Beta: The incredible and amazing kiwihipp

(Updated 25 Mar 18)


Chapter 18: In a Standstill


The weekend after Carlisle, Rosalie, and I had told Bella our stories, upon the kids returning from Seattle, they had reported that Victoria had made two more newborns. They had ended one of the newest newborns and one other. Neither that week nor the one following had they retrieved any useful information on what Victoria's plans might be, even though they had devoted the second weekend to her. Although they had not followed the newborns like previous weekends, they reported that Victoria had added one more to the remaining five, bringing the total newborns in Seattle to six.

It had been close to the end of that first week with no one else was around when I had caught Emmett and Rosalie coming in from a hunt. Rosalie had known that I wanted to speak with Emmett, so she had taken one look at me and had headed up to shower, while I had asked Emmett to give me a minute. Emmett had a look like he was afraid that he was in trouble.

"How you doing Emmett?" I had asked concerned.

"Spiffy," he had replied clearly confused about my question.

"You've gone three weekends in a row to Seattle and killed others of our kind. You said that it sucked. So, I'll ask again. How are you doing?"

Instantly his continence changed. He grew older and looked at me wearily, his whole body sagging. "I'm okay, really," he had assured me. "It's nice to use my strength to protect our family, you know, but at the same time if the roles were reversed, I'd be the one being ended. It's confusing sometimes," he had admitted.

"It's never supposed to be easy to take another's life, Emmett, even if it's done in protection of your family. The fact that you're struggling with it means that you haven't succumbed to your baser instincts. You're acting because our hand is being forced."

Nodding he had agreed, "Yeah." After a thoughtful pause he had added, "still sucks that they weren't taught properly."

"Yes, it does," I had agreed.

"I sure got lucky," he had told me with his boyish charming smile. "I got a family and Rosalie. I got taught the proper stuff up front. I really got it good as a Cullen. Honestly it makes my determination not to let something scrumptious mess that up even stronger. It's not worth it."

"I don't think so," I had agreed appreciating his struggle, his confession, and his conclusions.

He had looked at me with a slight smile. "Interrogation over?" he had asked with a smirk.

I had swatted his arm. "Yes."

He had begun to walk away when I had reminded him, "But Emmett don't keep these things to yourself. It's important that we talk to each other. Doesn't have to be me, but someone."

"Okay, Mom," he had whined before he had sprinted up the stairs no doubt tracking down Rosalie.

As May approached, and thus over a month had passed from the beginning of them culling newborn and trying to get a read on Victoria's plan, Jasper seemed to be growing increasingly restless and unusually on edge. On top of the lack of progress in Seattle, he had been growing increasingly convinced that despite our actions, the deaths and disappearances in Seattle would hit the news soon. Apart from the number of humans that the newborns were killing, Victoria's actions of creating so many newborns made unusually high numbers of missing persons. According to Jasper, the combination was bound to garnish attention of the media.

The major issue of ending our stalemate with Victoria was that she was so flighty. No matter what we decided, Alice couldn't see Victoria's decision in response. Consequently, Alice grew frustrated and at times even acted out in slight irritation. Unfortunately, our only hope of bringing a conclusion to things was if Victoria's missing newborns would cause her to come to Forks to investigate whether we were back in a purposeful way that would allow Alice to give us warning.

The Monday after they had spent their time in Seattle attempting to learn more about Victoria's plan, Jasper and I had been home alone, a first in a while. Carlisle had been at work, Alice at school, and Rosalie and Emmett had been out hunting. He must have picked up something from my emotions, as he had come and joined me in finishing off the second floor.

"How are you?" I had asked after about an hour of companionable teamwork.

"Concerned," he had replied heavily. "I am enjoying using my mind for a true challenge, but the family is counting on me. In the South, I only had to make sure Maria and I survived, and then, Maria, Peter, and I. Accounting for our family, a whole town of humans, and a tribe of shapeshifters, along with their families, is more variables than I am accustomed."

"We'll figure it out together. You're not alone in this endeavour," I reminded him.

He had nodded, but I had suspected that he had felt a sense of responsibility about this that he wouldn't want to give up. In a way, this was an opportunity for him to use all that he had learned in the Southern Wars for protection rather than destruction.

"Would you want to talk about your confrontation with Bella a few weeks ago?" I had prodded gently after more companionable silence had passed between us.

His stance had changed slightly as if he was weighing things.

"She is brave and courageous to the point of reckless. She cares deeply, self-sacrificing for others benefit, and sees herself as expendable. She is deeply attached to us, trusting us without reservation to not take a nibble, yet edits her true emotions tremendously, particularly the darker ones. Generally, her emotions are soothing and comforting to me due to their tone. Simultaneously, I often find them often a conundrum. She brings meaning and significance to each of us, yet cannot see herself as an equal. She gives herself little worth, while the family highly values what she brings, including her humanity."

His brief synopsis was insightful in so many ways, but mostly what I heard him describe was a miscommunication and a mismatch between our family and her. Both she and we didn't seem to be fully on the same page. It was a nice confirmation of my intuition, even though I wished that wasn't the case.

