back again, gentle readers! My thanks for the reviews and the advice on whether to break or not. Dis - sorry if the story jerked around a bit, I tried to make chapter 35 as smooth a transition as possible though of course 36 is supposed to jar at its opening. Glad you're enjoying the ride - and yeah, I'd be a terrible, terrible person if I killed everyone wouldn't I? Yep. Evil. Evil and cruel and - I'll stop now, I'm getting the urge to laugh manically in glee. ;) zi-ling - hit it on the NOSE! Awesome call on the role reversal. I'm having a blast with it. Skykhanhunter - I'm having a Bill Cosby/Fat Albert flash back - 'just like school on Sunday' 'no class'. I'm delighted you're enjoying the story and thanks for the rounded advice (and loyalty!). Jianre - you're grand! Nope, the hug you're looking for comes in chapter 82 or 83 (yes, best beloveds, I told you I write ahead). I'll try to fill in the meantime chapters with enough snuggling to keep things satisfactory though. And, as always, Peeka-chan (yes - Cloud LIES!! lol and yeah, he finally really laughed. How's that for crazy?)

Chapter 39: Healing

The water had stopped being hot a while ago and now it was just luke warm but Tifa couldn't seem to stand back up. Instead she stayed where she was, knees drawn up to her chest, water from the shower pouring down over her. Her head told her she needed to get up, get out. At least turn off the water she was wasting. But her heart was remembering the last time she'd felt battered and bruised and her best friend had washed her hair while she was in the tub while her sister perched on the counter nearby and her little brother stood guard outside the door.

She should cry. She just didn't seem to have any tears left inside her. Only a dull, forever ache…

They were at Elmyra's house. Aerith's mother. And if there had been any hope inside Tifa at all that somehow Aerith had gotten out of Sector Seven – seeing Elmyra's face when she'd opened the door to them had destroyed it. The older woman had wept in Tifa's arms and then apologized for it and turned motherly, hustling Tifa off to the bathroom while telling the 'boys' where the kitchen was. Tifa had been too numb by then to do anything but let the other woman take over. That was how she'd ended up in the tub, sitting under water that was starting to go cold, thinking how she needed to get up and shut it off.

There was a soft knock at the door and Tifa ignored it. After a moment the door opened.

"Dear?" Elmyra's soft voice and Tifa tried to turn her head to acknowledge it, but she couldn't seem to find the energy. The older woman came over with a sad smile and shut off the water that was starting to make Tifa shiver.

"Oh, you poor thing," Elmyra's tone drew the tightness into Tifa's throat and she stayed passive as the other woman draped a towel around her and then pulled her hair free. Elmyra was making soft, soothing sounds and Tifa thought that Aerith had been lucky to have a mother like this. The older woman turned her head and called to the door.

"You can come in now, dear."

Cloud ducked into the room, blue eyes averted from the tub and Elmyra chuckled softly next to Tifa as she tucked in the towel a bit more.

"Come over and pick her up. We'll put her in my bed. It's all right, she's decent."

Tifa's dull eyes changed when Cloud leaned down over her and she let out a squeak despite herself when she felt his arms slid around her, his fingers slipping over her wet skin. It was easily enough to pull her out of her awake coma and heat washed through her almost painfully as she went bright red. Very, very aware of the fact she was – yet again – in a towel in front of Cloud and this time she was actually physically touching him. Or being touched by him, which seemed even worse. Elmyra made a soft, chuckling noise and tucked the towel in a bit better now that Cloud was standing and Tifa remembered that Aerith had never been as embarrassed by stuff like this the way Tifa always was. Cloud's eyes were firmly fixed forward and when Tifa dared a quick glance she saw his own cheeks were flushed with color as well. It made her both feel better and feel a bit like squirming in embarrassment. She managed to stay still however and he carried her out of the bathroom.

His bare hands on her wet skin were – distracting - and Tifa shut her eyes – hard – against it.

"Wow."

The comment made it through the shut eyes and she recognized their newest member's voice. She ignored it and so did Cloud apparently, walking past and into the bedroom beyond while Elmyra followed behind making softly pleased sounds.

Tifa changed her mind. She was just fine not having a mother like Aerith's.

Cloud slid a knee onto the bed and settled her down onto it. Tifa kept her head down so that her wet hair could hide her face and she immediately used the towel to cover as much of herself as possible. Snuggling when you thought you were going to die was entirely different from being half naked and knowing you were going to have to find a way to carry on conversation with the guy later on. Cloud's hands left her quickly and she told herself feeling empty and disappointed because of it was silly.

"Don't go," Elmyra's cheerful voice cut in. "She needs her hair combed. It's got glass in it."

Both Tifa and Cloud gave the woman the same shocked, trapped look and Aerith's mother smiled beatifically.

