The Cullens meeting up with Maria in Calgary can be found by Jessica314 in her Outtakes and Oneshots
Beta: The incredible and amazing kiwihipp
(Update 1 Feb 18)
Chapter 11: Practice Makes Perfect
Bella's breathing and heart rate changed, signalling, I assumed from when she had slept in our home previously, her awakening. She eventually blinked rapidly and opened her eyes. The softness in her gaze slowly turned to confusion as her eyes moved down and she began staring at her hands, which were still clutching my top.
"Sorry," she muttered sleepily as she opened her hands letting my shirt go.
"It was no bother, Bella," I told her. Uncertain of how to proceed and what she might need I asked, "Do you need a shower?"
"That would be great," she replied evenly.
Moving at a human speed to not startle her, I got up and out of her way while she puttered into the bathroom.
Alice called Jasper. Probably their texting through yesterday and especially last night had been insufficient, and they needed the assurance of the other's voice. Certainly they missed each other; I missed Carlisle. It had been Friday early morning since I had last spoken to him, although we had sent occasional texts to one another.
"Breakfast?" I asked Bella when she came out of the bathroom into the bedroom once more.
"Yes, please," she replied without a smile, but she appeared more relaxed.
I handed her the menu and she called in her order to room service. After the phone was placed on the receiver, she looked around appearing a little lost.
"You all right, Bella?" I asked her.
"I should call my Dad," she told me her tone a little vacant.
"Oh, of course. Go ahead," I told her closing the bedroom door behind me giving her the illusion of privacy.
"Thanks," she replied perfunctorily through the door.
"Morning, Dad," she greeted him once the connection had been made.
"Morning, Bells," he responded.
"Are you sure you don't want me to come back in time for the funeral?" she asked concern colouring her tone.
"Yeah, I'm sure," he insisted leaving no room for arguing. "You have a good time with the girls. In fact, I probably won't be home till late. I'm going over to the Clearwater's after." He paused briefly as if his train of thought had changed course. "Actually, I'd rather if you weren't in the house alone."
"What time are you thinking you'll be home, then?" Bella asked her voice quivering.
There was a pause. "I'm not entirely sure," he answered and then shortly after asked tentatively, "What would you think about spending the night at the Cullens?"
Another pause was made, this one longer. "I don't think I can do that," Bella said quietly her voice cracking.
I got Alice's attention and quickly murmured if she would be willing to stay in Vancouver another night. She checked in with Jasper and agreed.
"Of course, Bells. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking," Charlie muttered.
"No problem, Dad," she told him her tone gentle, but there was a strange mix of emotions present that was hard to distinguish.
I took that moment to knock softly and then walk in. "Bella?"
"Hold on Dad," she told him looking over at me.
"I was just thinking that since I took you to the theatre, Alice didn't get to finish her spring shopping like she wanted to do. Do you think Charlie would agree to us staying up here one more night? We could finish Alice's shopping, do some touristy things, and then leisurely drive back to Forks on Sunday."
She had a combined look of surprise, gratitude, dismay, and worry. She turned her attention to the phone. "Dad? Esme just asked if I could stay one more night. Evidently Alice didn't get all her shopping done."
"That might work for the best, if you're okay with it," he agreed easily, sounding relieved.
"Yeah," she stated half-heartedly. "Sounds like that would work best for everybody."
"Thanks, Bells. I've got to get ready."
"All right. Give everyone my condolences," she instructed him.
"Will do," he agreed easily. "Be safe."
"Bye Dad."
"Bye Bells."
Once the phone was back in the cradle she turned to me her expression too mingled for me to understand what she was feeling or thinking.
"Thanks for being so understanding, Bella," I told her. "You're a good friend. Perhaps we can find you a few more things as well."
"As long as she adheres to the conditions," Bella grumbled her face appearing contemplative.
"Maybe we could find a bookstore along the way?" I asked hoping to lighten her mood.
Bella's eyes lit up. "That just might make it bearable."
"Good, it is settled."
Bella chuckled and went to join Alice.
Shortly after Alice got off the phone. While Bella ate breakfast we agreed to a plan for the day including shopping downtown. Alice would get to check out the boutiques, Bella would, we were certain, encounter a bookshop, and I got to tag along.
Other than making sure Bella ate and drank regularly, the day ran seamlessly. Alice seemed to adjust to making times to meet and allowing Bella to lead a little. It was wonderful to watch the transformation in both of them. Not surprisingly, a little after Bella had eaten lunch we had found a bookstore. While Bella perused books, I found a corner and was able to catch Carlisle. We kept it brief, as he was on his rounds, but it was good to hear his voice nonetheless.
After dark and Bella eating dinner, us three girls went ice-skating. Alice and I took turns keeping Bella upright until she got the hang of it. It was great fun, and I enjoyed the feelings of being motherly in a way that I didn't get to do with my other ones. Ultimately I would appreciate not having Bella so fragile, but there was something particularly sweet in having to keep an eye on her and be mindful of her needs.
We came back to the hotel, where Bella made quick use of the bathtub. We repeated the events of the night before including Bella falling asleep midway though the movie.
It was many hours later when Alice asked, "Do you think she'll ever be able to enter our home again?"
"I don't know," I told Alice sullenly. "Already she's improving, so hopefully with time she will. I hope that she will be able to, but if not, it is only three months before graduation. Maybe then, if it's a different house, it will be easier on her."
