Chapter 43: Leaving
Red traveled with them from that point on and if he couldn't talk, he certainly understood everything they said. The other two males weren't exactly trusting of him but they made him a part of their traveling routine. Tifa realized that Red could have other motives for first following and then joining them but she couldn't see much point behind any of the ones she came up with as possibilities. In the end, it all came down to 'what was the point?' If he was a Turk or Shinra spy – why bother join them when it was easier to just kill them? If he had some other evil in mind for them, why not just carry through with it instead of the long pretense of being a part of their group?
Red seemed to understand and he didn't push his presence into the group. He also seemed to understand that the men got more cautious when it came to Tifa than when it came to themselves. Tifa got the idea Red found it vaguely amusing and for herself she couldn't decide if it was cute or annoying. It certainly had bonded Zack and Cloud though because now, instead of watching each other cautiously around her, they both watched Red instead.
Cloud still laid out his sleeping mat next to hers every night though.
Which was nice. And – frustrating. Because Tifa had to stay on her own mat instead of moving over to his. Otherwise it would look like their relationship was something it wasn't. But it was hard because she had found so much comfort sleeping next to him. Really sleeping next to him and not on a separate mat with all kinds of space between them. All she really wanted to do was snuggle up against his side and feel the warmth of him and fall asleep surrounded by the clean scent of him and the sound of his breathing.
Which was really something she was going to have to get over wanting. There was no excuse for it anymore and if she did it for no reason, even if he somehow didn't jump to the wrong conclusion, everyone else would.
It wasn't as if she was going to be able to sleep next to Cloud for the rest of her life anyway.
As much as she'd like to think otherwise, Tifa knew their time together was only temporary.
So she slept on her own mat at night and consoled herself with the stars above and the quiet sound of Cloud's breathing.
She wasn't going to be weak. She wasn't going to be needy.
And she was so glad when they finally reached a town because she'd been about to go mad and start snapping at unsuspecting people because she couldn't sleep where she really wanted to at night.
They entered the town late in the evening, coming off of the grass plains and following the wide packed, dirt track that led to the buildings. After the time in isolation, coming into a busy place full of moving people was a bit of a surprise to Tifa and she wondered at how quickly she'd adjusted to life outside of Midgar's slums. Red walked at her side, his head easily as tall as her hip and people gave them a wide berth because of it. Their small team found the only inn the town seemed to have and Tifa was glad when they got a single room together. Apparently the guys weren't any more interested in splitting up than she was. It was simple safety really, considering they were probably wanted and who knew how far Shinra was willing to search to find them – but it was also comforting to Tifa. She'd gotten used to hearing the quiet sounds everyone made as they slept and the feel of their nearby presence.
Zack insisted on ordering food for their room and no one argued considering the only other option was the noodles everyone was deeply sick of. Tifa went and took a hot shower while they waited but she was quick about it. Not because she wanted to be but because it wasn't fair to use up all the hot water yet again when Cloud and Zack probably wanted a hot shower just as badly as she had. Coming back into the room in the only other outfit she had – the dress Aerith's mother had given her - she saw the boys had already assigned her a bed, dropping their packs onto the ones they wanted to claim. The bed in the middle was apparently going to be hers and it made her smile. She could think of just about a dozen or so girls that would have killed to be in her position right now…
until she remembered that most of the girls she was thinking about had been living in Sector Seven…
"Clean up pretty good, Lockhart" Zack congratulated her from where he was sorting through his pack and she just shook her head at him and sat down on her bed, folding her legs up under her and digging a brush out of her pack. Tifa started to comb out her wet hair and Cloud slipped out of the room for his own turn at the shower. Red settled down on the carpet at the foot of the bed and rested his head in his front paws. Tifa didn't suppose he wanted a shower.
"So now what?" she asked Zack after she finally finished with her hair. He sprawled back on his bed with a sudden exhale. He liked to do things suddenly and dramatically she'd learned. It was a sharp contrast to Cloud but it seemed to work well for both of them.
"We were thinking – "
"By 'we' I assume you mean Cloud and you?" Tifa asked politely and Zack's eyes slid over. Just beginning to realize that he might have said something wrong.
