~ Bright, Shiny Futures - Chapter Forty-Four ~

She woke suddenly, as if from a disturbing dream. As far as she could recollect, she hadn't been dreaming though.

The grey metallic walls and disheveled curtains surrounding her meant she was in Galactica's sickbay. She'd spent too much time here not to recognize it for what it was. For a moment she almost believed everything that had transpired since her "demise" had been the dream, and this was reality, mere moments after she'd flown into the vortex. But then a vision of Zach and Sara's faces came to her and the pain in her heart at being separated from them told her unequivocally that they were real.

The curtain moved and an unfamiliar woman came in. "You're awake. That's good." She smiled. "Everyone's been very worried about you."

Kara pushed herself up, feeling her world start to spin a bit. "Where are my children?" she demanded, not bothering with any pleasantries.

"Zach and Sara? Don't worry, they're safe."

"Where are they?" she growled, eyes narrowing. "I want to see them. Now."

The nurse took a step back as if afraid. "I'll page Mr Adama. He's taking care of them," she said, and scurried off without bothering to even begin her examination of Kara.

She sank back into the bed, wincing at its hard bumpiness. The IV in her arm was bothersome but she could remove it if she had to. It had never stopped her before. Mister Adama? she thought, the nurse's words suddenly sinking in. Mister? Not Major or Colonel by now? She struggled to remember why Lee might be called Mister Adama but nothing came to her. In fact, she couldn't really remember a whole lot - her mind felt as though someone had pulled the plug and things had drained out of it. She was sure there were things missing. A and B just weren't adding up to C and it felt like half the alphabet had gotten up and walked away.

"Lee Adama, call Lifestation. Pass the word to Lee Adama. Please call Lifestation immediately. Thank you."

Kara closed her eyes and tried to think. She remembered the swirling vortex of clouds that had drawn her in and inexplicably transported her to Earth. She remembered finding Michael, finding out she was pregnant, and having the baby. She remembered marrying Michael and having another child with him.

The phone rang, interrupting her trip down memory lane. She heard the nurse's muted voice asking Lee to come and bring the children with him and wondered why Cottle wasn't the one dealing with her. He always had - the nurses had been too afraid of her temper. She grinned. She'd give Lee ten minutes to get here. If he didn't come, she was checking herself out of this popsicle stand and going out to find him.

* * * * * * * * * *

"We'll be right there."

Lee hung up the phone and knelt down to face the children. "Your mom is awake and she wants to see you."

They jumped up and down excitedly, Zach actually knocking him over as they leapt all over him. He laughed as they ended up in a tangle of limbs on the deck. HIs back would be bruised where he'd landed on it but the previous day's exploits had taught him that children were just as hard on a person's health as being a Viper pilot was.

"Let's go," he said, brushing himself off and taking each one by the hand. "I"m sure she's waiting for us."

Truth be told, so was he. Kara's collapse after her flight hadn't been too surprising, given her fragile mental state. It had scared him greatly though, having her just fall into his arms like that, but the med staff had assured him passing out wasn't uncommon in those circumstances.

The longer it had gone before Lifestation had alerted him, the more worried he'd become. Lee knew that as soon as she woke she'd want to see her children and when six then twelve, then twenty-four hours had gone by with no word, he'd begun to imagine the worst.

His heart pounded in anticipation now and he felt the urge to skip; right along with Sara.

* * * * * * * * * *

Adama put down the phone. "Kara's awake." He broke the news to Laura with a guarded smile.

She studied him. "Bad news?"

"No, but I'm expecting it to be difficult for her." He sati heavily, tipping the cushions so Laura slid against him. "She's been through a tough time and going out there unprepared physically and mentally was likely too much of a strain on her."

"Do you think there will be permanent damage?" she asked softly.

"I hope not." He looked at her. "For the children's sake, if not for hers."

"Don't forget Lee. He'll be devastated if she isn't okay."

"I know."

Silence was heavy between them for a few moments.