"She can't do it herself because she can't see what she's doing. And I can't do it because I've got to go downstairs and make dinner for everyone." It was stated factually but Tifa's eyes narrowed slightly in suspicion because she thought she detected glee somewhere in there. Cloud took the comb Elmyra was holding out to him as if it might bite him. The older woman gave him an encouraging smile and shot Tifa a wink – which had the younger woman jerking in surprise. Then Aerith's mother was out the door and shutting it behind her. From its other side, Tifa heard her saying:

"Come along, dear. I could use a man with nice broad shoulders to help me add an extra leaf to the table."

Whatever Zack said had her giggling like a schoolgirl and then it got quiet.

For once it was actually too quiet between them.

Tifa snuck a look at Cloud from under her hair to see him watching the comb carefully. It was such a – helpless look that Tifa couldn't stop her chuckle and she held out a hand, careful to keep the other firmly holding the towel in place.

"You can give me that," she told him gently. "I can remember how to comb my own hair."

His eyes, still a bit blank, flickered to her face and then to her hand before they focused and moved back to her eyes. Something in that blue softened and he shook his head at her, sitting back down on the bed and shifting to move behind her.

"It's okay," he told her, voice low. He lifted a long lock of Tifa's dark hair and started to gently work the comb through it. Despite herself, Tifa could only keep up her own tension for so long before the gentle tug and smooth of the comb started to relax her and with a long exhale she let her chin tuck down a little and shut her eyes. Cloud's touch was gentle and it made something inside her chest melt wonderfully so that it seeped down into her bones and muscles as well.

"I used up all the hot water," she murmured in apology and heard him grunt softly behind her as he methodically worked his way through another long section of her wet hair.

"We went next door," his soft voice soothed her even if it was a little rough at the edges. It made her smile softly behind her closed eyelids.

"Good," she whispered. She knew she should ask about Zack. She just – she didn't want to deal with it right now. She didn't want to feel Cloud stiffen up and go hurt and hard again. Not right now.

"How does your arm feel?"

It pulled a weak smile out of her and she almost shook her head before she decided she didn't want to do anything to make him stop what he was doing.

"Better." Kind of numb and tingly at the same time and she could kind of use her fingers after all that hot water. The pad of his calloused thumb slid over her bare shoulder and made her stomach and heart flip weightlessly. He was only brushing a loose strand of hair off of her where it clung against her damp skin but she couldn't tell if she wanted him to do it again forever or never again for the sake of her swollen heart.

"Cloud…?"

He made a soft humming noise low in his throat and it moved through her all the way down to her toes. As if she were a tuning fork, responding to his sound.

"Not now," his voice was even lower than usual. "Serious tomorrow. Just rest tonight."

Dutiful she nodded her head and relaxed again. He'd already combed through her hair once but apparently he wanted to make sure he'd gotten all the glass because he was starting through it again. She wondered if he spent as much time on his own wild, shaggy hair and the thought made her smile. For a very long time all she was aware of was Cloud and the wonderful feeling of his hands in her hair. Finally he slid a hand over her now smooth and half dry hair and it seemed to slip of its own accord down to curve around her hip.

"Come on," his voice was soft. "Let's get you to bed."

Drowsy, reaching up with her good arm, she wrapped it around his shoulders as he shifted her around, moving her so that they could both slip her under the covers of the bed. It smelled – not familiar. The pillows were soft though and the blanket he pulled up over her bare shoulders was warm. She heard sounds and realized he was sweeping the glass bits off the top of the bedspread and dropping them into the trash bin near the nightstand. They were comforting sounds in the strangeness and it was because they were Cloud sounds. She wanted to reach for him – the way she'd been able to in the prison cell – but knew she couldn't. That had been – different. Regular rules hadn't applied when they were trapped.

And then she felt his presence near her again and he was leaning over the bed and his lips were gentle, light as they brushed over her temple in the darkness. So – tender and sweet and caring and against her will, her fingers found the fabric of his shirt – something she wasn't familiar with and that was only just starting to smell like him.

"Stay," she whispered it before her head had a chance to catch up and stop her. "Just until I fall asleep. Please?"

There was a long minute of hesitation next to her and she kept her eyes closed and refused to either apologize or ask again. Then the bed shifted under his weight and he settled down onto it as well, sitting up against the headboard on top of the blankets and comforter. It made her smile and she shifted over to rest her head on his thigh and curl close, fingers stretching out to curl near her chin against his leg as well. After a minute, she felt the muscles under her cheek relax and his hand settled on her hair, fingers moving softly and barely there. Tifa feel asleep content that way and slept without dreams or emotions intruding into the safety of that golden darkness.

When she finally woke up again she felt human. And hungry. Cloud was gone and the bed was cold except where Tifa was laying but she didn't panic or feel abandoned. Instead she stayed snuffled down in the blankets a bit longer before finally sitting up and pushing her hair out of her face. There were clothes laid out on the foot of the bed and Tifa was glad to see they looked like Elmyra's. She wasn't sure she could bear wearing anything of Aerith's just yet and she thought Elmyra probably felt the same way about seeing someone else in her daughter's clothes. The wound was still too raw. Standing up Tifa got dressed and then moved over to the bathroom to finish. In the mirror, her face was pale and her eyes were huge. She hardly recognized herself and so she turned away from the mirror and finished combing out her hair before going downstairs. She wasn't used to wearing a dress but she'd never seen either Aerith or Elmyra in anything else. It still had her smoothing her hand self-consciously over the fabric of the one she was wearing.

