oh, so tempted to leave this chapter until next week...
Chapter 53: Taking Sides
Tifa's eyes went huge in her face and she jerked and froze at the same time as Leon kissed her. She'd thought… she'd thought she'd been kissed before but that had been in her teenage years, quick, shy pecks that were nothing – nothing at all – compared to the way she was being kissed now. Leon was heat and passion and – and she slammed her hands up against his chest where it was pressed to hers, shaking her head as she pushed.
She'd put more force into the push than she'd intended to but he'd already been letting go of her the moment she'd started to shake her head. Letting go of her face but his hands closed around her shoulders and he pulled her close again to look down at her and his eyes were intent.
"I know what I said, Tifa," his voice was low and rough at its edges and she saw pain in his eyes. "But I saw you on that damned TV in Midgar… and I thought I'd lost you. I thought I'd lost the woman I loved all over again to Shinra." He shook his head and shook her, though it wasn't hard. "You scared the hell out of me. Don't do that again."
For some reason it made Tifa choke out a laugh and she rested her hands on his chest.
"It's not like I planned that," she protested with a weak smile and he returned an equally weak smile. That she could deal with. Tifa could handle the laughter and the panic and the desperation. It was the – it was the kissing she didn't know how to react to. Light, she patted her hands against his chest.
"You didn't lose anyone. See? I'm here. Everyone's here." She hoped the heat on her cheeks wasn't too obvious and she quickly covered by babbling. "I even brought new friends." She turned to introduce them –
and saw Cloud.
His face was absolutely calm and expressionless. But something in his level, just as calm aqua blue eyes said Leon was about to get slaughtered. Somehow, it was an even more terrifying look than the fire that had been in his eyes when he'd tried to kill Zack. Just because Leon had shaken her?
It had probably looked rougher than it had actually been.
"Cloud saved me, you know." She started to go to the blond warrior but Leon's hands tightened on her shoulders. So Tifa simply ducked and twisted so that he couldn't keep a grip on her and, still talking brightly, went over and put her hands on Cloud's chest. His body shifted to loom protectively but his eyes didn't flicker from Leon and if anything, there was electric starting to build in that blue.
"He's kept an eye on me the entire trip here," Tifa continued brightly, curling her fingers so she could press her nails into Cloud through his shirt. His hand came up, inexplicably, to cup her elbow but his eyes didn't change. Tifa got the bizarre notion that he was mentally prepping the materia he carried on him. Which was ridiculous. But –
"Didn't you, Cloud?" she reached up and caught his face in both of her hands, willing him to let her draw it down so that he would stop looking at Leon that way. "Cloud?"
He heard the change in her voice when she said his name the second time, heard the softness and the worry and she watched him forcefully wrench his eyes free to lower them to look at her. The relief was so huge inside her that she actually smiled softly, gently at him. The light and aqua of his eyes all but swirled as they focused and fastened on her.
"Hey," she greeted his attention softly and stroked a thumb over his cheek. Intimate with him the way she usually only let herself be when they were alone and people weren't there to jump to the wrong conclusions.
"You took care of me the entire trip, didn't you?"
His eyes focused on hers and his shoulders sank just a little. He looked – lonely suddenly. A thousand miles away and alone even surrounded by their group. But his eyes didn't abandon hers.
"You got me out of that Shinra building. And you kept me safe when I didn't know where to go or what to do. You took me somewhere warm to get better when I thought I'd lost everyone. You never once left me alone."
His eyes softened in his set face but the loneliness didn't leave. He didn't look like he was going to calmly slaughter anyone anymore though. Tifa gave a quiet exhale of relief. And gave him a quiet smile as well.
"I wouldn't have made it, if you hadn't been there."
Zack finally cleared his throat and Tifa, grateful to him from drawing the attention elsewhere, turned her head as her hands slipped down off of Cloud's face to rest on his chest. She gave him a bright smile.
"All right, Zack. You helped too. Just a little."
"Thanks," he laughed and the tension in the room seemed to relax as well.
