Much of the characterization of Rosalie in her telling was inspired by staringatthesky story The Dark Gift here on FF
Beta: The incredible and amazing kiwihipp
(Updated 23 Mar 18)
Chapter 17: Are We Made For This?
Slightly weary, entering the dining room where Bella was working on her homework, I asked her, "Darling, what would you like for dinner?"
"Nothing, Esme," she answered without looking up at me. "I'm not really hungry," she added her eyes steadfastly glued to her textbook.
"I'll make you a salad again, then," I told her.
"Sure, sure," she answered sounding defeated.
It didn't take long before I brought out a bowl of a Cobb salad making sure I took a full breath before leaving the kitchen.
"Thanks, Esme," she said with a long drawn out breath.
"You're welcome." Then I leaned over and kissed the top of her head.
She turned and looked up at me her features distraught.
"Is it hard, Esme?" she whispered like she was in anguish.
"Is what hard, darling?" I asked uncertain of the direction of her question.
"Being near me?" she asked the sadness in her tone increasing.
"As long as I hunt regularly and your blood isn't flowing, generally no. Your paper cut wasn't terrible, but the large cut was more than I could handle. I don't know how Carlisle does it, honestly," I told her hoping my truthful answer would help her, rather than cause her to withdrawal from me even more.
She looked at me longingly and with sadness.
Closing my airways completely, I opened my arms and she leaned against my chest.
When I believed that I was ready, I spoke softly. "I care deeply about you, Bella. Human or vampire I want to have you around. It's worth the discomfort and the occasional shame of my weakness to have you in my life."
I could smell the tears collect in her eyes and then feel as my shirt became wet.
"It's okay; let it out," I encouraged her. "There's no weakness in your feelings," I proclaimed, although I had no clue as to what had caused her tears. Once more it seemed like we were having two very different conversations.
We stayed like that until the throbbing of her veins began to affect me.
Pulling back some, I finally found the courage to ask her, "Bella, did what I say change how you see me?"
Her breathing hitched. "A little. I hadn't realised what you go through to have me in your life. I'm so sorry that I cause you such trouble."
"Oh, darling," I cooed suddenly aware of why she had been upset. "Don't be sorry. You are the opposite of trouble. It's a small price to pay for what you give me in return."
"That can't possibly be true, Esme," she argued. "I can't possibly be that special."
"You are to me," I insisted.
The hitching in her breathing increased and the tears flowed. Eventually she calmed, removed herself completely from me, and dried her eyes.
Slowly I took in a tentative breath testing myself.
"Thank you, Esme," she whispered sounding calmer.
"What are you thanking me for now?" I wondered.
"For all that you go through so that I can be a part of your life," she told me her earnestness apparent. "I wish I could make is easier."
"You and I are the same that way," I mused. "We both wish to make life easier for others around us." Squatting, so our eyes were at the same level, I told her, "Remember, though, to make your decisions on what's best for you. Don't ever be afraid to ask for what you need. If you lose sight of yourself, then all is lost. All right?"
"Fine, Esme," she said, as she drew Esme out to a whine.
"I want you as you are. And I would want you if you went through the transformation," I assured her. "There would be challenges with you being one of us, different challenges, but challenges just the same. Nothing in life comes without costs."
She took a deep breath. It almost was like she was taking in my scent and using it to calm herself. If she was, it pleased me greatly. "I'm just beginning to learn that," she admitted.
"Good," I told her with some force.
She looked at me. "Okay, fine. I'll eat something, and I'll finish my homework."
Smiling, I claimed, "I said nothing."
"But you were," she pointed out.
"Maybe you're getting Alice's gift?" I teased.
"No, you're just easy to predict," she replied playfully.
I smiled, stood upright, and kissed the top of her head again.
"If you need anything, let me know," I told her.
"Of course, Esme."
"All right, dear. I'll leave you to it."
And with that I went back to my work on the second floor letting Carlisle finish up what he was doing in his office.
After a short while, Bella walked to the kitchen, turned on the sink, washed her dish, and then returned to the dining room. A few hours later, she closed her books and could be heard climbing the stairs.
"Good night, Esme. Good night, Carlisle," I heard her say even though her tone sounded subdued.
Popping my head out of the room I was finishing up, I found her standing in the hall in front of her room her eyes unfocused as if she were lost in thought.
"Good night, Bella. Sweet dreams," I told her.
She smiled turning towards me, but her eyes held some unknown concern.
"See you in the morning," I told her hoping to reassure her.
"Will do," she agreed with a slight head nod. "Good night."
"Good night, sleep well."
And with that she gave me one long look before she entered her room and closed the door behind her.
As the night progressed, my nervousness about how things were going with the kids increased. Seeking comfort from my thoughts, I found Carlisle.
"I'm worried, and I should hunt, but I don't want to leave Bella alone," I told him.
"I am a little concerned as well. However, they have Jasper and Alice. They'll come home. How about I go catch us some deer, and I'll meet you near the back porch in a little bit."
"Thank you," I told him giving him a kiss and then venturing to the porch to view the outside, allowing it to soothe me while I waited.
In less than an hour he had returned.