After a few moments Alice asked, "Do you think we will have taken care of Victoria and Laurent by then?"
"I would hope so, but there's no way to know for sure. We don't know where she is, and now there are newborns living in Seattle. Feels like we're being surrounded by problems, and a part of me just wants to take Bella and run."
A long silence ensued before Alice spoke again. "Given what you shared in Newfoundland, Jasper tells me that Bella will probably be better off and be an easier newborn if we give her time to heal before she is changed. So, waiting seems to be what is best for her and for us, but I often have the same compulsion."
Musing on her words, finally I spoke. "Perhaps fleeing from danger is a part of our nature."
"Hmm," was the only sound that she made. Much later Alice broke the silence that had settled upon us by asking, "Have you tried using your gift again?"
I chuckled. "I don't think it's a gift, Alice. I have painted since."
"The one of Bella was pretty powerful," she commented seemingly insistent on convincing me that I had a gift.
"I've painted Bella as we knew her before we left, one of Bella as one of us, and the two Carlisle's of my youth: the one I knew and the one in my tale."
"No pressure," she assured me. "I just love your work and I think your paintings make a powerful statement, even if I'm not sure what the statement is saying."
Smiling at her answer, I considered that her statement was a reflection of most artist's work. I paused shortly. "Was today any easier?"
After a moment she answered, "Yes, actually. I think that it might just get easier as I practise it more. Thank you for asking."
"You seemed to have a better time of it, so I'm glad to hear that. I really am. And you are welcome."
For the remaining of the night we each kept our own thoughts company us both texting our husbands. Bella woke in a similar way as the day before and went through a similar routine. During Bella's breakfast, Alice requested that we visit one more district. I agreed on the condition that we leave by two in the afternoon.
"Should we get anything for your father, Bella?" I asked.
"No," she answered, but she seemed lost in her thoughts.
"Is everything alright?" I asked her.
"Yes," she stated and then after a second said, "No." After a few more seconds her tone changed once more and she explained, "Well, you see, Harry, Dad's friend died. I was wondering what they might need."
Grateful for her increased honesty I considered how we might be able to help. "Food?" I offered. "That seems to have been customary through the years."
Bella's eyes seemed brighter and softer.
"What about leaving by noon, picking up food along the way, along with some pans, and cooking some dishes at your house?" I offered.
She smiled. "That sounds great, Esme."
"All right then, it's settled."
Charlie came home a little after 6pm, which by then Bella, Alice, and I had two dishes in the oven and two in the process of being finished. Us cooking together had been much more enjoyable than I had imagined, even if Alice was a hopeless cook.
"Smells good in here," Charlie greeted us as he walked in.
"Hands off," Bella commanded smiling at her dad. "They're for the Clearwaters."
"That's really good of you, Bells," Charlie offered to her gently as if unsure how she would respond.
"It was Esme's idea and they both helped," Bella deflected.
"Thanks," Charlie offered gruffly looking between the three of us.
"You pick up a thing or two as a doctor's wife," I offered as an explanation.
"Bet you do," was all Charlie said.
Giving Bella a hug, I told her, "We need to be going. Alice starts back to school tomorrow after all."
Bella chuckled as Alice hugged her. "Thanks for everything. See you in school tomorrow," Alice exclaimed.
"Carlisle in yet?" Charlie asked me as we walked towards the front door.
"No," I answered unable to hide my sadness. "He's still has another week at the old job."
Charlie nodded and said nothing.
"Bye you two. Enjoy your evening," Bella told us as we departed, but she seemed distracted and there was no life in her words.
Charlie opened the door and Alice and I walked to the car.
"That went well," I declared as we drove away.
"Can I check?" Alice begged.
"Not on Bella," I warned her, "since we still haven't voted in agreement about that."
"I remember," she grumbled.
"Go ahead then," I agreed.
Alice stilled for just a moment. "I looked happy with my best friend at school," Alice informed me with a sly look.
"Glad to hear it, Alice." I smiled back.
The next day Alice was once again enrolled and attending Forks High. She seemed genuinely happy to be near Bella.
Jasper had seemingly done nothing but pour over his computer the whole time Alice and I had been gone. He paused briefly upon our return to spend time with Alice. However, once she had left for school, he was back at it.
After a few hours I searched him out, "Found anything helpful?"
"It's not looking good," was his curt reply.
Standing near I waited for him to look up. When he did I asked him, "How are you doing, really?"
"Worried, nervous, frustrated, irritated, determined, puzzled, uncertain, missing Alice, and sad," he stated in a precise clipped tone.
Smiling at him, hoping he understood my bemusement I told him, "Thank you for the report, Major Whitlock. Now," I slowed my voice down, "how are you?"
He looked at me puzzled clearly uncertain of my question.
"Moving back here was the most strategic choice given the variables we knew at the time, but the risk is high," he told me his tone softer and more contemplative. "My instinct is to grab Alice and run, which I am fighting by trying to fully understand what it is that we have just walked into."
"You know," I said with a conspiratorial tone , "Alice and I were just saying on our trip how our instinct is to run from this situation. It is what makes the Volturi unique. They walk into the situations our kind creates that none other would face, and make our world safer. We are choosing to walk into danger out of love. You walked into skirmishes and fought for years. How did you go against your instinct to run then?"
Pondering my question his face fell, "Mostly, I believed Maria's lies. It seemed like I had no better choices and victories meant plentiful blood. So, lies and thirst."
