Chapter 49: Broken Dreams

Tifa was surrounded by junk. It piled up on either side of her, broken, rusty, useless bits that didn't even make sense any more. At first she'd been sorting through it, trying to divide the useless and marketable items from the sheer junk ones but as time went on she found she was digging through the forever odds and ends under her, tossing everything aside where it joined the piles already built up around her. Junk, junk, junk and as her digging got more frantic she realized it was in the way. It was all in the way. What she really wanted was buried somewhere under all the junk. She had to get to it, she had to find it. Had to – save it…

Had to save it from being buried under all the rubble and the trash. Had to. Had to. She had to get to what was under all of the junk before it was too late. Before –

the air ran out.

She was desperate now, fingers getting torn on the sharp edges of the metal she recklessly tore up and tossed over her shoulder. Vaguely she was aware that the junk she was throwing was forming walls, higher and higher around her, but –

She had to find what was buried under her.

It was depending on her, counting on her and she was failing it. Failing…

Them…

The realization of who was buried and desperate for air and helpless and counting on her under all that rubble was just starting to hit her – just starting to horrify her –

When hands closed around her shoulders. Gentle but insistent, she heard her name in that tone that she loved. In that voice that she loved –

"Cloud?" she woke up gasping his name and he was there, arms winding firmly around her, drawing her close and deep into the warmth and solid security of him. She burrowed in without modesty or hesitation, fingers winding in the fabric of his shirt. She was gasping, shaking, cold and sick feeling in her stomach and the edges of the dream, the emotions of it, clung to the corners of her mind and heart like cobwebs. Cloud's hands moved over her, stroking, warming. Anchoring her. She kept her eyes open even though all she could see was the dark fabric of his shirt, terrified of going back into that dream. Concentrating, she focused on where she really was. She forced herself to inhale that clean, storm smell of Cloud, to feel the heat of him, the solid length of his body where it pressed into hers. To listen to the sound of his heart against her. Slowly, where she was soaked in passed where she'd been and while her body still didn't relax – on guard against falling back into the dream – her breathing steadied. And she started to realize just how intimately she was pressed up against Cloud…

He had her pulled tightly into him. He'd also leaned forward to do it and now she was pinned against him with an equal combination of his arms and the long leg he had slung over both of hers – and the sleeping mat and floor. It trapped her pretty completely against and partially under Cloud and also pressed her just as completely up against his body.

She'd never felt so safe.

And so aware of someone else...

"I'm sorry," she whispered the first thing that came to her, trying desperately to distract herself from wherever her mind had been wandering. She shifted to press her face into his throat and shook her head. "I woke you, didn't I?"

"No," his voice was equally soft and she thought it was rough at its edges. "My watch."

Even lying there in the dark, they didn't trust where they were and so they'd been taking turns keeping watch. Their bodies were used to it anyway. Cloud's hand continued to stroke over her, slow, gentle, curving around a shoulder, sliding down her back while his other arm held her close. She realized she was still trembling but it wasn't exactly the dream anymore.

There had to be something wrong with her that she shifted from the utter panic and despair of the dream to wanting Cloud's touch so quickly.

Except – considering what the alternative was focusing on the dream –

She slid her arms around his neck and held on.

"Did I wake everyone else up?"

Above her his head shook and she felt herself relax. Just a little. Cloud must have felt it too because his hand moved to the back of her head, smoothing slowly over her hair. Somehow, he found a way to tuck her even closer into himself with his other arm. Despite herself, she gave a weak smile against him.

"We're going to have to find a way to pay Zack back," she whispered against his skin. Needing the distraction. He made a low, almost silent grunt in his throat and she felt it in her own chest where it was pressed so tightly against his. She shut her eyes for just a second.

This was terrible! She'd never felt so safe and surrounded and comfortable – and yet… and yet she also wanted to drag her nails over him in frustration, bury them in his hair, pull his mouth down to hers and –

She slammed the brakes on that train of thought. Crap! She needed distraction from her dream – but that kind of mental distraction was going to cause all kinds of its own problems. Locking her jaw, she concentrated on a safe subject. Revenge on Zack.

"He's going to look smug for days," she murmured and felt Cloud's chest move in a silent laugh. When Zack had dropped his 'make a decent woman of her' bomb, you could have heard a pin drop in the room. Which was saying something considering how dirty it was. Until the old man had started cackling and made some comments about 'impatient young people'. They'd eaten dinner and settled in for the night after that but Zack hadn't lost the smug twinkle in his eyes.

"He'd date you. If you'd let him." Cloud's voice was so low and soft that she almost didn't hear it. Almost. Her arms around him tightened automatically.

"Zack?"