"Dinner is served," he joked.
"Great delivery service," I teased him back before taking the paralyzed deer on his left arm and drinking.
Generally, Carlisle and I didn't like to paralyze the animals, as it seemed cruel, but in this case it appeared to be the better choice. A frightened deer was preferable to a dead Bella.
After we were both done, he travelled a little ways from me burying them. "Better?" he asked when he returned to my side.
"Still worried," I admitted.
Perhaps he could see that no amount of words were going to soothe me as he took my hand and led me into our room.
"It's been a long time since you brought me my food," I told him while we moved to lay down together facing one another.
He smiled fondly. "Yes, but I enjoyed it, as odd as that might sound. Providing for you in that way felt particularly sweet. Perhaps we should do it again in another eighty years just to soothe the cave man within me," he offered light-heartedly.
Smiling at him, I agreed. Through the night he held me and we talked through our week, our time with Bella, our concerns about Edward, and what was happening in Seattle. After the sun had risen, we heard the water being used.
Rising, I went to make breakfast. Joyously Carlisle joined me and we worked in tandem. We were about half way done when I heard Bella's feet pattering towards us.
"Good morning, Bella," Carlisle greeted her once she entered the kitchen.
"Good morning, Carlisle," she greeted in return.
"Good morning, Bella," I greeted her.
She looked at me and smiled. "Good morning, Esme. What's for breakfast?"
"I made you some pancakes. Carlisle cut up some fruit and is making the mix for scrambled eggs."
She sat down in one of the chairs on the other side of the kitchen island. Carlisle took over to her the fruit he had cut.
"Thanks. This looks beautiful, Carlisle. Thank you."
"You're welcome, Bella. How are you feeling?" he asked his concern clear.
"Fine," she muttered defensively into her shirt.
Carlisle gave her a questioning look waiting until she looked up at him.
Her cheeks increased in blood before she began to speak. "I slept restlessly. I had strange dreams."
"Want to talk about it?" he questioned with only the slightest indication that she could say no.
She looked down at her plate her embarrassment apparent. After many long minutes had passed with us looking at her and her studying her food she finally started speaking, "Um, well, I dreamed that I was in an open field. The wolves were on one side with you and Esme on the other. I cut myself. Esme moved towards me as if pulled by my blood, but you held her back. The wolves went to attack her. I held up my hands and told them that she shouldn't be blamed for her nature, that she worked hard at fighting it, and that it wasn't her fault that I was bleeding. They wouldn't listen to me, and a wolf jumped at her. I got in the way and the wolf bit me. Then you, Carlisle, with Esme came over and protected me and told them to leave. You fixed my wound, and then you carried me away."
Slowly she lifted her gaze and looked at us.
"Were you scared at all?" I wondered. She didn't show any indications of fear.
"No," she said as if my question was ridiculous. "I knew that even if you did bite me, you wouldn't have meant to. I guess maybe I was a little afraid that the wolves would hurt you and Carlisle."
Carlisle nodded knowingly.
Leaving the stove, I wrapped her in my arms. The blood had certainly helped in having her so close to me.
"Oh, my sweet girl. Thank you," I told her grateful.
After a minute, she pulled back and looked at me. "What for, Esme?"
"For not being scared of me. I had promised to tell you my history, but I was afraid that it would alter the bond between us. You are an incredible person, Bella."
She shrugged and then looked at Carlisle.
I went back to the pancakes with an amazing sense of being accepted.
Carlisle kissed me on the cheek.
"How are you feeling about what we talked about yesterday?" Carlisle asked her.
She shrugged again. "It was difficult at times to hear about how hard it is, what a struggle it is, the pain of the transformation, and the pain of the thirst. At the same time I'm incredibly appreciative to know. It makes me feel more trusted, I suppose."
Carlisle handed me the egg mix and I put it in the pan.
Once the eggs were done, I finished the last pancake and put it all on a plate for her.
"Did you have any more questions?" Carlisle asked her as he handed her the plate.
"Well," she started and then paused as if uncertain. We simply stood together waiting until she continued, "I was wondering if my experience is more likely to be like yours or Esme's?"
He paused before answering, "Honestly, everyone's experience is different, but Esme's is more typical."
She seemed to shudder slightly. "Good to know," she stated. A moment later she added, "Thanks for being honest, Carlisle."
"You're welcome," he told her, although his tone indicated that her being appreciative for his honesty was puzzling to him.
She looked around. "I thought they would be back by now."
"As did we," I answered.
"They will take precautions to make sure they aren't followed. They'll return home when they can," Carlisle assured us.
We both nodded wanting to believe him.
Bella worked through her breakfast while Carlisle and I talked at a human pace about his schedule for the upcoming week, my estimated schedule for finishing the second floor, and general family stuff.
When Bella finished I turned and asked her, "Do you have more homework to complete?"
"Just a little," she let me know.
"All right. Why don't you go ahead and finish it up? If you're done and the kids aren't home, call for me and we'll do something together."
"Okay, Esme. Sounds good."
"You, my love, are coming to help me," I informed Carlisle.
Carlisle grinned and allowed me to lead him upstairs.
We had just started painting when I heard the Jeep coming up the drive.