"And now?" I pressed him.
Looking at me, he smiled appreciating my tactic. "Now it is for my love of Alice and my desire to keep this family safe."
Smiling at him, I told him, "Then trust in that. Trust that if you could win the battles with only lies and the promise of blood to motivate you, that your love of Alice and familial ties will triumph."
"What happened to your speeches of hope and faith, Esme?" he teased.
Smiling widely I informed him, "Trust in the unknown is faith, Jasper. I just thought I'd say it a different way for your sake. I am encouraging you to have faith in yourself and in your love and affection for us."
His eyes twinkled and the edges of his lips moved as if he wanted to smile broadly, but he was holding it in. "And they say I'm dangerous," he muttered, but there was a gentle playfulness in his tone.
"Think about it," I ordered him, "And then let the unhelpful emotions go."
Nodding seriously he looked up at me. "You're doing better."
"Yes," I agreed. "Your suggestion that I chat with Carlisle helped a lot, and being here, seeing that our presence has been good for Bella, has been beneficial for me."
"I'm glad for you," he told me his sincerity coming through clearly.
Waiting for him to continue, I said nothing. When he went back to typing I asked, "Was there more you wanted to say, because your tone implied that you hadn't completed your thought?"
"Nothing you don't already know," was his reply.
"Perhaps I need a reminder," I encouraged him.
Turning to me, he looked me steadfastly as he told me, "The emotional tenor between you and Carlisle is not that much different than between newly mated couples. You both are growing and learning one another. Make sure you make your relationship a priority. Us men folk need our women more than we are ever able to admit to ourselves."
"Thank you," I told him genuinely.
"You're welcome," he said softly before turning back to what he was working on.
"I'll leave you to it; let me know if you need anything," I instructed him.
"Will do, Esme," he agreed.
For the rest of the week Jasper and I spoke little to one another, as no conversation was needed and we were both immersed in our work. At night the three of us were outside of Bella's house while Jasper used his gift to help Bella sleep. There were moments when it seemed that Jasper was losing his touch and she would cry out. In these times he would focus more intently, and she would calm shortly after, so I said nothing. Fortunately, we never ran into any shapeshifters, although we would catch a fresh trail at her house every couple of days.
On Alice's first day back to Forks High I had pestered her for a report on Bella.
"It's strange, Esme," she had told me after the basics were complete. "Except for Angela, it's like the other students forget that she's there."
"How can that be?" I had mused.
"Remember Bella saying that she walked through life and didn't remember it?"
"Yes I remember," I had told her.
"It's like she was so successful at it that she might as well not be there."
"Do you think you being there is helping?" I had asked worried.
"Some, but the habits from the other people are unlikely to change," she had hypothesised.
"Well, maybe you can give her what she's lacking from them," I had suggested.
"I'm a miracle worker, but even I might not be able to do that," she had groaned playfully.
Smiling I had encouraged her, "Well, there would be no better candidate."
After that, every day Alice would give me little reports on her making Bella a part of the world campaign.
A few days after Alice started back at Forks High we did another phone family conference with Carlisle, Emmett, and Rosalie on one end and Alice, Jasper, and me on the other while we pretended that only Carlisle and I were speaking. It was agreed that Edward would go to a music boarding school in Vienna. We discussed and agreed the details for the rest of our belongings and their arrival to Forks, but nothing else could be discussed.
Towards the end of the week, aside from the research Jasper continued to conduct, he spent much of the time Alice was at school scouting the area searching for any new scents. He only ever reported finding shapeshifter stench. Through the week I dropped Alice off at school, and the days Bella didn't work Alice spent a few hours after school at Bella's until Charlie got home.
During the week, I spent a few hours each days making a dish or two for the Clearwaters and then gave them to Bella to pass on, as I figured that more might cause someone to ask unwanted questions. I finished the paintings of Carlisle, although it took me over two days to do so. I often thought of Edward and would find myself in a windowsill watching the trees.
It was Friday, while Alice was still at school, when Jasper came to find me.
"He'll be okay, Esme," he told me without preamble.
I looked up slightly surprised at his words. It was almost as if he was the mind reader.
"I know that in my heart, Jasper. The feeling I had when I lost my little baby threatens me with him gone. That's all."
He stood contemplating something for a long time. When he spoke there was affection and certainty that was a strange combination from him. "Esme, you are a great mother and mate to Carlisle. You make this family into a thriving unit. The time in Ithaca was very difficult primarily because without you everything else stopped being the same. You are the very centre of us."
His words and his tone caused me to ponder if perhaps he was changing more than I had realised.
Looking at him appreciatively, I told him, "Thank you, Jasper"
He nodded in his southern way before he moved just slightly. "Saying that, you need to let Edward go. You can never stop loving him. I can feel your attachment and care mixed with your concern. But he made his choice. He is not an infant. He can take care of himself."
Each sentence felt simultaneously like a blow and that a great weight had been taken from me. The last one gave me a sense of such incredible relief. If Jasper said Edward could take care of himself, then really, I had little to worry about.
Silence stretched between us. When Jasper determined that I was ready to listen again he continued his voice unusually low and tender, "And we need you, Esme. I don't think you realize how much."
Looking at him for a long time, I considered what to say in response. "I appreciate your words, Jasper. You have a lot of wisdom hidden under those southern boyish charms."
He smiled, nodded, and sent to me something like appreciation and attachment as he left the room.
