Disclaimer: I own nothing regarding GWTW
Author's Notes: Thank you for all the reviews and feedback.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
In the middle of March, Rhett gave Scarlett a birthday present when it was just the two of them. It was another gold shawl with a parrot embroidered on the back. Scarlett had kissed him and said, "I will keep it forever."
That made Rhett so incredibly happy. It made him happy when she was wearing the shawl at his next visitation meeting.
Scarlett had given Rhett the painting of Bonnie at the end of March. The picture was taken on her birthday. She had just turned four.
When Rhett saw the painting, he smiled. He said, "She was a beautiful little girl."
"Yes, she was. I certainly would not have imagined how our lives would change in the last three years."
"If she hadn't died, I would have drunk myself to death before she turned sixteen."
"No, you would have exploded from having kept all your mocking comments about the matrons inside you."
"That is true. Although mocking you and Belle was working as a pressure release valve."
"I will hang it up right now."
"Alright."
Rhett had stood up as if he was going to go get a hammer and a nail. He smiled and turned back towards Scarlett, he said, "I have no idea where Pork stores the hammer and the nails. I will ask him in the morning."
"Alright. Leave it here in the parlor and let's go upstairs."
"Your eagerness is certainly flattering."
"Just shut up Rhett before I decide to go home instead."
"Of course, my love. Your wish is my command."
Rhett really liked the painting of Bonnie. He guessed he was finally over the severe pain of having lost his child. When he looked at her portrait, it made him remember the happy times they had together. He could even remember how much she had loved to go horseback riding.
Rhett hung the painting in his bedroom. Scarlett made him move the painting to his office because she felt uncomfortable having relations with her daughter in the room.
Rhett had laughed and said, "She is not in the room, but I will move it to my office to make you more comfortable."
India and Steven had gone to the courthouse on May fourteenth. The people who had been in attendance were Scarlett, Arritta, Edwin and PittyPat. For reasons known only to PittyPat she had taken a real liking to Edwin and was always talking to him. Edwin displayed his good manners despite him having been raised in the North by always being polite and gracious to the older woman.
When Steven looked at Scarlett, he was glad he had asked her to marry him, but he was even more glad that she had turned him down. India was perfect for him. She took such good care of him even before they were married. Besides India would be grateful he had married her. He was grateful she had married him. For the most part he was socially awkward around women. If he hadn't spent so many evenings talking with India while calling on Scarlett, he would have been tongue tied and graceless. Instead talking to India at the Hamilton supper had been comfortable and easy.
Steven talking to India was as easy for him as him talking to his late wife, Bessie. Bessie and he had grown up together. Bessie had told him that he was going to start calling on her. Bessie had told him that they were going to get married. A lot of the reasons he was willing to move to Atlanta had been to get away from all the memories of Bessie. Everywhere he went in Concord had reminded him of her. He was so glad he and Arritta had moved.
Scarlett had taken the time to have the mother daughter talk with India because there was no one else to tell her. Scarlett never said a word about all the wonderful things that she and Rhett did. That would be up to Steven to introduce that topic. If he never did then India would be no more the wiser.
Scarlett and Rhett's sex life was wonderful. When she balked at doing something new, he would just cajole her into doing it. There had been times when after he had removed himself from her that he had to get himself over the hump. There had been the amazing night when she had whispered, "Can I help you?"
"Yes, please."
"Tell me what to do."
"Put your hand around me and move it up and down as fast as you can."
Scarlett had done that. Amazingly, when Rhett had been so close, she kissed him, and it was enough to send him over the edge. Ever since that night, if Rhett had not immediately ejaculated Scarlett had brought him to satisfaction. She was so pleased he was denying himself in order to not get her with child.
Three months after Rhett and Scarlett had started being intimate again, he had coaxed her into performing oral sex on him. She said, "How?"
"Just kiss your way down to my member and take it into your mouth."
As Scarlett was kissing Rhett's stomach, she felt the scar tissue. The raggedness of his skin. The absence of hair in that spot.
Scarlett sat up and said, "You have turned me into a whore."
Suddenly Scarlett was out of the bed and looking for her shimmy. It took Rhett a minute to realize what was going on. He dumbly said, "I did what?"
"You turned me into a whore."
"No, no. I have just introduced you to the pleasures of your marital bed."
"That's the point isn't it. It isn't our marital bed. I guess you got what you have always wanted me to be your mistress."
"No, no. I want you to be my wife. I would marry you tomorrow if you would just say yes. I have always wanted you to be my wife."
"Then why did you ask me to be your mistress on the porch during the war."
