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(Updated 25 Feb 18)


Chapter 12: Protecting What You Love


As I walked into Carlisle's office, he looked up at me asking, "What may I do for you, my darling Miss Platt?" as if he knew, without me having to say, that I needed his wisdom.

The way his eyes shone with adoration even after all these years was thrilling, and spoke to me in the depth of my being. We had gone through so much as a couple these past months that a part of me wanted to answer that I needed to go back to Newfoundland and have him all to myself. Holding his gaz,e I had to believe that our love and faith would get us through what lay ahead, and that perhaps, even sometime in the future, things could be calm enough for us to go the island he had purchased for me, bask in the sun, worship each other, and just be. It was a wonderful fantasy, but not the reason I had come into his office.

"I was hoping I could use some of your centuries long knowledge of humans," I said in a teasing manner.

"Bella?" he asked sadly.

"Yes," I agreed while exhaling slightly in a very human expression of my frustration. I didn't have Jasper's gift, or Alice's, but helping Bella was something I might have a chance of influencing."I want to spend more time with her, but I'm not sure how long is appropriate to go between visits. I also do not know what to do with her, since she is hesitant to come to our home. Can you advise me, oh dear doctor?" By the end I was smiling, enjoying being playful with him in the mist of the seriousness of my inquiry.

"Call her and ask her regarding the frequency of visiting. As far as I have ever seen, there's no set rule. Every human is different. Some talk to their loved ones and friends every day they are in the hospital while others don't at all. It appears to be personal preference and the strength of the bond. The other is trickier, since Edward always said that she was reluctant to accept gifts. Taking her out to coffee might work. I often hear the staff saying that to one another. Too bad you can't just ask Alice what she would agree to," he teased me.

"Yes, too bad," I playfully sulked, but I doubt he missed the fear in my eyes. "Do you have a few hours to spare, Dr Cullen?"

"Always for you, Miss Platt," he replied as I saw fear in his eyes.

"Let's go run for a bit," I suggested softly offering my hand.

He nodded. Hands joined together we left the house through the window in his study, and found some trees in which to sit in, while we talked about our children.

"I am afraid, Carlisle," I admitted after we had talked through the semantics of things.

He pondered for a moment before telling me, "I have this incredible woman in my life who keeps insisting that the answer is hope and faith."

"With our lives?" I checked my fear coating my words.

"Is there another way?" he asked sorrowful and scared.

Looking out at the forest, I contemplated the reality of his statement. What would my hope and faith mean if it didn't include our lives? I could choose fear to be my primary emotion or I could choose hope and faith.

"Wasn't it love casts out fear or something like that?" I asked him trying to hold onto something to combat my urge to run.

"Something like that," he nuzzled into me a smile filling his face.

"I'm struggling, Carlisle," I admitted after silence had enveloped us.

"So am I," he confessed. "Even with your tale. I understand it. In my mind it is clear, but the living it is challenging. For all these years, I have seen myself as a man of reason. Your imaginings forced me to look at what I had lost from not following my heart, from not listening to the heart of the matter. Now I am filled with the full strength of feelings I cannot even name." Long minutes passed before he continued, "I don't want to lose anyone, either, Esme. I can't imagine life without even one of them. But we are here to make amends for my mistake of listening to my fears instead of me having faith. I am only sorry that my lessons are costing this family so much."

I snuggled up into him at a loss for words that might comfort him.

"I can tell you the words, Esme. But I would be lying if I didn't acknowledge that I'm struggling to put it into practice. Everything inside of me tells me to take my family and run to safety. I ran to keep you human; I ran with Edward to keep him and humans safe; when there has been a slip, my first response is to run. Perhaps it is the fight or flight response from our humans years exaggerated. Jasper and Emmett seem to respond by wanting to fight and Edward and I respond by flight. I cannot say for sure, but what is clear to me now is that running would be the wrong thing to do in this case, for the people in Seattle, for the Quileutes, for Bella's future, and for the lessons being taught to us. In my head, I know this. I have no doubt, but letting my heart lead and having faith are new concepts to me. I promise you, though, my darling beloved, that I am working on it."

I allowed his words to wash over me and strengthen me. We were afraid, but we would do the right thing, even if it cost us everything. And we would do it together. It went against my sense of self-preservation, but it was the right thing to do.

"Carlisle?" I asked timidly.

"Yes, my love?" he replied encouraging me in his tone.

"Have you thought about changing Bella?"

His body folded onto mine. "Yes, I intend to speak with her about the matter when she's stronger emotionally."

Turning my face up to his, I kissed him with all my strength. "Thank you," I said my voice full of joy, love, and compassion knowing that this was a great concession on his part considering his beliefs. "You are the good husband and father," I told him in hopes that he would see his strengths in this choice rather than the costs that he might dwell upon.

He smiled sadly and brought my hand to his mouth and kissed it.