"And Red helped too," Tifa turned to look at the creature sitting near Denzel. "Everybody – this is Zack. And Red. They helped us get out of the Shinra building. Red, Zack – this is Barrett, Leon, Cid, Shera and Yuffie. They're friends of mine from Midgar. And they don't like Shinra either."
"Any friend of Teef's is a friend of mine," Zack stated cheerfully, though he gave Leon a warning look and moved to stand closer to Cloud. "In fact, anyone that's not happy with Shinra right now is pretty much a friend of mine. And hey," he turned his attention on Yuffie. "You're Cloud's sister, right? I've heard about you. How, in Gaia's name, do you put up with him? 'Cause I really hit the end of my fuse sometimes."
It was said so openly and cheerfully that Yuffie laughed and danced over to join them.
"He's a real pain sometimes," she agreed with a smile and wrapped both of her hands around one of Cloud's arms.
They were teasing Cloud affectionately and drawing him back into their circle and Tifa felt better. One of these days she was going to explain to the man that let her go out and fight monsters on her own that a little shaking didn't hurt her –
Just not today.
"So have you guys eaten yet?" Tifa asked the rest of the newly arrived group cheerfully and soon had everyone at the table with new food being brought in. Aerith caught her in a private moment and muttered:
"That was scary."
"Tell me," Tifa agreed.
"So which guy should I be cheering for?" Aerith asked brightly and Tifa shot her a look. Which Aerith returned, not about to let Tifa get away with playing innocent.
"Neither," Tifa answered, embarrassed and annoyed. Aerith shook her head.
"That's no fun at all."
Zack must have caught the way Tifa's eyes were starting to roll in panic because he called her over from across the room to come join him. She did with relief and he soon had her laughing as he charmed Shera and teased Cid about his tea obsession – but Aerith's question kept rolling over and over inside Tifa's head for the rest of the morning.
Which one? The guy that admitted he loved her that she didn't love back? Or the one she was hopelessly in love with and who didn't return the emotion?
Even if she could have controlled her emotions, which she didn't think she could, would she have even wanted to do anything differently?
By the time everyone was done eating, Zack had organized a tour of Wutai with Yuffie as their enthusiastic guide. Tifa took Denzel, Marlene and Red and went with them. Mostly so that she wouldn't have to be alone with anyone that was going to ask her difficult questions and, considering even Shera was shooting her curious glances, Tifa figured that was just about everyone. Zack however, wasn't interested in asking and made it a point to not leave her alone with anyone else that seemed to be.
She would have gladly erected a monument to him for it.
She caught Denzel and Marlene in 'plot' mode a couple of times but they just gave her bright, innocent smiles when cornered and she figured she was just going to have to wait until they made their move to find out what evil they had fermenting. They did prove to be wonderful distractions however for most of the day, dragging her all over Wutai's capital almost as much as Zack and Yuffie. They didn't get back until after dinner and Tifa was grateful for that too. She needed some time to figure things out inside herself – and a little bit of time for everyone to forget this morning – before she was ready to go again.
Aerith was waiting for her when she got back however and her friend made a sealing motion over her lips.
"I won't say a word," she promised. "Not tonight at least. I just want to show you the firefly garden they've got here. The kids and I go every night before bed."
So Yuffie and Zack handed her off to Aerith and Red tagged along. Marlene and Denzel caught both of Tifa's hands and kept tugging faster and faster until everyone was running down the path, laughing.
The firefly garden was tall grass and low ponds and true to its name, what looked like a hundred or more of the brilliant bugs tracing lazy patterns in the evening air. Tifa sat down next to Aerith while the children and Red chased the bugs through the grass and started, finally, to relax. Aeirth, having promised not to talk about 'the incident' stayed quiet next to her for a long time. Finally she said:
"He really jumped in, didn't he?"
"Mm?" Tifa asked and Aerith, watching the children, said:
"Zack. All day. He really jumped in and covered for you, didn't he?"
Tifa was quiet for a little while. Not sure how much to say to her friend.
