Diminished Recall

by Castlefan6

A/N: By Request, PRE-Series Hookup, Rick and Lanie. Focus on Rick's discussion with Alexis about the night he danced, fell in love, and lost contact with a girl in college, sometimes memories come back at the worse time. COMPLETELY AU except for the conversation that prompted this and the use of some character's names

I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only

This is a request from a reader, I hope it's close to what you wanted.

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Chapter 2

Home of Elana Allison Parrish Brooks

AKA Lanie Parrish

Rick's Senior Year of College

Later Same Evening

Rick allowed Lanie to walk ahead of him, turning on lights, and turning off the security system, and she knew what he was thinking. No college student could afford this type of housing without either help from loved ones, or having a rich sugar daddy to provide for her.

"Before your mind goes into overdrive Rick, I don't have a sugar daddy or financial support from anyone other than my parents. They are very well off and figure prominently in my story, or at least my mother does" she said, almost reading his mind.

"Then why the secrecy Lanie, why not just tell me who you were, especially after we, eh well after we were intimate. Didn't you think I had a right to know who I had just slept with, multiple times? "Rick asked,

"I never considered that part, Rick, I'm sorry and you're right. You did, and do have a right to know who the lady in your bed was. I know if it had been the other way around, I would be looking for you to practice some of my anatomy skills with my scalpel without anesthesia," she tried to joke, but it fell flat.

"So, you're going to be a doctor, that's nice to know. I mean I know nothing about you, I shared some of my background, but I guess I was just too hot for your body to be against mine to push for details" he said his eyes not meeting hers.

"Rick, why don't we do this, you've played the guessing game long enough. Let me fill you in, as I should last fall, then if you have any questions that I haven't answered you can ask them then, is that OK?" she asked sheepishly, picking up his hand and placing it between her two hands.

"That will work, Lanie, I'll try to keep quiet, I have a tendency to butt in, so please forgive in advance." He said, adding his other hand to her two, now holding both hands in each other.

"OK, here goes, I'll try to fill you in on ALL the details as well as my reasons for trying to stay under the radar. My full name is Elana Allison Parrish Brooks, although I can count on one hand how many times I have been addressed as Elana. It started as a child, my Grandmother's name was Elana, I guess I was named after her, but anyway, she lived with my Mom and me. To avoid confusion, they always called me Lanie, I guess I got so used to it, it just stuck.

"My last name was changed to Brooks when I was four years old, my mother married a doctor, and our lives changed from having nothing to having a father who couldn't give us enough. My mother didn't tell me until I was 14 that my dad wasn't Doctor Lawrence Brooks, rather he was inmate number 4598745 at the New York State Penitentiary, known on the streets as Mad Dog, or Tyrone Hill, yes, the serial rapist and murderer that was captured not long ago. I can see you've heard about him.

"My mother never married him, although she carried me for 9 months, putting up with his physical and mental abuse. After I was born, she put her maiden name as my last name on the birth record, and I was sent to my Grandmothers where I stayed until my mother joined us about a year or so later. She survived a near-fatal beating and had enough to finally testify against her common-law husband.

"He had already been arrested and was about to stand trial for several physical assaults, rapes, and other crimes against women, so my mother's testimony helped seal the verdict. He was found guilty of 14 counts of rape, 12 physical assaults, and a host of other crimes such as felony evasion to avoid prosecution and a ton more I never even read. Since he was a third-time offender, the three-strike rule had just gone into effect, so he was sentenced to life without the chance of parole.

'My mother returned to college, with the blessing and financial support of my stepfather, and eventually became his surgical nurse and partner both in life and his medical practice. She was encouraged to run for the open state senate seat, and our problems all resurfaced. The rag magazine reporters got the information that my mother had once been in a common-law relationship with Hill, to which her opponent used against her in the campaign.

I transferred to NYU after that, using my full legal name, to fly below the radar of the scandal, but Mother addressed the rumors and turned her opponent's smear campaign into a positive. She claimed that only a weak man, a man similar to that of Tyrone Hill would use a woman's past private life against her in a political campaign.

"The fact that he was only displayed the amount of fear he had because he knew he couldn't win on talent or accomplishments. Long story made short, she won by double digits, and would never reveal the identity of the Love Child she had given birth to with the monster Hill. I always admired my stepdad, hell he's Dad to me, so I chose medicine when I decided on a career.

"What you see here, all of this, is courtesy of my Dad. He wanted to make sure his little girl never had to wait tables or sleep in hallways while trying to get an education as he did. Am I spoiled, absolutely?

