"Howard Moon, don't go out tonight."

Vince was stood in front of the door, barring Howard's exit. He was wearing a blue satin dressing gown and slippers, and his beautiful face, which was usually a ghastly white, was now bright pink. He looked a bit ill, and Howard was wondering why he was behaving so oddly.

"What's up Vince?" he asked his friend.

Vince sighed. "Erm…" he said. "I don't know how to tell you this, but…"

Howard snarled angrily. "Oh I get it!" he yelled. "You don't want me to go, because YOU fancy her! Well tough shit mate, she's mine. She's pretty much the only girl who's ever loved me back, and I won't let some ponce like YOU steal her off me!"

Vince looked at him. "I don't fancy her."

"Yeah right"

"No, honestly Howard. I don't fancy her. Sure, she looks like a nice enough person, but I'm in love with someone else."

Howard looked at him, puzzled.

"Who do you love then, Vince? Sophie? Because Naboo proposed to her yesterday, and he'd be utterly pissed off at you if you admitted to having the hots for her."

Vince giggled. "No you silly boy."

"Who is it then? Go on, tell me."

No sooner had Howard said that, than Vince began to walk towards Howard, peeling the dressing gown from his body as he went. Howard gasped, mesmerised. He was naked.

"You figured out yet?" he said with a smile.

Howard smiled back. "Not really."

Vince pulled Howard towards him and wrapped his arms around his neck. "It's you."

Howard was shocked. He had known for some time that Vince was bisexual, yet he'd never imagined Vince having a crush on him.

"You what?" he asked, sheer amazement ringing in his voice.

Vince pulled him in even closer so that their noses were touching. "I love you Howard"

His beautiful pink lips met with Howard's and they kissed. Vince began to undo Howard's jacket. Howard pulled back.

"God no, Vince. What the HELL do you think you are doing?"

Vince looked up at him with pleading eyes, and as Howard looked down to meet his friend's gaze, he noticed Vince had a painfully large erection.

"You got a boner from KISSING me?"

Vince sighed. "Yeah."

"Alright, I suppose this is for the best. Continue, Vince."

Vince went back to undressing Howard, and soon both his jacket and shirt were on the floor.

Vince gently began to kiss and lick Howard's neck. He enjoyed the feeling of Howard's rough, manly skin on his tongue. Howard moaned and put a hand out to stroke his hair. Vince slowly made his way down to Howard's muscular chest, softly licking and biting every inch of his delicious body. Howard was well and truly enjoying being teased by his beautiful friend. He himself was getting a rather uncomfortable erection, and he let out a cry as Vince began to undo his trousers.

No sooner had Vince undone his friend's trousers, than they heard the door, and a few familiar voices behind it.

"Vince, has Howard left yet? We went past WHSmith and his date was standing there, looking sad," shouted Naboo from behind the door. There was no answer, so Naboo assumed he'd gone. Opening the door, he walked in to be met with the most disturbing sight. Sophie and Bollo ran in after him carrying baskets of pears and biscuits (which they had won in a bet they'd made with Bob Fossil). They were as equally as disturbed as Naboo.

Howard was standing there, underpants round his ankles, his shirt, jacket, trousers and shoes lying on the floor. Vince was on his knees, his right hand round Howard's cock and his left hand round his own cock. Vince let out a sharp cry.

"Uh, Naboo, this isn't what it looks like…" he said, panicking slightly

Naboo was too high to care. He'd been at a party for Bob Fossil's birthday, and he, Bollo and Bob had taken cocaine in the bathroom while everyone else went around blindfolded trying to whack a non-existant piñata. He smiled over at Vince.

"You two have fun then," he laughed. "I'm off to bed to watch TV. There's a great documentary on raccoons on the Discovery Channel. You coming Sophie/"

He gently tapped his fiancée on the shoulder. She turned round, an angry look on her face.

"What do you think, Naboo?" she growled. "No, I ain't coming! You don't even care about poor Harriet, standing out there in the cold, waiting for her date, who is being masturbated by his best friend! She's the main reason I met you! If it weren't for her and her nutty parties, where would I be? Sweeping floors in KFC!"

Naboo put his arm around Sophie. "Come on Soph, don't be like this! I'm-"

His sentence was cut short as Sophie turned round and slapped him across the face. He could see that Sophie was on the verge of tears.

"You're what, Naboo? Sorry? Because I'm not taking your apologies anymore! You don't really care! You're always high on dope or something like that! I can't believe I even agreed to marrying you, you heartless stoner freak!"

And with that, she burst into teart and fled. Naboo tried to run after her, but she was too fast. Dejectedly, he ran back into the flat, sobbing, and shut the door behind him.

"She's gone," he sobbed, "and possibly forever."