One part of what he had said particularly stood out to me. "You respect her?" I had asked, for the first time thinking that he might be the only one in our family to do so. Carlisle and I cared about her and I loved her, but respected her as an equal? No, I couldn't say that we did. I wondered what that said about Jasper, who had the most slips since his joining us in 1950, might perhaps see her the most as being our equal than anyone else in the family.

He had simply nodded. "In Phoenix, I saw how she spiralled into making herself unwell and then ultimately sacrificing herself. My words were intended to stop her spiral and help her find a more appropriate response," he had explained.

"Did it work?" I had wondered.

"Seemed to," he had mused after a few moments.

Letting that topic go, as he had seemed content in his choices, I could find no fault in them, and any more prodding would be violating their privacy I asked him, "Did you take some of my bloodlust the first day Bella visited the house, since our return, when we were in her bedroom?"

"Bloodlust is a physical manifestation with emotional components," he had replied curtly.

"Thank you," I had told him in awe of what he had done. "I won't say anything to Carlisle and I commit to not thinking about what happened around Edward unless you ask me to."

He had nodded looking more relaxed.

"Have you helped the others through the years?" I had questioned gently after some time had passed.

He had sighed heavily clearly uncomfortable. "Some," he had replied tersely and then had added his tone softening some, "Blood was the reward for a job well done and to prepare for battle. Otherwise blood was received only at Maria's bidding. My thirst was always raging, although I have wondered since joining the family, if it wasn't actually all those newborns' thirst I picked up unaware."

"But if a human was near, you received blood eventually?" I had asked.

"Basically," he had answered.

"Yet, you had restrictions and had to learn to control your impulse to take what you wanted early on?" I had wondered trying to understand the picture he had been painting.

"Yes," he had replied clearly uncomfortable, most likely disliking the mental images our conversation was bringing up for him.

"So why take mine?" I had to know.

"My throat wasn't that bad and you had closer proximity," he had reported.

Having a sense that he disliked the topic and I didn't want to risk the deeper relationship we had developed over the past months, I had told him, "Well, I appreciate you looking out for myself and Bella."

His body movement had been almost as if he were embarrassed. He had said nothing more and I had begun to focus on the job at hand allowing the peace I had felt at doing the task to envelop us both. He had stopped assisting me when Alice got home from school, as they went hunting together.

Since Bella's visit, as a family we had spent each Friday night until early Saturday morning in the field training, as well as whatever was left of Sunday after the kids would get home from Seattle. The atmosphere in the house was like an impending war was looming and thus distressing. I was antsy to have it over with, but I knew we had no timetable, so my wish wasn't really possible. Really, though, more than anything, I was ready to have Bella graduated and to be able to feel safer about her future in general. How Jasper, being an empath, lived in a war zone for so long was astounding, especially after his and my conversation regarding bloodlust.

Each couple had hunted together sometime over the last two weeks making sure not to venture too far in order to limit the range of our scents. We were all getting grouchier with our situation and wanted to see Victoria and our constraints ended.

Then on Tuesday Alice got a vision while she was at school.

This prompted Bella's return to our home, since her first visit. She called her dad as soon as she had arrived to ask if she could do her project at ours claiming that since our Internet was faster, she would get what she needed quicker. He agreed even though she would miss dinner. She was cordial with me, but more standoffish and distant than in the past, mostly looking at the floor when she spoke to me and lacking her usual warm greeting. A part of me wanted to ask her about it and repair whatever was causing the gap between us, but instead I gave her space. I continued working on my project while I heard Bella have a snack and work on homework in her room. Her willingness to be in her room soothed some of my concerns.

I was finishing up her dinner when Carlisle pulled in.

First thing, he came to find me, as he always did after returning from the hospital, giving me a quick kiss.

"We were all waiting for you to get home to hear what Alice saw. Would you mind if we waited just a bit more till I have finished making Bella's dinner?" I checked in with him.

"Of course, love," he asserted. "Let me change and I'll journal until you're ready."

"Thank you," I told him before I kissed him once more and then swatted his behind gently, as to not startle Bella with the sound, and sent him on his way.

When the food was cooked, I found Bella in her room. "Bella, Carlisle's home now and your dinner is ready. I assumed that you wanted to join us in hearing what Alice saw?"

"Yes, please," she replied talking towards her desk. Choosing to wait for her, I watched as she closed her books. Her still unable to make eye contact with me, I turned around, allowing her to follow me downstairs. She took the plate with a mumbled "thank you" and then settled herself into the armchair she liked.

Everyone assembled before Bella had taken her first bite.

"Victoria has decided to come visit Forks," Alice told us all gravely. "I see her running in the forest. She must have picked up some scents, because then she turns and runs back. I recognized some of the typography in the river that she crosses."

"Do you know what day she will be here?" Carlisle asked.

"No," Alice replied disappointed. "There's no real way to say for sure, but given that she rarely makes decisions, I'd say within the week."

"Jasper?" Carlisle directed.

Jasper looked at Carlisle and then Bella, and then back to Carlisle.

"I can draw up a scenario with the Quileute's assistance and without them," he stated confidently. Then, after a brief pause added, "Either way it would be best if Bella was in La Push."

"And Charlie," Bella squeaked timidly.

"Charlie?" I asked confused.