If nothing else was evidence of Jasper's and my changing roles, it was what had just transpired. Jasper had never embraced the role of my son. He smiled good-naturally when I treated him like one of the boys and he had always deferred to me as Carlisle's, the leader of our coven, mate, but this was familial. Not quite a son, maybe something akin to a younger brother. It made his words even more powerful.
Allowing the words to fully enter me, I realized that he was right. Edward had always had a soft spot in my heart. He was the child I loved first after I had awoken to this existence and had just lost my baby boy. Before Bella he was alone. And he always acted like he wore the weight of the world on his shoulders. I had wanted to lessen his burden.
Maybe Jasper's words were a part of my lessons. Jasper was right. Edward wasn't an infant. He had a woman who loved him, and had left her. That had been his choice. I would just have to hope he would return and have faith that he would learn from his lessons. I would offer him my love when he got here. Till then I had five others to look after.
Looking at the tree I imagined their root systems touching each other and that these trees in front of me were capable of being able to connect through their root network all the way to Edward wherever he was in Brazil.
"Tell him that I love him, he will always be loved, and he can return anytime," I asked the tree to convey to my missing son.
The rain fell gently and the wind moved the tree slightly. I took that as an affirmative that my thoughts had been heard and received. I went to find Jasper.
"Tell me everything you've learned," I asked him my tone firm.
"Sure?" he asked measuring me.
This wasn't about me. This was about keeping my family safe, most of all Bella.
"Yes," I told him certain.
In quick succession Jasper ran through everything he had learned and his best guesses about what was going on. I listened until it was time to go pick up Alice, and then he continued when I got back until I was all caught up. I didn't like what I heard, but was grateful that he had been so thorough.
Emmett, Rosalie, and Carlisle got in early Sunday. After greeting one another, Carlisle and I left the house. We hunted together, him taking more than I, and we talked about Bella, each of our kids, as well as where the family stood as a whole until he had to return to the house in order for him to start his shift. Carlisle came home Monday and Tuesday nights earlier than he usually would have. We both had agreed that us spending time together was a priority, forcing meeting up with the Quileutes and the conversations regarding plans to protect Bella from Laurent and Victoria to wait. No one objected, them as equally aware of the fact that after our time apart that we needed time as a couple.
We spent the time between those shifts together, often in our bedroom, reconnecting with one another and affirming our bond. Spending so much time apart, after so many changes between us, had not served us. Our years together, despite the changes between us these few months, allowed us to be confident that we would weather the strain the days apart had placed upon us, and hoped that ultimately our bond would be stronger for it.
Monday after Carlisle had left for work, Alice had driven the Jeep to school picking up Bella along the way. Rosalie had spent the day working on my new car with the tweaks and upgrades she wanted, while Emmett and Jasper had gone over strategies. After listening to Jasper and Emmett, I had joined Rosalie in the garage.
"How are you sweetheart?" I had asked her while sitting on a stool in the corner.
"I've never had to close up a house totally like that. I don't envy you," she had told me flatly.
"What about it was hard for you?" I had asked curious.
"Some of it was the sheer number of details. You and Carlisle are the faces of the family to the human world. Having workers turn off the gas, shut off the water, move stuff, and then going to the post office, donating things, making sure each item got into storage or here are not that much by themselves, but to do them while remembering which cover story to tell," she had ranted, "while nosy busybodies ask inappropriate questions, and golly me, even with our expanded brains, I just don't know how you do it."
Keeping a chuckle to myself I had told her, "Rosalie, remember, I managed a house and all those things as a human, and had been doing so for years. My life didn't change that much when I became a vampire."
"Well," she had huffed, "I have greater appreciation for choosing our cover stories if only for your sake. It quickly gets quite complicated."
Smiling I had agreed, "Yes it does." After a pause I had added, "I am glad you've gained an increased appreciation for the role in the family you've chosen, but you know, if you ever wanted more responsibility or to change things, please speak up. Carlisle and I never want you to feel hindered."
"Thanks Mom," she had said softly.
After allowing some time to pass, I had asked again, "So, how are you?"
"Ready to have Victoria dead so we can get on with our life," she had fumed.
With tenderness softly I had reminded her, "Things won't ever go back to the way they were. We have been irrevocably changed."
She had huffed loudly. "I know," she had stated with ire.
"Change isn't inherently bad, Rose. Emmett's arrival was a huge change, but look at all the good that came."
"Yeah," she had agreed softly.
"Change is probably always going to be a challenge to you. Your fear that something bad is going to happen because of changes makes sense, but, darling, being angry at the change doesn't make it easier or make the change go away. Be upset if the change harms someone, and by all means defend someone from harm, but change itself cannot be avoided or fought against. And if we never changed we might become the legends of those who turned to stone."
"Okay," she had agreed softly.
"So, tell me how was it to keep two boys in line in order to keep the timetable," I had instructed in order to change the subject.
"Carlisle wasn't too bad, but Emmett …" she had begun and then had talked for hours. When I had left her to carry out the rest of her modifications she seemed calmer.
Wednesday morning was the first chance I got to corner Emmett. Rosalie was in the garage still working on my car, Alice was at school, and Jasper was on his computer doing some more research.
"I need some help in the garden, Emmett, please," I let him know.
"Sure," he agreed easily.
"We're going to take all the weeds out of the flower bed and hope that the tulips I planted last year have more of a chance of coming up," I instructed him.