'When I first saw you, I didn't know who you were, my girlfriends did a check on you while we were together, and when I found out you were already a best-selling writer, I was afraid it would reveal family secrets. I got their text after you had fallen asleep holding one of the girls" She smiled,

"I always give my name as Allison to men, until I got to know and trust them, Rick, I hope you understand.

He smiled, "I do understand that part, but I have to ask Lanie, was any of it real, I mean for you?" His face showed an expression of hope, and doubt at the same time.

"Rick, this wasn't a re-enactment of the When Harry Met Sally restaurant scene, no woman is that good of an actress. It was very real, more every time we reached that point, I meant it when I wrote it was the best lovemaking I have ever had. That's what hurt so bad to have to sneak off in the middle of the night. I wanted more, and I still do." She said, locked onto his blue eyes, hoping he could see the longing her body had for his.

His eyes lit up, just as they had that night when she had asked if his invitation for coffee would include a trip back to his place. "Harry Met Sally, huh," he burst out in laughter as Lanie executed her Meg Ryan impression of the orgasm in the restaurant. When she finished, she was in his lap and their tongues were back fighting for position. Her hand gently pulled his head in, as if she couldn't get enough of him.

She pulled his shirt over his head and immediately recaptured his lips, his hands unfastened her bra, she had already pulled her top over her head and was eagerly awaiting his tongue massage of her nipples, God this man could kiss, and certainly knew how to please a woman. She wasn't disappointed the moment Rick spotted the large dark areolas, he knew what she loved and proceeded to begin to make her groan with delight.

Their lovemaking would start at a frantic pace, then slow to a more deliberate one, thanks to Rick. If Lanie were driving the bus, it would be a land speed record, it seemed the more he gave the more aroused she became,

He slid his arm under her bent knees and lifted her as if she were a feather gently depositing her on her bed, her eyes, opened as her hands moved back to his face, gently touching the lips before she pulled him into another oxygen stealing session until they both needed air.

"Rick" she called out, "don't use the condom, I'm safe, and on the pill, I want you, all of you." He gently tossed the unopened package to the nightstand as he slid his head south to capture her love box and all of its passion. If she thought his caressing her nipples between his lips and teeth were a turn-on, she was about to lose her mind as he pleasured her like few men like to do.

It wasn't frantic, it was slow deliberate tongue thrust, followed by gentle kisses, then a massage with his fingers. She was so wet, she was about to explode, all the while trying to reach the part of him, she remembered and had desired for so long, finally, she pulled his head up,

"Unless you want to kill me, Rick, take me now, I swear, I'll have a heart attack if you keep doing that," she said before she buried her tongue into his mouth, just as he slid his organ into her soaking crevice. Neither of them had made love since they had been together, and it didn't take long for the first explosion to occur, simultaneously.

He allowed all of the love juices to flow then rolled her gently on top of him, as they played the eye sex game that she loved so much. Each nipped on the other's lip, and gentle kisses filled the void left when the tongues returned to their respective mouths, she lay on top of him completely spent. His strong hands gently massaged her back and buttocks, until it wasn't long before she slid her hand down and inserted a still-hard little Richard to initiate round two.

Few words were spoken for the next few hours, as each took turns pleasuring the other to lead to a joint meeting of the bodies. She wondered, how the hell does he keep this up, God, she was the one that needed a break. He seemed to sense exactly what she was thinking or needed, and slipped away for a moment to the bathroom, returning with steaming washcloths to soothe the gently aching areas that had been aroused after so many years of non-use.

He picked her from the bed, carried her wedding style into a hot tub of water, which he joined her in, and gently and carefully washed and massaged every inch of her body. God, she had heard about lovers doing this kind of thing but had never known or had someone so attentive to her needs.

When the water temperature began to cool, he lifted her from the tub into a warm blanket, sat her on his lap in the day chair, and just held her, gently massaging her back. She fell asleep so he placed her in the guest bed, then he did the laundry from her bed, finishing it just as she awoke.

"Rick? What did you do Sweetie? You did my laundry, and let me sleep? Hell, after I slipped out of your bedroom, you do this? She began to cry,

He immediately took her in his arms and once again, laid her gently in her bed, all clean and laundry fresh smelling as he laid down beside her. "Lanie, please, no tears. I can't take it if you cry." He said,

"You have no idea of just how special of a man, a lover, a person you are, do you? Most guys would lie through their teeth just to get into a girl's pants, then it's slam bam, I got mine you worry about yours mam, and out the door, they go.