"Yes, last time James used my mom to get to me. Charlie would need to be in La Push as well." Her voice was nearly frantic.

"Yes, I agree with Bella," Jasper amended.

"Thanks Jasper," Bella said visibly relieved.

"You're welcome," he replied and nodded.

"All right. Let me talk to Billy Black while you begin to devise strategies."

"And Bella?" Jasper asked the question loaded in his tone.

"Will most likely be responsible for getting herself and her father to La Push, although I will explain this to Billy," Carlisle directed while looking at Jasper to see if he had anything to add.

Jasper nodded as if he understood Carlisle's intention. While I was at a loss, it seemed like some secret code had passed between them. Carlisle went up to his office to speak with Billy, while Jasper went through a very rudimentary battle plan with and without the wolves. Both of Jasper's suggestions came down to surrounding Victoria and making sure we didn't let her escape.

Whatever had transpired between Jasper and Carlisle seemed to be working, because I watched as Bella seemed to become more animated and interested.

Jasper was describing more details of the option without the wolves when Carlisle came back down. He let Jasper finish before he spoke.

"Billy was agreeable to having Charlie and Bella on their land as much as possible until Victoria is ended or has left the area. He will not patrol the Swan residence prior to Victoria's arrival, as it is in neutral territory, but did not object to us doing so. He seemed surprised that the garage shop was nearly complete, pleased that it being kept away from the Forks townspeople, and agreed that we would put off any exchange until after Victoria is no longer heading in our direction. He also agreed that the protectors would cooperate in tracking and catching her. He said he would take our request to the council that we be allowed onto their lands for the sole purpose of pursuing her and vice versa. We should also patrol Bella's school when she is there."

"I don't need a bodyguard," Bella huffed.

Rosalie looked at her with irritation, Emmett chuckled, Jasper shook his head indulgently, and Alice looked at her sternly.

"I know it's hard, Bella. But these are the best precautions we have. This won't last forever," I consoled her. "Please let us keep you safe in the ways we know how until she is no longer in the area."

"I just hate feeling weak," Bella shot back irritated her eyes on her food.

"I know, dear. I know," I consoled her. "Just remember that this stage won't last forever and you are doing your part."

Her eyes shot up at me and she stared at me her eyes watering until she grumbled, "So, whose story is next?" Her tone and look implied like she was avoiding something, but I wasn't sure what.

"Mine," stated Emmett.

Bella narrowed her eyes as if daring him.

"You sure you're ready, little lady?" Emmett teased playfully.

Before Bella could respond, I interrupted. "Is your homework done, Bella?"

"Almost," she admitted sheepishly appearing as if she were folding into herself.

"How much is almost?" I pressed.

"Um," she thought for a bit, "maybe an hour."

"In that case, how about you finish your homework, and we plan on Emmett telling you his story tomorrow," I offered.

"Can't," she told me gruffly clearly upset. "I'm working," she added.

"When's your next day off?" I questioned gently.

"I get off at two in the afternoon on Saturday."

"How about then?" I encouraged.

"Fine," she agreed angrily.

She got up, took her half full dishes to the kitchen, stomped upstairs, and closed her door loudly.

"What? She doesn't get told off for slamming a door?" Emmett whined playfully.

"She'd never hear me, Emmett," I pointed out. "Not to mention that her slamming doors doesn't break them."

"Oh, yeah, right." Emmett allowed guiltily.

"But I will talk to her," I promised. "It is a house rule. We didn't mention them."

I felt Carlisle's chest chuckle even though no sound came out.

We all turned to Jasper.

"The problem is that we don't know really how Victoria's gift works. If we create a circle around her a mile out, two miles out, at what distance will she bolt? I suspect that our best bet is a horseshoe configuration leading her into Quileute territory, but then we're assuming the wolves will force her into the trees."

"Could we somehow use the fact that we expect her to go to the trees to our advantage?" Rosalie asked.

"Yes, if we were on neutral territory," Jasper replied, "but we can't exactly lay in wait on Quileute land, even if we are in the trees."

He looked at Carlisle for verification.

"That's a fair assumption," Carlisle agreed.

They continued planning and plotting. I enjoyed watching Carlisle be a part of the conversation. He wasn't the military mind of Jasper, but he was a skilled strategist nonetheless. After an hour, I went up to Bella's room and knocked lightly.

"Come in," she offered quietly.

"How's the homework coming, Bella?" I asked ensuring my tone was soft and inviting.

"Close to being done," she informed me as if I had chastised her.

"Glad to hear it," I let her know gently waiting in a non-intrusive manner.

She went back to her homework in a teenage strop that I knew well.

After more minutes passed, I decided to confront her, rather than allow her to continue to avoid whatever it was that was causing her behaviours. "You seem unusually testy, and if I didn't know better, I would say that you were avoiding me. Want to talk about it?"

Bella turned towards me her eyes locked onto her bedspread next to where I was sitting seemingly unable to make eye contact with me.

"No," she insisted and then after a minute added in a whisper, "yes. I probably should." Then she added in a mutter her ire apparent even in her low tone, "Carlisle said it was part of the deal."

I just waited hoping that doing so would allow whatever was bothering her to bubble out.