We stayed out in the forest till he needed to get back. He still wanted to write in his journal before he left for the day. I didn't get a chance to show him my paintings, but there was always tomorrow.

Changing my clothes, I went and sat listening to Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, and Alice exchange ideas of how to get the information necessary on the unwelcomed coven in Seattle, while making sure everyone in our family walked away in one piece.

Carlisle came down at six and listened to what they had come up with so far.

"Work on how to get the information we need without exposure of our involvement," was his marching orders before he left for work.

As he walked out the door, the four kids all watched him leave as if he had never left before.

"What kind of mojo did you work on him?" Jasper asked me surprised, which seemed to shake them out of whatever shock they had been in.

I looked at him confused at his question.

Jasper just shook his head.

"About time," was all that Rosalie muttered.

Emmett smirked and Alice beamed, then they all started working on Carlisle's instructions.

Certainly, he had sounded the least diplomatic in that moment than he had ever been, but his words hadn't surprised me. He knew information retrieval wasn't his expertise and he was doing what he always did: trusting in the expertise of others. It was one of the things that made him a good leader. Wasn't it? What stopped me from dismissing it outright was Jasper's comment, which had suggested that there was something emotionally going along with Carlisle's words and tone that had caught Jasper by surprise. I would have to ask Carlisle about it when he got home.

Not long after Alice headed off to school, Rosalie went to change, and we left to go shopping. We settled into a nice chat about her and Emmett's travels.

"Want to talk about it?" I asked her after we were off the ferry, as I caught her in another moment of being lost in thought.

After a few minutes she turned to me. "It was awful, Esme, the worst kind of predatory behaviour. It was reminiscent of Royce's gang actually, the brutality, the top dog making the rules, while the peons fight each other for scraps, all of it, only worse somehow. I have never been as grateful to be a Cullen. There are many days that I curse Royce and am angry at what Carlisle made me into, but strangely enough, as each hour of hearing those brutes passed I became more and more appreciative that it was Carlisle who found me and not some other foul creature who wanted me for a meal or worse."

Pulling over into the shoulder and bring the car to a standstill, I pulled her into my arms. "Oh, honey. I cannot imagine."

We stayed like that for quite a while until I felt Rosalie begin to retreat from me. I moved back slightly keeping my hands on her arms.

"Strange as this might sound," she whispered as if it pained her to utter the words, "it gave me perspective and made me think about what you said when you shared your tale. I began to realize that when Carlisle bit me he did what he thought was best. He might have been wrong, but he held no ill intent. He has treated me kindly, even when I haven't been kind to him, he taught me his ways, has kept me safe, and changed Emmett for me." She smiled at the last part tenderly. Straightening her features she continued, "my life isn't what I thought it would be, but then whose is? I have Emmett. I have a safe, warm, loving home. Things could be much worse. I could have been one of them." Then lowering her voice so that I almost didn't hear the words it sounded like she said, "How did Jazz survive, and not turn out to be a true creature of nightmares?"

Ignoring her comment about Jasper, since I had often wondered the same thing, I looked at her earnestly and told her, "Rose, you are blessed. But being blessed doesn't make your life easy. Then again, life isn't easy. Even if you had gotten what you imagined in your human life, it might have made you unhappy. There's no way to know. I lived for years with a man who believed me to be his property. Who is to say if marrying Royce wouldn't have made your life worse?"

She hung her head no doubt remembering past times when I had said something similar.

"We can't live our life in the sorrow of what might have been," I told her.

Perhaps this time my words would get through to her.

"How did you think I could have forgiven Carlisle for leaving me at sixteen without letting go of the past and seeing his intentions?"

My eyes dropped as I felt the hurt over his choice surface, however slight.

"Oh, Esme, I never thought about that," Rosalie told me sounding truly apologetic.

Withdrawing from her and straightening up, I started back up the car. "It's okay, Rose. I can sympathise with the desire to hold onto the anger. But, maybe, enough time has gone by for you to let it go. Maybe, in this case, change would be for the better."

She seemed reluctant to accept my words.

"Truly Rose," I reiterated. "I forgive and move on because I choose to focus my emotions and attention on what I do have and protect it fiercely." Pausing I decided she needed some encouragement, as she appeared out of the corner of my eye unusually withdrawn. Turning towards her with absolute certainty, I told her, "You are a strong fighter, Rose, stronger than me in many ways. Let it go as much as you are able and cling to the gifts you have been given. We'll get through this together as a family. We have each other. That is what we have and they don't."

She nodded saying nothing. We travelled the rest of the way in silence as she seemed to need to have some time to think.

When we arrived at the mall we focused on clothes and shoes all remnants of our previous conversation gone.