Cloud nodded against her and both of his arms had wound around her again. Tifa shook her head in protest against him but his arms just tightened a little more and he didn't answer.

"Zack flirts with everyone that's female. Even the stray cats around the cottages that were female followed him around."

Zack was a flirt. He couldn't seem to help himself. He was cheerful and funny and friendly and he genuinely liked people, especially the female variety. But – he never took it too far. Zack wasn't an intentional heart breaker. In fact, in all their time in Costa del Sol, and with all the opportunities he'd had – she'd never seen Zack actually move beyond flirting with anyone. At her mention of the stray cats and Zack, Cloud made a quietly choking noise deep in his throat and it made Tifa smile. Gentle, she raised the fingers of one of her hands and threaded them through Cloud's soft hair at the back of his neck. Feeling – home again. Feeling the peace and contentment starting to settle over her.

"Not Zack," she whispered, safely tucked into Cloud. Zack wasn't interested in her that way and she was glad. Her arms were already around the only man she ever really wanted.

"Not Zack," Cloud repeated in a quiet exhale and for just a moment, his head lowered and his face was pressed against her throat and shoulder. Then he shifted so that they were both lying more comfortably and she felt his lips brush her forehead as he lifted his head again. They lay that way for the rest of the night, in the quiet and the dark and even though Tifa didn't sleep again, she still felt rested and whole by the time the sun started to peek through the cracks at the bottom of the curtains.

They ate a quick breakfast and then set out again. People watched them with suspicion from the broken doorways as they went past and Cloud led them back out the way they'd come. It meant they were headed the opposite direction from where they'd wanted to go and they spent most of the morning once they were out of the town working their way north so they could go around North Corel without being spotted. No one complained or asked why however. Despite their anti-Shinra attitude, it just seemed wiser not to let anyone from that desperate town know where they were really headed.

Tifa was glad to be away from it. It had reminded her of some of the small time bullies in Midgar. Sad and vindictive and desperate and hopeless. Besides, she was getting used to hiking and spending her days in travel and it felt good to be back in the fresh air. If it wasn't for the whole hot water and craving for a meal that wasn't instant from time to time, she might have just wanted to travel this way for the rest of her life. She didn't even really mind the monsters that popped up from time to time.

One of the things Cloud had apparently bargained off the old man in North Corel was a set of brass knuckles. He had given them to Tifa once they'd gotten out of the town, walking next to her as he took her hands without explanation and slid them over her gloved fingers as if they were some kind of bizarre engagement ring. She'd clenched her fists to get the feel for them and then played with them while they'd walked. It had taken a bit of getting used to in combat but once she'd figured out how to use them best, she was delighted with the extra damage she dealt out. Just against monsters though.

She wasn't so sure she'd be willing to use them against people.

She did however punch Zack in the arm when she wasn't wearing them.

"'Make an honest woman of me'?"

"What?" he spread his hands but he was grinning. "You're my sister. I don't want to see you hanging out with some loser that's not even going to marry you. Cloud's a good guy but he's a little slow."

She started laughing and, in front of them, Cloud just shook his head.

"Well, since you're my little brother – shouldn't I be bugging you about when you're going to get married too?" she asked cheerfully and Zack gave her a crooked grin, eyes laughing.

"Not me. I'm a single guy."

Tifa made a noise.

"You mean to tell me you've never had a girl you thought about wanting to marry before? Never? Not even as a kid?"

Zack shook his head honestly.

"Nope."

Ahead of them, Cloud's head turned back toward them and the look from the corner of his eyes was –

Tifa puzzled over it because it hadn't been laughing or even curious.

"No one?" Cloud asked quietly from in front of them, watching where they were going again and Zack laughed.

"Nah. Too many pretty girls to choose from. And since Teef here is my sister – I'm making due with seconds."

Tifa rolled her eyes at him and gave him a shove that would have made Aerith proud. His eyes laughed at her as he danced to the side and than came back.

"No one who wrote you letters?" Cloud was asking persistent questions and Zack finally caught on, looking at the back of the blond's head in mild puzzlement.

"You know something I don't? Some pretty girl who wants to write me letters you just happen to be carrying in your pocket?"

Tifa caught a glimpse of Cloud's face for a second and saw he was frowning, brows low over his eyes. But his voice was as mild as before when he commented:

"No. Just – nothing."

"Huh," was Zack's opinion and then he turned his attention back to Tifa.

"So do you have a pretty friend that would like to date a handsome, daring ex-SOLDIER?"

Tifa laughed but a whisper of sadness moved through her soul.

"The only friends I have other than you are Cloud and Red. So I guess I should ask if you like blonds or redheads."

"Thanks," Zack snorted his laugh. "I'll pass."