"Are you going to go see her?" Laura asked.

"She asked to see Lee and the children. I don't want to get in the way."

She smiled. "You know she loves you like a father. Always has. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you."

"I'm sure she will. But I'll give them some time alone first."

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

* * * * * * * * * *

Cally stood up and dusted off her coveralls. Rewiring the airlock control system had been a long, grueling job but one she'd needed to do. Alone. No one would understand why she wanted to have remote access.

Fortunately everyone was busy, getting back into routine now they'd jumped and left Earth's radioactive wasteland behind. No one had even noticed her presence here, let alone questioned it.

She headed for her quarters to shower and change. Time had flown and she had a date with her son.

* * * * * * * * *

"Mamma!" Zach and Sara squealed with delight as Lee pushed the curtain aside and they caught sight of Kara.

She sat up and threw out her arms and they eagerly jumped up on the bed and snuggled up against her. Tears spilled down her cheeks and were matched - no, doubled - on the kids' faces. Lee felt his throat tighten watching them, and a warm, happy feeling began to grow and take root within him. Earth and its people had been decimated but Kara had survived. They'd all survived - their family was alive and ready to start the future together! He didn't think he'd ever been happier.

She looked up and their eyes met. A vague feeling of uneasiness punctured his happiness. There was a look in her eyes ... one he'd never seen before. It wasn't the defensive Starbuck look from long past, nor was it the happy look, the sense of contentment and peace that he'd noticed since finding her on Earth. She looked ... lost. No, that wasn't quite it. Confused? Maybe. She definitely didn't look the way he felt. Not too surprising, she's been through hell in the past couple of weeks. It's been a huge emotional roller coaster for her and she's yet to have time to process it all.

"Thanks," she said softly, interrupting his thoughts, "for taking care of them for me."

"Anytime." He ruffled Zach's hair. "Besides, I haven't had them long enough for them to become a pain yet." He winked at his son who smiled a mischevious smile.

Confusion filled her face. "Lee, I'm a little ... I don't ... can we talk?"

"Of course." He put an arm around each child. "How 'bout the two of you go spend a little time with Grandpa Bill and Grandma Laura."

"Grandpa Bill and Grandma Laura?" Kara echoed.

Lee shrugged. "My dad's off duty right now. He can watch them for a bit while we catch up."

Kara nodded, still at a bit of a loss but not bothering to ask the questions that were circling in her mind. "You go with Lee okay?" She hugged the children. "I'll see you in a little while. Be good."

"We will," Zach said, always the serious, responsible one.

"It's going to be okay mommy," Sara said brightly, smiling at her. "Everything is going to be okay now."

Lee's eyebrows drew together a fraction but he smiled at Kara as he took her children by the hand and led them away.

* * * * * * * * * *

He thrashed around wildly as he reached consciousness, not recognizing his blurred surroundings and feeling as though he was drowning.

"It's okay, you'll be fine," a calm voice assured him.

He blinked several times, forcing the gel out of them. "Who are you? he asked bluntly. "Who am I?"

"I am Zero," she answered, a serene smile on her face. "And you are Eleven."

"Eleven?"

"For the past thirty nine years you've been living as Samuel T Anders."

The name was like a key, unlocking the memories freshly downloaded into his mind. Samuel T. Anders, former Pyramid player from Caprica, husband to first Kara Thrace then Tory Foster, Raptor pilot and member of Galactica's crew.

One of the Final Five Cylons as well.

She nodded. "Yes, you're one of us."

The man formerly known as Sam stood, reaching for a towel and cleaning off his naked body before taking the robe she held out for him.

"I know," he said eventually. "I figured it out shortly before I died."

They began to walk. The corridors were craggy and damp, and the walls seemed to glow with some sort of luminescence that lit their way.

"Who are you?" he asked again.

"I am Zero," she replied, in the same calm voice.

"Yes you said that, but what does it mean?"

