Bright, Shiny Futures – Chapter Twenty-Four

Bright, Shiny Futures – Chapter Twenty-Four

They showered in silence, each apparently lost in his or her own thoughts. It wasn't entirely comfortable though.

At first Lee was ecstatic. She'd come to him – she'd made the move and taken the confusion away – the decision wasn't his to make. She'd admitted she loved him and was willing to admit it publicly! Then the cold truth hit him. What if it had just been the adrenaline rush that had driven her to seek out physical release with him? What if she'd said 'I love you' in the heat of the moment when passion had overtaken her, but hadn't really meant it? She'd done it before, admitted she loved him then walked away when the euphoria had settled and reality intruded on their perfect moment. Worse? Now she had an even better reason to tell him it didn't really mean anything (even if it did, and he was pretty sure it did) and walk. Leaving Michael and her family was going to be a hell of a lot harder than walking away from her relationship with Sam had been.

He wanted to confront her. Talk it out. Get to the truth – for him the truth was paramount. He'd learned that about himself in the years she'd been gone. He could deal with anything provided he knew what he was up against. Who are you kidding Lee? Certainly not yourself. You know she's married to someone else and is happy. You know she doesn't believe in divorce. You know she loves her kids and doesn't want to hurt them. You know this can only end one way and yet whenever she's near you, you melt. You know that you'll always be 'the other guy' – the one who gets stolen moments here and there and has to hide everything. You didn't like it back when you were married and you're not going to like it any more now. You know you should end this and walk away from her. Pretend she's still dead and that you don't have a son. You know that's the right thing to do. The joy turned to utter despair in an instant.

He caught a quick glance at her as he toweled his hair. She looked pensive as well. His heart sank further. A few minutes (and turned backs) later they were dressed.

Lee folded his towel and looked around for a place to hang it. He turned to find Kara standing right behind him.

"I meant what I said," she said softly. "It wasn't just a spur-of-the-moment, in-the-throes-of-passion thing. I do love you."

"And you don't care who frakking knows?" He couldn't help the slight tinge of bitterness.

Sadness washed over her face. "I can't keep fighting this. I can't keep hiding how I feel and pretending anymore."

"Does that mean you don't love him?"

She shook her head. "Of course I love him. But not the same way I love you." Her voice broke. "Not the same." She swallowed hard. "I know it's going to hurt him, but I can't live without you Lee."

A small spring of hope took root in his heart. "Does that mean … you're willing to leave him to be with me?"

She gulped and nodded.

The spring blossomed fully and he gathered her into his arms. "I love you Kara Thrace and I always will." He kissed her hair and forehead. "This isn't going to be easy but I want you to know I'm here. I'll be with you every step of the way."

Kara buried her face in his neck and he held her, both of them silent for a long moment. "Let me do this, okay? No pushing for it to be public yet. I need to talk to Michael alone first," she whispered.

Lee nodded as the hatch clanged open. The military duo entered the head as they pulled apart quickly.

"We're ready to head back," Lee told them. The leader nodded and they turned their steps towards the heart of the ship.

XXXXX

"I want to fly one of those one day," Zach said to his father as the group headed towards CIC for a brief tour. His eyes were shining brighter than Michael had ever seen them before.

"We'll see son," he said noncommittally.

"I want to," Zach said stubbornly. "It looks like the most fun in the world."

"It is," Adama said softly, making eye contact with the boy.

"You were a pilot yourself?" Michael asked him.

Adama nodded. "It's a bit of a tradition in our family. My father was a lawyer but my uncle was a Viper pilot, my grandfather was a Viper pilot … both of my sons were Viper pilots. For a time anyway." Now my grandson wants to follow the family tradition and I couldn't be prouder. With both Lee and Kara's blood in him he could easily end up being the best pilot who ever lived.

"Well he's only seven years old. I guess we'll have to wait and see if it's still what he wants in ten years time." He ruffled Zach's hair. "If he's still of a mind then we'll certainly support him." They were the right words but there was something about the delivery that Adama didn't quite feel comfortable with.

We? Roslin thought sardonically. It was interesting he was assuming he and Kara would still be together then. She herself held no such assumptions. I give it six more months. If that, she thought. He's either completely oblivious to the force that pulls Lee and Kara together or he's assuming he can overcome it. Either way, he's lost before he begins. But a shrewd glance at his expression told her that even if he did feel he was losing her to Lee, he wasn't going to let her go that easily.

The conversation drifted elsewhere once they reached CIC. Roslin wandered somewhat aimlessly while Adama talked shop with the military men. She'd never particularly cared for that aspect of Bill's job. The little she'd needed to know to work together with him to have the civilian and military factions united was enough.