Finally, she spoke again her eyes still fixed on the bedspread. "It's so irritating that you and Carlisle are so reasonable. You don't ever say no, just not yet, and you always have a good reason. You both are so genuine in your willingness to grant me what I want and your conditions really are for my benefit. It's impossible to argue with you." She huffed.

"Why would you want to argue, Bella?" I asked confused about her reasoning.

She sat thoughtfully. "Because I'm mad and frustrated."

I thought about that. Having drawn no conclusions I asked, "Do you know what about?"

"Lots of things," she uttered in a huff.

I sat waiting. After what seemed like a longer period that was expected for her to have continued, I commented, "I'm listening."

That seemed to do the trick, as she began speaking again this time in a rush, as if the words were finally breaking through whatever barrier she had constructed. "I'm mad about all that I've heard that you and Rosalie have had to endure. I'm mad about how Rosalie's comments confirmed what Carlisle said about the advantages of waiting till I'm older. I'm mad that I was wrong. I'm mad that I need to wait. I'm mad that people I love are risking their lives again to keep me safe. I'm mad that he's not here to help catch Victoria. I'm mad that he made it seem like you all wanted a clean break. I'm angry with Jake's pals and how they talk about you guys. I'm mad that they will see me as the enemy one day, which is entirely ridiculous and unnecessary. I'm so mad Esme." By the end she was crying and had wrapped her legs up into her chest.

"Oh, sweet girl come here," I encouraged.

When she did not budge only crying harder, I went over to her picking her up and put her in my arms. I held her with my left arm and stroked her hair with my right.

We sat like that for some time.

After a long silence, she pulled back from me and wiped her eyes. "Does it get easier?" she asked softly.

"Yes, as we get older some of what you're struggling with now will level out, but then we are asked to face other things. There isn't an ideal age, Bella, but neither Carlisle nor I want you to struggle like Rosalie has." I looked at her seriously. "Bella, you have a right to be mad. It's not fair or right that Victoria is causing the problems she is. Not to mention that the preconceived ideas of others are often not fair.

"It's not fair for them to ask you to pick between those you love or put pressure on you to do anything other than what you feel is what is best for you. Honestly, I am so upset at my son that I can't even speak to that. But a part of growing up is learning to accept what we cannot change, to trust ourselves, to lean on others whom we can, and to do what we know is right, even if those we love disagree.

"And it's okay that you're afraid. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that you will be hurt or that something untoward will happen. When we love we risk and that risk comes with fear. But Carlisle not long ago helped me remember that perfect love cast out fear. That kind of love comes with faith and trust. Trust us, trust yourself, and have faith that we will all see another day.

"These years are tough years, Bella, even without the supernatural stuff, but you're a tough girl. You'll get through this. We'll get Victoria. We'll handle those she made. You'll finish listening to our stories. You'll go to college. At that time you'll make a decision of what you believe is best for you. I can only promise that we will stand by you and support you no matter what you choose."

"Thank you, Esme," she muttered through tears as she drew into me, the pressure she exerted increasing.

She held me tight enough and for long enough that I decided to stop breathing, as I didn't want to have to withdraw from her. It was getting easier with practice, but the thumping of her veins on my skin was still a struggle.

When she pulled back I looked at her sincerely. "Anytime, Bella. And when you're ready to talk about my son, know that I am willing and able to listen, but so is Jasper, if you'd rather, or even Alice. It might be decades, but I am certain he will return one day. And whatever decision you make should be about what's best for you, indeterminate of anyone else, all right?"

"Yes, ma'am," she muttered with a frown.

For a moment I worried that my tone had been too forceful, as she didn't usually respond so formally. But since I was unwilling to take back any of my words or even my tone, I simply offered, "That's my girl. Now get your stuff. You need to head home, unless you want to sleep here for the night."

She carefully weighed her response before she told me, "Let me call my dad, Esme."

"No problem. I'll wait right outside for you."

She nodded and began walking over to the phone.

Even though I heard the conversation, I waited for Bella to open her door. "He said that I could spend the night. Did you or Alice happen to place a spare pair of pyjamas, and a pair of jeans with a T-shirt for tomorrow in that magical wardrobe?"

"I believe so, although they'll be higher end than you are used to." I let her know.

"Figured," she muttered under her breath.

I showed her the options hoping that my insisting Alice get things Bella would like would be worth the disagreement that there had been between us.

"Those aren't too bad," Alice relented.

Holding in a smile at my triumph, I suggested, "Why don't I wait here while you shower?"

She looked like she wanted to object, but said nothing.

When she was finished and came out I made the mistake of taken a breath in. She had a richer earthier tone wet, which made her blood even more alluring. I wondered briefly how she would smell once she was turned before I reminded myself over and over that Bella was to be my daughter.

"How about you lay down and I'll start my tale of what I imagined if Carlisle had followed his heart more when I was sixteen?" I suggested hoping doing so would distract me from my bloodlust.

Bella smiled. "I'd like that Esme."

Waiting till she was settled in bed, I warred with my bloodlust feeling like I was back to those first years doing Carlisle's exposure tests.

Once I felt fairly certain that I had control over myself, I settled down next to her resting my back on the headboard and running my fingers through her hair hopefully in a comforting manner. When both of us seemed ready I started by saying, "There once was this lonely single handsome doctor …" and I told the story until her breathing changed signally that she was deep asleep.

