Chapter 22: Warmth

By the time they got back from the market, Tifa couldn't feel her nose, ears, or lips and the tips of her fingers, even in gloves and jacket pockets felt about as numb as her toes. She fumbled with the keys when she tried to fit them in the lock and Cloud's hand reached out and took them from her to unlock the door. She felt a bit justified that he had put on the gloves about halfway through their shopping. In return she leaned down and picked up some of the bags he'd had to set down to unlock the door. Together they both stumbled into the bar and Tifa leaned against the door while Cloud consciously locked it again. She gave him a smile, or at least she hoped that was what her lips were doing.

"You look cold," she told him smugly and he snorted, reaching out to touch the tip of her unfeeling nose.

"Blue lips."

She gave him a frown – or what she hoped was a frown given that she couldn't feel the 'blue lips' he referred to and pushed away from the door.

"You're supposed to tell me I'm 'glowing'. Any time a woman doesn't look her best she's 'glowing'."

"Glowing?" he repeated as he followed her into the kitchen. Aerith raised a hand and waved vaguely at them, using some of Marlene's colored pencils (a gift from Aerith last year) as she sketched away madly at something on her paper. Tifa gave her a greeting she knew her friend, in her artist trance, didn't hear and then started to unload the bags and put things away. Cloud set all of his down on the counter and stopped to watch over Aerith's shoulder for a moment as she worked. The picture of the two of them made Tifa wish she had her camera handy. She went back to work with a smile. Soon Cloud joined her but since he didn't know where anything went he just settled for unloading the bags while Tifa put everything away. Between the two of them they had things put away in record time and Tifa filled a pot with milk and set it on the stove to heat. The feeling was starting to come back to her fingers if not her toes and it felt like a thousand little pins. Her heating bill was going to kill her when it came due this month but she found it a worthy sacrifice to be able to come in to a warm building.

"Anyone else here?" she asked and Aerith gestured vaguely with a pencil.

"Cid and Shera" Tifa hazarded.

Another pencil motion, more slashing this time and Tifa recognized the 'trying to be patient but being pushed' motion for what it was.

"Go wait in the bedroom" she whispered to Cloud who looked curious.

"She's about five seconds away from exploding if we bother her again," Tifa hissed at him and Aerith stated a calm:

"Three."

"Go!" Tifa hissed it with accompanying hand motions and Cloud, looking more amused than threatened the way he would if he knew what was good for him, let himself out of the room. He was wise enough to make sure the door shut silently behind him at least. Moving quietly, Tifa filled four mugs with chocolate powder and the heated milk, leaving Aerith's where it wouldn't threaten the paper if it spilled but where her friend could reach it. Then she carried the others out the door and up the stairs. One she left with Cid after checking on him and Shera. The other two she kept as she checked on her father and then let herself into her bedroom. Cloud was sitting on the mattress on the floor with his back against the bed, arm across a raised knee. The jacket, boots and gloves were all gone. Tifa settled down next to him, unrepentantly scooting in close for his body heat and handed him one of the mugs. His face changed when he saw what it was, lighting up like a little boy's.

While he appreciatively inhaled it, Tifa set hers down to shrug out of her jacket and kick off her boots. The gloves stayed on though because her hands always got cold first. Then she pulled down a blanket to toss over both of their legs and picked up her hot cocoa.

"Share" she told Cloud and he gave her a puzzled look. She nudged against his arm. "Body heat. Share it."

She was freezing and it wasn't the time to feel awkward. Or flirtatious. This was about survival!

Cloud laughed in a burst and then lifted his arm so that she could scoot under it and tuck in against his side. Tifa slipped her legs over the top of his nearest and tucked her toes under his other leg, careful not to spill a drop of her drink as she huddled over it as if it was the last ember to a dying fire. The steam from it made her lips tingle pleasantly.

"I'd hate to see you living in the mountains" Cloud commented and Tifa muttered her:

"I'd hate it too."

Which made him laugh again and he cut it off by taking a sip of his hot chocolate.

There wasn't much talking after that. Just the slow warmth seeping back into both of them, inside and out, and the occasional appreciative sigh. Tifa wiggled her toes under the warmth of his leg and was pleased to find she could feel them all. Relaxing she rested her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. It was really too familiar a move but – well, she'd slept with him already – even if he didn't remember it and her siblings had been in bed with them and everyone had been fully clothed. And she'd fallen asleep against him in the convention center too – even though that had been when she'd thought she was never going to see him past her vacation there…

Still, there was no denying the fact that Cloud was deliciously warm and the feel of his chest rising and falling in slow rhythm against her was comforting. He was comforting, she decided. Knowing that was just the cold talking but letting it go anyway.