The day was a success. Rosalie found some items she wanted, and was able to garnish the attention from all the gawkers at the mall. Since her awakening, it had seemed that she needed strangers' attention to remind herself of her strength. Best of all, we had enjoyed each other's company. As we headed back to Forks she chattered on about what she had done to my car, its pros and cons, why she had chosen this model and brand, and what she thought she might study this upcoming year at college when suddenly she halted her jabbering.

"What about Bella?" she asked as if deep in thought.

"What about her, Rosalie?" I asked cautiously unsure of where her mind was.

"Should she know about the army possibly created for her destruction?" she asked slowly as if she wasn't sure of even the question.

While seriously considering was she had voiced, I grew upset with myself that the possibility of telling Bella had never crossed my mind previously. In fairness, Rosalie had a point, even if her frankness might have left something to be desired. It also highlighted to me how I saw Bella as needing protection in a way that Rose didn't.

"What would you want if you were in her shoes?" I asked hoping her answer would help me clarify my conflicted and tangled thoughts.

Rosalie paused seemingly in deep reflection before she answered. "I would have wanted to know that there were monsters hidden waiting to strike, and that everything wasn't as fine as it appeared." Then her voice dropped. "I would have wanted to know the truth rather than to live my life in ignorance."

I suspected that her answer had much more to do with her past, rather than Bella's present. She remembered her human life far better than I did. Would I have wanted to know that behind the charms of Charles lay a monster who would beat me black and blue?

"I would have wanted to know as well, even if it never changed anything. I would have wanted to be warned," I concluded voicing my support.

Rosalie nodded affirmatively.

Miles passed in silence as we both were lost our own musings. Upon exiting Port Angeles I collected my thoughts and turned towards her, "Like you, Rose, Bella doesn't like to feel weak. In this situation there's nothing she can do but trust us to take care of it. That will be a challenge for her."

She briefly paused before retorting, "Harder than being left in the dark and perhaps finding out later you were lied to for your own good?" She was nearly snarling by the end.

"No, not at all," I told her soothingly while I put a hand on her arm to help calm her reaction. "I simply wish things were different. That is all."

"Well, if I had known the redhead was going to be such a menace, I would have made a better effort to get rid of her," she growled frustrated.

I tightened my grip slightly while reminding her, "We did our best. We couldn't have known."

"Yeah," she huffed the fire in her retreating. "I know. Still makes me mad," she admitted sounding downcast.

"Me too, Rose. Me too. That's why I want to learn to fight better, so if there's ever a next time, you and me could take on whoever dares threaten our family."

She smiled menacingly. "Yes, we will."

"However will we convince the boys and Alice?" I asked her curious if she had a plan.

"Leave it to me," she insisted.

"I can't wait," I replied in truth. Rosalie was a force to be reckoned with as much if not more so than any of the others when she wanted to be. She just usually chose to stay on the sidelines throwing in her two cents when it suited her. Clearly this mattered to her if she was willing to get into the thick of it.

Shortly afterwards, she went back to her chattering making her truly seem eighteen. It was always nice to spend time just with Rosalie and get to see this side of her.

We got home to find Alice and the boys just as we had left them.

"Did you go to school, Alice?" I wondered.

"Of course, Mom," she replied whining a bit.

Raising my eyebrow at her tone she informed me more seriously, "Bella had to work today." Then after a brief pause told me, "You should call her. She has to work some this weekend, though. Saturday afternoon would be good. There's a fair chance that the four of us will be going to Seattle again Saturday through to Sunday. Although, I don't see us finding them where they last were. They might have moved, and I can't see where."

Rosalie came in after finishing putting away her new purchases and placing in the laundry room the pile of her older stuff that she no longer wanted.

"I assume we will be discussing this as a family, Alice," I warned.

"Yes, of course, as soon as Carlisle gets home," she replied as if my reprimand was silly. "And then we're going to train until tomorrow."

Her comments never even slowed Emmett's and Jasper's conversation about where the newborns might have moved as they evaluated maps and police reports.

"All right then dear. Let me go call Bella. I'll be right back," I let her know.

"Later," she huffed. "She told me that she won't get off till six tonight."

I smiled at Alice's irritation grateful that it meant she was being stretched. "Thank you, Alice. I appreciate you relaying that to me."

She scowled but nodded.

Sitting down I listened to them attempt to narrow down possibilities. "What kind of place would they be looking for?" I asked Jasper after listening for over an hour.

He paused shortly and then replied, "A place in town that is abandoned in a crime area where they won't be noticed or a little out of town where neighbours are far enough away."

"So, something that's boarded up?" I checked.

"Yes, or like a barn, or something like that."

"What about basements?" I wondered out loud.

Jasper tilted his head at me his eyes unfocused probably lost in his thoughts.

"The properties that I prefer to purchase, intending to fix them, are often too old to have basements, sometimes cellar, but not basements, and many of the locations that work for us have too high of a water table to suit basements, but that house in Maine had one, although it was quite small, so that wouldn't have worked," I yammered.