Michael followed a few steps behind Adama, evidently intrigued with learning everything he could about Kara's former life. Zach and Sara walked around alone, drinking it all in with wide-eyed amazement. She wandered close enough to hear their conversation.

"Don't fly one of those things," Sara said.

"Why not?"

"You'll get hurt." Her voice, for all it's young treble-ness, had a distinct undertone of seriousness. Laura felt a shiver go up her spine – the same kind she got when having visions.

"No I won't," Zach said. "I can do it." He took his sister's hand. "Nothing bad will happen if I fly one of those ships. I just know it."

She nodded, looking as unconvinced as he did confident. Definitely Lee and Kara's son, she thought, suppressing a smirk. Good, and he knows it.

She shifted her attention to the little girl for a few moments. There was something about her – a definite presence, despite her quietness, that made her seem much older than her years. It was the eyes – they seemed endless, as though they'd been around since before time began. Her speech too – not just her ability with words, but the wisdom that accompanied them. She'd taught teenagers who hadn't yet reached that stage and yet here was a little girl of not more than four behaving as though she was an adult already.

As a teacher, she found it amazing. As a prophet, it was incredibly disturbing.

XXXXX

In their room Sam paced interminably, stopping every now and then to hold his head in his hands.

"What's the matter?"

Tory had asked himn a good half dozen times and he hadn't yet answered. Hadn't known what to say. There was no explanation for what was going on in his head.

"I don't know!" he exploded, finally cracking. "I don't know what the frak is going on in my head! It's like I'm seeing visions, or remembering things … I can't describe it. Flashes, pictures, scenes … things I've never seen before but yet I know them."

She shook her head, at a loss.

"You don't see anything like that?" The pleading look in his eyes almost made her want to answer in the affirmative.

"No." She reached out and touched his arms. "Sammy … "

He recoiled and pulled away as if her touch had burned him. "No, don't touch me," he blurted out. The hurt look in her dark eyes made him instantly contrite. "I'm sorry, it's just … " He stopped and took a breath, willing the cacophony in his head to shut up for just a few minutes. "… so much going on in my mind. Too much stimulation. I need to be alone for a while, okay?"

"Okay," she said softly, taking a step towards the door.

"No, I'll go. Maybe getting some fresh air will help. Go for a walk. Back … later." He was vaguely aware that his words were coming out disjointed and wished he could fix it but he was lucky he could get anything coherent out at all through the mass of noise in his head.

XXXXX

She was walking through a tunnel. A long, dark tunnel. There was a small ray of light at the end and she clung to that, knowing that eventually she would escape the darkness if only she stayed true and followed the path. It grew lighter and lighter by degrees but it seemed like the darkness extended almost forever and she felt as though she'd have to walk the rest of her life to make it through.

"Persevere child."

She'd ceased to be afraid of the voice in her head. It was a calm, almost comforting presence in these visions. She still didn't even try to pretend she understood what they were trying to convey, but she now understood they were necessary and non-threatening. So she followed wherever they led and did whatever the voice in her head told her to do.

The light grew bright as she neared the tunnel's end. It wasn't, however, a bright sunny day as she'd expected but very overcast, with heavy rain falling. It had evidently been falling for quite some time as the water made a lovely tinkling sound as it fell in the large, almost inter-connected series of puddles at her feet.

"What am I supposed to do now?" she thought out lout, hoping that speaking her thoughts aloud would bring more clarity.

As always, the answer came in riddles. "What do you hear child?"

She strained for a moment. "Nothing but the rain."

"Exactly."

XXXXX

Michael knew. The moment he laid eyes on them he knew. He'd suspected right from the first moment Lee had walked into their lives. He'd been almost certain after hearing their chatter while flying, but he'd hoped somewhere deep inside that Kara would resist the pull and stay true to him.

They weren't touching, nor were they stealing overt glances at one another, but he could feel the energy between them had changed somehow. The tension was different, not longing but patient … if one could describe an atmosphere or feeling as such. As if they had a secret they were keeping – wanting to share but the time wasn't quite right.

Something inside him hardened. The anxiety and fear began to turn to anger and started a slow boil.

XXXXX

Clouds were rolling through the sky darkly as they drove back to the hotel.

"Thank goodness the nice weather held for your flight," Adama said, trying to initiate some conversation.

Neither Lee nor Kara answered. Both pairs of eyes looked up for a brief moment and met.

I wouldn't have let you fly into the storm alone this time.

I know.

"There's a humdinger of a storm predicted for this evening," the driver said suddenly, turning up the radio's volume.

" … very hash thunderstorm in the Georgetown area. High winds and a large rainfall are predicted. The possibility of tornadoes and flash flooding is very high, says our meteorological expert. Keeping this in mind, the transit office has shut down all routes out of the city till the storm has passed … "

"We can't go home?" Michael said, sounding anxious.

