Disclaimer: None of this is mine, nor will it ever be (sigh). I like to play with the characters that Stephenie Meyers created and make them do pervy things or become angels with a bad attitude.

Next chapter will be in Bella's POV so you can experience her feelings, emotions … It will be a lemon-ish. (Will it be a full lemon? That's all up to Bella).

Chapter Thirty

EPOV

"I'm going to get ready for bed and wash the makeup off my face," Bella said. "I don't like wearing this much war paint. I feel like I can peel off my face." She kissed me lips, humming contentedly. "Thank you for today. I know I was adamant on returning to home, but I'm glad we stayed. Your house is getting a bit crowded."

"Hmmm, agreed. Alice, Seth, Esme, Charlie and any other wayward angels in need of a bath, or food," I deadpanned. "I like this. You and me. Just the two of us."

Bella smiled tenderly, taking her toiletry bag and disappearing into the bathroom. I removed my jacket, sweater and t-shirt. With a roll of my shoulders, my wings were released and I sighed. I hated them being squished inside me. Bella likened me releasing my wings to her taking off her bra. When she described it, I totally agreed with her.

I lay down on the bed, idly flipping through the information packet that Jane had given to Bella regarding the school district and the building, Bennett Elementary, where she'd be working in the fall. The door opened and Bella walked out, wearing a white, fluffy robe. Her eyes were cast down and she was gripping the robe, as if she didn't want to take it off. "Bella?"

She blinked up at me and blew out a breath. "I want to rewrite history, Edward," she whispered. With shaking hands, she pushed apart the robe. She let it fall and she wore a navy-blue negligee, revealing her slender body. "I want you to show me … you said I always had a choice with you. I choose you. I want you. Show me how much you love me."

BPOV

What am I doing? You're crazy, Isabella? He's going to see you. He's going to know that you're broken. This is madness. Put the robe back on and fucking leave. I was trembling, desperate to show Edward that I was not broken. But, I was. Though, I wanted to feel him, his body. He'd never been anything but loving, kind and patient with me. He never pushed me.

I wanted to rewrite history. History of me losing my virginity. History from this hotel where I cried in fear of what I did to Edward, using him in order to feel pleasure. It felt good the moment it happened, but I was no better than the monsters who used me for their pleasure. Edward stood up, moving in front of me. "I can feel your fear, pretty Bella," he whispered, taking my face in his warm hands. "I don't …"

"You said I have a choice," I choked out. "I choose you."

"I have a choice, too, Bella," he murmured. "I don't want you to feel how you did before. I heard your thoughts, felt your shame. You did not use me. It was pleasure freely given. In case you've forgotten, I also enjoyed it, too." I blinked up at him and saw his crooked smirk. I stepped forward, my fingers tracing the black ink, whorls on his pale, but muscular body. "Bella …"

"I trust you," I whispered. "I know you'd never hurt me."

"But, I don't want you terrified of me," he said, pressing his forehead against mine.

"I'm not afraid of you. I … I have to do this, Edward. I can't move forward if I don't. I have zero control in my life right now. I lost my job, which I got a new one. My life isn't my life. I'm under the care of a legion of angels because my ex-boyfriend, who's under the control of Lucifer, has a bug up his ass to get back together with me and do things …," I said, slamming my eyes shut. "All because my father was a Dominion."

Edward looked at me, his fingers grazing my cheeks. Blinking open my eyes, I stared into his jade-colored orbs, praying he believed me. I wanted this. I wanted him. He kissed me tenderly, his lips molding against mine. My arms slid up his shoulders and I tangled my fingers into his hair. Keeping his mouth on mine, he bent down and picked me up, carrying me to the king-sized bed that dominated the room. Laying me down on the bed, he slid next to me, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Touch me," I whispered. "Please?" Show me how it feels to be with someone who doesn't hurt me …

He leaned forward, brushing his lips against mine and his fingers glided along my arm. Curling his hand around my neck, he deepened our kiss, sliding his tongue into my mouth. I felt his wing slither behind me and cup me closer to his body. The feathers against my back were ticklish, but made me squirm. He pulled back, staring into my eyes. His fingers danced along my arm and traced my collarbone. Gently, he nudged the strap of my negligee off my shoulder, revealing the swell of my breast. "Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded, biting my lip and arching my back so his hand could caress my skin. He kissed me gently and his fingers teased my breast over my fairly conservative nightie. It was nothing more than a navy-blue slip, that reached just above my knees. I had on a pair of navy-blue satin panties, that matched the nightie, underneath the silky material. Edward slid his thigh between my legs and the fabric moved further down on my skin. The top of my nipple was in view. He gently cupped my breast, his thumb circling my nipple.