"Yes, Esme, I remember what a basement is, I just couldn't believe that I hadn't thought of that already," Jasper grumbled.

"Not many basements in the south I bet," I pointed out. "Nor at the time you would have scouted for appropriate hiding locations."

"That's true," Jasper confirmed slightly smiling at me.

"Maybe all my history of architecture is coming in handy," I teased.

Jasper grinned at me, Emmett looked at me funny, Rosalie looked pleased, and Alice beamed.

"That helped a lot, Esme," Alice proclaimed. "We'll find them in a detached house with trees on three sides, two levels that I can see, large home, with a porch. They've trashed the house."

By the time Carlisle had come home, they had narrowed their potential searches down significantly.

They filled in Carlisle while I stepped into the other room and called Bella.

She answered on the third ring.

"Good evening Bella," I greeted her.

"Oh, hi Esme," she replied sounding slightly hesitant and confused.

"How has school been this week?" I asked trying to ease into the conversation.

"Fine," she told me but there was no emotion in it like her answer was automatic.

"Did Alice behave herself?" I inquired trying a different tact.

She giggled in a way that she hadn't before. It was high pitched and sounded unnatural for her. "She did," she said her laughing abruptly ending. "It was nice to have her there, actually."

"I'm glad. I have a confession to make, though," I told her with a light banter.

"Oh?" she asked seeming truly curious.

"Yes," I confirmed. "I was calling because I miss you and was hoping we could spend some time together after your shift tomorrow. I thought maybe a coffee shop or something in Port Angeles. You could order. I could hold a cup of coffee in my hands."

She chuckled sounding more like her old self. "I'd like that. I'm scheduled at Newton's until two."

"Shall I pick you up at work then?"

"Sure, I'll meet you in the parking lot. I might be late," she warned me. "Sometimes I get caught with a customer."

"That's fine dear," I assured her.

"Tell everyone else hi for me," she requested quietly as if she was uncertain of stating this simply thing.

"I will," I promised wanting to encourage her to continue asking for what she needed. "You know our home is open for you whenever you're ready," I reminded her gently unsure how much I should push.

She sighed sadly. "I know, Esme."

"Good," I replied letting it go. "I'll see you tomorrow sometime after two."

"See you then."

Going back to the war room, I continued to listen trying to see if there was a means in which I could be helpful. At the rate it was going the discussion would take hours, so I wasn't sure how much they would get accomplished before we needed to head out. When Carlisle got home he joined us adding small things every once in a while. Mostly, though he seemed to listen and to contemplate.

"We need to leave in order to meet the Quiluetes," Carlisle announced about twenty minutes before the agreed upon meeting time. "Let us resume this after our sparing practice."

Everyone nodded and reluctantly began heading to our meeting. As was customary for us, we were fifteen minutes early. Carlisle liked being punctual, but Jasper preferred to arrive before anyone else so that he could get a sense of things. Since Jasper had joined us, Carlisle had agreed to give Jasper this small precautionary step. Usually over the last fifty years Alice's visions gave enough warning of visitors that Jasper was satisfied.

As we heard a car nearing us in the distance, we moved into a slight V formation. Carlisle was in front with me on his right, Emmett next to me and Rosalie next to him, then Jasper on Carlisle's left and Alice next to Jasper. The sight of Jasper standing where Edward would have usually stood tugged at my heart. I missed him even more upon the realization that he wouldn't be hearing the wolves thoughts like he had when we had met Ephraim. Jasper must have picked up on my ache and sent a cocktail which had his usual calm, but then a touch of sympathy and understanding.

"Thank you," I murmured and Carlisle squeezed my hand briefly before releasing it.

It didn't take long before Billy Black could be seen being carried by a large tall man with cut off shorts.

"Shall we sit?" Carlisle offered once they were standing across from us on the other side of the creek.

I could feel a touch of Jasper's reluctance and irritation, but we did as Carlisle had suggested.

The tall man placed Billy on the ground and then stepped back standing with his arms crossed like a bodyguard.

Two wolves could be seen sitting on their haunches right within the tree line.

From the tenor I touched from Jasper, the sight of the wolves impressed him.

"Thank you for taking the time for this exchange. We continue to value living in harmony with all sentient creatures that surround us and upholding the words we forged with your ancestor Ephraim Black," Carlisle began. "As a sign of good faith we would like to share information with you regarding some traditional vampires hunting in Seattle."

Billy looked outraged, but simply nodded. After a moment and some deep breaths Billy appeared calmer and spoke. "This is Sam Uley, alpha of the protectors and thus chief of the tribe according to the old traditions. However, for now, Sam has requested that I continue to speak on behalf of our tribe as Ephraim's descendent."