Quickly we put everything away and arrived at the garage door as they were pulling in.
As they exited the vehicle I looked them over making sure they were not hurt.
Carlisle did the same.
Unable to help myself once they came towards us, I went over hugging Rosalie briefly, knowing she didn't like me fussing, then Alice, holding her tightly as she seemed to need my embrace, and then quickly holding my boys, grateful Jasper didn't tense too much when I did so.
"We're fine, Mom, stop fussing," Emmett teased after I had let him go.
"Come inside," I ordered. "Bella's working on her homework."
"I'd like to shower," Alice let me know.
They all nodded in agreement.
"Okay," I relented. "See you downstairs when you're all clean."
"Sounds good," Alice said while she kissed me on the cheek running upstairs.
They each followed suit, bar Jasper, who just nodded at me as he followed Alice.
"I don't know if I'm made for this," I murmured to Carlisle once they were out of earshot.
"Our family is made for this. We will get through this together. Hope, faith, and love remember?" he responded.
Nodding in agreement reluctantly, I went inside to the dining room.
"Hey, Bella," I stated waiting for her to pause and look up at me. "I'm not sure if you heard them. The four of them just got home."
Her relief was evident.
Continuing on I told her, "They all wanted to shower and change. They should be done shortly. We're all meeting in the living room. Want to grab some games?"
"Sure, Esme," she replied beginning to put her stuff away.
"What time do you need to head home?" I asked.
"No later than five," she answered.
"All right. Sounds good. I'll see you in the living room when you're ready."
Finding Carlisle sitting in thought, I plopped myself into his lap and rested my head onto his chest. "I'm glad they're home," I murmured.
"Uh-huh," he said as if he hasn't really heard me.
"I hope it went well," I told him.
"As do I, my love," he answered seemingly lost in thought and then focusing on me added, "We'll find out soon enough."
It didn't take long for them and Bella to join us. Bella had found a dice game, some cards, and a couple of board games.
We settled into our spots and enjoyed playing. Emmett managed to control himself, even though he was losing a few times, and, as usual, I refereed when they started arguing. After a few hours Bella sounded like she was hungry. I got up and made her a sandwich and small salad.
After the game was done, Alice left Jasper's side and sat on the floor resting on the armchair Bella had been sitting in. "So, what did you do yesterday?" Alice asked Bella.
"Um, well, let's see. Carlisle told me parts of his history that I didn't know, did some homework, and Esme told me a little about her early years."
The four of their eyes lit up in curiosity.
"So, what did you think?" Alice asked lacking her usual lightness.
"That you're not going to tell me what happened in Seattle." Bella was serious, but the edges of her eyes were twisting in playfulness.
The four of them looked at each other, then at us.
"We will tell you," Carlisle said earnestly. "How about tomorrow after school?"
She turned to him in a mock pout. "But Carlisle," she whined.
He kept his face neutral, although I could tell that he was enjoying her treating him in this way. "This is the deal we made, remember," he said with a serious tone.
"So? Who's next, then?" Bella asked as she looked around.
Jasper was sitting there with a strange expression of wonder and enjoyment.
Rosalie, Emmett, and Alice looked confused.
"Me," Rosalie finally spoke up gruffly.
"Oh," Bella responded while she dropped her gaze.
"It would probably be best if I told it with everyone here," Rosalie grumbled.
Looking at her I stated sweetly, "Rose, dear, Bella might not understand why that would be."
Rosalie sat stoically most likely deciding if she wanted to go ahead. Then she looked up at Bella. "See, Alice and Jasper weren't here when I was turned, so they don't know the details of those years either," she said stiffly.
Emmett ran his hands up and down her arms.
After a few seconds Bella's eyes grew wider. "Oh. It's okay Rosalie. I can wait. There's no hurry."
"No, it's fine," she grumbled irritatingly.
Bella watched her carefully.
Alice placed her hand on Bella's knee.
Jasper moved so that he was sitting next to Alice.
Alice rested her head on Jasper's shoulder and we all stilled waiting for Rosalie to begin.
Rosalie's eyes got a sad cold far away look. "I was engaged to be married to the richest, most eligible bachelor in all of Rochester, Royce King II. Everyone I knew was envious of my upcoming nuptials except my friend Vera. See, she was already married. Her husband didn't have a great job, but they had a quaint place of their own and a little one named Henry. I loved going over to play with Henry. I couldn't wait to be married, get pregnant, and have my own Henry, thereby achieving the perfect life my parents had groomed me for.
"It was after dark, so Vera's husband had offered to walk me. I had declined, confident in my ability to get home without an escort. I was a Hale after all. About halfway home I came across a group of men. Initially I was cautious. As I drew nearer, however, Royce called out to me. Moving towards him I was pleased to see him, but he grabbed me roughly. I could smell that he had been drinking, which he had never done in my presence before. 'I get to have the prettiest girl in the town,' he boasted to his gang. 'You gonna wait like a good boy, Royce?' one of his friend's jeered. 'My father would be mighty upset if I didn't,' Royce replied calmly as if it didn't really matter to him one way or another. 'Come on Royce,' another friend egged, 'there's plenty of pretty girls.' Royce seemed to hem and haw, weighing it while his friends looked at me greedily.