"Because I was a damn fool. You know that. You know I was a damn fool more times than I can count. I was a damn fool our entire marriage."
Scarlett didn't say anything. She just stared at Rhett. At last, she said, "I can't find my shimmy. I will have to go home without it."
"Don't go home. Sit down and talk with me."
As Scarlett picked-up her dress which was just a housedress, she said, "Talk about what? How you turned me into a whore."
"I didn't turn you into a whore. I gave you sexual pleasure. There is nothing wrong with you enjoying yourself in the bed."
"A lady wouldn't."
Rhett had to answer this very carefully. Sadly, he had told Scarlett far too many times that she wasn't a lady therefore, this would be a very sensitive subject. He could blow everything within the next few minutes.
Rhett said, "Despite what I have said in the past, you are a lady. It is what you are not what you do. In fact, you are a great lady. You did things that none of those sanctimonious, old biddies would ever do because you had a family to support. Everyone thinks Miss Melly was a great lady, but she wasn't. She was just behaving the way society approved of her behaving. If it had been left up to Miss Melly or Mr. Wilkes the whole lot of you would have starved because they didn't have the guts and determination to do what they had to do. Would Miss Melly have married a man she didn't like much less love for the sake of her family?" Rhett paused here to give Scarlett a chance to reply but when she didn't, he said, "No, she would not because that would not have been proper. You couldn't feed all those people on proper behavior."
"No, you can't"
"You sacrificed your reputation to keep all those people fed. You used to say all the time that Mr. Wilkes was too honorable and noble to be a good businessman. You were right. He was. He and Miss Melly were living in a fairy tale. You were living in the real world."
"Except where Ashley was concerned. I was living in a fantasy there."
Rhett ignored Scarlett's statement. He said, "You always will be a great lady. I said you weren't before we were married to pester you. I said you weren't after we were married to drag you down in the dirt with me but despite all my efforts and the matrons' opinions you remained a great lady."
"No, a great lady doesn't associate with Yankees and Scallawags."
"Maybe not Scallawags. They are just white trash, but Yankees are just like everyone else. No one would call your friend Mrs. Bruton or her husband white trash."
With a smile, Scarlett said, "No they wouldn't."
Scarlett had put her dress on, but Rhett was still naked. It no longer bothered Scarlett to see Rhett naked. He rarely put on clothes in his bedroom. He reached over and picked up her shimmy. He said, "Come back to bed, Baby. You don't have to do that if you don't want to. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do."
Scarlett took off her dress and put her shimmy on then put her dress back on. She said, "No, not now. I'm going home. I have a lot to think about."
"Let me get dressed and I will walk you home."
"No, I can walk myself."
"I would not want something to happen to you." As Rhett was getting dressed, he continued talking, "Did seeing my scar remind you of Belle's testimony?"
"Yes."
"You know she was an incredible, smart woman who chose to be a whore because those women make three times as much money as most women."
"I still don't think I could be a whore."
"No, I don't think that you could. Scarlett, you know I love you. You know I think you are amazing. You know I curse myself every day for treating you so badly."
"I know it was awfully hard for you while I believed myself in love with Ashley. Even if you had not loved me that would have been an unbearable situation for you with your pride."
"My pride is still alive and well, but it is not as large or as powerful as it was up until you were granted a divorce. Up until when Belle testified, I was still convinced that you would not be awarded a divorce. Let me put my shoes on, then we can go."
When Rhett had gotten Scarlett to her back door, he said, "You are not a whore. You will never be a whore. You are one of the finest ladies in the world. I love you. I want us to get married again. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"Thank you, Rhett. I will see you Wednesday."
Rhett wanted to ask Scarlett about her visiting him after the children were asleep, but she needed to think this out for herself. Hopefully, she would make a decision that would be positive for him. As Scarlett turned to go into the house, Rhett stopped her. He said, "I will give you as much space as you need to think this whole situation out. I'm not going to go anywhere, no matter how long it takes you to make a decision. But please, please, don't take away your friendship. I don't want to, but I could live without being intimate with you, but I would shrivel up and die if I didn't have your friendship. You are all I have left of possibly having a happy life."
In that moment, Rhett realized she would never say or show her love like an ordinary woman. She showed it in her actions. She loved him. She always had. She had married him because she loved him. He truly wished that he had realized this seven years ago, but he had been an idiot then, but he would not make that mistake again.
Scarlett kissed his cheek and said, "Good night, Rhett. I don't want to lose your friendship either."
Those words gave Rhett hope in the next couple of weeks. When Scarlett and the children came to Rhett's house for their bi-weekly visits, Scarlett was friendly enough but there was no body contact.