"We are pleased to meet your acquaintance Sam Uley, alpha of the protectors. I appreciate your willingness to continue honouring the treaty forged with the protectors of the past."

Sam nodded in recognition of Carlisle's words, but said nothing.

After a moment more to see if Sam would speak, Carlisle continued, "A few of us went to Seattle due to increased number of reported deaths and missing persons reports. I did not go due to my work schedule, thus my son Jasper will share what was found."

Crisply, in a slightly slow human pace, Jasper stated, "We found a coven of newly made traditional vampires in Seattle. We estimate the number of their coven to be nine."

Both Billy and Sam looked disturbed. Billy whistled lowly, and looked into the sky. It was a movement I had seen Carlisle do before, and had to wonder if Billy was praying. When he appeared to have collected his thoughts he looked at Carlisle. "Our legends speak of one traveller or two together."

"Nine is unusual," Carlisle agreed, "along with them being new. Usually only one is made new at a time, as the maker is required to train the youngling to keep the laws."

Billy looked startled. After a minute or two he asked, "What happens to the maker if a law is broken?"

"Usually the maker and the youngling are destroyed by our version of police, but there are exceptions as unique situations are taken into account," Carlisle answered.

It looked like the wheels in Billy's head were working hard. Watching Billy made me miss Edward even more.

"If your police came to Seattle, would they come into our territory?" Billy asked his voice unusually low.

"They might pay me a visit," Carlisle answered. "I lived with them for some decades before I had a family. It has been customary for them to do so over the years," he added.

After a few moments taking in that information Billy asked, "Is this coven in Seattle a danger to us?"

"We cannot say for certain, but possibly," Carlisle replied.

"And the police?" he pressed.

"They know my beliefs, and have respected them in the past," Carlisle answered.

"We can do nothing, then," Billy seemed to decide after a long stretch of silence.

"Understandable," Carlisle replied sounding slightly disappointed by Billy's response, but I doubted Billy would be able to hear it.

I wondered if the wolves could hear the nuances in our tones that humans could not.

Then Carlisle continued, "Nevertheless, Seattle is close enough to be of grave concern, and the coincidence of their proximity seems too unlikely to suggest that their presence is random."

"Nine you said?" Billy confirmed after a pause.

Carlisle's tone was calmer once more. "Jasper estimates up to nine."

"If they come here, we have the ability to protect ourselves" Billy stated proudly. "We don't need your assistance on this matter."

"I understand your position, although if they were to come, three protectors against nine is terrible odds," Carlisle replied, frustration slightly evident in his tone, even though the tone also indicated that he had expected Billy Black's answer.

"Nevertheless, our position remains the same," he retorted tersely.

Carlisle nodded in acceptance.

After a few silent moments had passed, Billy said seemingly though his teeth, "Thank you for your act of good will." Then he paused dramatically. "As a show of our good will," he continued, although his face was reddening as if the words were painful to him, "we would like to inform you that a red-eyed vampire was found in your land while you were absent."

Carlisle nodded for him to continue.

"In protection of Bella he was trapped, torn apart, and burnt."

Carlisle's neutral face remained, although his muscles tensed up. "Thank you for protecting Bella," he told them genuinely. "Could you describe him for us?"

Billy looked up at Sam, then Sam spoke. Sam's voice reminded me of Ephraim's in some ways. "Darker complexion than you, red-eyes with some gold flecks, dreadlocks, and when he spoke to Bella he seemed to have an accent. She called him Laurent."

"Thank you," Carlisle offered Sam after a respectful pause. "He was a member of the coven that attacked Bella and our family last spring. We ended one member, the coven leader. The third member is a red-haired female."

Sam grunted, "We have run her off."

"Thank you for sharing that," Carlisle replied courteously. He seemed to pause possibly to consider how much he wanted to say, our family's discussion of what to tell the Quiluetes likely running through his head. "We appreciate the increased risk your tribe has taken on to protect the townspeople of Forks." Turning to Billy he added, "We would like to propose an offering of gratitude for this act."

Billy blanched and Sam frowned.

"An offering?" Billy muttered under his breath in disbelief. After long minutes he looked back at Carlisle calculating, "Like what?"

"At the close of the treaty with Ephraim we presented food and bear, lion, and elk fur," Carlisle stated.

Billy scowled. "A girl's life cannot be bought," he stated firmly.

"That is not our intention," Carlisle said offended at the remark, although hiding it fairly well.

Billy scowled once more. "You are not in our debt. She is the daughter of my best friend. We protect our own."

"We too care for her and would like to demonstrate our gratitude," Carlisle insisted.

Billy continued to scowl and I grew more still in greater apprehension as the time went on.

"What if we did something?" I suggested to Carlisle in a low murmur. "They are a proud and noble people," I reminded him being as quiet with my sounds as I could.

