved his hand slowly over her hip brushing the soft material of her black boy short underwear down enough to expose the area.

Olivia whimpered a little and flinched as he stared at a small deep purple bruise. She looked down at it then back at him. "It's okay, go ahead."

"How long have you had this?"

"Not long, it's just from the injections."

"Maybe we should change sides and give this one a rest for a few days."

She nodded her head and moved her hand to the other hip. Elliot smoothed the injection site over with an alcohol pad to sterilize it.

"Okay?" He asked her.

"Yeah, just do it." She turned her eyes to focus on a locker behind him. She couldn't bring herself to watch.

"There."

"Thanks," she said rubbing her hip as she zipped her slacks again.

She walked over and sat on the bench in front of the lockers exhaling deeply.

"Liv, what's going on with you?" Elliot asked sitting beside her.

"I'm just getting impatient. I am trying so hard not to, but it has been over eight months."

Elliot looked into her tired eyes.

"I know. But we have put too much into this to give it up now."

"I didn't realize how much work this was going to be. And these shots," she groaned. "They have my hormones so screwed up it is unreal. I'm probably going to over dose on estrogen before I get pregnant! I am in a constant state of PMS. I have weird food cravings and strange sex dreams, not to mention the morning sickness. And I am probably not even pregnant yet!"

"Sex dreams?" Elliot watched her turn six shades of red as she realized she had let that little detail slip during her rant.

"I can't help it. I have no control over my body or my mind anymore! This is so humiliating!"

"Don't be embarrassed," he said.

Elliot chuckled a little and patted her shoulder.

"I'm sorry this is so rough on you."

"I know it will all be worth it the second I see that little pink plus sign on that pregnancy test."

"Yeah, then we have to wait nine more months to actually receive our little gift," Elliot said with a smile as he placed his hand over her flat stomach.

"You need something to take your mind off of this for a few days. A distraction for at least eleven more days."

She laughed. "Yeah, only I cannot focus on anything at all for more than a few minutes at a time.

"Maybe we should both just kind of pour ourselves into our work. We can help keep each other focused."

"You think that will work?"

"You know how it is when we land a big case. There is no time for anything else. Including worrying about details of your personal life."

"True."

"And we score bonus points with Cragen for working so hard. If we get wrapped up in a case, these next eleven days will sail by."

"Okay," she said with a smile. At least it was a plan. That was more than she had.