"Sure," he accepted and got on his knees.
After some time had passed and we were closer together, I asked him quietly in case he didn't want the others to overhear, "How are you doing Emmett?"
"Not much different than the last time you asked," he informed me quietly. "The whole thing is frustrating. I just want to go and get it done."
"Hmm," passed my lips.
"I get that this is Jasper's area of expertise, but first Edward is the know-it-all who plays the big brother, now it's Jasper. It's irritating," he sulked.
"Uh-huh," I added.
"And he just wants to talk everything though. There's too much we don't know and too many possibilities. You can't control for everything, you know? So why spend so much time trying to. Show up and figure it out as you go. Seems easy enough to me."
"Didn't work out so well with the bear," I pointed out.
"But then everything worked out good in the end," he rebutted.
"That's true," I agreed. "Could you live with yourself if Rosalie was hurt because something happened that you hadn't planned for?"
That must have gotten him thinking because he stopped weeding. Eventually he added, "No, I suppose not."
"Maybe that's how Jasper feels. Because of his background, he carries a responsibility to ensure no one is harmed. Maybe he needs to talk everything through and look at possibilities to calm his nerves and let him have a sense of being prepared."
"Huh," was his reply.
"You're a good brother to listen to him, challenge him, and force him to think in ways that he had believed that he had put behind him when he joined our family."
He grunted but said nothing more. After a few hours he asked me, "You need more of my help, because I had a thought for Jasper?"
Smiling I told him, "No, go ahead, sweetheart, go be a good big brother."
He grinned widely, jumped up, and wiped the mud from his knees spreading it on his pants.
By Wednesday afternoon when Carlisle was set to return the troops were getting antsy. With one look he and I agreed to make the discussion of how to handle Victoria and Laurent the priority. Each person shared what he or she already knew making sure we all were on the same page, and voted on what to do next.
"We need more clarity," Jasper stated firmly as the sun began to rise. "Battles and wars are not won with faulty information."
"I just don't see why we should go down to Seattle and sneak around," was Emmett's retort.
They had been going around and around about the specifics, but basically their ideas boiled down to these two different perspectives. Rosalie sat back and said little. Alice was waiting for a decision so she could check. Carlisle and I were listening. In so many ways the conversation was qualitatively different than how it had gone in years past when it had included Edward.
Edward, probably due to his gift, had often been impatient to allow Emmett and Jasper to debate like this. He would speak both points and then argue his preference. Sometimes that caused Emmett and Jasper to gang up on him, but in comparison to watching them now I could say that Edward had sped up the process. Nonetheless, I couldn't help but wonder what Emmett and Jasper might have lost in lessons and relationship formation with Edward adding his two-cents.
Carlisle let them at it until it was obvious that they were at a deadlock.
"Jasper's got a good point, Emmett. The information we have at this point shows that the deaths in Seattle are escalating and Jasper's research indicates that it's vampires, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we're dealing with Victoria and Laurent. We are not the Volturi. It is not our responsibility to enforce the rules. If it's not Victoria and Laurent and we're responsible for their deaths, there could be serious repercussions to our family.
"Therefore, how about you three leave in a few hours and go down to Seattle. While the sun is up see if you can find where they are located while they are likely to be in hiding. If you find Victoria, you have my vote to end her, if you can do so without repercussions to yourselves and the family. If you find Laurent, please ask questions first, for Irina and the Denalis sake. Otherwise you come back, relay the information you gathered and we'll decide what do to next."
"I would like to join you," I interjected.
They all turned to me in surprise.
"Esme," Jasper said cautiously as if concerned on how I might react to his words, "I don't think that's a good idea at the moment. If one of them caught your scent lingering near Bella's, and then caught it with the four of use, then it might give them more information about us than we want them to have, and potentially put Bella at risk."
Carlisle looked relieved.
I dropped my head, "Oh. All right. That makes sense."
Jasper sent me an emotion that felt like being soothed.
Smiling in gratitude to him, the conversation continued with Jasper and my exchange unknown by others. It dawned on me that Jasper had taken to communicating with me using his gift more than in the past. Was it due to Edward not being here? Was it the change in our relationship? Or was it some combination of the two? I wondered if that was a conversation perhaps best had with Alice.
"Are we agreed?" asked Carlisle when it seemed like the conversation was drawing to a close.
"Yes," we all said.
"Esme's request brought up another thing," Jasper added.
We all looked at him curiously.
"I think starting Friday, once everyone is home, I would like to do some training in the field. Perhaps we could go after our meeting with the Quiluetes?"
We all nodded our heads in agreement.
The plan to Seattle was finalized. Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie were going to concentrate their searching Seattle based on death rates. Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie agreed to keep patrolling the area once they were back in pairs at least, and we all agreed that at least Alice and Jasper should keep an eye on Bella at night with Jasper helping her sleep for the time being. Everything else we needed to discuss wasn't broached as those topics had taken the entire night.
I gave Rosalie a hug as they headed out. "Be safe, Rose."
"Don't worry," she told me assuredly. "I'll keep these cowboys in line."
"Stay out of trouble, Emmett," I warned him as they left.
Jasper and I exchanged a glance, but no words were needed. He was a trained military officer. He'd bring them home.
Even though Alice had seen it going fine, she sat watching Jasper until she had to go to school.