"My wife has suggested that we offer our services," Carlisle stated pride shining through his words after only a moment's pause. "My daughter Rosalie is a mechanic. My wife is a cook and home designer. My other daughter Alice is a clothing designer. And I, of course, would be honoured to offer my medical services."

"You are not welcomed on our land," Billy retorted.

"Forks is neutral territory," Carlisle replied.

Then Billy looked at Sam. A look exchanged between them.

How I wished Edward were with us and could later tell us about that particular exchange.

Sam shrugged and then after a pause said, "We're not removing the ban, and I'd rather not agree."

Billy nodded and turned back to us.

Their exchange was baffling. However, we were probably as confusing to them as they were to us.

"An offering is unnecessary," Billy replied, his tone less harsh, though. "We no longer adhere to the old ways upon meetings with outsiders. I thought I had made that clear upon our first conversation."

"I am an old man," Carlisle said holding in a smile. "Old ways die hard for me. I have honoured your request, as Ephraim's descendant. Surely, however, your tribe's efforts to keep Bella and Charlie safe are circumstances that require the old ways."

Billy grumbled. "Fine, we will allow this one occurrence, although I will repeat that I think this is unnecessary."

Carlisle nodded as if acknowledging Billy's reluctance.

My clever husband and worn him down. I was proud, but managed to maintain my neutral expression.

"We will agree to bring you vehicles that tribe members might need repaired through the end of the year or until you leave, whichever occurs first. There will be no more than two of you in a shop of your choosing in neutral territory. Any tribal member will be accompanied by at least one protector. The car owner will pay for the parts. In exchange for your offering of gratitude we will continue to guard Bella and Charlie on our land and on neutral territory when possible."

"Rosalie?" Carlisle asked gently his concern for her coming through.

Personally the fact that he hadn't limited the number of protectors that could show up when we could have no more than Rose and one other was disconcerting. Hopefully having a human tribal member would keep the protectors in check, since they guarded their secrets as we guarded ours.

"Yes," she stated briskly.

"We are agreed," Carlisle replied, clearly relieved.

"The seventh among you will be staying away?" Billy asked after a moment.

"That is our expectation," Carlisle informed him.

Billy grunted, but said nothing else.

A lengthy pause ensued until Carlisle told them, "Thank you for how you honour the treaty and Ephraim. We were honoured to know him," as a way of closing the meeting.

Billy grunted in acknowledgement, but said nothing. He looked back at Sam who picked him up and they headed back to the truck.

Once the sound of the vehicle leaving the area could be heard, we all turned and ran to the field. As we did Carlisle held my hand, but his face looked fallen.

Squeezing his hand, I whispered to him, "Not everyone sees the world as you do. It will take time for them to come around. We must remember that just as the wolves are young, so is the tribal leaders in knowing how to handle such matters. You got them to accept an offering. You should be proud of your accomplishment. I am."

Some of the disappointment faded from his eyes. "Of course, you are right my love."

As we all ran to the field I felt sad for a moment remembering that Edward would have beaten us all, if he had been there.

By the time we reached the field my excitement and nervousness to learn how to improve my fighting skills, so that I might better protect my Bella if I was going to be alone with her, was strong.

Despite the hopeful expectations that I saw in varying degrees on my family's features, we also all looked staggeringly shocked.

"Let's focus on training, and we can discuss what transpired at the meeting with the Quileutes later. I suspect that what Jasper has to share will help us all," Carlisle said, which changed the mood.

We all looked at Jasper in expectation that he would save us from our astonishment over what had just been revelled regarding Laurent and Victoria. Jasper's continence changed and the military man he used to be shined through. He explained how newborns are basically power and muscle, but not very smart about things. Then he had Carlisle go against Emmett first.

Watching them was interesting. It didn't take long for me to see that Carlisle was a skilled fighter, probably not as good as Jasper, but still would be able to hold his own, if needed. Yet, he refused to beat Emmett. After some time had passed, Emmett was getting more and more frustrated. "Too old, Pop? Don't have it in you anymore?" he jeered.

Jasper stared at Carlisle intently. Shortly after Emmett was pinned.

When Carlisle stood up his gaze at Jasper would be best described as a dressing down, but Jasper didn't look admonished at all. In fact, he almost looked haughty.

Then Jasper had Rosalie go against Emmett. She pinned him easily. I had to wonder if some of her ease against Emmett was Emmett's refusal to do anything that might hurt Rosalie.

Then it was my turn.

Emmett was behind me holding my arm, his mouth inches from my neck almost as soon as we started. Good thing it was Emmett, because I would have otherwise been terrified.

Once Emmett and I separated, Jasper came near me. "Esme, I know it's hard for you to see Emmett as an enemy," Jasper told me softly while sending me encouragement, "but try to imagine that this is a wild feral creature, or perhaps even James, if that helps, coming to get Bella. The only thing stopping Bella from dying is you."