She stopped walking. "You have many questions. I will answer them but there are others who also desire the answers you seek. We will join them in the communal area and you will learn the truth about many things."

* * * * * * * * * *

Lee returned a short while later to find Kara's eyes closed. He pulled the chair close by her bedside and sat quietly, not wanting to wake her.

"I'm awake," she said softly, a short while later.

"Really? So why are your eyes closed."

"It helps me think."

"You need to think?" he teased gently. She opened her eyes and his smile faded quickly. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I don't know," she said, frustration twisting her features. "I feel like something is wrong, maybe something is missing but I don't know what."

"Well it's not your mind that's missing since you still remember who you are and who we are."

She sat up straight. "But that's just it, I don't remember. I remember who I am, I remember who you are, the kids ... I remember who your father is and President Roslin, but there's a whole lot missing. I don't know who the nurse here is. I don't remember how I got here" Her voice rose in agitation. "The last thing I remember is being on Earth. How did I get back to Galactica? Where's Michael? Are we on Earth now or back where we were when I flew into the vortex of clouds that brought me here? I don't remember any of it Lee!"

"Shh, maybe you're still just overstressed and your mind is blocking out the trauma of the last few weeks," Lee offered.

"Trauma? What happened?" Her shrill voice brought the nurse running.

"Is everything all right?" she asked worriedly, checking Kara's vital signs.

"May I speak with you for a moment?" Lee asked, drawing her aside. She nodded. "I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?" he said, turning back to Kara.

She nodded and sat back, looking distinctly irritated.

"What's wrong with her?" Lee hissed, once they were in Cottle's old office. "She's missing pieces of her memory."

"Like what?"

"Like everything that's happened in the last couple of weeks. Since we arrived at Earth." Lee dragged his fingers through his hair in frustration.

The nurse nodded. "It's not too surprising. The Admiral gave me a full report on everything that's happened to her since we arrived. I would think it's been too much for her to handle. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It happens to the best of us in difficult conditions," she said with a sympathetic smile.

"But she never had it before and life was pretty damn stressful when we were being chased by the Cylons," Lee argued. "Why now?"

"Maybe this is a type of stress she's not equipped to deal with. People react differently under emotional stress than physical stress."

Lee saw sense in that. Kara had always had difficulty with emotions. Physical danger, pain ... she'd been okay with. Whenever anything had come too close to her centre - guarded with a fierceness that would have shamed a prison guard - she'd withdrawn, either physically or emotionally. She'd never allowed anything to get too close to her. It was good that she'd learned not to run from those difficult feelings or repress them and do herself harm the way she'd always done in the past, but it seemed this was just too big of an emotional hit for her to roll with without collateral damage occurring.

The nurse laid a gentle hand on Lee's arm. "You'll need to be patient with her. The fact that she's only repressing the latest events of her life probably means she'll be okay and eventually remember some if not all of what happened."

"How can I help?" he asked.

"Be patient. Don't push. Just be there for her and let her know she's not alone." Her cheeks flushed prettily. "I've heard things ... about how you two used to be close ... "

Lee met her frank, open gaze. "Yes we were. We've always cared deeply about one another, even if we haven't always been able to show it the right way." His cheeks pinked just a little at the memories.

"Then be there for her now and show her you care," she said earnestly. "It may be a tough road but she's going to need someone by her side to get her through it."

Lee nodded. "I'd better get back before she misses me."

* * * * * * * * * *

Helo smiled as he watched his daughters running and playing in the corridors, ducking around the people they passed with unerring accuracy. They laughed as the game of' chase me' took them here and there around the ship.

Galactica was home. He felt it as deeply as they did, though in a different way. Galactica was an adopted home for him, one he'd come to love out of necessity when everything else he'd known had been taken away. Ten years of living here, plus the several he'd served aboard her with only soldier's shore-leave had conditioned him well. It might not be pretty, but it was home. Hera and Kiera had never known anything else. They'd been born here and aside from a few months on a Basestar when she'd been trapped, Hera had lived all her memorable life here. The girls probably knew the ship better than some of the newer recruits did.

