Chapter 34: Light and Shadow
They did, eventually, make it to Aerith's church. Tifa, growing up with crafty siblings, understood the importance of covering what you were really doing with proof of what you had said you were doing instead. They'd used some of the last of Cloud's materia to heal themselves, though nothing could really be done for the rips in their clothes and the smudges of dirt. The sweat didn't help in the cold either and Tifa was glad when they reached the church. For some reason, no matter what the weather was like outside the church, it was always several degrees warmer inside the dilapidated building. To Tifa, the miracle even greater than the flowers that somehow grew in the middle of the barren city though was the sun that somehow always managed to find its way in through the holes in the broken roof. She went to that as if drawn, with a smile and without thought. Stopping directly in the center of one of the golden beams, she closed her eyes and tipped her head up to catch all that warm gold. Sunshine…
How she missed sunshine more than anything else from 'above'…
Like children moving to their favorite toys, Aerith went to her knees next to her precious flowers. All her life under the shadows of the Plates, her best friend didn't trust the open sky the way Tifa did. For possibly the only time, Tifa was the one with her eyes on the distance and the ethereal while Aerith was bound to the immediate and the earth under her. Tifa inhaled deep, smile spreading and stretched her arms down and out on either side of her, fingers spreading as well. When she dreamed – her best dreams were always white gold sunshine and warmth.
Ancient boards creaked and Tifa opened her eyes and turned her head to see Cloud standing nearby. The colors from the stained glass windows that had somehow managed to survive cast him in jewel hues and obscured him at the same time. Fragmenting him into divided splashes of color. She held out her battered and stained gloved hands for him and he stepped forward to take them, careful not to crush Aerith's precious lilies. It drew him out of the fractured light and into the sun as well and Tifa smiled up at him. Sharing.
"Tip your head up," she told him and with a curious look at her, he did as she told him. "Now close your eyes." She gave him a minute like that, her hands in his while he tipped his face to the sky. "That's what I miss most. That warm pressure and the white behind your eyelids and the way it makes your hair go warm and makes everything smell so rich and full." She shut her eyes too and tipped her head to the light again. She didn't share when things were important in her life. People – yes. Things… no. Things were private, things could disappear and leave you wounded, things could – things could seem like security and not be. So when something delighted Tifa she didn't say so. She wore Aerith's earrings and so her friend knew. She put up her siblings' pictures on the walls of her bedroom and so they knew. She wouldn't say it though. Wouldn't share and put that responsibility on anyone else. She couldn't not share the sunlight though. Couldn't pretend it didn't matter to her.
"Sometimes I come here and just fall asleep in a patch of sunshine. Aerith doesn't even scold me for taking up room instead of her flowers."
Aerith's laughing voiceless opinion piped up from the edge of the flowerbed and made Tifa's smile spread again.
"There must be a crack in the Plate above or something. This is the only place I've ever found sunlight in the slums. Part of Aerith's magic."
Cloud didn't answer but his fingers closed a little bit more over hers and it made her smile too with her eyes closed. He was a watcher. She'd trusted him to pay attention and understand. And he had. Standing with him was perfect and she let herself enjoy it for a long drawn out moment. Then she finally opened her eyes, lazy with the warmth and saw…
sunlight…
two points of impossible blue sky…
Cloud.
She gave him a smile, a little embarrassed and wondering how long he'd been watching her instead of the sunshine.
"Silly?" she asked and he shook his head, that barely there movement that set his sunshine blond hair swaying. The edges of his lips moved softly upward.
"Just right."
Somehow the soft rumble in his quiet voice made her cheeks flush again and she looked down and then over to find Aerith. Her friend was busy with her flowers –
and grinning like a loon.
Tifa gave her a dry look she was sure the brunette was aware of and then gave Cloud's hands a gentle tug. Not having to say anything – he followed her over to join Aerith. They both sat down on the edge of the wooden boards.
"I'm supposed to bring flowers home," Tifa told her friend and Aerith nodded.
"Marlene mentioned that. She said I had to go so I could help you pick them out."
"Which was your idea," Tifa blamed Cloud for her siblings' revolt and his lips briefly shifted into a crooked, and, Tifa thought, self-pleased smile.
"I might have asked for their help getting the two of you away from everyone else," he admitted without guilt.
"So you enlisted the kids?"
"No one better," Cloud stated factually. Tifa tried not to smile because she knew she was supposed to be scolding him for involving her brother and sister in his schemes.
"It's true," Aerith was no help. "You Lockharts are a devious lot." She just gave a cheerful shrug when Tifa gave her a look and Tifa ended up having to shake her head as she laughed.
"They own your soul now, you do know that," Tifa warned Cloud and his face softened but Tifa caught the whisper of a horrible despair mixed at the edges of the warmer affection.
"They wouldn't be the first. Probably the kindest though."
Unable to stop herself, she reached out and slipped her hand through his. His eyes, rich blue, met hers and he gave her hand a light squeeze, opening his fingers so she could thread her own through them. Even through the double gloves, Tifa could feel the warmth of him and it made her relax. Like sunlight. Knowing better, Tifa still found herself leaning against his side.
Aerith left off her flowers and lay down on the other side so she could rest her head in Tifa's lap. Content, Tifa hummed a sound and shut her own eyes, free hand moving absently to stroke through her friend's wavy hair. For a very long time the three of them stayed that way and the warm sunshine feeling filled up Tifa's chest and soul to overflowing too. Finally Aerith's drowsy voice spoke up.
