Here we go, folks. The last regular chapter. This is unbeta'd, all mistakes are mine.

Chapter 20

"Get away from the window before he sees you," Rose demands as she fixes the bottom of my dress.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm fluffing."

"Trying out for PornHub, are we?" I raise my eyebrow until she looks up and realizes our compromising position then we burst out laughing.

"You've been around Emmett too long."

"Well, stop bringing him around."

"He's about to be your brother-in-law."

My eyes widen in horror. "I just realized that. I must cancel the wedding right away." She snickers and keeps fluffing away.

I roll my eyes and bat her hands away. "You're fussing too much. Relax. I'm getting married, not you."

"Yeah, still wondering how that happened."

"Bitch," I mutter as I collapse into one of the chairs in the room.

"Bella! I just fixed that dress," she complains.

"If you think my lazy ass is standing for the next hour, you're certifiable."

"Okay, I'm back. I have champagne, wine or vodka," Alice announces as she walks in the door.

"Speaking of certifiable," I grin as she flips me off.

"I have you know my new therapist says I'm doing great."

"What does your old one think?" I tease.

"That I'm mind blowingly good in bed."

I crinkle my nose in distaste. I still remember seeing Jasper's lily white ass in my bathroom.

"Got any bleach?"

"Fresh out," she laughs, popping open the champagne. "We have to toast." She fills the glasses and passes them to us. "To Bella, our best friend and her happily ever after."

Our glasses clink and then we drink. I move back over to the window, ignoring Rose's protests. "Heifer, let me be."

"Fine," she huffs.

A knock and we all turn around to see Esme poking her head in. "Am I intruding?"

I smile. "Never. Where are the goods?"

"Oh, Bella," she gushes, ignoring me. "It's just perfect," referring to my black floral dress.

"You were there when I picked it out. Video, now," I reply impatiently.

"Let me have my moment cause quite frankly until last year, I thought I was going to have to sign my sons up for The Bachelor."

"Emmett on The Bachelor would be like reading crackfic," I laugh.

"Leave my Monkey Man alone," Rose sniffs, playfully.

"Nope. Stop there. I don't want to know."

"Well, if he's anything like Carlisle, I know what you're talking about." Esme boasts.

"Esmeralda!" I shout. Her eyes twinkle with humor as she looks at me before giving in.

"Oh, fine. Gather around, girls." They all come to sit next me on the couch. She pushes play on the video and we all wait with delicious anticipation for Edward to realize it's Emmett in a bridal gown and not me. I was surprised he wanted a first look but I gave in- just not in the way he thought I would. As per usual. We watch the photographer give Edward some instructions as Emmett creeps up behind him in a long white dress stressed at its seams in his huge body.

"Is he wearing a veil?" Alice asks.

"Go big, or go home," I reply, before shushing her.

Emmett glides up to his brother and taps gently on his shoulder, going into a pose as Edward turns around, a gentle smile on his face that morphs into confusion before he starts laughing at the sight before him.

"This is all Bella, wasn't it?" He asks.

"Of course, Bro. Well, aren't you going to tell me how beautiful I look?" He strikes a pose while Edward grins and shakes his head.

"You are definitely a sight," he chuckles.

"Are you nervous?"

"Not at all. I'm excited in a way I have never been in my life. And I'm so glad you're standing beside me as I marry the woman of my dreams."

"Tear," Emmett says, as he trails his finger down his face.

"You're still an ass, though."

"I feel the same and one day soon, I'll let you return the favor. But before then, I gotta get ready for my next gig. See you at the altar."

The video ends then and Rose is agape.

"Did he just imply he's going to marry me?"

We all look at her in disbelief. "Where the hell you been, loca?" I ask.

"I mean, we've only been seeing each other for a year."

"Your point?" I ask, gesturing to my dress. "Let's get me married then we can worry about you two."

"Would you girls mind leaving Bella and I for a moment?"

They both nod and then are gone in a whoosh of sage green chiffon.

She looks at me, her eyes welling with tears.

"Oh no, what's wrong," I ask, alarmed.

She grabs my hands and grips them. "Absolutely nothing. I am so genuinely happy that I can't stand myself. I was content with my two boys and didn't miss having a daughter until I met you. I knew the instant we met, this day would come. And now I have you and Rose and Alice and my life is perfect. You are the daughter I have always dreamed of having and I'm so glad you almost shot my son."

"I am, too," I sniff, trying not to cry because my make up is perfect for once.

"Now, I know I'm not your mother but I wanted the photographer to come in and get a couple of pictures with us. If you don't mind, that is?"

I blow out a breath. "You're the mother I've always dreamed of having," repeating her words back to her. "I'd be honored to have some pictures with just us."

She smiles widely at me before stepping out into the hall and beckoning the photographer, a lovely woman named Emily.

We pose for a few photos then Esme produces a box out of thin air, handing it to me.

"This is for you."

I open it, gasping at its contents. It was an exquisite black onyx and crystal hair piece.

"May I?" She asks. "I knew you didn't want a veil so I thought this would be pretty." Emily snaps pictures as she gently puts it in my styled hair, careful not to mess it up.

I turn around to face her when she's done. "I love it. Thank you for loving me like your own," I whisper.

"You make it so very easy," she replies, wiping away a tear I didn't even know I let fall. "Now, let's get you married." She slaps my ass then leads the way.

We walk downstairs where I will have a first look- with Charlie. The emotion on his face is one I will never forget.

"You're breathtaking, Bells," he whispers.

"Don't make me cry… or fall," I warn him.

"Never," he assures me.

"It's time," Alice tells me. Esme excuses herself to be escorted to her seat, while the girls, Charlie and I await our signal.