His mind drifted to Kara and he frowned, wondering how her recovery was going. Her collapse had alarmed them all but Nurse Eve had bade them all stay away to allow her to recover in peace. They were close by Lifestation now; perhaps it wouldn't hurt to drop in and see if there was an update on her condition.

"Girls," he called ahead. "I'm stopping at Lifestation for a few minutes. I'll meet you back at the mess hall in fifteen."

"Okay daddy," they shouted back.

"Try not to get into trouble, okay?"

Hera pretended to look shocked then winked at him. "Who, us?"

He chuckled as he rounded the corner. HIs daughter was learning the art of sarcasm. That couldn't be good news.

"Hello Major," Eve said as he walked into her office. "What can I do for you?"

"Hi." He smiled. "I was just wondering if there was any news on Kara." When she didn't answer immediately, he gestured at the door behind him. "I was just passing and ... "

"She's awake and doing as well as can be expected."

"Which is?"

"Doctor/Patient confidentially Major. You know I can't reveal that."

"Come on, Kara and I have been friends since our Academy days. I care about her and just want to know if there's anything I can do to help."

She pursed her lips. "She seems to have suffered some short-term memory loss. Otherwise, she's fine. Mr Adama is in there with her now."

"I see." He cleared his throat. "Can I come back and see her later?"

"I don't see why not. Just don't bring lots of people with you. I'd rather she see one person at a time. We don't want to overwhelm her."

"Right." He nodded. "Of course not." He left immediately as Eve appeared to be otherwise occupied with her paperwork, and smiled a little to himself as he headed back to meet his daughters and Sharon for dinner. Kara Thrace was as tough as they came. She'd pull through and be just fine. He rounded the corner and ran into a familiar face, albeit one he hadn't seen in some time.

Kathryn.

Truthfully, he would have been quite happy not seeing her ever again. Lee had never asked his opinion of her and out of respect for the man, Helo had never given it. Kathryn made his hackles rise and all his defenses go up. He knew she wasn't a good match for him but then Dee hadn't really been either. Helo had never wanted to offend his friend by saying so, but he in his opinion Lee had terrible taste in women. It had only gotten worse after Kara's supposed death when Lee had been emotionally bereft. Helo had been as happy as anyone at finding Kara alive and well, both because he'd missed her and because with her around Lee wasn't rudderless. Many believed Lee was better off without Kara but he disagreed. Yes, they'd fought and struggled with their love/hate relationship, but she was what had always given him purpose and will, and spurred a passion in him that no one else ever had.

"Hello Major."

He inclined his head slightly in greeting. "Kathryn."

"Have you seen Lee? I've looked everywhere for him."

Oh no you don't, he thought. "I haven't seen him," he lied. Well, almost lied. It was true - he hadn't seen Lee.

She sighed dramatically. "I wonder where he could be?"

Helo shrugged. "I wouldn't worry about it too much. He's going to be busy with his son and Kara ... you might want to give him a little space to work things out there." And maybe find your way to an airlock? he thought uncharitably. Then rescinded it. She wasn't a bad person. Just a person trying to be in the wrong place getting in between the wrong people. He lifted an eyebrow at her stubborn face. Oh well, she was welcome to try. She'd find out for herself what a bad idea it was to try to come between Apollo and Starbuck.

She smiled a sweet false smile at him. "Thanks for the advice."

"Just trying to help."

"Of course."

As Helo continued past her, he could barely suppress the urge to grind his teeth. What an annoying woman! If only she'd accidentally trigger an airlock with herself in it ... He chuckled. I'm sounding more and more like Kara all the time, he thought. Well maybe that's not a bad thing - I'll have the wit to be able to deal with Hera's sarcasm then. He scooped his daughters into his arms once he reached the mess hall and gave them great big bear hugs as they stood in line for their food.

~ TBC ~