My eyes grew large at the image he was trying to paint. I didn't like it at all, but I could see the wisdom in what he was trying to do, so I accepted his suggestion despite my internal protests to see Emmett in such a way.

Then he nodded at Emmett, and Emmett barrowed at me.

This time I could see Emmett coming and got out of the way in time. He came at me again. By his fifth run at me I realized that he was fairly predictable. It was like watching the ballet, as long as you paid attention, it wasn't too difficult to predict where the ballerina would land. Then I had to just not be where he would be. After a while Jasper stopped us.

He came over and muttered in my ear, "Just try and get your teeth near his wrist."

I nodded and we began again. This time I added Jasper's instruction to my intention of not getting caught. Patiently I waited for the right moment to strike. Unfortunately, when I took a gander my teeth got too close.

"Sheesh, Esme," Emmett muttered as soon as my teeth had touched his skin ripping into him.

Immediately stopping my actions, I reached out hesitantly to Emmett feeling horrid and repeated over and over, "I'm so sorry."

Before I could touch Emmett, Carlisle was at my side. I had ripped off a slight amount of the top layer of Emmett's wrist, but there was no venom, so it would heal easily. Then Carlisle wrapped me into his embrace whispering platitudes.

After a few minutes me still upset, Emmett came closer to me. When I looked into his eyes he insisted, "Mom, it's fine, not even a scratch," while placing it in front of me like a badge of honour. He was right, even when I looked carefully, I could not see anything more than what might be described as a scratch.

Looking at him I smile slightly, trying to hide how guilty I felt.

Rosalie came over joining us. She stood stiffly on the other side from Carlisle closest to Emmett reaching across us to take his other hand into hers. "It's fine, Mom, really. Neither Emmett nor I are upset with you. Maybe it'll even teach that lug a thing or two," she whispered softly to me.

She and Carlisle shared a look and then she pulled Emmett away.

The training started again while Carlisle just kept me in his arms. Nothing more was said between us. Eventually I realized that I was keeping Carlisle from learning what Jasper could teach him. I shooed Carlisle away, despite his protests, and moved away from the centre of the field deciding that I would watch instead, since I was unwilling to try again. How was I ever going to learn if I hurt my family in the process? The despondency, sense of failure, and deep seated fear that Bella could die because of me was bit by bit consuming me as the time went on.

While Rosalie and Carlisle were sparring Jasper came over to me. "You did really well, Esme," he told me his sincerity clear as he sent me affection, courage, and removed some of the intensity from my negative feelings.

"I hurt him, Jasper," I whispered to him. Certainly Jasper had picked up how upset and ashamed I still felt.

"Not really," he disputed matter-of-factly. "He's fine and he's proud of his wound."

I looked at Jasper unsure.

"He's always been a little jealous of my scars," he whispered conspiratorially. "Even the first time he met me. He sees them as badges on honour. He wants to show that he can protect Rose and the family." After a brief pause he continued. "Esme, fighting is ruthless and difficult. I could feel your determination. Just use that protective mother bear nature of yours and don't stop to count the cost until everyone you love is safe," he advised. Lowering his voice so that his words barely reached me he told me, "Esme, you are loving by nature. Let that love overcome your fear and rest assured that you would do everything in your power to keep Bella and every other member of this family safe."

I nodded letting him know that his words had been received. Hopefully he also knew that I had no words in return in order to articulate my conflicting thoughts or feelings. Perhaps this was how Carlisle felt every time we stood as a family to defend ourselves, his compassion at war with his desire to keep us safe. The thought that Carlisle and I might be alike in this way warmed me, soothed me, and in that moment I fell in love with my husband a little bit more.

Carlisle's and Rosalie's match went on for quite a while. As I watched, it seemed that Carlisle could have taken Rosalie at a number of opportunities but hadn't. I had to admit that even though Carlisle didn't like fighting, watching him against Rose assured me that he was fairly skilled, even against a more cunning and less predictable fighter than Emmett. I wondered if he ever had to fight to protect himself before Edward had come into his life. I had never thought to ask. The problem was that I couldn't imagine Carlisle as anything but mild mannered and diplomatic. Had that been different when he was a nomad? Had my imagining of him not done him justice? It was an interesting thought to ponder. No matter what he might have been like before having a family, I was pleased to know that my husband could take care of himself, if he ever needed to. Then I felt silly at the thought. He had kept himself alive for two-hundred years before I came into his life.

Despite the match showed clearer and clearer Carlisle's capacity to end it, it continued. Was his hesitation to show that he could best Rosalie due to her being a girl? That she was his daughter? Because of his relationship with Rosalie? Or was it some arrangement he and Jasper had made for Rosalie's benefit? I couldn't be sure. Whatever was happening, Jasper kept encouraging Rosalie and giving her hints.

After another hour or so of them going at it, Emmett came and sat next to me leaving Alice by herself.