I began to imagine what it would be like if the six of us would have to face Victoria. I thought about Jasper's hunches that there might be up to nine newborn vampires in the city. I tried to imagine our family verses that number. We had never had to stand as a family without Edward. I tried to imagine what our meeting Maria in Calgary would have looked like without Edward or even when we had hunted James. He gave us an important advantage. Would we be strong enough without him? After a while, I felt the need to paint was I was feeling.
Alice had returned home from school, but comforting her had been fruitless. She had been lost in her visions, no doubt keeping a close eye on Jasper, so after a few minutes I had returned to my painting. I stopped, however, when I heard the Jeep in the distance. Carlisle was still at work. Wanting to be near them, I put my paints away, and went down to joined them in the living room. Jasper and Alice were snuggled together on a couch while Rosalie and Emmett were spread out on another.
"Anyone hurt?" I asked looking at Jasper once I entered the room.
"Not a scratch," was his curt reply. "Should we wait for Carlisle?" he asked me his voice softening.
"Depends on how many times you want to tell the story," I answered.
"He'll be home in 72 minutes," supplied Alice.
"Let's wait," Jasper determined.
"How's Bella?" I asked Alice to help pass the time as I sat down.
"Still not her regular self, but every day she seems more there. We started applying for colleges. She seems to be leaning on a state school, since it would be cheaper for her Dad. I suggested a Cullen scholarship, but she scoffed at me. I'm trying to convince her to look at schools further away. She did mention that she liked the idea of going to the same university as us all. We'll see. She's so darn stubborn." She said this last sentence in irritation and with a tone of defeat.
The edges of Jasper's lip rose.
"I blame you," Alice scoffed.
"Me?" I asked appearing innocent. After a moment I questioned, "How did she take the news of Edward's cover story?"
Alice frowned as she told me, "Her breathing stopped and her body did some weird thing I didn't understand and her eyes moistened, but she nodded, thanked me, and then changed the subject."
I nodded. "Yes, I suppose at this point that was the most we could hope for." After a moment I asked, "How about at school? Is she interacting with the other humans more?"
"Yes," she replied. "She and Angela, and thus by extension Ben, talk and interact. Angela seems genuinely concerned about Bella and glad to see her coming back into herself."
"That's good. We could confirm with Carlisle, but that seems to me like good progress for a little more than two weeks. It would appear, then, our presence is helping her."
Although Rosalie was appearing totally nonplussed, she was actually paying our conversation a lot of attention. I wondered why that was.
"How about her friendship with Jake?" I asked.
All four of them bristled at his name.
"From what I can tell she didn't spend any time during the week with him." Alice's relief was palatable. "She might see him this weekend, but she said she's working, so hopefully not. If I could look then I'd have more than guesses," she was nearly hissing at me by the end.
I gazed at her full of love and compassion for her struggle. "I know it's hard. I can appreciate that must be made harder by the fact that everyone but Carlisle and I have agreed for you to be able to search for her future. I promise you dear that we are still talking about it and when we are in agreement, you will be the first to know."
She smiled sadly but nodded in acquiescence. She nuzzled into Jasper's chest. I always admired how sweetly non-human they could be with one another. Rosalie and Emmett as well as Carlisle and I would probably never be like that, especially around the others. I inwardly smiled at how the last time Carlisle and I had spoken about Alice searching Bella's future Carlisle was being persuaded by the arguments of our children.
"I'm just saying Esme, not that I entirely agree, nevertheless, I do think that they have a point. Emmett is correct that we've already disregarded the decision we had all made when we left Forks to stay away from Bella. And Jasper is correct that Alice seeing Bella in this way will give us a strategic advantage. Not to mention that we are outnumbered four to two. They could out vote us," he had pointed out slightly concerned.
I had smiled sweetly. "Yes, they could. And yes, both Emmett and Jasper are correct in their assessments. But we are not a coven. We are a family. Rosalie's words in Newfoundland about who we are becoming as a unit are still salient. Alice is in the process of learning to not rely on her gift so much. It's important, for right now, for her to have a person in her life that she must be in the moment with. It's good for her. My answer is no. Yes, it's strategically better for a coven, but it's not what's best for either of my daughters as individuals or their relationship that they are just beginning to build. I think Bella needs to feel like she's on a more even playing field with Alice and this helps with that."
Carlisle had sighed deeply.
I had smiled at how human the expression of his frustration and resignation was.
He had looked at me and had smiled with his I love how wise you are smile. "You are correct, as usual. Unless the risk to our family becomes too great?"
"Of course," I had agreed easily.
He had kissed me and we had turned to other subjects.
The sound of Carlisle's car turning into our drive brought me out of my thought.
After parking the car, Carlisle came into the house, kissed me, and settled in next to me on the couch.
"We decided to wait for you to hear their report," I let Carlisle know.
"Please proceed," he told Jasper.
It had to be serious since Emmett wasn't cracking jokes, but was instead holding Rosalie in his lap and running his hands down her arms.
"We rented a car on the outskirts of the city like we had agreed. We parked it at the airport and then travelled by foot. We started east of SeaTac near some of the more shady motels. After searching further east and heading north by less than a mile we came across an abandoned storefront that had possibly nine distinct scents circling in the air around it. We found a rooftop not too far away and stayed there until it was an hour before dusk listening in and acquiring as much information at that distance that we could. Once our time was up, we travelled back primarily by rooftop and then walked to the airport. We returned to the car, deposited it back at the rental company, and drove home without interacting with any of them."