"Bella, what is poking my leg?" Charlie asks, confused.

"Don't ask, don't tell."

"Huh?"

"Mind your business, Daddio," I say in a mock stern voice.

He eyes me but lets it go, suddenly distracted by our guest's raucous laughter.

"I really hope the videographer is good because this I can't wait to watch."

"Is he passing out… beer?" Charlie asks, squinting to get a better look from where our location.

"Yup, my wedding is a proud sponsor of Bud Light. And Rainier, so you don't throw a shit fit."

"Okay, we're going. See you in a few," Rose blows me a kiss as she and Alice disappear out of the backdoor and into the now tented backyard of my in-laws. They spared no expense at making sure this wedding was everything we wanted, including lots of flowers, food and heat since it was in the dead of winter here.

"Are you sure you want to do this? You can back out now, you know?" Charlie whispers.

I look at him like he's insane. "I thought you loved Edward."

"I do, but I'm told this is part of my duties as father of the bride."

"Says who?"

"Emm…ett." He trails off as he realizes what he's saying.

"I'm good," I assure him.

"Cause I have my gun," he presses. At my look, he quiets.

And then it's my turn. I hand my bouquet over to Charlie. "I'll meet you down there."

"Bella, what are…" But I'm already gone.

I run, gracefully for once, to my groom, coming to a complete halt once I'm beside him. Grinning at the laughter of our friends and family, he leans over to kiss my cheek.

"You're breathtaking," he whispers in my ear as he pulls away and Charlie finally reaches us to hug us both. I gesture for him to hand the flowers off to one of my bridesmaids and then focus completely on my groom.

Emmett clears his throat and we both look at him. My brother in law came to me about a month ago and pleaded his case on having more than one role in our wedding. So, he was a 'bride', a flower girl and our officiant. Seeing as how if he'd never placed that ad, we wouldn't be here, I figured it would be fitting.

"Mawwwage. Mawwage is what brings us to today," he begins, much to my delight.
"Skip to the end!" I quip. "I'm kidding." I assure our guests.

"As most of you are well aware, this date signifies the end of a year and the beginning of a lifetime. One year ago today, Eddie met the love of his life. It's a cautionary tale of what not to do to meet a chick. Don't forget to wear your glasses, don't get too drunk that you don't realize you're going into a dark parking lot, don't stalk said woman in said parking lot or you'll be looking down the barrel of Angelina and I don't mean the actress. Then we all know what happened next…"

"Emmett get on with it or no food for you tonight." I warn.

His eyes widen comically. "I now pronounce you man… I'm kidding. Okay, I'll behave just don't threaten me with my food, Woman." He clears his throat. "These two stand before us willing to vow forever to each other in the most sacred of ways. I've known my brother all my life and I know without a doubt that Bella was made for him. She's his penguin, and he's hers. And if anyone is confused by that, so were we when she blurted it out in the middle of a public restaurant." I smile a little at that. "My point is, I've never seen any two people more suited for each other, opposite though they might be. If there is anyone who objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace."

I make a show of raising up my dress and unholstering Angelina, holding her up and slide it until it makes a loud clicking sound, playfully wishing a m'fer would. Charlie groans as everyone else laughs.

"Are you okay, Annie?" Emmett teases.

"I'm okay. Nobody seems to have any objections. Let's move this along." I had the gun over to a grateful Charlie who takes all the ammo out before pocketing it.

"Right. Now for their vows. Edward?"

"I, Edward Clinton Cullen, take thee Bella to be my lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold, for richer and poorer, to love with and laugh with, to tolerate Tanya, to replace all our furniture once a year when she claws it to death with little to no complaint. I shall endeavor to always make enough money to fund your food addiction. I will do the majority of the cooking when we don't eat out, so you and our future children won't starve, or worse, die of food poisoning." I mock scowl at him but the twinkle in my eye gives me away. "I will love you forever and a day because forever isn't, and will never be, long enough. This is my solemn vow." He places my diamond wedding band on my finger and kisses it.

"I, Isabella Marie Swan, take thee Edward to be my lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold, for richer and poorer, to love with and laugh with, to tolerate your brother, to go grocery shopping to replace all the food Emmett and I eat when we are together watching chick flicks so you never have to come home to all of our snacks gone. I will do the minority of all household chores because I suck at them but will make up for it in other ways, if you get my drift. In the words of Carbi B, 'I don't cook, I don't clean but let me tell you, I got this ring. Heyy'." The bridal party goes nuts and I struggle to keep a straight face. "I will love you forever and a day because forever isn't, and never will be, long enough. This is my solemn vow. Amen, God Bless." I place his wedding ring on his finger and squeeze his hand three times.

"With the saying of their vows and the exchanging of their rings, it is my honor to pronounce Edward and Bella, husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride."

Edward wastes no time in sealing the deal and it's only when people start protesting at the length of our kiss that we part, grinning at each other.

"We did it," he whispers.

"We did," I nod my head trying to appear as normal as I can.

"You really want to, don't you?" He says, knowingly.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You wanna sing the Dora the Explorer song."

I laugh, cause he knows me well. "I'll refrain. I can't have people thinking I'm odd."

"That ship sailed long ago, my dear. Now, let's go party."

"Edward," I whisper to him before we go back down the aisle."

"Yes?"

"Now, I wanna sing Barbie Girl."

"What am I going to do with you?"

"Love me forever," I say.

"And a day," he promises.

And with that we walked down the aisle and into our future.

This has been a long time coming, I know. It's equal parts crackfic and sappy. I appreciate you sticking around and waiting patiently during the last… good grief, SIX years to be completed.

We do have an epilogue coming, hopefully in the next day or two.