"Do you think anyone would notice if we never went home?"
It was a jokingly wistful question and Tifa smiled, eyes still closed.
"The kids would send out a search party. After they'd dominated everyone else and run out of evil."
"They're cute evil," Aerith's voice was warm and lazy. "It's okay."
Against her, Tifa felt Cloud's chest vibrate with a silent chuckle.
"Strife."
Somehow the sharpness of the voice in contrast to the lazy contentment was more of a shock than the fact it was foreign and unexpected. Tifa jerked upright and her hand closed on Aerith's shoulder. Her hair obscured her vision for a moment as she whipped her head around toward the sound and saw –
There was a woman in the doorway. She was small and slender and her red hair fell in enviable ringlets to her shoulders. Tifa thought, even from where she was, that the woman looked delicate and pretty. That wasn't what had her tensing and shifting to move into a protective position though. It was the black suit the woman wore. Perfectly tailored, simple, understated, and so obviously expensive because of it.
Rude wore a suit exactly like that, right down to the black tie. Reno wore one too albeit much more casually.
Turk.
Cloud had risen to his own half crouch even faster than Tifa, hand going to his sword hilt, his other hand on Tifa's shoulder. She felt him hesitate now though and even though the tension didn't leave him, she felt him come down a notch. He was still wary though and so it made Tifa wary.
"Cissnei," Cloud's voice was low and held a soft note Tifa hadn't heard in it before. The red head tucked her chin, just a little, and walked forward. Her steps were self-assured but there was something about her that was unsure. Hesitating. She stopped before she reached the end of the old pews and Tifa noticed she had black fingerless gloves on her hands.
"Your time's up, Strife." It should have come out sounding much more aggressive but instead it sounded soft and a little bit sad. Cloud stood up, a slow unwinding of his long legs and his hand stayed on the hilt of the sword over his shoulder. But he didn't draw it. Tifa and Aerith watched what was happening in front of them in silence. Tifa could sense the tension in the other woman and for just a moment, the other girl's eyes shifted and found Tifa's before focusing back on Cloud. Her young face tightened.
"The Company is looking for you." Her eyes flicked to Tifa again. "They know you're helping the terrorists. And they know you're in Sector Seven."
Reno had figured out who her 'dish washer' was, Tifa thought with an exhale, wondering how long she had to get to her brother and sister before Shinra closed in. The muscles in her legs tightened but she didn't bolt. Not yet. Cloud had met Cissnei's eyes and she apparently couldn't look away anymore than Tifa was ever able to. Tifa watched the other woman's eyes go hopeless and felt a bolt move through her own chest.
Tifa apparently wasn't the only one that had fallen in love with Cloud against her better judgment.
"How long do I have?" Cloud's soft voice had a rough edge to it but it wasn't anger.
The red headed woman shook her head.
"I'm supposed to bring you in if I see you. I'm a Turk remember?"
Cloud took a step toward her and his hand dropped from the hilt of the sword.
"Cissnei," his voice was gentle. "You were my friend once too." His chin lifted, just the littlest amount and his voice firmed. "How long do I have?"
She shook her head again.
"Not long. I'm going to call you in in five minutes." Her eyes softened and she took a step toward him before she stopped herself. Tifa noticed the other woman's delicate hands were fisted at her sides.
"Don't go back." Her voice was both reluctant and determined. "Get out of Midgar. Shinra is going to put an end to the threat in Sector Seven."
There must have been something in the way she said it because Cloud was suddenly directly in front of the other woman, one hand around her upper arm and his eyes wide.
"What? What are they going to do?"
She met his eyes and her lips thinned.
"Cissnei!"
"It's too late. They're taking down the Pillar now and they'll blame it on the terrorists." Her face was tight and determined.
Something inside Tifa started screaming even before her brain processed what had just been said. The Pillar. Sector Seven. Marlene. Denzel. Dad.
She was on her feet and pounding past before her brain even registered it. The church's warmth left her as she bolted out its wide doors and the air poured like ice down her nose and throat to settle around her heart as she ran. Marlene. Denzel.
Someone caught up to her. Passed her. She caught a glimpse of restless sunlight through the tears the cold was pulling into her eyes. They'd never run fast enough – they'd never –
Cloud reached the first intersection ahead of her and his sword was out. An unused lamppost severed as if it were one of Aerith's flowers and fell into the road. The cars that had been moving across that road crashed to a stop to avoid it and Tifa caught up to Cloud just as he skipped the nearest two vehicles and ripped open the door of a dilapidated looking truck. The driver's eyes barely had time to widen before Cloud reached in and caught him by the front of his clothing, jerking him out of the cab without an explanation or sound. The shocked driver didn't even have time to decide whether to curse or scream as Cloud tossed him aside and took his place. By then Tifa was slamming to a stop against the side of the truck as well and jerking the passenger door open. Cloud swung the gear into reverse and Tifa turned blindly at the sound of her name being called.
"Wait!" she shouted it and Cloud actually paused in response. Reaching out, Tifa caught Aerith's hands and hauled her manually into the cab with them. The second the brunette was halfway inside, Cloud mashed the pedal to the floor and the truck spun out. The door swung wildly and Tifa crashed up against Cloud's side as her friend's weight over balanced her. He held steady though, reaching out with his other hand to help haul Aerith further into the cab of the truck. Tifa reached over and managed to pull the doors shut.
Marlene.
Denzel.