"Any chance that you were followed?" Carlisle asked.
"Not that we could tell," Jasper reported.
Carlisle had his look indicating that he was thinking.
Something in Carlisle's emotions must have told Jasper something, because he unexpectedly looked sternly at Carlisle. "They're newborns. I'm sure of it."
"We could hear them tearing at each other's flesh," Rosalie admitted quietly. Then she shuddered. "I had no idea," she started and then stopped her eyes lost in her memories.
We all gave her the time she needed.
After a few moments she spoke again, "I couldn't have imagined," but then stopped once more.
Jasper must have sent her some emotion, because she looked at him and smiled in thanks while Emmett looked puzzled.
Jasper looked at Rosalie softly and simply stated, "They are wild." Then he turned to Carlisle again. "There was one who seemed to be trying to keep them reined in, but it was temporarily effective. He mostly made threats about them being destroyed by her, although he never specified who she was. The climate was mostly bloodlust, anger, frustration, restlessness, fear, and confusion with some hesitancy and suspicion. Typical for untrained and unrestrained newborns."
Carlisle was statuesque, a rarity for him, with a look of being deep in thought calculating, no doubt, what this meant.
We allowed him the time to think through what had been said. The other couples snuggled into each other while I watched to see how he might need me.
He came to after about ten minutes had passed. "Do you think this is Victoria's or Laurent's doing?" he asked Jasper. "In our assessment after the fight with James, both you and Edward stated that there didn't seem to be much of a bond between her and James, and Laurent, well ..."
"I also said that allowing them to live was dangerous and unwise," he pointed out. "Just the fact that we killed their coven member made them a risk to us."
"It makes no sense to take such a risk," Carlisle mused.
"I may have underestimated their bonds," Jasper admitted looking upset. "Could Edward's and my conclusions be part of a gift? We are lacking critical information. Thus, although it could be Victoria or Laurent that created the newborns, we came across nothing that would confirm such a hypothesis. The newborns' scents carry similar qualities to Victoria's, but that's not enough to say anything definitive.
"And you're right; the creation of newborns is reckless on one hand. Whoever is doing this is likely to attract the attention of the Volturi. If I can read the coroner's reports, so can they. On the other hand, if it is Victoria or Laurent and their intention is to harm our family, then there is a sort of twisted logic. They must know that they cannot take us on just themselves, as we are likely to kill them, unless Laurent thinks that him spending time with the Denalis will give him some sort of clemency, and is using them to weaken us." He paused lost in thought for a second. "Either way, given our numbers, by creating newborns they can use them as cannon fodder to bring us down. If the Volturi do come, they can tell them that a human knows about vampires, and that we kept Bella as a pet. Either way they can be rest assured of our destruction."
"But that's a suicide mission," I blurted out.
"Maria's war often seemed like a suicide mission, but it was her way of living," Jasper told me gently.
Shaking my head, I realized that I would never fully understand the world that Jasper had come from.
Emmett was growling, Rosalie was hissing, and Alice had wrapped herself even further into Jasper's arms.
"Alice?" Carlisle asked.
"She's too flighty. I never could get a clear read of her, and I don't like watching her feed. It's possible."
"Emmett?" Carlisle nudged.
"Look Pop, I know you don't like killing. I was there when you were crazy enough and brave enough to offer a treaty to a pack of shapeshifters. I know how much you treasure life and how much I let you down each time I slipped."
Carlisle went to object, but Emmett put up his hand stopping him.
"You're compassionate and gentle and kind. Instead of seeing the number of humans I've killed, you see my struggle and every day that I haven't ended a human's life. So, please hear me when I tell you that these creatures that we observed are the modern version of the wraiths of your sewers," he said his tone deep and passionate.
Other than when he has said his vows I was hard pressed to find other instances of him speaking in such a way.
"They are the worst of the worst. They are young and arrogant and haughty and believe themselves superior. If that were not enough, they are defiant and entitled. I don't tell you lightly that they deserve to be ended and the humans they are no doubt torturing deserve to be defended. We need to do something. Bottom line for me: it's us or them at this point. But also Pop, they are the very thing you lost your human life to, that you tried to rid the planet of."
Carlisle watched Emmett carefully evaluating him. Their relationship was very different from Carlisle and Edward's, but Carlisle meant a lot to Emmett and he respected him immensely. Nothing was said between them, but eventually Carlisle moved his chin down indicating that he had heard Emmett.
Then he turned slightly. "Rosalie?"
She shuddered again. "I know how you feel about killing, Carlisle, but those creatures weren't to be reasoned with. They were feral. With their numbers," she paused momentary before continuing, "I'm not a strategist. I'm not Jasper, but I think ending them would be a mercy. Merciful to them and to the random humans that they are feeding on."
Carlisle looked at me.
"Our first priority is the safety of our family, then to humans, and then to honouring our treaty."
Carlisle's shoulders sagged, but he looked determined. "In that case, go ahead and create some possible scenarios, Jasper. Let us not be hasty, however correct in your assessment you might be, and paint them all with the same brush. Let us at least leave open the possibility that one or two might not be like the rest."
Jasper nodded that he would do as Carlisle requested even if he vehemently disagreed.
After barely a pause Carlisle continued, "Esme raised a valid point about the treaty. We're scheduled to meet up with the Quileutes tomorrow tonight. What would your views be on telling the Quileutes what we know about the threat?" he asked generally and then turned to Jasper.