"You're better than a hot water bottle," she told him and he exhaled a quiet laugh and tucked her a little bit closer against his side.

"Glad I can be useful."

"Mm" she turned her face toward him a little and nodded, eyes still closed. Starting to feel wonderfully drowsy. Vaguely she was aware of him taking the now empty cup out of her hands. His cheek lowered to rest against the top of her head.

"Fight you for the real bed" she murmured and his chuckle was a whisper.

"In a minute."

The minute disappeared into much longer as Tifa fell asleep.

It was quite a bit later when she woke up again and for a very long time she just drifted. Not quite awake, no longer asleep. She was warm and she was comfortable and she was relaxed. It felt nice. Slow, reluctant, she did wake up, becoming aware of where she was and what was going on.

Cloud was still propped upright against the side of the bed and she'd turned in her sleep so her head was resting against his chest and she had an arm tossed across his chest as well, gloved fingers tangled loosely in the fabric of his shirt. From the slow rise and fall of his breathing, he was still asleep so she indulged for a minute longer instead of moving away. He smelled a little like wood and stored clothes but mostly like himself, wind and clean and – and the faintest hint of lightening now that she knew what it was. The blanket had apparently been pulled up to her shoulders and awkwardly tucked in because when she finally opened her eyes, it was all she saw. Under it, his arm was around her side and waist, keeping her securely against him while they slept. His silent, slow exhales brushed against the hair at the side of her face. For a minute longer, Tifa ignored the fact that the situation was much too intimate for someone she'd only just met. Again.

What was it about Cloud that stripped away her natural reservations and left her feeling - it was because he made her feel safe, she realized. Safe. And when she felt safe, who she really was came out. And that included the snuggler in her.

So – how long did she have? How long until Cloud left – everyone left? – and her life went back to normal? She didn't think – she didn't think she wanted to go back to the way things had been. But she didn't really think she had much of a choice. Her fingers tightened a little on Cloud's shirt and a moment later, unconsciously, his fingers tightened on her waist.

She was being silly to want more. She had two kids to take care of and a father. A business to run. Sensible things she should be concentrating on. But in her heart – her heart kept crying 'is that all?'. Was that all there would ever be for her until she woke up one day with white hair and an empty bar and realized…

It terrified her in a deep down, quiet way she ignored most of the time. Sitting here in Cloud's arms with a house full of dissidents – Aerith had been right. Tifa felt as if she was – more. As if her life was – more. And she didn't really want that to end.

Cloud's fingers on her tightened in a gentle squeeze.

"Worrying?" his voice was a low rumble so quiet she almost didn't hear it. But she did and her head jerked up so she could look at him with wide eyes.

One of his eyelids lifted slightly to reveal azure blue but other than that he didn't move.

"How long have you been awake?" she hissed at him, whispering even though it didn't make sense. The edges of his lips shifted and he barely shook his head, more a vague motion that only touched his chin and made his hair move slightly.

"Not long."

"You should have said something" it was easier to protest than to realize how embarrassing it was to realize he'd been awake – and known she was awake – and realized she wasn't leaving his embrace like she should have.

"You didn't," he pointed out softly and then, when he felt her jerk, getting ready to pull back, his arm tightened around her to keep her close. "Besides" he added: "Its warm."

It made her pause, wondering if he was teasing her, and when she raised her head again to look at him, there was a soft, quiet smile barely there on his lips. Despite herself, she smiled back.

"True" she agreed in a soft voice. Both of his eyes, now open, found hers and Tifa forgot to breath for a moment, so filled with tropic blue that it was impossible to find room for anything else. Without thinking about it – she did that too much around Cloud the lone brain cell still in use warned her – she reached up and touched his cheek.

"You have the most beautiful eyes," she whispered. Those eyes changed as she said it, somehow went an even more intense blue, as if the entire ocean and sky were being pulled down into concentrated form. And they were closer than they'd been. Tifa felt her breath go shallow and fluttery in that blue.

"Cloud?" it came out in a whisper and her fingers tightened on him where they rested. She thought she might be drowning in that blue and what little was left of her common sense was screaming what a bad idea that was. But she didn't want to stop. Maybe not ever, a stifled part of her whispered. She was in sooo much trouble, a part of her added as the blue came so close that it filled all of her vision and even when her eyelids started to flutter closed – it was still all she could see.

"Hey! I thought this was an emergency!"

The voice had Tifa jumping and jerking toward the sound. To see a furious looking –

"Yuffie?!?"