"I tried to leave, but Royce had my arm held firmly trapping me. 'Going anywhere?' Royce asked me sinisterly. 'Home, Royce, my father will be worried.' This seemed to be the wrong thing to say because his eyes narrowed and he evaluated me critically. 'You're already mine, Rosalie. You're father is a worthless waste of space and has already sold you to me.' I looked at him in shock horrified by his words. 'You must be mistaken,' I argued. Then he started laughing as if the whole thing was some big joke. I chuckled nervously with him uncertain about what was happening. His friends laughed along. Then, just as suddenly as he had started, he stopped, and they stopped just as suddenly. He turned to one of his friends. 'You're right Luke. Pretty girls are a dime a dozen, even those as pretty as this specimen. But I can't have someone this dumb on my arm. That just won't do.'
"This Luke smiled gruesomely and then turned at me. 'I get first dibs,' Royce ordered. Everyone nodded eagerly. Their anticipation terrified me. Then without warning he threw me to the ground. Two of his friends held my arms down, while the three others stood watching. Royce tore at my clothes and violated me. When he was done he got up muttering 'Not bad.' Then he stood watch while another of his friends took their turn. One by one they all had their go. Then they walked away laughing and joking and talking about me as if I were a cow. I remember wishing for death and blacking out. The next thing I remember is being burned alive and a voice arguing saying 'Rosalie Hale? Really, Carlisle? What were you thinking?' I was certain that whoever owned that voice and whomever he was speaking to were the ones burning me.
"My assumption that they had found me on the street and had brought me back to their place for their own amusement was worse torture than the fire licking and consuming so much of me that I couldn't tell where I was burning. My only conclusion was that they were purposefully burning me so that I would be a more pliable hostage. Well, I wasn't going to give them that or anything else. I determined then and there that they would have to kill me first before I let them near me. I was Rosalie Hale after all, and although Royce and his goons had gotten the better of me, I wasn't going to let that happen twice. 'I couldn't leave her. She has such potential. It would have been a waste,' the second man responded. Their words made no sense to me, but it didn't matter because I was consumed with the fire once more. When I thought the pain of them burning me couldn't get worse, it did. I tried to do anything I could think of in order put out the fire, but nothing worked, as my body would not respond to my requests.
"I have no idea how much time passed. Eventually, I heard the second male say, 'Miss Hale? This is Doctor Carlisle Cullen. I'm sorry for the pain. It will pass. I am a vampire and have bitten you and made you into one of us.' I remembered the doctor, as we travelled in similar social circles. I had found them standoffish and odd. I had no wish to have anything to do with them. I had no wish to become a vampire, whatever that was. No matter what cruelty the doctor had inflicted, I just wanted to go home. Certainly, once my father had been informed about what Royce and his goons had done, they would be scorned and their names muddied.
"When the fire finally ended, my heart had stopped too. In addition to no longer having a heartbeat, I had no desire to breathe. I didn't understand what was going on, how I could have no heartbeat, but still be alive. In the midst of my confusion, one thing stood out: Dr. Cullen was at fault. When I opened my eyes, I lunged at the man standing before me, but he moved out of my way at the last second. My mind was consumed with rage. My only awareness was that the man standing in front of me was in my way. 'She doesn't believe you,' the first male voice said, even though I couldn't see him. 'Miss Hale,' the man in front of my pleaded. 'I implore you that I am not here to harm you.' 'Then let me go,' I refuted. 'I'm sorry, I cannot,' he replied looking crestfallen.
"With that as confirmation that I was being held prisoner, I lunged at him again only this time a feral animalistic roar filled the space. 'Please calm yourself, Miss Hale,' the male keeping me in the room implored me. It was only then that I realised that those inhuman noises were coming from me. Immediately I froze, stood up straight, and crossed my arms over my body. Glaring at him I demanded, 'What have you done to me?' Looking sad his voice softened and his posture became more relaxed. 'I am sorry Miss Hale for what happened to you. I found you dying in the street and brought you back to my home saving you the only way I could. See, my family are vampires. That is what I made you into,' he admitted.
"The man speaking looked somewhat like how I recalled Dr. Cullen. Whether he was Dr. Cullen or not, the truth was that he was holding me prisoner. Acting by force had clearly done little good. 'You are speaking in riddles and I am not impressed. I demand that you return me to my father,' I commanded. 'I am sorry Miss Hale, but that is not possible. We drink blood to sustain ourselves, you see, so if you were to go anywhere near your family, you would kill them.' My mouth opened and closed in quick succession. 'Get out,' I snarled at the top of my voice and the walls vibrated. 'I will leave if you vow to remain here with us. It is for the humans' protection you see,' he explained ruefully. 'Get out,' was my reply in the same manner as I had demanded the first time.