"Apparently not," Roslin answered.

"I'm sure we can find a room for your family for the night. The storm should be over by morning and you can head home safely then."

The driver was obviously endeavoring to reassure them but the tension level in the car increased almost visibly. The butterflies in Kara's stomach began to fly wildly out of control – having the conversation with Michael would have been bad enough at home but to do it at the hotel? Hoping it wasn't going to happen wasn't an option – she could read the look on her husband's face loud and clear. It was going to happen now. Tonight. And it wasn't going to be pretty.

"Thank you, we appreciate that very much," Adama said, hoping the few moments of silence hadn't been interpreted as rude.

He wasn't quite sure what was going on in the back of the van but the atmosphere was tense and strained. Despite their obvious closeness while flying, he didn't really believe there was something going on between Lee and Kara. Or perhaps he just didn't want to believe it.

Either way, he was pretty sure the thunderstorm wasn't going to be the only thing with sparks flying that night.

XXXXX

"You'll have to give us a bit of time to work out your room," one of the military men said to the group when they reached the hotel. "You're free to spend time here in the lobby or visit with your friends while you wait."

"Can we go see Lee's room?" Zach asked, bright eyes turned adoringly up at his other father. Sara nodded as well, her mouth turning up in an exact replica of her mother's smile.

"Sure. If your mom says it's okay," Lee said, looking over at Kara. She nodded.

"Kara." The word sounded stiff, almost painful. "I'd like to talk to you. Alone."

She blinked long and hard before opening her eyes and turning to face Michael. "Okay. How 'bout we go for a walk outside?"

"I'll keep an eye on these two while you're gone," Lee offered, surprising himself a little.

"We'll stick around for a bit too and spend a little more time getting to know our grandchildren," Adama added, linking arms with Roslin.

Michael nodded and took Kara's arm as he led her outside. She shrugged him off as soon as they were out of sight.

"You slept with him didn't you?"

The words hit has as if they'd been literally hurled. Remind you of someone else Kara? "I hardly think sleep had anything to do with it," she shot back, Starbuck tongue let loose for the first time in eight years.

"Fine, you had sex with him after you flew."

"Yes."

His face grew stormy as the sky above. "How could you do this to me?" he demanded, voice low and taut with anger.

"I'm not doing anything to you Michael, it's just … I can't keep pretending I don't feel what I do."

"You love him."

"Yes."

"More than you love me."

"Yes."

"Do you love me? Did you ever or did you just use me this whole time and pretend you loved me?"

"Of course I love you!" she shouted. "I've been happy with you and I wanted it to stay that way but Lee's here now and … and I don't know what it is about him, about us, but it's something that's just there and I can't explain it."

"Obviously," he said bitterly. " 'We just are what we are because we are,' " he mocked. "Yeah, that's helpful."

She exhaled forcefully. " I loved you. I loved being with you, doing things with you … I loved having a life with you. But we were always two separate people. It was the same with the others, Zak and Sam. But with Lee it's always been different. We're like two parts of the same person. He's the light, I'm the dark, sometimes vice versa depending on the situation. We're like the yin and yang … "

"Yin and yang?" he interrupted, a baffled look on his face.

"Two identical pieces, one black, one white, that fit together perfectly despite the fact that they're opposites. Once together you can barely tell they were ever apart."

"So you're saying this is like destiny, kismet, fate … something that's just meant to be."

"Exactly."

"Bullshit Kara. Bull. Shit. There is no destiny, no fate, no Gods intervening to push you in the direction you're supposed to go. You make your own destiny. Like you did here." He reached out and took her hands in his. "You changed because you wanted to. You didn't want to stay the same person you used to be. You wanted a better life so you stood up and made it happen."

"Maybe it was fate that it happened that way. Maybe I was supposed to come here and turn over a new leaf. Maybe the Gods were showing me the way and guiding me where I needed to go. Maybe I'm right where I'm supposed to be, right here, right now."

He dropped her hands. "And maybe this is all just a lame excuse for you to dump me so you can be with him."

"Frak you."

"Try it. Just try it Kara," he snarled, almost frightening her with the cruel look in his eyes. "I'll kill him sooner than let him take you and my children away."

"Oh no you won't," a familiar voice interrupted calmly. Kara turned to face the man who'd spoken, feeling the blood draining from her face and the world spin as the shock hit her.

Sam stood there, gun pointing at Michael.

TBC

A/N: Thanks to all of you who've read and reviewed the past 2 chapters of Bright, Shiny Futures. Your feedback is wonderful – thank you very much! Thanks also to all of you folks who've added this story to your alerts and favourites lists. Special thanks to jandjsalmon for posting this chapter for me.