I moaned against his mouth, melting into him and feeling desire course through me. His lips traveled down my neck, teasing my shoulder before they took purchase on my breast, nibbling and sucking on the tender skin. I whimpered, tugging on his hair.

His hands were cupping my breast and holding me to his tattooed, muscular torso. He released my nipple with a pop, kissing me deeply. "I love you," he murmured. He took my hand, pressing it to his frantically pumping heart. "This is yours. Forever, Isabella."

I gently pushed him on his back and sat astride his trim hips. I gathered the material of the nightie, lifting it from my body and revealing my nearly naked form. He sat up, staring into my eyes and his fingers gliding along my spine. He rolled his shoulders, shuffling his wings. It reminded me that he was not like the monsters who took my childhood. He was the embodiment of everything that was good. I leaned forward, kissing him on the lips. My fingers tangled into his messy hair while he pulled me closer to his body. I felt his hardness against my thigh. Against his lips, I moaned and rolling my body over his, almost instinctually. "Take the ugliness away, Edward," I murmured. I sat back, taking his hand and pressing it over my heart. "This beats for you."

He kissed me, tenderly, but passionately. He leaned his forehead against mine. "Do you trust me?" he asked. I nodded. He sat back, staring at me. "Truly?"

"I do, Edward," I whispered.

"I want to give you pleasure," he murmured, his hands cupping my behind. "This is my choice. Do you want me to?"

"How?" I asked, afraid of what he'd see, feel.

"It's all up to you. I could touch you, bring you ecstasy with my fingers," he said, his fingers massaging my ass. "Or, I could taste you." He kissed me, his tongue invading my mouth. I remembered being hurt with fingers and other foreign objects. He pulled back. "Mouth, then?"

"Down there?" I squeaked. He smiled, slow, carnal and sexy and nodded. "And you'll stop if it's too much?"

"You're in control, beautiful," he said, his smile dropping and concern spreading over his perfect features. I saw the love swirling in his eyes and felt the tenderness in his touch. Plus, the grey wings that ruffled were a clear indication that he was different, that he'd treat me with the respect I should have received. I leaned forward, caressing my lips with his. I showed him that I wanted him to kiss me between my legs. He cupped my face and carefully rolled us so I was on my back. His body was in the cradle of my hips. He continued kissing me, tasting my lips and he pulled back. "I love you."

I smiled, tears welling in my eyes. He kissed the them away before his mouth was attached to my neck and sliding down the length of my torso. His hot breath, his wandering fingers and teasing nibbles were bringing me to the brink of pleasure. He inhaled deeply, pressing an open-mouthed kiss above my panties. "You smell so good, Bella," he groaned. His hands rested at my hips, sliding the fabric of my underwear over my skin. He looked up at me, his eyes nearly black with desire. He arched a brow, showing me what he wanted.

"Yes," I nodded, brushing a wayward hair off his forehead. He shot up, kissing me with such care, I whimpered at the loss of his lips against mine. Sitting back, he eased my panties off my body and placed them next to my hand. His eyes didn't look at my body, but held my gaze. He was idly caressing my calves and breathing heavily. He spread his wings, which nearly the width of the room. Not a monster. Not a monster.

"Never, Bella," he said.

"Look at me," I choked out. I felt my body heat as he took me in. He crawled up, caressing my face. "Do you see?"

"I see the most beautiful woman on the planet," he breathed. He showed me what he perceived, but I didn't believe him. "You are, Bella. I'm so lucky to have you as my mate, my true love." He kissed me again before moving back between my legs. His lips were first on my ankle, kissing up my left leg. He tickled me behind my knee and I giggled. His eyes flashed up to mine, a playful smirk on his face.

"You did that on purpose," I said.

"I did. Showing the person you love how much you care for them, physically, isn't a serious occasion. It's a time to explore, to learn their wants and desires, and to have fun," he said, reaching behind my knee and tickling it again. I shifted, an anxious titter falling from my lips. "When done correctly, the right touch can make you laugh …" He reached again, but his fingers moved slower, almost massaging me knee. I whimpered. "… Or, yearn for more. Which do you want?"