"Um – yeah?" he answered carefully. Tifa looked over at Red who had lifted his head to give her the same type of look. Tifa realized she'd been foggy and a bit weak lately – but they were a team of – well, four really. She gave Zack a look as Red trotted over to sit down next to her.
"What did 'we' decide?" she asked calmly.
"That things might be getting too hot on this continent," Cloud's voice came from the door and Tira turned her head to see him in clean clothes with a towel over his shoulder and his hair damp. It did nothing to control the spikes. He walked over and sat on the foot of Tifa's bed. "It might be time to go on 'vacation' elsewhere."
"Where?" Tifa asked, still determined not to be left out of things because she was hurt. Determined not to be distracted by the fact Cloud still had drops of water on his skin and she just knew if she leaned just a little closer, she could press her face into his skin and he would smell good.
Cloud shook his head.
"Don't know. I need to get to Wutai but I can't go right away. Not if Shinra recognized me."
"I said Costa del Sol," Zack inserted cheerfully. "Sun, sand, and ocean breezes. It would give us a chance to get our heads back on and figure out what we wanted to do next."
Tifa looked at Cloud and he shrugged a single shoulder. Watching her.
"We'd still be together?" she asked, hating the way her voice went quiet and she looked away from Cloud to look at Zack and Red. The three of them were her family. All she had left in this world. She hated being so weak and yet - "Right?"
"Hey," Zack grinned and sat up to scoot forward on the bed to sit directly across from her. "You know I'm coming along. Even if we don't go to Costa del Sol. You're my gang now." He offered his hand. "We're in this together, right?"
"Whatever 'this' is," Tifa managed and laid her hand in his, feeling better. Cloud's own hand shifted to rest on top of both of them. Not his usual style but – it reminded her so much of the way she and Marlene and Denzel used to seal promises…
Their hands were bumped upward as Red pushed his nose under them and Tifa found herself laughing softly.
"Okay," she agreed. "Let's try Costa del Sol. I've always wanted to visit a beach."
Their food came then and after that Zack headed off for his bath and Red wandered out. Tifa finished cleaning away their dishes and set them neatly stacked outside the door before coming back into the room. Cloud was at the window and Tifa drifted over to join him. Outside night had already fallen and the warm golden light leaked out of the open windows and shutter cracks of the homes that lined the simple road. Inside their room it was dark. So long outside at nighttime none of them had thought to light the lanterns in their room. Reaching out Tifa laid her hand on Cloud's arm.
"Did you want to call Yuffie?" she asked softly and Cloud shook his head, not looking away from the window.
"She'll just want to come if I call," his voice was low in the night and his statement made Tifa smile softly. She stepped in closer to the window and it brought her closer to him as well. She watched the little slivers of golden light in the darkness beyond too.
"Do you think we're doing the right thing? By leaving?"
His head turned and he looked over at her but she continued to stare at the night beyond, brows low over her eyes.
"I feel like I'm running away," she supplied softly. "I made a promise to stop Shinra and the first thing I do is run away."
"Bait and switch." Cloud's voice was quiet and she raised her face to look at him. He was looking back out the window again but his arm slipped around her shoulders and she leaned into him with a relieved sigh. "They're expecting us to come at them one way and we'll come at them from another. There are reactors on the other continent and fewer supplies to repair them with. We'll finish things with Shinra. For all they've done."
Tifa knew. One day she'd ask Cloud exactly what had been done to him. Ask him what exactly he was. But not now. Not tonight with the golden light in the darkness beyond them and his arm around her so that she could press in against his side. She cared – it was just that whatever he said wouldn't change anything inside her.
She was in love with Cloud Strife as he was. Whatever had brought him to that point was just another part of that whole.
Content, she laid her head on his shoulder and let the night slip up on her and lull her heart.
'Marlene… Denzel… Aerith… do you see me? Do you know I'm going to be all right?'
000
okay - absolutely unrelated but if you enjoy Zack and Cloud vids - FPTrebirth has an awesome one over on YouTube titled Break Me Down. They're freaking a-mazing with masking and vid cuts!