"I'd rather say nothing. We cannot predict what they would do with the information," Jasper replied briskly obviously already had given thought about this.
Carlisle looked at Alice.
"I can't see an outcome."
"I still want your opinion," Carlisle pressed her.
"I could see the possibility of the numbers working in our favour." She frowned. "Assuming that they wouldn't take a chunk out of us in the process."
Carlisle nodded at her, waited a second to see if she had more to add, and then looked at Rosalie.
"Added muscle wouldn't hurt, but their stench is foul and they're young. They would be untrained and arrogant."
"Nah, we don't need any added muscle. I got enough here," Emmett joked without Carlisle's prompting him. "I'd hate to need to watch my back or cover for them. We can take these newborns. We've got Jasper after all, the greatest Southern warrior to survive." Then Emmett laughed mightily at his own joke.
It was infectious. We chuckled with him.
"Esme?" Carlisle asked.
"We should tell them, but I think we should share only enough for them to prepare in case they need to protect their lands."
He pondered our input and then turned to Jasper, "If I were to warn them, would you object?"
Jasper pondered that for a few minutes. "There's a risk, but if it could strengthen our ties so that they could assist if necessary, and kept the information minimal, it would be worth it," he stated. "If nothing else, it would give us a good read on where they stand so we can plan accordingly."
"Any objections, then, to inform them of the numbers and possible affiliation with Victoria and Laurent?"
No one objected.
"How is Bella sleeping?" Carlisle asked Jasper.
"Fittfully," he replied. "Just about the time I've get the right cocktail she ups the anty. I can't tell if my gift is helping her process whatever is causing her nightmares or if it's just making it worse."
"But she is sleeping more?" Carlisle checked.
"Yes," was Jasper's curt reply.
"And Bella does look better," Alice added. "Jazz is frustrated that she continues to out manoeuvre him at times, in her sleep at that," she paused looking lovingly into his eyes and something passing between them, "but at school each day she's better. Her eyes are clearer, she it seems like her memory is returning to how it was before we left, she seems to be more present, and is looking less deathly."
"Would it be bothersome to you for you to continue assisting her at night?" Carlisle asked Jasper.
"It's the least that I owe her for trying to take a nip," he answered stoically, but his shoulders had sagged.
Carlisle studied Jasper. Presumably seeing what he needed he asked Alice, Jasper, and I "Any ideas about what her dreams entail?"
"When she said 'Don't leave me,' that first night it was almost as if she was running after someone, and she screamed 'Edward'. A few times she has muttered something that sounds like 'not good enough' but I can't say for sure," Alice reported before turning to me.
"I don't know humans well enough or Bella well enough to add anything helpful," I told them.
"Does this have anything to do with her cliff diving," Emmett asked concerned.
Presumably Carlisle had told Emmett and Rosalie about that since we hadn't had a chance to discuss it fully as a family yet.
We all looked at him in curiosity.
"What?" he asked defensively. "Bella isn't sleeping right, not eating enough, seemed to have gotten through the last months while being out of it, rode a motorcycle, and then jumped off a cliff. I'm just trying to connect the dots." Then he crossed his arms and pouted like we had ganged up on him.
Then one by one we all, bar Rosalie, looked at Carlisle expectantly.
He sighed before beginning, "I took a look at her file. She was prescribed a sleeping aid, but that doesn't mean she's taking it. The report stated that she was found in a catatonic state the day Edward and I left. According to Bella she jumped off the cliff to feel alive. Perhaps the catatonia that she experienced has left lingering affects to her mood and emotional state." Then he looked at Jasper.
"The few times that we've gotten there before she has fallen asleep her feelings are unpleasant. Her pain, heartache, sense of unworthiness, and fear would cripple anyone."
"I think Rosalie's correct. I think that Edward told her something that has deeply affected her," I put in.
"Is there anything we can do?" Alice pleaded with Carlisle.
"Truthfully Alice what she needs is proper nutrition, good sleep, and someone to speak to about what's troubling her. We are attempting to provide all three. For now continue to do those things and we shall see."
Our gloomy expressions made it clear that we didn't like how powerless we were to improve things more quickly.
"Jasper, could you have some tentative plans by six a.m. I need to leave by seven-thirty."
"Sure, Carlisle," Jasper affirmed.
"Thank you. Anything else?" Carlisle asked us all.
We all shook our heads in the negative.
Carlisle rose most likely heading to his office.
"Rosalie?" I asked softly.
She looked up at me.
"You haven't had a chance to get some new things for the spring. I was hoping to take you tomorrow up to Victoria or, if you'd rather, we could go to Vancouver."
She paused for a moment. "Victoria sounds good."
"Let's leave here at nine. The ferry leaves Port Angeles at ten-thirty."
"Sure, Mom."
I turned to Alice. "Do you need us to drop you off at school?"
"No, I'll take the Jeep, if Emmett can spare it."
He smiled widely. "It's all yours."
She grinned at him. "Thanks."
"Anytime sis."
The whole meeting I had tried to keep my terror their report had conjured tempered down for Jasper's sake, but as I rose to find Carlisle I couldn't help the feeling of ominous dread that threatened to consume me as if our lives had already been counted forfeit.
A/N: I have to give kiwihipp an extra shout out for reading Chapter 10 after I had posted it and pointing out my errors. Hope you enjoyed. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