When I got downstairs they were still talking strategy.

"Every scenario gives Victoria too much space and us too little room for error. We need some way to bring the odds in our favour," Jasper stated irritatingly after a few more hours had passed.

"We'll work with what we've got," Carlisle insisted.

"We might not get another chance like this," Jasper pointed out.

"Yes, I'm aware," Carlisle conceded. "I don't believe it's worth the risk, not when we have so much on our side. I trust that Victoria won't get through."

Jasper simply nodded in acquiescence.

The change in their relationship was enjoyable to see.

Bella and Alice went off to school in the morning, Carlisle went to work, Emmett stood guard outside of school, while Rosalie and Jasper tried to think of every possible thing that could go wrong with Victoria and how to circumvent it, and I sat listening. Eventually I began to see Jasper's frustration. He didn't know enough about how Victoria's gift worked to make definitive strategies. There were a lot of ifs. I didn't like the ifs any more than he did.

Alice stood guard outside Newman's while Bella worked. Jasper joined her until Bella fell asleep, and then Carlisle and I stood watch till the morning when he needed to head back to get ready for work.

"Will it work, Carlisle?" I asked as we had stood guard.

"We don't know, love," he admitted contemplating, his tone a touch uncertain. "We're going to do our best."

I had nodded in acknowledgement his words, even though I wished they had been different. We didn't really know.

Thursday Rosalie and Emmett went together to guard the school. I reminded them to not get distracted. They both rolled their eyes, but nodded in agreement reluctantly. The rest of our guard rotation remained the same. Friday was much the same as Thursday. The conversation about what could happen when Victoria arrived was getting more and more unlikely, but I still listened and tried to imagine her in my own way.

Carlisle and I were standing outside Bella's home, as she was just about ready to head to work, when Alice called Carlisle.

"It looks probable to be tonight after sundown," Alice informed him.

"All right, let me call Billy. We'll be home shortly," he let her know.

He hung up the phone and rung the Quileute.

"Good morning, Mr. Black," he greeted Billy when the phone connected.

"Good morning Dr. Cullen. What can I do for you?" he asked tersely, although his tone contained less hostility than I had heard in the past.

"First, we believe that it will happen this evening. As such, I wanted to offer for you to send a representative to our discussion of plans. I also was hopeful that you would be willing to spare someone to keep an eye on Bella today till 2pm. She's working at Newton's."

"Yes, for Bella," Billy grunted after only a short pause. "Sam will decide who. And I'll let Sam know of your offer. If he says yes, he would want to bring more than himself."

"As many as he needs to feel comfortable would be fine by us," Carlisle assured him.

"Fine," Billy grumbled. "What time?"

"Would thirty minutes be too soon?" Carlisle asked.

"Possibly," was Billy's curt reply.

"All right," Carlisle answered. "Let's say an hour then."

"Sure, sure," Billy agreed. "I'll let them know."

"Thank you, Mr. Black."

"Sure," he told Carlisle and then promptly hung up.

Carlisle looked pleased at the conversation. Not long after we watched Bella drive away, followed beside her till she was at work, and then ran home.

"The Quileutes might be sending a representative to hear our ideas in about twenty-five minutes and they have agreed to send someone to keep an eye on Bella," Carlisle told everyone once we were all in the living room.

"Not in the house," demanded Rosalie.

"Suggestions?" Carlisle replied.

"In front of the house?" I offered.

"How many are they sending?" Jasper asked.

"He didn't say. I would guess four, including Sam, since he promised one to guard Bella," Carlisle responded.

"I'd rather not near the house at all, just in case," I requested rethinking things.

"All right," Carlisle agreed. "We shall meet them here in front of the house and run them to the field?" Carlisle offered as an alternative.

We all nodded.

"Agreed," Carlisle stated with finality.

Everyone dispersed.

"Carlisle, if it's all right, can we take some time for ourselves?" I asked him. "And I'd like to change my clothes."

Looking at me unsure of my motivations to my request he told me, "Certainly."

We went upstairs, changed, and ended up lying in bed with him holding me not a word passing between us. Nevertheless, we found comfort in each other's presence. When it was time we went downstairs and waited outside for the Quileutes' arrival.

The kids joined us shortly after. Only moments later four large wolves emerged from the trees. Carlisle stepped forward.

"We thank you for coming and being willing to work together for the protection of those in this area against our common enemy," Carlisle welcomed them. "If you are agreeable, we'd like to head out to a large clearing where there would be more space. We thought this alternative location might be more comfortable for us all."

One of the wolves, the black one, moved his head as if in agreement.

Carlisle led the way holding my hand. Alice and Jasper ran on my right while Rosalie and Emmett ran on Carlisle's left. The wolves seemed to keep a respectable distance, but they still made me anxious, the awareness that they had killed Laurent very present for me.

Once we arrived and turned to face the wolves, we found one of them in their human form some distance off with two wolves on his left and one on his right looking like they were ready to spring as any moment at us.

"Sam, I presume?" Carlisle greeted him.

He nodded. "I phased back to let you know that we have only agreed to listen. Our presence does not mean we have agreed to your plan."