"He's the one that unlocked the cell door in the Shinra building to get us out. Since then he's been like a brother. An observant, commiserating brother."
Aerith nodded and didn't say anything else.
Tifa let the children play until they started yawning and then she rounded everyone up and headed back to their rooms. Aerith took her up on her offer and slept with them and Red in Tifa's room and soon Tifa was half buried under sleeping bodies, listening to the longed for sound of her sleeping family.
The problem was that Tifa herself couldn't get to sleep.
After a while, she finally gave up and stole one of the thin quilts to wrap around herself again as she walked on silent, bare feet over to the door and slid it open. And saw –
sunshine…
"Cloud…"
He lifted his head from his chest but didn't move from where he was sitting against one of the pillars, one leg bent at the knee. In the moonlight he looked drowsy and yet his eyes were reflective blue and brilliantly bright. And guardedly watchful. Tifa left the bedroom door open in case one of her siblings started to make noise and padded over to where he was. Exhaling deeply as she reached him, she settled down on the wood floor next to him.
"Everyone's safe," she stated softly and heard his hummed agreement next to her. With a sigh, she tipped her head back to rest against the pillar and looked up at the ceiling of the porch.
"Everything's going to change now." She watched the whirled patterns of the wood above her. "And – its stupid but I wish it wouldn't."
Cloud was silent next to her in the dark and she hadn't been expecting a response.
"We can't really stay in Wutai. Not for long at least. I saw Shinra soldiers today. Just wandering around but it means we're not safe here either. Not the ones they'd recognize at least. Me and you and Zack. Maybe Leon and the others." She wrapped the quilt a little bit tighter around her and shifted against the pole. "I meant what I promised too. About stopping Shinra. Even if I got my family back, most of it, there are so many others that never will. And not just in Midgar but in New Corel and even here in Wutai. And we still have to find out what happened to Zack's memories." She rolled her head a little to look at the side of Cloud's impassive face in the moonlight.
"And that thing we saw on the ship in del Sol. Jenova and Sephiroth."
Cloud's breathing was steady and even next to her and it helped sooth her. Helped quiet her rushing head. After a minute, Cloud finally spoke.
"There's a scientist rumored to be outside of Wutai. He helped Shinra with their Jenova project. I'm going to go find him and get some answers tomorrow."
"With us, you mean," Zack walked out of the shadows, startling Tifa but Cloud didn't seem surprised at all. He just turned his head to look at the other man. Zack came over and dropped down in front of both of them to rest on his heels, wrists over his knees.
"Cause I've been thinking – Lifestream is memories and stuff. And SOLDIERs are infused with mako, which is concentrated Lifestream. What if that messes with your own memories or something? What if I got a dose of someone else's memories and it short-circuited some of my own? Doesn't explain the scar or anything but – it's a start, right?"
"We're a team, aren't we?" Tifa asked it simply. "Which means we stick together. If you go, Cloud, then Zack and I go too." She shrugged at Cloud's look. "Part of the deal."
Hesitant, Cloud nodded but his voice was sure.
"We'll go tomorrow. Rumor had it that he was holed up in the mountains around here."
"Good." For some reason Tifa felt as if they'd just settled so much more than when they were going to hunt down a scientist. In fact, her heart felt more at ease than it had all day. She stood up and started back toward her door. Pausing, she looked back at the two men, light and dark, in the shadows.
"Are you – are you going to stay out here for a while longer?" she asked and Zack looked over at Cloud. Who nodded. Just once. Zack looked back at her with a smile.
"You know it, Lockhart. Go get some sleep. We'll wait until you're gone to gossip about you." He looked back at Cloud. "Or motorcycle engines."
It made her laugh softly and she padded silently back into her room and slid herself back among the pile of family and friend on the wide bed mat. Denzel was awake and his eyes flickered in the dark at her but he snuggled back in against her back as she settled and his breathing slowed almost immediately. She didn't close the door between her room and the porch. Content that her friends were here and there. She surprised herself by falling asleep quickly and deeply.