She hadn't worn dresses since she'd been a child and her mother had died.

Elmyra was in the kitchen and she gave Tifa a bright smile when she hesitantly stepped into the homey feeling room. Tifa wasn't sure she had a right to feel 'homey' anymore.

"Sit down, dear," the older woman instructed and Tifa did as she said, finding a place at the table.

"Those boys of yours have gone out together. Something about getting Zack's 'back pay'."

"Not 'pay back'?" Tifa asked with a bit of worry. Still not sure how Cloud and Zack were reacting to each other and Elmyra chuckled and shook her head, setting food that smelled like paradise down in front of Tifa.

"No, it was definitely 'back pay'. They're both very polite young boys. Is the blond yours?"

"I – Cloud? – we're not – it's – no!" Tifa finally managed to blurt and Elmyra sat down across from her with a knowing smile.

"Well, you should really change that. He's quite a catch. His friend isn't bad either. I always used to tease Aerith about – " the other woman's voice choked suddenly and Tifa reached across the small table to catch her hand, her own eyes soft and full of their shared pain.

"I know," she stated softly. "She used to tell me about your teasing. It always made her feel cared for and important."

The other woman reached up with her free hand and dabbed at her eyes with a napkin, her own fingers closing in a painfully tight grip around Tifa's. Tifa didn't even flinch.

"I – she was such a good girl. So sweet and full of life. I always – I never wanted her to think that because I wasn't her real mother that I didn't love her just as much as if I was."

"She knew," Tifa put the surety into her voice. "She used to tell D – " it was her turn to have her throat close up and she paused. Determined not to cry. "She used to tell my little brother that being picked to be loved was even better than being born into it. Because you knew they wanted to love you especially."

Elmyra gave a watery smile that bordered on tears.

"It sounds just like her." Her hand tightened on Tifa's and her face went harsh. "I knew the things they said about you on the TV were a lie. They said you blew up the Pillar over Sector Seven. I knew you hadn't. I knew you'd never do that with so many people above and below it. No one down here believes it either. Too many people saw the Turks that night. Everyone knows it was them." The venom in Elmyra's voice should have bothered her but instead – it fed something in Tifa's own heart.

"That dark haired boy of yours told me what really happened. I'm – " Elmyra's voice broke but she kept talking. "I'm very proud of you. You and your Cloud and – and my daughter too. Your young man told me she was trying to save your brother and sister. I miss her – " Elmyra was crying silent tears now but she was determined. "I miss my baby. But I'm so proud of her."

Despite her own promises, it had the tears silently streaming down Tifa's cheeks as well and she nodded. Unable to find a voice to say anything even if she had had anything to add.

When Cloud and Zack came back in, stamping their feet to get the dirt off their boots, Tifa and Elmyra were dry eyed again and washing the dishes together. Zack gave Tifa a cheerful smile that set his eyes sparkling with mischief but Cloud strode directly over to her with determination in his tread. Tifa had time to twist her head to look up at him and he was pulling her away from the sink. It off balanced her, tangling her up against him and she caught at his shirt with wet, soapy hands. His eyes were very green under the blue and – intent.

"Cloud?"

He held out his other hand and she jerked an inhale with a surprised hiccupping sound. Materia glowed against his dark glove. A LOT of materia.

"We figured Shinra owed me a bit of back pay," Zack's cheerful voice. "So we went and picked it up."

She shot him a wide-eyed look that had him grinning, cocky and pleased. Then she looked back at Cloud and his eyes caught and held hers.

"For your arm," his voice was rough at the edges and she realized that she'd almost forgotten the way she'd taken to unconsciously cradling it against her chest.

"Yes…?" she offered weakly and he nodded and held out the hand that wasn't holding her close to Zack. The ex-SOLDIER walked over and took most of the materia. At Cloud's glance, he shrugged without apology and stated:

"You need some too, buddy," Zack said, apparently having left more in Cloud's hand than had been expected. Cloud grunted a sound but turned his attention back to Tifa and, since her hurt arm was resting against his chest, he raised his own hand to lay it against hers. Then, concentrating on what he was doing, he slid his palm down her bare arm.

Even through the numbness, even through the leather of his glove, even with the orbs between them, the contact still made Tifa shiver as it flushed heat down through her. Cloud activated the materia and she felt the familiar heat wash up through her system. It filled her with life and energy – for just a second, it chased the sadness out of her heart. But it also made her go a little weak in the knees.

Because it was doing a paired healing, and it's heat felt a little like Cloud.