"I refused to leave the room. Even when the burn in my throat intensified I refused to do whatever they asked. I could hear the two males and a female whisper between themselves, although they spoke too quietly to understand them. 'I'm going and that's that,' I finally heard the female insist. A second later the door opened and she stood in the doorway. 'I'm Esme, Dr. Carlisle Cullen's wife. I don't know if you remember us meeting before.' Her tone was kind and I felt safer with her than the two others. 'The fire you feel in your throat will only get worse. When you're ready we'll find you something to drink.' Nodding I appreciated her understanding. 'Are you okay if I leave the door open?' she asked. 'Yes,' I answered tersely.
"Some time later she came back. 'How about now?' she asked. I shook my head no. 'That's okay. When you're ready,' she cooed. She wasn't anything like my mother, who was firm and demanding, but she had a mothering quality about her that helped calm me. When the pain in my throat increased to such a level that a whimper passed my lips she came back once more. 'Come, soothe your throat,' she instructed softly. Then she took me by the hand and led me outside. The male I had yet to meet held the animal while Carlisle kissed its neck. Except when he moved back there was blood flowing. Everything in me wanted it. I tried to fight the desire, wanting to prove to these crazy people that the blood did not tempt me, that I didn't want it, but I made the mistake of taking a breath in. Next thing I knew I was over the animal, it dead on the ground, liquid on my chin, and the burn lessened.
"That was when I realized that he had hadn't been lying; as unimaginable as it was, he had made me into a blood drinker; he had finished the job that Royce and his friends had started; and that I could never be Rosalie Hale again. I hated Carlisle even more. I stormed back into the house and into the room where I had been, breaking three doors in the process, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. Sometime later Esme came into the room and stood next to me as we both looked out the window. 'It's hard, I know. I remember,' she told me solemnly. 'I can't go back?' I asked keeping my volume low. 'No, irrelevant of Carlisle's decision you would have died,' she told me gently. 'Do you remember that night?' she asked at a whisper.
"I nodded just the once. 'That's too bad,' she told me sadly, and then explained, 'I had hoped that the transformation would take that burden from you. Just know that, although I have not experienced what you have, I have known cruelty from men's hands. I can also assure you that Carlisle and Edward are not like that.' Seething I asked, 'How can you say that? He made me into this without my permission.' She nodded sadly, 'He did. That's true, but if he had not, you would have died. His intention was to save you, not to harm you,' she told me. 'He did this to you as well?' I questioned. 'Edward too,' was her response, although there was no bitterness in it. Even though I could see the truth in her words, the fact that I was a blood-thirsty animal and not Rosalie Hale fiancée to Royce King convinced me that my new reality was his fault, no matter his intention.
"I only drank when Esme would know that the burn was intolerable, and we would repeat that first time. I refused to find my own sustenance for a while, but eventually I got tired of having an audience and being treated like a little kid. Then one day I realized that Royce and his goons were walking free. I was now stronger and faster than them. There was nothing they could ever do to me again. I forced Carlisle to desensitize me until I was sure that I could have flowing human blood around me and not consume it.
"After that I snuck into my old house and stole what would have been my wedding gown. It was very difficult to see my father, mother, and two brothers asleep in their beds and know that I was dead to them. For me, that night was when Rosalie Hale, Rochester socialite officially died. I put on my beautiful wedding gown and I found one of the goons on the street. I followed him home and killed him. Every night after that, I went out and killed one of them until they were all dead. I left Royce for last and made him suffer. Never once, despite the desire, did I ever allow one drop of their blood to cross my lips. After they were all extinguished, I came back to Carlisle's and requested that we move.
"Finding Emmett changed me a lot, but even with Emmett there are just some things from that time I have not been able to let go of. I might never be able to. It's one of the worst parts of what we are. We don't change easily. Sometimes I wish I could change. Some other times I wouldn't want to change anything about me. But it's the lack of possibility that grates on me."
We all sat in silence with the only sounds beings Bella's heartbeat, her breathing, and our breathing. Emmett held Rosalie close and she buried herself in his arms. Jasper looked contemplative and calculating, while Alice looked nonplussed, probably because she had seen much of what Rosalie had said in her visions, as strange as that was to conceptualize. Carlisle's body had sagged at the weight of her story, even though there was little she had said that he did not know.
In those early days Edward had been forced to divulge almost everything that Rosalie had been thinking, so that we knew how to help her. He had refused any mention of her memories from what had happened at the end of her human life, and Carlisle never asked directly about it, but even still I had suspected that Edward's coerced assistance via his gift had added to the tension between Rosalie and Edward as well as Rosalie and Carlisle. Once Rosalie had found out that Edward could read minds, it didn't take her long to pressure him into telling her how much he had told Carlisle and myself. Despite the tension it had caused, at the time it had seemed like we had little other options.
"Bella, it's after five," Carlisle stated interrupting the silence and bringing my attention back to the present.
"Oh, right. I should go." She stood up absentmindedly.
"Are you all right, dear?" I asked her concerned as she walked away.
She turned and faced me, but her eyes looked through me. Her tone was crisp and shallow. "Yes, Esme. I'll be fine. Thank you for having me for the weekend. Thank you for sharing your story, Rosalie. I'll see you at school, Alice. I'll come over after school tomorrow, if that's still all right."
Jasper eyed her critically, but said nothing.
"Yes, of course," Carlisle insisted.