"We understand your stipulation and appreciate your presence," Carlisle replied diplomatically.

Sam nodded for Carlisle to continue.

"My son, Jasper," Carlisle raised his hand in his direction, "will be presenting the possibilities as we see it. May I suggest after his presentation that you phase back to human form to discuss what you find agreeable and add your own ideas? After that, if possible, I would like for us to practise working together. Victoria has a gift making her difficult to catch and giving her a canny capacity to get away unharmed. We might not get another chance like this."

Sam looked at another wolf who bowed his head and then he turned back to us. "We are agreed with your terms," he stated formally.

"Thank you, Sam."

Sam stepped back into the trees and then returned as a wolf. Carlisle stepped back towards me and Jasper stepped forward.

"We are presuming that she will be coming towards us from Seattle through the Olympic National Park. We are also presuming that she is coming to glean more information about us. The best plan we have come up with is that once she's close enough to create a U around her and assume that her instincts will lead her through the opening we have created, which will send her towards La Push. Hopefully she'll assume that we're doing that to use your presence to get rid of her, since her coven leader James considered us cowards, we are hoping she'll hold a similar idea. Once you make your appearance, she will most likely take to the trees. You will pursue her on the ground and us in the trees until we catch her. An important aspect of this plan is to keep her from getting close to the ocean."

Then he brought out a map, took two steps closer to the wolves, and showed them on the map his idea and expectations. After a thorough walk through of all the possible things that Victoria might do and how to counteract them, Jasper stepped back. We waited as the black wolf stepped into the trees again.

"Is it not also possible that she will run towards you in order to escape us?" Sam asked.

"It's not as likely," Jasper answered curtly. "We killed Victoria's companion, James, who was a stronger fighter than us. However, there is a slight possibility that she will determine us weaker than yourselves."

"This is the James that was after Bella last year?" Sam asked unsure.

"Yes, the same," Carlisle answered.

"Is there are chance that there will be other vampires in addition to her?" Sam asked.

"We haven't seen Victoria deciding to bring anyone with her, but yes, there is some possibility," Jasper replied. "If we become aware that is happening, we will inform you as soon as possible. If this is agreeable to you, we'd like to practice the plan some."

Sam looked back at the wolves and seemed to communicate to them. Turning back to us, he stated, "We are agreeable to try out your plan tonight. What were you hoping to gain in this practise session?"

"Rosalie," Jasper placed his palm in her direction, "will act as Victoria and go to the trees. We will simply practice working together to capture her. Hopefully doing so will decrease any mishaps that might occur otherwise."

Sam looked back at the wolf to his right, who nodded. "We are agreed. We need your scents to make sure there are no mistakes."

"Certainly," Carlisle agreed easily.

I worked to keep the shudder of revulsion at the idea from showing.

"Please spread out some and stay still," Sam requested seriously.

"Of course," Carlisle replied as if this was an everyday occurrence then he looked at us, "Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice?"

They each nodded reluctantly and stepped away from their mates. Then he stepped forward and away from me. I tried to be brave, but I was terrified at the idea of having them so close to me. Soon after a heavy dose of Jasper's calmness descended. I lent into it, allowing it to work, trusting in Carlisle and Jasper.

Sam returned to his wolf form and then like a procession one by one they came to each of us. I found it very difficult to stay still. Everything inside of me wanted to defend Carlisle and myself. Standing there, allowing them so close went against my instincts, so I tried to pay attention to the nature that surrounded us and my family's scents that hung in the air. Eventually the last wolf walked by me. Once they were finished, Jasper suggested some trees to our south.

Rosalie positioned herself. We stayed to the outskirts of the field and allowed the wolves to move even further south of her.

"Are you sure this is such a good idea?" Emmett murmured quickly. There was a growl in his words.

"Trust requires both sides, Emmett," Carlisle said soothingly.

"And I taught her some moves," added Jasper and winked at Emmett.

Emmett grimaced, but said no more.

When the wolves were in place they ran towards Rosalie. She simply jumped tree to tree never getting close to their jaws. I could see them getting more and more frustrated.

"Go," stated Jasper.

We ran towards Rosalie jumping into the trees as soon as we hit the tree line. I could see why Jasper chose Rosalie. She was cunning and smart in her choices. Eventually it was Emmett that grabbed her.

"Got you babe," he uttered before he kissed her passionately his relief palatable.

"Back to the field," ordered Jasper.

We all complied, including the wolves. As soon as they exited the tree line Sam was in human form.

"Is it possible to herd her closer to the ground?" Sam asked.

"We can try, but we suspect that Victoria will be highly resistant to doing so," Carlisle answered.

Sam just nodded. Then he added, "The last red-eyed guy wasn't so difficult."

"That does not surprise me. Victoria seems particular gifted at evasion," Carlisle explained.

Sam stood in thought.

"I would like to propose doing the same thing again, but with my wife, Alice," Jasper offered. "She thinks differently than Rosalie."

I could hear Jasper holding in his reluctance to even utter such a thing. That he had suggested it at all meant that he had grown in trust with the wolves, at least to some degree.