"Do you know how much a woman, well this woman loves and appreciates the attention you give, not only during the act but before and especially after? I just want to lay her and hold you," She said, looking up at him through watery eyes,

He patted his chest, and she laid her head down, and her arms around his neck. I've missed you, Rick, I should have never left that night" she said,

Shhh, Shhh, things happen for a reason, what this one was I have no idea, other than giving me time to work myself into shape for you," he smiled, his blue eyes twinkled and she couldn't help it, she kissed him again. This time, not for sex, but more for You got my heart type of kiss. He knew the difference.

"So where do you want to go from here Lanie, I'll go along with anything you need, just as long as I can see you, at least some time." He said,

"You know Rick, somehow, all of that crap doesn't matter anymore. I don't have the last name, even if I did, if the idiots wanted to look let them look. Do you want t"

"Yes, if it's exclusive. I haven't been or dated a woman since I met you that night" he said,

"Well, just for your information, I was going to say exclusive, I'm a one-man girl, and I think you are as well, I don't think I need to put this out there, but my only condition is cheating. I won't tolerate it, and I promise you, I will never cheat on you," she smiled, and kissed him,

"Deal, but if you EVER find someone you think you want to be with, just tell me, that's all I ask," Rick said, showing his emotions that let Lanie know someone had hurt him very badly in the past.

The day turned into night, and except to answer the door for the food delivery person, they never left her bedroom for the rest of that evening nor the next day. They bathed together, ate together, slept together, and finally when she was laying with her head on his chest, she got the nerve to ask him,

"Rick, I'm sorry but I need to know this, mainly because I don't want to repeat what was done, but who hurt you so badly sweetheart? There are moments I see you, and you are so open it's like you want to say something, but I don't give you the chance. Do you feel like talking about it, or her?" She asked, playing with his fingers, which she had been holding for the longest time.

"You see, I could never lie to you Lanie, it's a wonder that I win anything at poker, my face gives everything away. Well, are you sure you want to hear this sweetie, I mean, I don't usually like talking about her, but somehow, I feel safe when I'm with you." He said, brushing a lock of her hair from her forehead so he could look into her eyes.

She raised to a sitting position where she could face him, still holding one hand and capturing the other as she sat. "Richard Castle, I am here for you, that means I want to know about the good, the bad, and even the ugly if you feel you want to tell me. I won't pry, I know some secrets should stay that, a secret, but Sweetheart, please don't think you're in this alone, I'm here for you." She said, kissing his lips gently,

"OK, but just motion if you want me to stop, OK?" She nodded and he began to speak. "Well, I know you just transferred in but from my freshmen year until May 24th last year I was in a relationship with another student here. Her name, not that it matters, BUT I'm sure you're going to hear about it either through your friends trying to protect you, or the gossip just passing along the latest rumor of the day.

"Her name was Kyra Blaine, she was majoring in fashion and interior design and her mother hated me, with a passion. She tried everything to break us up, nothing worked until she pulled out the ace she had been sitting on. She had pre-paid her tuition and was passing it off as a scholarship to one of the best schools in Paris France.

"Last year, she broke her, and Kyra invited me to Times Square, it was the third anniversary of us dating, I don't think she even remembered, but I thought something was up. When I got there, she had a small recorder playing our favorite song, and she told me she needed space. She was leaving that night for Paris, and we were over. We danced our last dance, I turned and walked away, and as I quickly stole a glance back, I saw her and her mother getting into a cab, headed for the airport.

"I thought my life had ended, at least until I walked into Steve's girlfriends' birthday party, and saw you. I can't tell you to this day what attracted me to you, and don't say your boobs, remember I only saw you from the back" he laughed, as she wiped a tear from her eye,

"When you turned around, I knew I had to get to know you, and I know I acted like a bumbling teenager trying to talk to you, but I was willing to make a fool of myself, just to get to talk to you. When you asked if the coffee invite included a visit to my place, I almost had a heart attack. Guys like me don't get girls as beautiful and sweet as you,"

"Well, you know the rest of the story, and after tonight so do I. I only wish we hadn't wasted those months apart, I mean, time is precious and we'll never get one second of it back if we waste it, and I don't want to waste another second." He said,

"Rick, I'm going to state the obvious here, you're Caucasian, and I'm of mixed heritage, doesn't that"

His lips found hers and answered her question with a kiss.

"Does that answer your question in my family love is color blind, love is love. Does that answer your question?" she replied with the same technique, a kiss that lasted until each had to breathe.

"Ok, then," he said,

"Yeah, OK" she replied both looking at each other, not knowing or caring what was to come next.

"Rick, thank you for trusting me with that, it makes me feel even closer to you than before", as she resumed her position head on his chest, him kissing her gently on top of the head, both holding hands as the darkness crept into the room, neither aware nor caring.