Alice stood and hugged Bella.
Bella went, got her stuff, and walked out to her truck, which we had parked in the garage, seemingly in a daze. Alice went with her.
"See you tomorrow," Alice told her as the truck's door could be heard being opened.
"Yes," Bella replied in that same empty tone.
"Will she really be all right, Carlisle?" Alice asked when she came back.
"We have to trust her judgement," he told her. "Perhaps, though, if you wish, tonight you and Jasper could go keep watch at her home," he offered Alice as a compromise.
She nodded and seemed more relaxed after his suggestion.
"Jasper, did you want to divulge anything?" Carlisle asked.
After a moment, turning towards Rosalie he started speaking. "She was very moved. Her outward appearance doesn't reflect the impact your words had on her."
Rosalie nodded slightly in thanks and acknowledgement.
Watching her closely I suspected that she was waiting for Jasper to say something else, perhaps even to condemn her or to have some other reaction that she feared. Of course it never came. Jasper was firmly against women being misused in any way by men, probably an influence of his southern upbringing, much like Emmett.
If the emotions in the room from Rosalie story were wearing on Jasper at all, he didn't show it.
After more than twenty minutes had passed in silence, Carlisle looked around the room and then instructed, "Please let us know how Seattle went," and the mood shifted.
"We were able to get to the house Alice had seen undetected. There were ten newborns and Riley," Jasper informed us briskly.
I gasped at the number, as it meant the maker had created more since the last time they had gone to Seattle.
Jasper continued as if nothing had been uttered. "They seemed to have been told they were vampires and led to believe that some of the modern lore is true. For instance, from what we overhead, they believe that the sun will destroy them. But it seems that they were never told or warned about the Volturi.
"They stayed in the basement the whole of the daytime. Luckily Riley was with them keeping them in some semblance of order. After the sun set he released them and he went in another direction, unfortunately not making a decision, just so we were forced to split up. Alice and Rosalie followed Riley. Emmett and I followed the newborns."
It was a good thing that they were all safe here with me, since splitting up seemed extremely risky. Once more, I was forced to trust in Jasper's experience to keep everyone safe, which clearly he had done.
"Emmett and I saw one small girl and a young boy who travelled with her, both of whom seemed to be quite inconspicuous. There was another who I would guess was gifted, as his trail was repugnant. There were two others who were quite haughty and loud, drawing attention, not to mention sloppy in their kills, both males. We ended them and burned them with their feeds. We were able to catch a third and end her as well, but the others had spread out too much, and it would have taken too much time to track them down. Each of their scents had the underpinnings of Victoria. When the sun was an hour away from rising, we headed back to where we had agreed to meet up with the girls." He turned to Rosalie clearly giving her the floor.
Rosalie's tone was crisp and firm. "Alice and I followed Riley at a distance that would have made him unable to hear us. Alice used her gift to know where he was going, and I used the tracking that Jasper has been teaching me. Riley must have made a decision, because Alice slowed. She said that she saw Victoria with Riley. Then we left and followed our trails back to try to hide that we had followed him.
"Alice said that he decided to follow our scents after his meeting, so we found a river and sank to the bottom staying together until Alice said it was safe. By this time the sun had risen and we went to meet the boys. We met up and carefully went back to where we had parked the Jeep swimming up the river at places and travelling across it a number of times to disguise our scents. Alice said we were in the clear."
I would dare say she looked proud of herself.
It was the worst news we could have gotten. Laurent might be gone, but with Victoria behind everything my sense of danger from the happenings in Seattle instantly changed. What was a possibility yesterday, was today a certainty. Bella, the people of Forks, the Quileutes, and ourselves were in danger from someone probably out for revenge.
Carlisle looked at Emmett expectantly.
"What Jasper said," he said in a joking manner. Then his tone grew glum. "It sucks, you know. They're just kids not told how to conduct themselves. I wasn't too different my first year. Like me, they were attack first, ask questions later kind of guys. Tough breaks really."
Carlisle kept his face neutral as he turned to Alice.
"Riley had decided to tell Victoria that two newborns hadn't returned. Presumably they were the two we were forced to end. She yelled at him and raved about how he couldn't keep a couple of kids under control. He said lots of things to placate her. She said that she would just make more. Then the vision ended."
"Are you certain that you weren't followed?" Carlisle checked.
"Yes," answered Jasper.
"There is no decision, yet, to come visit Forks. I believe that we've hidden our activities, but there's no way to say for sure," Alice added.
"Although this is what we suspected, it is quite unfortunate that it is Victoria creating these newborns," Carlisle stated. "What are your thoughts given this information, Jasper?" he asked.
"It is only a matter of time before Victoria uses her creations against us," Jasper stated seriously.
Carlisle sighed as if he had already come to this conclusion. After a moment he then asked Jasper, "What are your ideas in how to reduce human deaths and the risks?"
"Killing the newborns might slow humans from printing anything that attracts the Volturi, but this is a non-ending battle unless we end Victoria and possibly even Riley," Jasper stated firmly as if expecting Carlisle to argue against his point.
After a moment Carlisle nodded sadly.