Sam turned and went back into the forest. The other wolves followed. Alice went into the trees. Jasper was right. Alice's tactics were completely different. Even without her gift to aid her, her movements seemed random. It was difficult to know where she'd be next. Often, she was where the wolves hadn't anticipated, and she could have damaged one of them.

"Go," Jasper whispered to us.

He sprung towards her quicker than I had ever seen him move. He must have been really struggling to stay in place and watch. Once we were closer he stayed back and allowed the rest of us to catch her. I would bet that if Jasper wanted, he could have caught her at any time. They were too well attuned to each other for it to be any other way.

By sure chance I was the one that caught her.

"Nice work, Esme," Jasper congratulated me.

"Nice job," Carlisle said into my ear when he came near me.

We all returned to the field.

"Our time is coming to a close," Carlisle informed us all. "Any more questions or suggestions, Sam?"

He shook his head in wolf form.

"Then we are agreed to work together?" Carlisle questioned his hope present in his undertone.

Sam nodded.

"We believe she will be here after dark, but we don't know a time," Carlisle informed them.

Sam nodded once more.

"We will send Bella to La Push before dark," Carlisle told them.

Sam nodded again.

"Until tonight, then," Carlisle offered as a farewell.

The pack turned and ran off.

We all visually relaxed.

"That went well," Carlisle determined.

I chuckled. He seemed to always see the best. It was one of the many things I loved about him.

"Well, they're alive and we're alive. If that's well, then, yup, Pop, I agree," Emmett deadpanned.

We all chuckled and relaxed even more.

"Alice and I are going to hunt," Jasper informed us. "We won't be long."

"All right. See you back at the house," Carlisle agreed.

The four of us ran off towards the house while Alice and Jasper ran west.

If this was what the life of most traditional vampires were like, then I was even more grateful to be a Cullen and what Carlisle had created. This rhythm of waiting, living in tension, planning, but unsure of what would be the next best move, only for things to be instantly changed to urgency, anticipation, and fear of loss wasn't for me. It helped me appreciate Jasper's relentless strategizing in the waiting periods. Nevertheless, I would be entirely grateful for when our life went back to being boring and the most dangerous thing was Emmett's antics or something getting broken.

When we got to the house the scent of shapeshifters was heavy in the front trees, but no heartbeat could be heard apart from Bella's, who by the sounds of it was in the kitchen making food.

"I would appreciate it if you both would join us in the living room after you clean up," I asked Rosalie and Emmett.

They nodded in agreement.

"Please don't get distracted," I added on.

They frowned, but agreed.

Carlisle and I moved towards the house together at a human pace, needing some alone time, to greet Bella. While we moved slowly Rosalie and Emmett could be heard already showering together. As least they were minding my request and being relatively quick about it.

"I got off work a little early," Bella explained defensively as soon as we entered the kitchen. "I hope you don't mind. I was hungry."

Her tone confused me. Had we not told her that we wanted to make her a Cullen? We had made her a room. Had we been unclear in our intentions in some way?

"Our house is your home, Bella," Carlisle said seriously his concern about her words hidden in his undertone.

"Anytime, no matter what," I reiterated.

Her cheeks filled with blood till they were a nice plush rose colour.

"Okay, thank you," she said meekly her eyes going to the pan.

Carlisle went over to her and gently raised her chin. "Bella, we are only beginning to get to know one another, so I can understand that it might be hard for you to believe, but I do not make promises lightly," he told her sternly. "The words I spoke were the truth, no addition, hyperbole, or modification. Whatever we have that you need is yours. And I will change you upon the conditions we agreed. The parts regarding your transformation and voting will come in time, if that still is what you want."

"Yes, sir," she muttered shyly sounding admonished.

Carlisle let his hand drop and looked over at me his eyes asking me if he had spoken too harshly.

Shrugging, I was learning Bella myself.

"You're not in trouble, Bella," Carlisle spoke softly. "I just wanted to make sure we were clear. You are wanted and accepted here. I wouldn't have promised what I did otherwise."

Tears started coming down her face.

I came over to the other side of her and wrapped my arm around her side.

Carlisle placed his hand on her shoulder.

"What is it, Bella?" I asked longing for her to be honest with us.

For many long minutes tears ran down her face, she stared at the stove, and said nothing. Finally she spluttered, "It just feels weird. I didn't mean to doubt you."

Carlisle and I looked at each other above her head sharing a questioning gaze.

"What feels weird, darling?" I asked gently after it appeared she wasn't going to explain.

"Being wanted without contributing anything," she admitted slowly and in a hushed whisper. "My mother is great in many ways. But she's flighty. She needed me. I kept the household going and cooked. She loves me dearly, but … she didn't care for me like you guys do. Here I'm taken care of, nothing is required of me other than to do homework and get healthier, and you're reasonable. You look out for my best interests and give me more than I've ever had. It feels weird."

"What about your father?" I asked softly grateful she was finally opening up.

"Um, I don't know him well. For the last couple of years, I only saw him for two weeks in the summer. He loves me in his own way, but things with him aren't like you guys either."

I grabbed Carlisle and wrapped us around her.

"You, Bella, just as you are, for the amazing creature that you are, are wanted. You don't need to do anything, prove anything, or demonstrate anything. Just as you are, you are wanted by us," I reassured her.