"I'm yearning," I moaned and he smiled, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to my lower thigh. He turned to my right leg, repeating the same actions with his mouth. He tried to tickle me, but it was only my left side that made me squirm and giggle.

"I'm learning," he purred. He blinked up, looking at the scar that marred my lower body. The thin silver scar was just above my bikini line, where my uterus was removed, similar to a C-section. The damage to my sex was too great it had to be removed surgically. His eyes filled with tears and he pressed a soft glowing hand above my barren womb. I felt the warmth from his healing powers, but I knew that he could not replace what was taken. He leaned forward, kissing every centimeter of the scar. "I love you. Every part of you." May I kiss you? He blinked down to my swollen sex. I nodded, minutely and he smiled tenderly, spreading my legs. He kissed my inner thighs and inhaled deeply. "Bella …" he breathed before he ran his tongue along my slit.

Oh. My. God!

My head fell back at the tingles that shimmered through me from that simple swipe of his tongue. His kisses between my legs were full of tongue and he tasted every inch of my sex. I could feel my body react to his mouth on me. My stomach was clenched and I could feel the pleasure building with me. He only used his mouth, tongue and teeth. He kissed my sex hungrily; the same way he kissed my mouth. He flicked the sensitive nub and growled lowly against my skin. I was moaning, writhing, pleading for release. His hands reached under my legs, threading with my fingers. I squeezed his hands as the waves of pleasure began to crash over me. I arched off the bed, lost in what he was doing to me, giving to me freely and with love. I felt it with his movements and his mind chanted it, repeatedly.

When I calmed down, Edward lay down next to me, his wings curled around my body. I was panting, reliving and trying to remember what I'd felt. He pressed his lips to my forehead, holding me tightly. "You're so beautiful when you come," he whispered.

I traced his tattoos. Could I give him all of me? Looking up at him and seeing his soft expression, feeling the tender hold he had around me … I knew. I was truly rewriting my past. I ran my fingers down his strong jaw and kissed his lips, tasting my essence on him. He moaned, nipping at my mouth. "Make love to me," I said. He pulled back and he took a moment to read my mind. "I want to feel you. Inside, Edward. I … I …" I couldn't say it. "I want to show you." I reached the button of his jeans. "Make me yours."

"This will seal our bond, as mates," he said, his hands cradling my face. "I will be yours, just as you will be mine. There will be no one else for me."

"I want that more than anything," I said, tears escaping my eyes. Edward wiped them away and kissed me again. We worked to unbutton his jeans, sliding them down his muscled legs, along with his boxer briefs.

"You're in charge," he whispered. "I think you'd feel in more control if you were on top."

"No. I can't," I said, shaking my head. "I want to feel you. I trust you." I looked into his eyes. "I want to see your wings … so I know, that …"

"Okay, love," Edward murmured, moving so he was in between my legs. He knelt before me, massaging my thighs and fluttering his wings. The sound was soothing, hearing the feathers ruffle. Caging me with his arms, he looked at me. Leaning down, he kissed me, his lips tender and warm. I felt his hardness against my thigh.

Wait, before we … I thought to him. I'd never seen a penis. In my mind, they were weapons, wrapped in barbed wire and used to hurt, destroy and maim. "I want to see you." He moved, laying on his back and I sat up, my fingers tracing the ridges of his torso. "Are you sure it's alright?"

"Bella, I trust you. I love you. I don't want you to be afraid of me, or my body," he said. I nodded, moving my hands down to his trim hips, seeing the elusive 'V' where his legs met his torso. His arousal was up, long and thick.

"Can I touch it?" I asked, feeling like an inexperienced girl. Edward nodded and kissed my palm, before placing my hand on his hip. His skin felt warm. I could feel the muscles and power lingering just beneath the surface. Moving my hand, I timidly wrapped it around his erection. It was not what I expected. I thought it would be rock-solid and piercing, ready to cause me pain, but it felt like a steel rod, wrapped in the softest velvet. And he was big. "Will it hurt?" I asked, my voice tiny.

"Not when it's done right, pretty Bella," he said, sitting up. I looked back up at him and his green eyes were swirling with sadness. "Making love … it's something shared between two people who obviously care for each other. It can be so beautiful. It's never supposed to hurt … well, unless for a woman's first time … I don't want to hurt you. We can stop."