"But with Victoria being so unpredictable, it will be very difficult," Jasper went on, clearly surprised by Carlisle's reaction, but recovering quickly. "We can hope she will choose to come here to scope things out, but there's no guarantee she will do this. Our best chance would be to use Bella as bait and draw Victoria into a more vulnerable position. The problem is that if Victoria senses a trap, she might bolt, so we'd have to draw her where we would want her and tighten the noose quickly. It's very difficult, especially in an urban setting, as there would be too many variables we can't control. Thus, our best chance at trapping her would be if she came here. I'll work on it."
"What do you mean by using Bella as bait?" I asked nervously forcing myself to believe that Jasper wouldn't purposefully put Bella at risk just to end Victoria.
"To make it seem as if she is lost in the woods like Laurent," he answered tersely.
"That puts Bella highly at risk," I commented scared about the possible consequences, especially as Carlisle looked like he was considering the option.
"I know. I'll work on it," he told me before turning to Carlisle. "Any chance that the wolves would lend a paw?"
Emmett and Rosalie smirked.
"I will call Billy Black and see," he offered.
"We could change the strategy if they are involved," Jasper commented.
"Please come up with possibilities that contain both scenarios," Carlisle requested.
Jasper nodded in assent.
"Anything else?" Carlisle asked the room.
They all shook their heads.
Carlisle got up and went to his office. We all sat in silence waiting for his return. We could hear both sides of the conversation, of course, but waiting was polite.
He came back down not long after.
"If Victoria comes into their lands, then they will consider a cooperative measure to end her," Carlisle stated even though we already knew that.
"That's helpful to know," Jasper said contemplatively.
"Who's helping me finish the second floor?" I asked as this conversation was going nowhere fast and sitting around being frustrated wasn't going to help anyone.
Jasper and Alice rose together and ran out the door, clearly heading to Bella's to keep guard.
The remaining four of us went to work on the unfinished spaces. We worked side by side till Carlisle kissed me on the cheek, changed, and went to work. Not long after, Jasper and Alice returned. Then Alice changed and left for school.
"Boys would you mind if us girls left you to your plotting and planning?" I asked them.
"No, Mom," Emmett answered.
"Thank you," I told them knowing that some time alone would benefit Rosalie.
After we put everything away, both Rosalie and I changed our clothes.
"Shopping or hunting?" I asked her.
"Shopping?" she replied.
"Want to drive the new car you got me?" I asked.
She smiled. "Thanks, Mom."
"Port Angeles?" I questioned.
"Sure," she agreed easily.
Rosalie floored it muttering every once in a while about this or that clearly deciding what she wanted to tamper with.
Once we were out of Forks, I turned to her. "Rosalie, I wanted to tell you how proud of you I am. Your telling Bella of your early years and inviting Jasper and Alice to stay shows how much you've changed. Not to mention that talking about those years took a lot of courage. I was proud of how you behaved then, and I still am proud of you. You know I never agreed with your need for revenge, but I understood it. I often had similar thoughts about Charles. And I was proud hearing how you protected and defended Alice in Seattle. I couldn't be prouder."
"Thanks, Mom," she said simply, clearly trying to hide her true reaction to my words.
"Was it hard to be out there, to be with Alice?" I questioned curious.
She paused in thought. "In some ways it was intimidating, but honestly, no. Surprisingly, it was nice to use my strength and skills to protect and defend my family. To the most part I prefer the quiet life and I certainly don't revel in it like Emmett, don't get me wrong, but I like that I'm not helpless innocent Rosalie Hale anymore."
I patted her arm. "Good, since you are her no longer. You are strong and ferocious, tenacious and cunning. You are a Cullen. We are not perfect. Carlisle is not perfect. He's made mistakes. We've all made mistakes. But we stand for something. We try, to the best of our ability, to be a family and make the world a better place. You have represented that everyday since you opened your eyes into this life. I couldn't have gotten a better daughter."
"Thanks, Mom," she said subdued.
"Want to talk about Bella's statements about her not wanting children?" I asked tentatively letting her know in my tone that she didn't have to talk about it, if she didn't want to.
"Honestly, Mom, I think that she's so young that she really doesn't know her own wishes, because I bet that if her friends got pregnant or she did, that she'd march to a different tune. She just doesn't have enough life experience to really understand what she's saying," she concluded.
Putting my hand on her arm I agreed. "I was impressed on how you were patient with her."
"The longer she can stay human, the more she'll see things differently. It's so silly, but she's acting like the world is going to pass her by if she doesn't do things this moment."
Chuckling I told her, "Well, then, in that case you and Bella have nothing in common."
She huffed.
"Rose, I wanted to tell you that I thought you were wise to not push her. Having children is a tough conversation topic for me too. At the same time, not everyone is meant to be a mother. We've certainly observed poor mothering through the years."
"Isn't that the truth," Rosalie agreed easily. After a short pause she added, "I think Bella's ignorant and self-centred, but then again, so was I at that age. I'll let her ignorance go, but I still think she'd be better off staying human."
Patting her I told her, "Her growing up some would certainly benefit us all, her especially. Who knows, she might agree with you in a few years." After a few minutes I added subdued, "I'm glad in a way that women no longer feel obligated to have children in order to have value."