I could feel her shaking. "I'm afraid that you're going to change your minds like he did," she admitted as a breath into our chests. "I'm not contributing anything, unless you count being a distraction, and there's probably something wrong with me that I'm so desperate for the slightest attention from you, but I don't care." Her breathing hitched and breathlessly she uttered desperation coating her words, "Please don't leave me."

Feeling myself begin to growl, I attempted to control myself to not frighten her and looked at Carlisle pleading for him to have the words to fix the wounds our son had caused.

We stepped back a little. She looked up as us surprised.

"Never," Carlisle stated without equivocation or room for discussion.

"Never," I agreed fiercely.

She looked stunned.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked gently.

Her eyes blinked and she looked at him in a haze.

He held her eyes like he had in the car when she had gone into shock. "Are you afraid that we're going to ask you to go through all this and change our minds or that it is merely a delay tactic?"

She nodded slowly like she was agreeing against her desire to hide this.

"That is not the case," Carlisle stated as equally firmly. "We all–Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Esme, and I–are agreed about you becoming a Cullen. We merely wish you to do so with the best advantage possible. We want you to learn from our mistakes. It comes from our care and desire to protect you, not anything else."

"Do you believe us to be cruel creatures, Bella?" I asked her after she stood there saying nothing.

She shook her head in disbelief.

"Then be confident that we could never be as cruel as your fear," I pleaded with her.

She hung her head. "I'm sorry," she muttered.

"For what?" I asked astonished.

"For my lack of faith in what you promised," she clarified timidly.

"Bella," I warned.

She tucked her head in.

"Look at me please," I requested.

She raised her head slowly.

"Bella, you do not have to apologise for the consequences of the pain you have suffered. It is not your fault that you had a mother that needed your assistance so much, a father that loves you, but doesn't know you, or the grievous statements made by my son. I can only offer to help you in your healing process."

"And even if you can't trust in anything else in your life, Bella, you can trust in our promises," Carlisle added.

Bella had a faraway look like she had in the car when too much information had been given to her.

"I think your food might be done," I commented while I stepped back. As I did, Carlisle stepped back as well.

She nodded and focused on the food.

"We'll see you in the living room, Bella," I let her know.

"Okay," she replied hoarsely.

Carlisle and I walked away together.

"I think I just joined 'the quarter and keep him in separate boxes' committee," I admitted to Carlisle sadly in our quick murmur.

He wrapped his arm around me.

He sat on the couch and I pressed myself into him.

After he took a deep in breath of my scent he admitted into my ear, "Being in such proximity to her, to feel her body throb against me was particularly startling."

Moving, so I could look up at him, I wondered what he was actually saying. When it appeared that he was going to say no more I asked, "Were you tempted?"

"In a way," he admitted sheepishly. "Few human over the years have hugged me and when they have, it has been brief. That, holding Bella for an extended period of time, is nothing like I have experienced. It was like it arose something within me that I was not accustomed to." He paused and then added, "I owe you the most grievous of apologies. I did not give you nearly enough credit. Forgive me, my darling Miss Platt."

"You have nothing to need forgiveness from," I told him earnestly, then even more softly added, "But I am glad you were able to experience my struggle in some way. It seems to get better with practice, like everything else. But the last time she spent the night she had just come out of the shower and I had to enact some of the resistance tricks you taught me in my early years."

He kissed my forehead. "And here she stands. You are incredible my love," he murmured into my ear as Rosalie and Emmett came down the stairs with looks of wondering of what was going on.

I could understand their confusion. I had been in the kitchen with Bella during our exchange and didn't completely understand what had happened.

"Bella's afraid we'll change our mind," Carlisle explained.

"She'll be all right," I assured them.

"Is that because of Edward?" Rosalie hissed his name as they sat down.

"In part. She also hasn't had the easiest of childhoods," I said in a tone that told them to drop it reminding them to not repeat what they had heard.

Rosalie nodded. She, more than anyone, understood the desire to privacy and the weight of needing to be something for her parent's sake.

Maybe one day Bella would be able to open up to Rosalie.

After a few minutes Bella came in. Her eyes were still red and puffy. She sat down in the armchair that she had been claiming the last few weeks. I dared not tell her that had been nearly always where Edward had sat, but that fact caused me to wonder how he was.

Over the last weeks Carlisle had not been able to get through to him. He believed the phone was off. Alice confirmed that he was still hold up in the room in Brazil. Pushing my concern and sorrow for my son away, I forced myself to focus on the family that was here sitting with me.

"So, Emmett, you threatened to tell me about your early years," Bella teased clearly wanting to forget the conversation that had transpired in the kitchen.

Exchanging a look with Carlisle, we silently agreed to let her drop it, although we both also seemed to agree that it was a topic we might need to revisit in the future.

"Yes, I suppose I did," he grumbled. "Are you sure? It's gruesome and graphic. I'd hate for you to lose your lunch," he smirked.

"I'll be good," she insisted.

"You asked for it," he threatened.

Bella smiled demurely and Emmett grinned menacingly.

He certainly would hold nothing back. Hopefully she wouldn't get sick. If nothing else, his story seemed like it might be a good distraction from the threat of Victoria that hung over us all.


A/N: Can't wait to hear from you.