"You did good, Mom," he told me earnestly speaking softly.

"I hurt you," I retorted.

"A scratch," he replied as if my statement was idiotic. "I bet even human mothers accidentally scratch their children and I heal faster," he joked and then paused looking serious his eyes never leaving Rosalie. "If this is what I need to pay to know that you can keep your own, if you had to, I'd pay it a thousand times. I'd do almost anything short of becoming ash, in fact. I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you Mom."

Like magic his words almost entirely lifted my mood from what had lingered after Jasper's pep talk. They really were wonderful boys.

I looked up at Emmett's concerned face. "I love you too, Emmett. Thanks. Now go torture Alice some more."

"Yes, ma'am," he agreed easily with a wide smile.

He got up and sprinted off towards Alice hoping to catch her off guard. Of course, he didn't, but him trying to do so made me laugh.

As our time was nearly ending, Jasper called Carlisle's and Rosalie's match a draw. Then he placed Alice in the centre of us, and had us all charge at her simultaneously.

Rosalie caught her wrist fairly quickly.

Jasper whispered some things in Alice's ear and then had us do it again. This time she lasted longer. By the sixth time, Jasper seemed more relaxed about us charging at his wife.

The training had been hard on all the pairs. We didn't naturally, easily anyway, allow our mates to be attacked without defending them, especially the men. Even for me, and my confidence in my husband, it had been a struggle at times to stay away and allow him to fight alone, reminding myself that I trusted those he went against with both of our lives. As we all stood the sun rising behind a curtain of clouds it was clear that we all needed some time as couples.

"Be home by noon," Carlisle ordered while he and I went to find some nourishment and spend some time alone.

We were lying in the grass with me tucked into his left side when I asked, "Was it hard to stand back and watch me fight Emmett?"

"Very," he answered. "Good thing I trust Emmett and Jasper so much."

"Yes, good thing," I agreed. "Even though it was hard at times to not come to your aid, I actually was relieved in watching you fight. I had no idea how good of a fighter you were. Where did you learn?"

"Some I picked up along the way. Most of it I learned from my time in Volterra," he told me with only the slightest amount of hesitancy. It was the same hesitancy in his tone that was always there when he spoke about Volterra.

"Hmm …" I mused appreciating his candour. In my imagination they play fought as much as my boys if not more. But more likely they probably trained like we had tonight. "Did you ever have to fight anyone on your travels?" I asked after letting my thoughts about Volterra go.

"Usually no," he answered easily. "If I came across another nomad, I avoided them. They never had to defend their kills from me, so I wasn't seen as a threat most of the time, just an oddity."

"But?" I pressed.

He moved in a way that I knew meant he was uncomfortable. "Once, there was a nomad much like James actually, that was solely interested in demonstrating his dominance. I could not reason with him, and he would not let me be."

"Did you burn him as well?" I confirmed.

"Yes," he answered ashamed. "I knew that if I didn't he would seek revenge and who knew how many people he would kill to get to me. I still after all these years wish there had been another way."

I hugged him tighter and then kissed him.

"I'm glad that you did what you had to, and that you possessed the skill to do so, because it means that you are here today," I told him earnestly. "Think of all the people you've helped and saved along the way."

"Yes," he said reluctantly, "but a life is still a life, and saving lives through my work doesn't take away the fact that I was responsible for the end of a life."

Considering that I confessed one of my darkest thoughts, "I would have never truly wished to kill Charles, but there were moments when I did think I might have to do just that in order to protect myself. We can't rid the world of all those types, but we do have the right to protect what has been given to us."

"Yes, I suppose even the Almighty couldn't argue with that," he replied after a few minutes with a slight frown on his face.

"God still loves you Doctor Carlisle Cullen, and the scriptures says you are forgiven if you humbly repent," I reminded him.

He smiled indulgently at me, but his eyes said that I had gotten through.

With the long lives we lived and the nature of most vampires, coming across someone like James seemed inevitable. It seemed to me that we could only do our best and protect what we loved.

We stayed lying in each other's embrace before Carlisle reminded me that we too had to follow his request. I grumbled jokingly and let him lead me home not really wanting to face what lay in front of us. The Quiluetes news had changed so much, and I, truthfully, wasn't ready to face it. Most of the time I revelled in my role as the matriarch of our little family, but as we ran back I wished for the shortest of moments that I didn't have to be strong. If I had been afraid before, it was nothing to what I felt as the reality of the Quiluetes news settled into me and undid everything I thought I had understood.


A/N: It is shocking to me how much of this chapter has changed since I gave it to kiwihipp. I realized after she had gotten it back to me that I had somehow forgotten to include how the Cullens learned of Laurent's demise. Oops. Details like this are certainly something I struggle with as a writer. Good thing I have a great beta and patient readers. I can't thank you all enough!