"I'm glad they have more options, too," Rosalie added.
Neither of us said anything more, us each lost in our thoughts until we were in Port Angeles.
"So, what are we shopping for today?" I asked wanting to leave our heavy topics behind.
"A new look for your bedroom, since you redid it," she told me.
I smiled. "Sounds like a plan."
We spent the rest of the time looking at options and enjoying each other's company. In the end we didn't find anything that really appealed to me.
By the time we got back home, Alice and Bella were already sitting at the table, Bella working on her homework.
"Did you get a snack, Bella?" I checked.
"Yup, I hunted for it myself," she retorted with heavy sarcasm.
Rosalie and Alice chuckled.
"All right dear. Let me know when your homework is done. Are you staying for dinner?" I wondered.
"No," she let me know.
"Well, then we should gather soon, so we can tell you where things stand."
"No problem, Esme," she easily agreed. "I'll finish this equation and then put my stuff away."
"Sounds good. Where are the boys, Alice?"
"They're using your to be art room at the moment," she informed me.
"Good to know."
It didn't take long for the boys to join us all in the living room, once Bella was ready.
"Bella, since Carlisle is not here, Jasper will explain," I told her.
She nodded in consent and looked at him.
"We found ten newborns. Emmett and I followed them and ended three. Three of the remaining seemed able to follow the rules of keeping themselves hidden from human knowledge. We did not observe the other four. Rosalie and Alice followed their leader Riley who we confirmed is reporting to Victoria and she is the one changing them. We are in the process of devising a plan to lure Victoria into a place where we can end her, but don't have any firm plans yet."
"Could I help?" Bella asked with a tremor in her voice.
"How do you mean?" he asked carefully.
"Like being bait or something. If it worked for Laurent, maybe it could work for Victoria?" she asked scared.
"Thank you for offering," he told her sincerely, while eying her carefully. "We will consider that as an option, but if there's another way, we'd rather not risk your safety."
She nodded stiffly frowning.
"Any questions, Bella?" I asked.
"No, I just wish I wasn't so helpless," she said exasperated.
Going over to her, I pulled her into a hug.
"Oh, darling," I sighed sympathising with her frustration. I drew back from her and looked into her eyes. "You work on getting stronger. You are doing your part. We will do ours. We are a family. I didn't go; neither did Carlisle. Doesn't make us helpless. We each have our roles. Yours is to get healthier, heal, and stay alive. We can't afford to lose you."
She looked at each of us. Whatever she saw seemed to calm her. She nodded. "All right, Esme. I'll keep working on my part."
"Good girl." I patted her on her leg. "Know that us offering you to become a Cullen will ask something of each of us. In return, we are asking something of you. Trusting Jasper in making the most strategic trap is one of the things being asked of you. I know it's hard. We all have had roles that were hard for us in the past. Keep doing your part." Pausing I waited till she nodded slightly and then let her know, "You need to leave soon, if you want to be home by five. Anything else?" I asked Jasper.
"No," he replied.
"Let me walk you to your truck," Alice offered to Bella.
They got up and headed out.
I could hear Alice ask Bella, "Are you all right?"
"Just frustrated," she whined. "I know Esme is right. I just don't like my role right now."
"We all have times in which that is true, Bella," Alice offered in support. "There have been times when my role has been to appear scared or go to a memorial for someone that Jasper killed," she admitted sadness coating her tone. "Having roles we don't like is a part of being a Cullen. We each affect one another. It won't always be like this, though. Simultaneously, this won't be the last time you don't like your role. But in the end, being a Cullen and all of what that means has been worth it for me, and I'm excited to have you as my sister."
From the sounds being made I'd guess that they hugged.
The truck door opened and then the engine was started.
"That was very big sisterly of you," I told Alice when she came back inside.
"Thanks," she replied heavily.
I wrapped her in a hug and she leaned into my chest sighing. We both knew that talking about Jasper's mistakes was hard for her. She preferred to live in the optimism of the future. Maybe this showed that she was changing. After a few moments she seemed more settled and went to join the other three, as I went back up to my work letting the kids plan and plot.
Over the next two weeks not once did I get to visit with Bella, my only viewings of her was from when I stood guard outside her home with Carlisle a few nights. She was either working or visiting the wolves. I suspected that what she had learned from Carlisle, Rosalie, and I, not to mention Alice's words, were proving to be more than she had expected and that she was dealing with the knowledge in her own way. I hoped that she didn't change her mind about becoming a Cullen, but that was merely because I didn't want to consider losing her. Despite my feelings, I wanted her to have the choice, and that meant she might say no.
Needing something to keep my attention other than the building tension and danger, I threw myself into finishing the work on the second floor, telling the kids to focus on strategy to defeat Victoria. When Carlisle was home I asked for much of his time making sure to keep things between us strong. No one liked the idea of leaving Bella undefended, and Carlisle didn't like the idea of me home alone, so we stayed in Forks when the kids were in Seattle, spending the nights outside of Bella's house keeping watch. With each passing day the tension mounted and it seemed like something had to give soon. Hopefully it would be Victoria and not our family.