"No, I want this. I want you," I said, wiping my cheeks and feeling like a fool. He cupped my face, staring at me and swiping the tears away. "Show me … show me love."

"Always, my beautiful girl," he said, a sad smile spreading over his face. He kissed me, moving us back so I was on my back and he was over me. He continued kissing me, making me forget my trepidations. Pulling back, he smiled crookedly. "Are you okay?" I nodded. "Do you trust me?"

"With my life," I whispered. Make love to me, Edward.

He reached down, guiding his hardness to my entrance. I felt him nudge just inside. I froze, remembering every horrific moment when my choice was taken away. "It's me, Bella. Open your eyes. Look at me. The man who loves you." I opened my eyes, sniffling and shaking. "I don't …"

"Please," I cried. "I'm okay."

He kissed me and slid inside me. I gasped, shocked at how full I felt and how there was absolutely no pain. He held me, whispering against my temple how much he loved me and how strong I was. Wiping tears away, he moved his hips, filling me and I stared into his green eyes, lost in their depths. Over his shoulder, I could see his wings. Coupled with his almost reverent movements and his whispers of his love, I started to relax and feel what was happening to me.

It felt good.

Really good.

"It's supposed to feel good, Bella," Edward chuckled, kissing my lips. "Do you trust me?" I nodded and he rolled us. I was perched on his lap, him still inside me. His wings wrapped around us. "Another layer of protection," he whispered. "Make love to me, pretty Bella."

I tentatively moved, feeling him deeper inside. I whimpered, my fingers tangling into his hair. He tightened his arms around my waist and kissed me. I rolled my hips and showed him how I felt. I couldn't say, but I was going to damn well show it. Our bodies moved in perfect harmony and I could feel the pleasure growing, once again, from inside me. "You feel good," I breathed.

"Oh, baby, words cannot describe what it feels like to be surrounded by you," Edward said. "To feel your body around me. I love it. I love you." The tightening of his arms and the feel of his wings around me, I started to lose control. My body took over and soon we were panting, sharing one body, one soul. "Bella, I'm so close. So fucking close."

"Hmmmm," I moaned against his lips. His hands tightened on my hips as I felt him grow harder inside me. I shuddered, my muscles clenching around his hardness. He grunted and groaned loudly, his release sneaking up on him. His eyes were closed and his mouth was open as his arousal pulsed inside my body. I slumped against him, listening to his heart beat. I knew I was crying, but I didn't care. I'd given Edward a part of myself. It was my choice. Sitting up, I wiped my face and cupped his cheeks. "You're beautiful when you come, too."

He smiled tenderly, kissing my cheeks. "I disagree, my beloved. You know, you're stuck with me now. I'm never going to let you go, Bella," he whispered.

"I don't want you to," I said. Grinning crookedly, he slid me off his now flaccid penis. He darted into the bathroom and got a wash cloth, gently wiping down between my legs. He handed me my panties, but not my nightgown. "Really, Edward?"

"You've got a beautiful body. It's a shame for you to cover it up," he said, waggling his brows and sliding between the sheets. I put on my panties and cuddled against his body. His wings were around me, like a protective barrier. "Are you okay?" I nodded, afraid to speak. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No, Edward," I said, kissing his jaw and inhaling his masculine scent. He tightened his hold on me and I felt so protected, so safe from the world, from the nightmares that were planning on attacking. I burrowed closer, pressing my ear to his chest and let his steady heartbeat lull me to sleep. As I drifted, I knew two things …

One – my life had irrevocably changed. I'd let someone into my life, into my heart and I felt like I was ready to finally say those words.

Two – If something happens to him, I don't know what I'd do. I couldn't lose Edward.

I just couldn't. But, the pit in my stomach made me think otherwise …

Shit …

A/N: They made love. Edward showed Bella what it should have been like for her first time. If only mine was that romantic … it was a drunken night with my boyfriend and it was not all that memorable. I mean, really … Ugh. Anyhow, enough about my sex life, or lack thereof. Will Bella ever be able to say she loves him?

I'm thinking I'm going to stay with Bella for the next chapter. Let's just say, it's going to be a big chapter … Leave me some loving! Thank you for reading! OH, and there was a manipulation made by Clo that was the inspiration for this chapter. Those of you who follow me on twitter (tufano79), tumblr and Facebook: Tufano79's Twilight Fanfiction Appreciation, have seen the manip. It's so gorgeous. Anyhow … Leave me some!